What if, right (disgusting)

[canadagoose]

What if you were stored in a big barn (or block of flats) and used as some sort of meat product? I've often thought I'd be better used as a meat product than my current presence. I'd at least hope they'd put my name on the can. Maybe people would vomit it up, but that'd be quite appropriate given my penchant for vomiting as of late. I'd just return to the earth via the sewage system / landfill instead.

Would at least be some use, though. "This is a canned Lotter. 32-year-old meat" Might go for ridiculous amounts in posh bits somewhere. You never know. Just give me morphine before I die. What about YOU?? Would you do this? Stupid self-indulgent shite but WOULD YA???

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I don't think you'd need a big barn or block of flats to store me in and process me into meat. A shed would do.

[canadagoose]

I don't think you'd need a big barn or block of flats to store me in and process me into meat. A shed would do.

Yeah shed in back garden would prolly do.

[Malcy]

Torchwood wants its plot back.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meat_(Torchwood)

[zomgmouse]

Are you okay canadagoose?

[BlodwynPig]

Are you okay canadagoose?

Are any of us?

[SpiderChrist]

I'm definitely not

[Inspector Norse]

I'm definitely not

News just in that Soylent have recalled 40,000 tins of their popular 'Green' product after discovering that the meat was "definitely not OK".

[Zetetic]

Is this the year that CaB pivots to vore?

[Paul Calf]

A can-a-da-goose.

[canadagoose]

Are you okay canadagoose?

Ah, I'm just my usual self. Daft to a point.

[studpuppet]

Ken Campbell used to do a bit (it's at the beginning of the Wol Wantok CD) about a school friend, Neville Plashwitt[nb]"His parents were kind of archeologist/anthropologist/espionage folk"[/nb] who, as a rite of passage kept a mouse alive for a month by feeding it bits of flesh picked off his own legs, then put it in his mouth and swallowed it, coughed it up, put it behind a radiator for a lunar month.
After the month was up, he then circumcised himself using "razor-sharp heated cake tongs" and inserted slivers of dessicated Plashwitt-fed mouse into the wound. After a couple of weeks his old fellah was described as having a "handsome, crusty, toasted appearance".

[MojoJojo]

Being a classy gentleman, I have an inflatable hot tub. While relaxing in it on a Friday evening, I ponder that if I was to have a heart attack right then, it would probably be a few days before I was found, and whether the heat of the hot tub would simply turn me into a sous-vide joint of meat, or whether it was long enough to dissolve my flesh completely, turning the tub into a vinyl soup tureen.

[Kankurette]

I'd make good soap.

[bgmnts]

Big fat cunt so I'm soap stock.

[paruses]

I'd make good soap.

Big fat cunt so I'm soap stock.

I am going to have a go at some homemade woodash soap. Olive oil is expensive so maybe we could do a collab.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Is there any legal reason why you couldn't make leather out of human skin? I'd love somebody to make a leather jacket out of me when I die. I'd give it to the grandkids, if I had any. Use the scrotum as an inside pocket.

[Kankurette]

I am going to have a go at some homemade woodash soap. Olive oil is expensive so maybe we could do a collab.

I want to smell of lavender. Or maybe bergamot.

[The Bumlord]

I don't think you'd need a big barn or block of flats to store me in and process me into meat. A shed would do.

Whereas I'd need a whole barn just for my cock!

[Video Game Fan 2000]

I don't think you'd need a big barn or block of flats to store me in and process me into meat. A shed would do.

Honestly they could do me a with a tennis racket in a cul de sac.

[steve98]

No-one's gettin' processed into Cheap Meat Products, so let's  all just calm down.

Anyone thinkin' they'll try to turn my wife 'n' kids and forum acquaintances into CMPs has another think comin'.

[paruses]

No-one's gettin' processed into Cheap Meat Products, so let's  all just calm down.

Anyone thinkin' they'll try to turn my wife 'n' kids and forum acquaintances into CMPs has another think comin'.

The soap is still OK though right? It's just that I've ordered some bergamot oil now and it's quite pricey.

[steve98]

No, you've been had (serves you right)

[paruses]

No, you've been had (serves you right)

Ffs