Man finds GIGANTIC seven-inch long oven chip!!!

[Dr Rock]

It'd be very easy to fabricate a gigantic chip from 2 (or more) normal chips, and  become an internet sensation like old Oliver

My thoughts exactly. Oliver - if that is his real name - is a fraudster and a time-waster and should be chemically castrated.

[JamesTC]

My thoughts exactly. Oliver - if that is his real name - is a fraudster and a time-waster and should be chemically castrated.

He's 77. A frozen chip is the only long hard thing in his home.

[Dr Rock]

He claims to be 77. He may well be in his mid-30s.

[JamesTC]

Possible. He does claim to be in possession of the Holy Grail (chips).

[Glebe]

I reckon Gigantic Chip Man is related to Jan 'Helichocter' Jansen... the pair should get together and create a giant 'chocolate chip'!

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Elder Scrolls 6 teaser. "So...you're awake. Those carab eating Remainiacs have the place surrounded, you got hit with a rucksack full of diabetes medication and it knocked you clean out. Take this bucket of chocolate and pallet knife, get to layering the milk chocolate panel beneath the cockpit. We're going to fly the chococopter over the border at dawn"

[Glebe]

Don't mean to be crude, but maybe it's Mr. Chips' cock?

[madhair60]

the way that the unsolved catchphrases obscure the animation make it look like Mr Chips is pulling himself off

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

the way that the unsolved catchphrases obscure the animation make it look like Mr Chips is pulling himself off

Good spot.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Feels like the gigantic seven inch long oven chip needs a name: Gavin

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Good spot.

Wow. I thought everyone was laughing because robots aren't meant to wear top hats.
-I Asimov aged 9 1/2

[JamesTC]

After looking through further headlines from the journalist who posted the follow-up story, here are some stories from the original journalist:

Pub apologises after toddler is served her meal with extra hot sauce

Cat had to be rescued by removing bricks after it got stuck inside garage wall

Naked man burst into family home at 3am 'like he was in The Shining'

Wetherspoons drinker waited two hours for pint of Carlsberg shandy and soda and lime

Burglar broke into home and stole collection of Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z cards

Angry couple demand apology from school after greasy gate stained their coats



'I am upset and angry because they were perfectly good coats until this happened.'

Escaped cow which knocked over Tesco shopper rammed over by police car

Meghan and Harry's neighbour warns of bear on chicken-killing rampage

'Four lads in jeans' are selling original meme for £1,000,000

There is something rather sad about this guy. You can see he starts out with rather serious stories with just the very rare silly story. As time goes on you see more and more puff pieces and less and less serious journalism. I feel bad for him. He doesn't want to be writing about big chips and greasy coats.

[Captain Z]

Can't get the image of a cow being "rammed over" out of my head.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I wonder how Gavin is doing. Have they permanently defrosted him or do they put him back in the freezer so he is 'fresh' for the next day's well wishers?

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Ideally they should pickle Gavin or put him in formaldehyde, so future generations can marvel at this big fuckin chip, like.

[steve98]

I wonder how Gavin is doing. Have they permanently defrosted him or do they put him back in the freezer so he is 'fresh' for the next day's well wishers?

I gather it (the chip) is now permanently frozen (After its brief moment of fame)

QUOTE (From Oliver):

'I'm never going to eat it. I keep it in its own little space in the top shelf of the freezer. It's a prized possession now.'

[Dr Rock]

I wonder how much he's raised for charity already!

[imitationleather]

Imagine inheriting a frozen chip.

Bah. That's the future that would have awaited my kids if I'd not lost the fucker when I moved to Newcastle.

[touchingcloth]

I found Oliver's number on Yell and phoned him to call him a long chip twat. He wept.

[JamesTC]

Imagine if the story was "Man finds phone the same size as chip"

[Sebastian Cobb]

Looks like an ancient Dave Johns.

[Gurke and Hare]

the way that the unsolved catchphrases obscure the animation make it look like Mr Chips is pulling himself off

You said what you saw!

Imagine inheriting a frozen chip.

Bah. That's the future that would have awaited my kids if I'd not lost the fucker when I moved to Newcastle.

Well, you only saved them from having to worry about the hated death tax - a chip that size would have pushed the estate well over the threshold.

[steve98]

Imagine the headline was: Giant-Chip Man Oliver(77) Promises To Be "The New Captain Tom" (More inside)

[Ferris]

After looking through further headlines from the journalist who posted the follow-up story, here are some stories from the original journalist:


There is something rather sad about this guy. You can see he starts out with rather serious stories with just the very rare silly story. As time goes on you see more and more puff pieces and less and less serious journalism. I feel bad for him. He doesn't want to be writing about big chips and greasy coats.

Impressively bleak.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

He could have written into That's Life! and told them he'd found a big chip that looked just like his penis, and he'd taught it to say "sausages", then Esther Rantzen could come to his house and verify the claim.
Sadly That's Life! isn't on anymore, so this is all hypothetical.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Thought about how Gavin is doing this morning, there in his frozen prison just for being lanky.

[Glebe]

The new Ron and Ann?

Popeye is real or Bob Hope is still alive! "Oh me gosh Olive, say fellas I gotta tell yah!

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

Chip finds GIGANTIC seven-inch long TWAT!

[Fambo Number Mive]

Read the toddler and hot sauce story. I love how the pub gave the family a £20 voucher, I hope it wasnt just for that pub because you wouldn't want to go back there after something like that would you?

[Glebe]