Pun Lovers Gift

[flotemysost]

Why did a lorry driver crash on the A14 on Tuesday?
He was attempting tomato himself.

What did the police say to the driver when investigating his records?
We can see that you're ragu'd driver!!!

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Did he gnocci where he was going?
Now there's sauce on all in sundry.

[Icehaven]

It takes all and sundried.

[Hand Solo]

The driver was suffering from ROAD RAGU¡!!!!!!!!¡

[Better Midlands]

The driver was suffering from ROAD RAGU¡!!!!!!!!¡

He must have felt a right PLUMB 🤪

[Mr Banlon]

Road closed for long period

[Hand Solo]

Perhaps after the accident the driver started angrily beating his vehicle with a branch like BASIL from THE FAWLTY TOWERS hahaha because they put that in sauce too don't they!!!!

[Video Game Fan 2000]

[driver breaking his spine in horrific road accident] Tomat-OW!

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Tell my widow I loved puns.

[Dr Rock]

The driver, despite his earlier lust for life, is now sadly a vegetable. [nb]
https://www.britannica.com/story/is-a-tomato-a-fruit-or-a-vegetable#:

Tomatoes are fruits that are considered vegetables by nutritionists. Botanically, a fruit is a ripened flower ovary and contains seeds. Tomatoes, plums, zucchinis, and melons are all edible fruits, but things like maple "helicopters" and floating dandelion puffs are fruits too. For some reason, people got hung up on tomatoes, but the "fruit or vegetable" question could also work for any vegetable with seeds.

Now, nutritionally, the term "fruit" is used to describe sweet and fleshy botanical fruits, and "vegetable" is used to indicate a wide variety of plant parts that are not so high in fructose. In many cultures, vegetables tend to be served as part of the main dish or side, whereas sweet fruits are typically snacks or desserts. Thus, roots, tubers, stems, flower buds, leaves, and certain botanical fruits, including green beans, pumpkins, and of course tomatoes, are all considered vegetables by nutritionists. There is no hard-and-fast rule that clearly designates a botanical fruit as a vegetable, but, given that tomatoes are generally not used in desserts and are closely related to other fruit-vegetables (e.g., eggplants and peppers), it is not too counterintuitive for tomatoes to be classified as vegetables.[/nb]

[Steven88]

Did the truck get TOMATOWED away?

[Hand Solo]

Apparently the CRIMSON COLOURED HAULAGE VEHICLE carrying the tomato-based cooking product crashed into an AMBER HUED FREIGHT TRUCK carrying a mustard-based condiment coming the other way.

Witnesses asked to make a statement were not forthcoming.

[Captain Z]

You might even say that a lorry crashed, spilling tomato puree all over the road.

[bomb_dog]

Wonder if the driver has crossed the channel from the condiment?

[flotemysost]

Looters arriving at the scene were in a plum position to cherry-pick their choice of heirlooms.

Not a pun, but how fucking hardcore looking is this variety, which goes by the rather erotic name of Kumato:



A spillage of these bad boys would be pure Gothic drama (also, puns about mopping up cum)

[steve98]

A Health & Safety officer offered advice to anyone transporting tomatoes (or other soft-fruit) this Summer: "Keep them in a punnet". Adding "'If you'll excuse the pun."

[zomgmouse]

one witness was a............ Black Russian (type of tomato)

[Video Game Fan 2000]

"Warrghhgh harrr harr harr harr" - Captain Beefsteak Tomato, sole eye witness.

[zomgmouse]

"I seed it with my own eyes"

[Dr Rock]

The driver said that because of this he would be 'in the shit'. (Where tomatoes grow)

[Icehaven]

Apparently the remaining Chuckle Brother drove past and shouted "tomato you".

[zomgmouse]

Apparently the remaining Chuckle Brother drove past and shouted "tomato you".

Joe Dolce was also heard to remark "What's tomato you... passata you face"

[Glebe]

The police put traffic cones around the spill, but some joker took off with one!

[kittens]

one could almost have perhaps said upon this circumstance that in their opinion and of course as a matter of hard fact that when it comes down to it and at the end of the day the ultimate result of this unfortunate and lamentable situation was that a vast quantity of tomato-based paste got absolutely everywhere or, at least, covered a fairly large section of road before being cordoned off and presumably cleaned up by the relevant public services.

[zomgmouse]

this has really broken my truss

[Dex Sawash]

The accident site is a toucan crossing.(#2 can is a common size for foods such as tomatoes)

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Apparently the remaining Chuckle Brother drove past and shouted "tomato you".

I heard the fictional character Victor Meldrew drove past and shouted "I don't believe it!" because his wife Margeret made a very apt pun about tomato sauce when she saw it.

[Captain Z]

That's another vine tomatoes mess you've gotten us into.

[Petey Pate]

Making jokes about this event really is low hanging fruit.

[Glebe]