Ever Got Lucky?

[Dex Sawash]

Went to Aldi without a quarter for the buggy and there was an abandoned one right at my preferred parking spot.

[Endicott]

Accidentally smashed across the nose by a rounders bat wielder when I was 9. Did not break nose - result!

Paper clip pinged into my eye by some cunt with an elastic band, from about a foot away, when I was 11. Mildly scratched my cornea, did not blind me - result!

[Fr.Bigley]

Went to Aldi without a quarter for the buggy and there was an abandoned one right at my preferred parking spot.

I tend to put a quid in the ones round our end.

[non capisco]

Got stabbed in the neck (that's not the lucky part). It was very close to the jugular vein. "An inch to the side and you'd have been fucked" were the nurse's exact words. I'm not sure that's true: cuts to arteries are what get you, moreso than the veins. But anyway, lucky not to die I suppose.

Same here, An tSaoi. In fact I was gonna nominate the one bloke who answered me knocking down every door in some shithole part of Middlesex at 3 in the morning (fell asleep on a nightbus drunk, got stranded at the end of the line and viciously mugged, tale as old as time) to call me an ambulance as my bit of luck. I was in shock and I can't remember anything about him except I think he looked a bit like Jim Broadbent and there was an alarming amount of claret gushing out of my neck and cheek that he reacted quite calmly to instead of going "There's a jabbering, bloodied young whelp at the door! Fuuuuuck that!". I owe that Broadbent looking bloke a lot and won't ever be able to thank him. Unless it was Jim Broadbent but I don't think he lived in a semi detached overlooking a dual carriageway A road in Hayes, even in 2004 before the Game of Thrones money.

The nurse said the same thing to me about the jugular vein but also said some erroneous bollocks about part of my ear being missing (it wasn't) so there's me ringing the old man up as the painkillers start to kick in going "Some dickheads have cut off me ear, Dad!" I'm sure that was a fun morning for him.

[Echo Valley 2-6809]

"Some dickheads have cut off me ear, Dad!"

(Sorry. It's probably just me.)

[phes]

Got stabbed in the neck (that's not the lucky part). It was very close to the jugular vein. "An inch to the side and you'd have been fucked" were the nurse's exact words. I'm not sure that's true: cuts to arteries are what get you, moreso than the veins.

There are internal and external jugular veins and the prognosis for severe damage to them is quite different. One will ruin your shirt and the other could kill you very fast

[Cuntbeaks]

Was living in Derby and recently made unemployed and I was absolutely fucking skint. The dole had phoned my work and they happily told them all about the holiday and severance pay they were giving me, about £600. They then refused to give me any dole money until i had used it all on rent etc.

Woke up one morning to a tax rebate of £90 and it felt like I was the richest man in the world. Absolutely buzzing, i popped into town and went mental. Bought the Clear Spot/Spotlight Kid double cd, some menthol Noxzema shaving foam, some wine, 8 tins of Gilde Pils and an eighth of primo weed. What a buzz.

Worked in travel for a bit and managed to blag 3 tickets, courtesy of the Catalonian Tourist Board to watch Barcelona vs Hearts at Murrayfield. They laid on an exquisite buffet with a cold risotto the likes of which I'd never tasted, or have since. The wine they had was also impeccable, so much so that the thirsty travel agents had caned it all by 2pm, much to their evident surprise/disgust. They suggested we go to our seats, despite the game not starting until 3pm. Also won a special Barcelona top that had the Catalonian Tourist Board logo on it.

Had a fair few golden Gumtree finds as well, mostly high end hifi gear going for a song.

[richjj1978]

Work trip to Brussels. Somehow blagged a Multiroom suite at the Hilton Residences. A colleague who saw it said it was bigger than his flat

[Norton Canes]

Hated working in my office with everyone from my office. Then a big pandemic came along and I worked from home for 15 months and counting (three of those on furlough).

[TrenterPercenter]

Once, I was up all night to get lucky.


Sound of the summer etc....

[thelittlemango]

Once, I was up all night to get lucky.


