Only Fools and Horses

[Huxleys Babkins]

"Watch out for the Shaq Attack!"

*throws ball hard at Cassandra's belly*

"I told you to watch out."

[Video Game Fan 2000]

I have genuine rage at the miscarriage episode.

27th of December! The audience reaction to Del punching a man in a hospital. Turban jokes!

[JamesTC]

Rodney: Del, those hooky lawn mowers you sold to the council?
Del Boy: Yes, Rodders?
Rodney: Do they catch the grass after they cut it or do they just leave it behind?
Del Boy: Does it matter, Rodders? You would have to be a complete plonker to complain about grass being left behind!

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Geordi and Data doing A Touch Of Glass as part of their tour of classical literature.

Picard walks in right under the chandelier and they have to take him to sick bay dressed as Del Boy and Rodney.

[franticplanet]

Del buying a job lot of Tribbles which soon completely take over the flat, and the only way to hide them before Raquel comes round is to push the lot right up Uncle Albert's arse. In the end, they start poking them in with Trigger's broom, with Del kicking it as hard as he can to get them all up. A few years later, Albert trips up the stairs at the comedy awards, and the shock incites every last one of them to suddenly come pouring out of his anus, knocking over the drinks of the May to December table near the front.

[frajer]

Who can forget the one where Del Boy woos that widow to find her outlaw husband's loot and then spends days hunting her children across West Virginia. Best Christmas special ever.

[Leej88]

The trouble with Trotters

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Geordi does a shift of 70 hours straight and with all the pressure he's under he momentarily forgets he's not playing Del Boy on the Holodeck. He approaches the real Leah Brahms "alright sweetheart, get 'em out!"

[Fambo Number Mive]

Del Boy and Rodney realise they are in the Windows 95 version of the Matrix. They opt to stay there after Morqueus tells them there are no brown ales outside of the Matrix.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

for me Del Boy and the cop he thinks is a stripper ranks pretty high on the list of things seen as a kid that made you think "this ain't right"

[JamesTC]

Bit creepy when Rodney had to pretend to be a 14-year-old girl and go to an all-girl's school for a year after Del submitted his painting to a competition but Rodney's name was smudged so it looked like it was René.

[Jockice]

only fools and coach tours is one of the funniest things Ive seen on the internet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4nZjQLGu94

i suppose i ought to save this in case they delete it really

I like the way the coach blows up at the end.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Best part of the Jolly Boys Outing is when Rodney eats a curry on the coach thats so hot he instantly has explosive diarrhea and just keeps shitting and shitting. Everyone tries to rush off the bus but all the doors are locked and Rodney's still blowing arse water at full pressure so they start panicking and realise they can't smash any of the windows either. Boycie has a gun but only one bullet which he saves for himself. The last thing you hear is "Rodney you Pl-bllhprghgalarghgarble" as they all drown in a sealed container of bum juice. Excellent mournful version of the credits music sung by Tom Waits at the end.

[markburgle]

When Rodders was radicalised by Mickey Pierce into joining the NF and they try to curry favour by organising a Klan style rally outside Denzil's house but nobody turns up except them, and Del swans past in the Reliant Regal and yells 'I told you not use the phrase "curry favour" with them skinhead lads youuu WALLY' and that iconic drum intro kicks in

[vainsharpdad]

The one where Rodney accidentally bums Trigger, so Uncle Albert has to get Cassandra pregnant instead.

[The Mollusk]

Remember the one where Rodney crashes his moped on Peckham Rye and when he wakes up he's in a government facility with scientists trying to harness his newfound telekinetic powers? All the way through there's talk of this character GRANDADKIRA who was the original vessel for all this stuff but at the end you discover all that remains of him are a load of cut crystal chandelier beads containing his source codes and DNA.

Meanwhile Del Boy is tear-arsing it round London in his souped-up bright red Reliant Robin trying to figure out what the bleeding hell is going on, but by the time he finds Rodney at West Ham Olympic Stadium it's too late. Rodney has begun to merge with the infinite and cannot control his growth. He has become engorged and swollen thousands of times his original size and is a grotesque monstrous abomination. Cassandra tries to flee but tendrils of the giant Rodney ensnare her and suck her into his mass. She struggles but cannot escape, and she is crushed to a pulp, as is her unborn child.

I'll never forget this classic exchange when Del and Rodney are squabbling in the stadium:

Del Boy: "Rodders look what you've bleedin done you wally! Your arm looks like that box of dodgy electric tie racks after Albert dropped it down the stairs! Get down from that pile of rubble before you really make a tit of yourself!"

Rodney: "You've been telling me what to do since we were bladdy kids! Well I ain't a kid no more Del!!"

And then Rodney's arm launches out 300ft long and obliterates a nearby Trigger who innocently thought they were going to the stadium to see Live Aid.

[non capisco]

My favourite episode is that weird one that I saw when I woke up in front of the telly on 7th September 1984 at 3am and it was just ten minutes of Uncle Albert peeking out of a well. Then my phone rang and it was Mickey Pearce telling me I only had a week left on my tax disc.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Remember that one where Del had an acute nervous breakdown and tried to fuck a stolen Betamax recorder? Lol.

[kalowski]

Remember when Del spent all that time in the Peckham Travel Tavern? My favourite line?

"I have to say 'The Best of Monkey Harris'"

[H-O-W-L]

Remember the one where Del tried to manipulate the Lodge and collapsed all known realities?

[Fambo Number Mive]

The episode where Boycie and Marlene ate the same plate of spaghetti while fingering each other was a classic.

[Captain Z]

There's Rodney... Dave! ...Dave! ...Dave!  ...Dave! ...Dave! Dave! Dave! Dave! Dave! DAVE! DAVE! DAVE! No, he's not seen me, I'll get him later. DAAAAAVE!

[frajer]

Shat me right up when Del Boy went to sleep that time and the nonce Mickey Pearce who they'd burned to death years ago killed him in his dreams.

[Fambo Number Mive]

I liked it when Bill Nye the Science Guy appeared as himself and explained to the Trotters how the seasons change and why there are tides in the sea.

[kalowski]

Remember when Del Boy had that old watch in his garage and it went to auction and sold for millions, and Del Boy fainted, and then they had all that money and that gang broke in to their house and cut off every one of Rodney's fingers until they gave up the cash and valuables and then they slit Uncle Albert's throat as a warning not to go to the police.
Triffic.

[markburgle]

That was same one where Uncle Albert pours coffee on everyone's dinner instead of gravy and Del goes "You fucking idiot Albert, you total fucking idiot, that was your job you fucking moron! You cretin! You're a fuckhead! A complete and total fuckhead!" And then Raquel's dad tells Del to put a muzzle on his woman. Really lovely memories

[kalowski]

That was same one where Uncle Albert pours coffee on everyone's dinner instead of gravy and Del goes "You fucking idiot Albert, you total fucking idiot, that was your job you fucking moron! You cretin! You're a fuckhead! A complete and total fuckhead!" And then Raquel's dad tells Del to put a muzzle on his woman. Really lovely memories

Yes! Mike from the Nag's Head shot Trigger in the foot. Later in Trigger said, "Go fuck yourself, Mike" and Mike shot him dead.

[franticplanet]

Albert sobbing and panicking and begging for help when he goes for a shit and all his organs fall out of his arse.

[JamesTC]

It was clear that they were running out of ideas when the tram hit the Nag's Head.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

The episode where they sold the job lot of faulty bear traps and they get used as toilet seats down the Nags Head was a shark jumping moment for me.