Bracers on yer gnashers

[popcorn]

Apparently over the course of my rapidly advancing years my teeth have started moving around in erratic directions and I ought to consider correcting them. It doesn't seem to be a matter of grave urgency, and they don't even look weird, but apparently if I don't sort it out I will eventually wear down the enamel and fuck my mouth up. I really like the enamel!

If I decide to fix this, I'll need braces. I can't believe it. I'm going to have to wear them for about 2 years, and then use a retainer after that for... the rest of my life? What the fuck? I'm going to be a gigantic dork - a very new experience for me!

The doc talked me through the options. It seems to be a choice between 1) ugly braces 2) more expensive but less ugly braces and 3) the new and exciting new Invisalign product, which seems to be a lot less intense but apparently takes longer. If I go with option 1/2 it's going to take about 2 years, or about 3 years with option 3.

It's all staggeringly expensive but luckily my company insurance can cover most or some of it. I'm not sure I'm going to stay with this company for ever which makes me think I should get it now if I get it at all.

What are braces like? Do you forget you're wearing them? Do they make kissing awful? Is eating weird? I'm watching youtube videos and this guy talking about Invisalign said it was painful to eat. Jesus is all this really necessary?

[popcorn]

Meant to write braces obviously. :|

[El Unicornio, mang]

I have no experience of it but a friend of mine is almost done with invisalign. It is expensive but she's very happy with the results and hasn't found it to be much hassle.

[Alberon]

Popcorn earlier today.

[greencalx]

What are braces like? Do you forget you're wearing them? Do they make kissing awful? Is eating weird? I'm watching youtube videos and this guy talking about Invisalign said it was painful to eat. Jesus is all this really necessary?

I had an horrific amount of orthodontics as a teenager which means (i) my knowledge is 30 years out of date and (ii) I don't know how things differ if you need this work doing as an adult. But to answer your questions, you can have a surprising amount of shit in your mouth and after a couple of days you learn how to work around it. I had some metal bar in the roof of my mouth designed to push my teeth apart but also made it impossible to speak after the initial installation. After around a week my tongue had figured out what it needed to do to get rid of the ridiculous lisp. Had it all in for a few years, basically didn't notice it after a while.

The biggest issue was the orthodontist losing interest and it being left to my regular dentist to decide that it was time for a wire that was holding a few teeth together to be removed. I get the impression that dentistry remains a bit of a wild west.

[Zetetic]

As far as I can tell, pretty much the only function of the British Dental Association is to support their members in dealing with the major hazard of being sued for being fundamentally complete dogshit at everything.

apparently if I don't sort it out I will eventually wear down the enamel and fuck my mouth up

jfc

[PlanktonSideburns]

Braces were a real pain. Rubbing on gums, pain to clean

[idunnosomename]

are you currently attending an American high school? if so could be a bit of a pain in the arse!!!

[JesusAndYourBush]

I had braces somewhere around the first half of the 80's (they made my breath stink), but my knowledge will be out of date now.  One thing I know though is that there's a type now that's a plastic thing that you put in your mouth while you sleep, so no need to glue metal bits onto your teeth etc so during the day your teeth look normal.

[popcorn]

I had braces somewhere around the first half of the 80's (they made my breath stink), but my knowledge will be out of date now.  One thing I know though is that there's a type now that's a plastic thing that you put in your mouth while you sleep, so no need to glue metal bits onto your teeth etc so during the day your teeth look normal.

that's the Invisalign I mentioned. all the stories I've found online make it sound horrendous:

Best parts - you gain more and more confidence in each tray because you'll see results rather quickly, all that brushing and flossing is a huge boost in your dental hygiene and will prob brighten your teeth a few shades. You'll also prob lose some weight because you'll find that snacking just isn't worth taking your trays out, eating, then cleaning up after. Prob by far the best part is really a lot of people outside 4-5 feet from me can't even tell I have Invisalign. I mean it's not invisible but it sure beats having a mouth full of metal.

someone else said you can't drink hot drinks either. I hate the idea of just... having something my mouth that is going to dictate when I do things like eat and drink. for three years?!