Sound of the summer etc....

That's a Limmy reference.

[TrenterPercenter]

That's a Limmy reference.

What's a Limmy?

[thelittlemango]

What's a Limmy?

The 'Limdog Millionaire' as he's known in parts of Glasgow, also known for having 'horns' in place of hands.

[Schmo Diddley]

I worked for a fencing contractor in the Northern Territory for a couple of months when I was a younger man. Saw a handwritten advert in a Darwin hostel for a labouring job, gave him a call and a day later was waiting in a service station in the back of beyond for about six hours for someone to pick me up.

It was dark when my ride pulled up and we drove for about an hour off-road before getting to a caravan in some clearing. We slept outside (separately) on iron bedframes under the Milky Way, campfire, free beer, a fridge full of ham legs, roast chickens, job lot. I've never eaten as well and it was cooked in tinfoil under the campfire.

It was really hard work in blazing heat but a brilliant experience. Topped off by the ranch owner appearing one day in his helicopter asking if we wanted to go fishing. He took me for a spin round a bit of his ranch, which was about the size of wales. The land was really arid but a hundred metres up it looked so different, there were wetlands and a river nearby so lots of green. Herds of wild horses galloping, hundreds of buffalo in the mud, wild board fighting in a clearing.

When we landed to go fishing a local lad walked past with a barramundi that must've been four foot long. I caught fuck all.

I left a few weeks later having saved up about ten grand. The rainy season arrived one night and my al fresco bedframe was absolutely lashed, the rain coming in sideways and lightning going off everywhere.

[TrenterPercenter]

The 'Limdog Millionaire' as he's known in parts of Glasgow, also known for having 'horns' in place of hands.

[The Mollusk]

Was living in Derby

Wrong thread mate but fuckinell my condolences all the same

[The Mollusk]

When I moved to London a decade ago (with no decent qualifications professionally or academically) I spent about 2 years working wretched bar jobs for almost minimum wage. Our tenancy ended in the big rancid 5 bed flat I was occupying and I didn't have any money to secure another place. Fortunately a friend agreed to let me live rent free in her spare room for 6 months while I squandered my time being extremely depressed and unable to even land a job interview (guys, please never list your work experience on your CV in ascending order, fucking hell).

Eventually I got a job in a pub in south west London and proceeded to spend the next year commuting there from far north east London (it's really fucking far) and eventually north London once I could afford to move. The job was garbage, I felt like I was going nowhere and I was desperately miserable. I was in my late 20s and I was earning fuck all and getting night buses home at 2am after 12 hour shifts. I wanted to die.

One day I got chatting to one of the regulars who said I looked like I hated my life and offered me the chance to work for him as a property inspector. I didn't need any qualifications, just a couple weeks of training. Fuck it, what have I got to lose?

The job was insanely busy in the summer months but the commission was bonkers. One month I remember earning £3.2k and I was fucking giddy, that same week I booked a trip for myself and then-partner to stay in Reykjavik for a week and then on to New York and eventually Colorado where I got a VIP ticket to see Ween play their reunion shows. I remember standing in the front row of an 8000 capacity venue, mere metres away from my biggest musical heroes playing some of my favourite songs ever written, stoned off my absolute gourd on legal weed, and thinking "fuck me, I'm quite lucky to be here!"

For better or worse I'm still in that line of work. The pay is still decent, though I don't work for the same bloke any more as it turns out he's an exploitative cunt who completely U-turned from calling me his best employee to treating me like dirt during one particularly dry work period, but I still have him to thank for where I am now. I dread to think what would have happened if I'd never met him. That one chance occasion changed my life enormously.

[Paul Calf]

Many years ago in the early 1990s - 1991 I think - I managed to secure a room after a few months of homelessness. I hadn't been sleeping rough, just sofa-surfing with the odd night in a bed no-one was using.

In my first night in my own bed, as I put out the roach of a long, powerful joint I stared at the naked lightbulb (I wasn't fucking made of money) and realised that I was too fucked to go to the light switch. But the light was bothering me. It was a real dilemma.

