Author Topic: Welcome Home, Colin!  (Read 2567 times)

Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #30 on: June 07, 2021, 09:21:42 PM »
I suggest he changes his name to Ian Pitchfork.

I bet he can't wait to see the rest of Only Fools and Horses. Don't tell him how it ends!

Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #31 on: June 07, 2021, 09:23:42 PM »
Colin Pilchard would be a nice unobtrusive name for his new identity.

He can call himself whatever he likes, he'll still have his dead giveaway Betty Davis-type eyes. Can't hide them.




Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #32 on: June 07, 2021, 09:32:48 PM »
He can call himself whatever he likes, he'll still have his dead giveaway Betty Davis-type eyes. Can't hide them.




He looks like he's pouting at the camera.

Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #33 on: June 07, 2021, 09:33:10 PM »
Bugger. I was hoping it would be about the cakey caterpillar.

TrenterPercenter

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Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #34 on: June 07, 2021, 09:36:37 PM »
Bugger. I was hoping it would be about the cakey caterpillar.

Those cholesterol packed bad boys have killed more than 2 people over the years I'll bet.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

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Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #35 on: June 07, 2021, 09:42:55 PM »
Obligatory Derek and Clive:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=q3ROYnfK-ro

mothman

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Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #36 on: June 07, 2021, 10:18:46 PM »
Colin Allmusic

I reckon he’ll be easy to spot if I keep an eye out.

Echo Valley 2-6809

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Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #37 on: June 08, 2021, 02:21:48 AM »
It must be difficult explaining to someone who was in prison for 33 years how the world has changed. It will be hard to find him a job, even though he was a skilled sculptor of cake decorations according to Wikipedia.

He has been free to walk around in public on his own for some time - e.g being seen walking around Bristol city centre - not locked in a darkened room.

I highly doubt he will be able to go undetected with a new identity, but who fucking cares. He's a remorseless, manipulative psychopath who would almost certainly have gone on to beat and rape and murder other girls if it wasn't for Alec Jeffreys' work (an innocent man with learning difficulties was in prison charged with one of the murders, but exonerated when DNA evidence became available).

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Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #38 on: June 08, 2021, 05:42:03 AM »
Colin Pilchard would be a nice unobtrusive name for his new identity.

Colin Flaming-Torch.

Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #39 on: June 08, 2021, 08:58:17 AM »
If he lives for a thousand years and does loads of really good stuff, people will look back on his murders as just a blip in an otherwise faultless life.

Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #40 on: June 08, 2021, 09:05:42 AM »
If he lives for a thousand years and does loads of really good stuff, people will look back on his murders as just a blip in an otherwise faultless life.

Two blips. (And the thousand flashings prior to the murders (I don't know how many blips that equates to))

Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #41 on: June 08, 2021, 09:34:42 AM »
He's got his faults but apparently excellent at making cake decorations, that must have played into the minds of the people releasing him.

Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #42 on: June 08, 2021, 10:00:52 AM »
Hearing the BBC are to hire him to replace John Barrowman in Doctor Who.

Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #43 on: June 08, 2021, 10:04:31 AM »
He's got his faults but apparently excellent at making cake decorations, that must have played into the minds of the people releasing him.

Not so sure. My sources tell me he's not the cake decorator he was (pic). 30+ years inside takes its toll: it destroys all that's good and decent in a man.


Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #44 on: June 08, 2021, 10:19:38 AM »
Thing is, though, what's the point of prison then? Why not just kill murderers?

Exactly You can't be for rehabilitation in prison but then deny a prisoners release just because their crime is high profile. Let him be released, the victim's family aren't going to like it but then so would any other prisoner's victims or families. He'll probably have his new identity "leaked" to the press anyway.

Butchers Blind

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Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #45 on: June 08, 2021, 10:23:08 AM »
He's going to have to do some Armageddon world saving type shit to make up for this.

Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #46 on: June 08, 2021, 10:25:08 AM »
Maybe he could walk up and down his garden.

Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #47 on: June 08, 2021, 10:46:46 AM »
I never so a man so sad,
As The Icing Man that morn,
As he watched them throw away the key
And his icing tools - "All gorn...",

He wept, "They've chucked me tools!
Me icing tools, all gorn.
They've killed the very thing I love.
O I wish I'd been stillborn."



Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #48 on: June 08, 2021, 10:54:34 AM »
Not only did he kill two young girls, he’s also responsible for the 4.9/10 review for The Mars Volta’s first album. The man is a monster.

10 for the last Stranglers album though.

Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #49 on: June 08, 2021, 12:42:49 PM »
Both the Sun and the Mirror have reported he is now called David Thorpe.  I feel sorry for anyone of that name who looks a bit like him and has just moved to a new area.

Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #50 on: June 08, 2021, 02:25:54 PM »
They should have reported that he is now called David Cameron

Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #51 on: June 08, 2021, 06:46:21 PM »
Haven’t read all the way through the replies, are we going to be doing Lols about the two murdered girls later on and maybe their parents

Catalogue of ills

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Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #52 on: June 08, 2021, 06:48:55 PM »
I reckon he’ll be easy to spot if I keep an eye out.

Heh!

Butchers Blind

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Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #53 on: June 08, 2021, 07:04:10 PM »
Haven’t read all the way through the replies, are we going to be doing Lols about the two murdered girls later on and maybe their parents

You go first. Depending on the reaction, we may join in.

Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #54 on: June 08, 2021, 08:27:05 PM »
Haven’t read all the way through the replies, are we going to be doing Lols about the two murdered girls later on and maybe their parents

Probably best you skip this thread, just in case.

Catalogue of ills

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Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #55 on: June 08, 2021, 08:38:07 PM »




"Do I look like a murderer to you? Well DO I???"

Now you mention it Colin, now you mention it..

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Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #56 on: June 08, 2021, 08:38:24 PM »
Both the Sun and the Mirror have reported he is now called David Thorpe.  I feel sorry for anyone of that name who looks a bit like him and has just moved to a new area.

Why do papers report the new names of people like this? Is it purely to get the readers in, for plain old profit reasons? To generate a sense of community, with good old reliable newspapers sharing in a collective moral disgust? Or do the journalists and editors perhaps privately fancy the prospect of a street justice stairwell bashing?

Alternatively, charitably, it could be genuinely humane in (some of) its intentions (in addition to profit$), hoping to make his new neighbours aware of the bloke who's just moved in next door.

Zetetic

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Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #57 on: June 08, 2021, 08:42:28 PM »
Incredibly cheap as well, since you can just make up whatever name you like (or don't like).

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

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Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #58 on: June 08, 2021, 08:43:52 PM »
HA HA RELEASED MURDERER OF ...


....Oh, I just can't be arsed anymore.

Echo Valley 2-6809

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Re: Welcome Home, Colin!
« Reply #59 on: June 08, 2021, 08:50:48 PM »
Both the Sun and the Mirror have reported he is now called David Thorpe.  I feel sorry for anyone of that name who looks a bit like him and has just moved to a new area.

It was reported a long time ago that he'd changed his name to David Thorpe in prison.

I doubt that'll be his name now.

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