It was hell at first, don't get me wrong. It hurt, teeth were sore, I kinda had a freak out moment from having something foreign in my mouth. But about half a year in, I could really tell a difference

Everyone talks in glowing terms about how "it was totally worth it" because they want the cosmetic difference. I wouldn't benefit from that, my teeth look perfectly sensible.

[zomgmouse]

cosmetics be danged it's the medical stuff that you should be worried about

compare: two to three years of medium discomfort vs decades of dental torment

[katzenjammer]

Jesus is all this really necessary?

Remember dentistry is a business, if I were you I'd get several opinions and quotes from other dentists before pulling the trigger.

[Bently Sheds]

I had braces about 40 years ago - not the glued on your teeth type, the "metal pieces mounted on a plastic replica of the roof of your mouth that clip on your molars with a bar across the front that gets tightened by the dentist every few weeks" type). I was just a wee kid when it all happened, dentistry may have improved since.

Best I can remember was the initial discomfort and being unable to eat properly for a few days, then the general chore of having to take it out and clean it meticulously after eating anything because it got gummed up with all kinds of grim detritus. Also the flappy bits of gum that started to grow around certain areas of the plastic which would eventually drop off and get inadvertently swallowed.

[Zetetic]

dentistry may have improved since

"Dentistry hasn't improved since the 12th century."
  allegedly Len D'Cruz
  Head of BDA Indemnity

[Jittlebags]

[NoOffenceLynn]

 Had metal ones as a teenager.


Three things

● They really do hurt when you are having them tightened, a few painkillers before and after will do the trick.
● Never use any chewing gum, especially Hubba Bubba, thankfully l don't have my effort to try and blow bubbles through them, enshrined online forever.
● In the end, they are worth every cent for the results.

[madhair60]

literally constant pain

[PlanktonSideburns]

Feeling your teeth moving over time is incredibly satisfying though. If I was about to die I think 8 would spend the final moments pulling teeth out, so satisfying

[jobotic]

Had them as a teenager, although they weren't to correct my teeth but more to force my bottom jaw forward so I didn't end up looking like Mr Burns. Sadly I ended up looking like Derke doing a face (not really, still got an overbite).

Couldn't talk with it in and I still have scars on the inside of my mouth. And I kept losing it in the top field at lunch time in school.

But they're nothing like that now - my son is having one fitted soon. If he gets his first I'll report back.

[Ferris]

I have one misaligned tooth I've never bothered to fix because it is not really visible day to day, not a major cosmetic issue, plus I don't give a shit. I've given serious thought to having it drilled out and living with a gap like Stewart Lee in recent years but it's all just... pain in the arse.

These places are a business, but what they forget is you don't need perfect teeth in perpetuity because you'll be going into a coffin in a few decades. Just keep the show on the road until then and we're laughing.

[C_Larence]

Had train tracks as a teenager. Used to love the pain whenever they got tightened, biting down just to test how much it hurt. Like when you lose a tooth as a kid and rub your tongue over the gum and it feels disgusting but you can't stop. Makes my knees feel weird thinking about it. Love it. Anyway, I wore those for about two years and then got given retainers, which I wore maybe twice and then promptly discarded never to be seen again, and my teeth went back to how they were before the braces. Worth every penny (think they were free tbf). Oh also, definitely worth getting them just for the feeling of when they get taken off. Your teeth and gums feel like plastic, it's quite bizarre.

[Janie Jones]

Fair play to 1970s dentists, there was no sexism in their policy of whipping out healthy teeth to 'ease overcrowding'[nb]They were paid in a way that incentivised extractions rather than conservative management [/nb] leaving you with a gobfull of gaps and the occasional pickle-stabber. No thoughts that this little girl might like to grow up to have a pretty smile or be conventionally attractive, no siree. Here's to a lifetime of smiling and laughing without opening your mouth.

It's too late for me but I'm not ashamed to say I spent a chunk of my boomer wealth ensuring my kids have the straightest, whitest smiles this side of Rylan.

[Uncle TechTip]

I'm sure that by the time my kids grow up, everything will have gone full circle and it will be fashionable to have wonky teeth again, like flares.