As I ruminated on the bind in which I'd found myself, the bulb burnt out with a tiny 'plick' and the room was wreathed in darkness.

I rolled onto my side and fell into a contented sleep, undoubtedly the luckiest man in all of North Yorkshire.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Myself and my colleague once got driven from Heathrow Airport to The Leys School in Cambridge in a cream coloured Rolls Royce.A lovely Summer evening, it was. 2004, I think. Possibly 2005.


And don't t forget those fit birds I've banged.

[JaDanketies]

We recently got a piano off Facebook marketplace for free.

Once me and this woman went to see Cirque du Soleil and I got the cheapest seats possible, which weren't even next to each other. At the intermission we met up and decided to take our chances in the most expensive seats, which hadn't sold out. Watched the second half of the show with the same view that the Queen must have when she sees Cirque du Soleil.

Jobswise though it was all fucking shit until two years ago and now I feel very lucky that it is no longer fucking shit. I can't even think of a single highlight in all them years. Once I was doing the fake self employed thing and my client (really my employer) hosted some Christmas party and got literally everyone except for me a present, presumably they got one for everyone on the payroll. Actually though that party was the first time an attractive and interesting woman had given me the time of day for years and might've helped convince me to dump my shithead ex, which was retrospectively better than any present they could've given me

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

came back from a work errand right before my now partner, on holiday from the other side of the world, walked in so that was great.

[Rizla]

Once, I was up all night to get lucky.

They were just playing that on radio 2, first time i've heard it in well over a year. Fucking atrocious single. Unbelievably poor. Embarrassing. To think people bought that and thought it was good.

[JaDanketies]

They were just playing that on radio 2, first time i've heard it in well over a year. Fucking atrocious single. Unbelievably poor. Embarrassing. To think people bought that and thought it was good.

Daft Punk and latter-day Pharrell Williams are a match made in Hell.

[seepage]

Got my partner to backup their documents only the day before they destroyed their laptop with tomato cup-a-soup. Thought the docs folder would be being synced to a network drive but that wasn't the case.

[thenoise]

Yeah but have you ever got lucky?

I once forgot my packed lunch AND my wallet, but I found an unopened Nutrigrain bar on my usual lunch bench anyway. Yum! Didn't even have to make supper when I got home as my packed lunch was in the fridge (I was one of those insufferable cunts who made it the night before). That more your level??

[kngen]

Found out that the long-delayed (by about 9 months) response to extending my three-month Aussie work visa came back as a 'Nah, get fucked, mate. You should have been gone months ago' and was given 7 days to leave the country. Was about to be evicted from my shitty flat in Sydney, too. Went to my local and put the last of my money in the pokies (I think you'd get a free beer or two if you gambled enough, in those days, otherwise I'd have just got pished), and, after two or three spins, won the house jackpot. Bloke next to me said: 'Nice one. Looks like you've won a couple of hundred bucks.' Fuck, I thought to myself, that might just be enough to rent a room in a hostel for a week while I sell my guitar, stereo etc to raise enough money to leave the country.

Then the cashier lady came around with a form for me to sign - 'That's a nice win for you, love' - Yeah, couple of hundred bucks? 'No, this is the super-accumulator jackpot. You've won $878.93! (or something in that region)'

With my pockets stuffed with cash, I took the long way back to my flat to get a couple of beers to celebrate at home and saw - in a travel agent's window - a handwritten sign amid all the glossy pictures of Thailand and Indonesia. 'Special - one-way ticket to UK, British Airways, $400' - this was less than half what they usually were, even in the late 90s. So I walked in, threw a wad of 50s down and booked a flight for two days' time. Then spent the rest of my winnings getting steamboats with my Aussie friends.

Thirty-six hours after leaving Sydney, I was sat in Maryhill dole office waiting to get a crisis loan. But I think even that was better than what depths I could have plumbed had that deus ex machina pokie win and then chancing upon a bargain flight not taken place.