Author Topic: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.  (Read 11734 times)

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #90 on: June 04, 2021, 10:52:24 PM »
This isn't a joke exactly, but the bit in "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment" where the dodgy cable guy waltzes into the house with a stolen car radio, explains "Your door wasn't locked in any serious way", and murmurs "even better" after Homer lets slip that Ned isn't home gives me PIF vibes.


Myth: Cable piracy is wrong.
Fact: Cable companies are big faceless corporations, which makes it okay.

Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #91 on: June 04, 2021, 10:55:17 PM »
You can't even laugh at a person saluting a backwards flushing toilet without being arrested and thrown in jail.





Lovely stuff.

Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #92 on: June 04, 2021, 10:56:20 PM »


"This is even more painful than it looks"

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #93 on: June 04, 2021, 11:01:28 PM »


See all that stuff in there, Homer? That's why your robot never worked.

Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #94 on: June 04, 2021, 11:15:34 PM »

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #95 on: June 04, 2021, 11:21:33 PM »

Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #96 on: June 04, 2021, 11:40:18 PM »
Put it in H!

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #97 on: June 04, 2021, 11:48:49 PM »

Moltar

  • dee dee dee dee dee dee
Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #98 on: June 04, 2021, 11:52:57 PM »
I may regret this when our air runs out and we can't whistle or stay alive, but oh what the hay

Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #99 on: June 05, 2021, 12:15:11 AM »
The films they show in school are great, I love the zinc one especially

'You said you wanted to live in a worled without zinc, Jimmy'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1iCZpFMYd0

The Radioactive Man movie episode has so many great gags. I'm a massive fan of the crap re-edit of the film, and the subsequent exchange:

'You're Fired'
'And with good cause!'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U58IdBjMeS4

Harpo Speaks

  • Will Breev 4 Food
Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #100 on: June 05, 2021, 12:39:26 AM »
So that's it after 20 years, "so long, good luck"?

I don't recall saying good luck.


Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #101 on: June 05, 2021, 12:41:30 AM »
Mono... d'oh!

Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #102 on: June 05, 2021, 12:45:36 AM »
So that's it after 20 years, "so long, good luck"?

I don't recall saying good luck.

Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #103 on: June 05, 2021, 01:03:00 AM »
The rabbit being flicked miles away by the snare trap.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

  • Living proof of everything wrong with the world
Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #104 on: June 05, 2021, 01:08:35 AM »
Mr. Burns handling Homer's loan from the nuclear plant credit union so that he can buy Lisa a pony.

"Now, are you familiar with our state's strict usury laws?"

"You-zur-ee?"

"Oh, silly me! I must have just made up a word that doesn't exist. ...Now, sign here, and the money will be yours..." (maniacal laughter) "Sorry, I was just thinking of something funny Smithers did this morning."

"I didn't do anything funny, sir."

"Shut. Up."

FerriswheelBueller

  • CaB rear of the year 2020
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Take it easy, but take it.
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #105 on: June 05, 2021, 01:14:30 AM »
The police radio report of Burns driving a maroon 1924 Stutz Bearcat, and him visibly driving past Wiggum (replete with old timey driving goggles) only for Springfield’s police chief to query whether it was “really more of a burgundy”.

Something about that makes me chuckle every time.

Blumf

  • Not long now
    • IGNORE ME!!!
Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #106 on: June 05, 2021, 01:26:05 AM »
"I didn't do anything funny, sir."

"Shut. Up."

Reminds me of the Stone Cutter episode where Lenny keeps on letting secrets slip whilst Carl keeps on telling him to "Shuuut up", eventually even Homer picks up on it and tells Lenny to shut up too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sX_sE31r9Q

Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #107 on: June 05, 2021, 01:32:45 AM »

The Mollusk

  • Like icicles falling through my head
Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #108 on: June 05, 2021, 06:52:25 AM »


Also the withered “euuhuhgughh” noise Burns makes when the bomb goes off never fails to crack me up. He’s my favourite character without a doubt.

Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #109 on: June 05, 2021, 07:10:47 AM »
"MY EYES! THE GOGGLES, ZEY DO NUTHING!"

I love the cap to that scene too, with a spoiled, pampered Krusty wading into the scene of utter chaos. "Hey! Where's the producer? I want to talk about. This. Coffee."

kalowski

  • Maclunkey
Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #110 on: June 05, 2021, 07:41:29 AM »
"Heh, Homer's singing to his ball again."
"Yeah, and his bowling a 280!"
"There's a kind of hush, all over the world, tonight..."

Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #111 on: June 05, 2021, 08:01:22 AM »
(three children are shouting and irritating their father while he is driving the family car)
Children's Angry Dad: If YOU kids CAN'T keep your hands to yourself, I'm gonna TURN THIS CAR AROUND, AND THERE WILL BE NO CAPE CANAVERAL FOR ANYBODY!!!
(kids go quiet; Nelson slaps the man's head from Bart's car without the father observing it)
Children's Dad: THAT'S IT! BACK TO WINNIPEG!
(he turns the car around)
Only recently did I actually get the joke fully.  Because Winnipeg is literally days away from Florida.  Also any excuse to post this absolute banger of a tune.

Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #112 on: June 05, 2021, 08:02:29 AM »
Me need money now me sick
Oh his card red good
So give me money Mr Burns
It's curns stupid

dead-ced-dead

  • My legs hurt
Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #113 on: June 05, 2021, 08:54:28 AM »

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

  • Living proof of everything wrong with the world
Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #114 on: June 05, 2021, 09:59:02 AM »
"Well McGarnagle, Billy is dead! They slit his throat from ear to ear!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pjqc1hqbRmA

kalowski

  • Maclunkey
Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #115 on: June 05, 2021, 10:08:06 AM »
Men-do-zah!!!!

Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #116 on: June 05, 2021, 10:13:50 AM »
"Moe, gimmie a beer!"
"No, first you gotta kill your family".
"Why should I kill my family?"
"Ehhh...they'd be happier as ghosts".
"You don't look so happy".
"Oh I'm VERY happy! La la la la la! See? Now waste your family and I'll give you a beer!"


kalowski

  • Maclunkey
Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #117 on: June 05, 2021, 10:40:37 AM »
Men-do-zah!!!!
Just quoting myself because there's so much gold in the McBain sections:
"Little Suzie's growing up."
The boat: The live forever.
"I'm thinking about another meeting. In bed."

FerriswheelBueller

  • CaB rear of the year 2020
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Take it easy, but take it.
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #118 on: June 05, 2021, 10:42:37 AM »
Start to finish of Kamp Krusty.

mikeyg27

  • That's one way of doing it.
Re: Best jokes in classic Simpsons.
« Reply #119 on: June 05, 2021, 10:47:12 AM »


And of course Moe's follow-up "Who would've thought a whale could be so heavy?"

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