Author Topic: Only Fools and Horses  (Read 23095 times)

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #120 on: June 09, 2021, 09:12:17 AM »
Gutted that after 64 episodes over 22 years, we still never found out why only fools and horses work, a la la lala, ala la lalala, ala la lala, ala la lalala (repeat to fade).

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #121 on: June 09, 2021, 09:13:55 AM »
Only Fools and Horses special Lasagne.

Fambo Number Mive

  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • MAKE ROOM FOR THE MUSHROOMS
Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #122 on: June 09, 2021, 09:31:47 AM »
SLATER: Your name will go on ze list

DEL: Don't tell him, Rodney

RODNEY: Captain Del you stupid boy!


Bad Ambassador

  • Sit down, Mario!
Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #123 on: June 09, 2021, 09:53:54 AM »
Spinoff plan:

Hair Trigger
in which Trigger opens a hair salon

Series 2: Herr Trigger
in which he swaps places with Goebbels and now Goebbels is the hairdresser.

Fambo Number Mive

  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • MAKE ROOM FOR THE MUSHROOMS
Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #124 on: June 09, 2021, 10:12:54 AM »
Rodney was originally named because of his massive cock which would get torn off when he goes hang gliding and cause delays on the A44 when it lands on a lorry carrying pianos.

 However, Nicolas Lyndhurst found it hard to act as if he had a massive cock and so the cock torn of in the hang gliding scene was of normal size, making it easier for the storyline where a dog eats it thinking it is a sausage to be plausible.

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #125 on: June 09, 2021, 11:17:26 AM »
If you shift your fingers one key over to the right on a keyboard, Nicholas Lyndhurst's name becomes Movjp;sd :umfjitdy. To the left, it becomes BuxgikA kTBSGYEAR. Makes you think.

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #126 on: June 09, 2021, 11:18:57 AM »
Down, down, left, left, up, up, right, right while holding L2 + R2 and Rodney gets infinite health.

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #127 on: June 09, 2021, 11:23:25 AM »
Del drinks Rodders piss.

idunnosomename

  • FROG ON THE BIG WHEEL
Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #128 on: June 09, 2021, 11:27:46 AM »
Rodney! You've lost the news!

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #129 on: June 09, 2021, 11:29:29 AM »
One little Rodney, high on astroturf, cried all the dignity out of his brother's body. What a fuckin' disgrace.

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #130 on: June 09, 2021, 11:35:26 AM »
[Last scenes off Akira]

Rodney-Kun!

DEL BOY!!!

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #131 on: June 09, 2021, 11:43:22 AM »
if you stick 141BB87C 83D7018F in on the Action Replay it closes the bar flaps and turns all the scenery collisions on

Trigger is still scripted to make a face though

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #132 on: June 09, 2021, 11:50:24 AM »
[Sitar music] ♬No income tax, no VAT♬
SHAATTTTTT UUUUUPPPPP

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #133 on: June 09, 2021, 11:59:58 AM »
"Del, you can't do that to children!"
"Rodney you twat!"
"Me piles have burst Deeel!"

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #134 on: June 09, 2021, 12:02:40 PM »
We can't go to Margate on Shabbos, you tart!

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #135 on: June 09, 2021, 12:18:04 PM »
Who remembers Elton John performing a special version of Candle In The Wind at the end of Modern Men?

It seemed to me that you lived your life,
Like a foetus in the bin.
No womb lining to cling to,
When the pain set in.
And I would have liked to have known you,
But you never got to be a kid.
Your candle burned out long before
The Reliant Robin's engine did.

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #136 on: June 09, 2021, 12:22:15 PM »
Briefcase Plonker!!

Peckham market? Completed it mate.

Oooooooh, miscarriage!

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #137 on: June 09, 2021, 01:20:13 PM »
The Driscoll Brothers digging up Grandad's corpse and operating it as a ventriloquist dummy in the pub was the point I started to go off the show. Cassandra leading the standing ovation was a real kick in the teeth. She was asking for that miscarriage.

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #138 on: June 09, 2021, 01:23:32 PM »
Del Boy inducing miscarriages so he can sell the stem cells down the market was a line crossed.

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #139 on: June 09, 2021, 01:25:29 PM »
They're broken stem cells.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • Your sleep paralysis demon
Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #140 on: June 09, 2021, 01:31:11 PM »
Stick a pony in me pocket
I'll fetch the foetus from the van
Cause if you want the best 'uns
And you don't ask questions
Then brother I'm your man

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #141 on: June 09, 2021, 01:43:36 PM »
Rodders, what I am about to give you is the mausoleum of all human hopes and desire: it is excrutiatingly kushti that in the next episode we will use it for a sentimental yet hilarious montage where we achieve our dreams of being millionaires and Uncle Albert sinks a boat.

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #142 on: June 09, 2021, 01:51:04 PM »
You summoned us. We came. Del Boys to some. Rodneys to others. We’ll tear your guarantees apart.

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #143 on: June 09, 2021, 01:56:04 PM »
My instructor was Mr Sullivan, he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it, I can play it for you.

♬No.... income tax, no.... V...A....T♬

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #144 on: June 09, 2021, 02:11:37 PM »
Rodney sung the theme tune to Goodnight Sweetheart.

Catalogue Trousers

  • With tremendous protein value
Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #145 on: June 09, 2021, 02:17:52 PM »
I love the smell of hooky napalm down the market. Smells like...quick cash-in-hand profit.

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #146 on: June 09, 2021, 02:19:22 PM »
Goodnight Sweetheart was actually made using a real time machine. But it only worked going forward, so Rodney used to have to travel thirty years in the future where technology allowed for an accurate recreation of World War II London.

This is why Nicholas Lyndhurst is aged 61 years between 1990 and 2005.

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #147 on: June 09, 2021, 02:30:03 PM »
Rodney starred with Janet Dibley in The Two Of Us, the ITV sitcom about a co-habiting couple who couldn't be arsed with getting married. The last episode saw Dibley's character Elaine take a pregnancy test, but viewers never got to see the result.

Writer Alex Shearer later revealed that Elaine was, in fact, pregnant and carried the baby for three months before suffering, in inimitable Rodney style, a miscarriage. What a plonker!

Also, Rodney sang the theme tune.

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #148 on: June 09, 2021, 02:35:46 PM »

"....astro turf...."

Re: Only Fools and Horses
« Reply #149 on: June 09, 2021, 02:44:18 PM »
Shut up, cunt. You louse Rodney. You got some fuckin' neck ain't you. Retired? Fuck off, you're revolting. Look at your skin, it's milk, it's like semolina man, your skin. We could make a fucking breakfast out of you. Like a porridge, thin gruel, lanky bastard. You look like fucking Stephen Merchant, you know what I mean? Stay here? You should be ashamed of yourself. Who do you think you are? King of Peckham? Cock of the walk? Plonker cunt.

Tags: