Only Fools and Horses

[frajer]

The episode ends with Rodney singing that "we're so sorry Uncle Albert" song.

Stick this apology in your pocket
I'll bring my regrets from the van

[Huxleys Babkins]

Remember Only Fools and Horses on Ice? Nicholas Lyndhurst was "the Dean of Peckham", according to the Independent.

Remember going to see it and Uncle Albert doing his classic face plant in front of Jonathan Ross and Sacha Distel before staggering back up and tearfully saying the word "comedy". Not a dry eye in the house.

Tried to buy an Emperor burger during the intermission, but they only had Revels.

[mrClaypole]

Got pretty dark in the episode where they find out Uncle Albert never actually fought in the war and they force him to go and live dahn Tabaccah Road. By the time they find him he's dead and buried with only his famous beard lying on the gravestone. The episode ends with Rodney singing that "we're so sorry Uncle Albert" song.

It wasn't Rodney singing it was Dennis Waterman who also wrote the song with his brother in law "Kenny"

[Ron Maels Moustache]

Does anyone remember when, without any preceding explanation, Rodney was replaced with Rodney Bewes? But instead of behaving like the normal Rodney, Bewes behaviour on-screen gave the impression of a man in the grip of advanced paranoid psychosis - instead of the usual dialogue, when other characters addressed him he would just howl in fear, run frantically around the set or try to attack them. Despite this the episodes he appeared in just carried on as usual as if nothing untoward was going on, with none of the other actors acknowledging Bewes erratic presence.

One memorable moment occurred at the end of a scene in the flat when the other cast had all left, leaving Bewes alone staring into the camera. Instead of cutting to the next scene, the camera stayed on Bewes, with agonising slowness gradually zooming in on as he silently mouthed the words "help me," over and over again. Really odd.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Rodney sang the music for the News At Ten.

[frajer]

Saw a clip show the other night with a bit of a rarity, it had the outtake where Del missed his mark (apparently a cameraman was in the wrong spot) and reversed the Reliant up Albert's anus. For 8 weeks Buster Merryfield had to apply for a parking permit every time he took a shit.

[H-O-W-L]

Del stretches his arms aloft, goatsblood dripping between his fingers.
CHUT'EME CH'TEME TUTAMET INFERIS EX MORTIS XOMBIE L'OREAL!
He cries it toward the heavens, which split asunder, and rend forth the horsemen of Death.
I'm going to kill you, Trotter!
Screams Rodney.
Albert's screams are unheard.
A Tartarus awakes on Earth.
Man is lost to blight.
The light is fading.
The light is fading.
The light is fa

[H-O-W-L]

A cybernetic golem stretches forward from the darkness. Rodney recoils in fright.
"ＤＵＲＩＮＧ－ＴＨＥ－ＷＡＲ"
"No." he rasps, hearing the metallic footsteps encroach. "It cannot be."
"ＤＵＲＩＮＧ－ＴＨＥ－ＷＡＲ" it repeats.
It is monotone. Dead. The croak of a dead man.
"ＤＵＲＩＮＧ－ＴＨＥ－ＷＡＲ"
Rodney trips.
"ＤＵＲＩＮＧ－ＴＨＥ－ＷＡＲ"
He loses his footing. His back meets concrete.
"ＤＵＲＩＮＧ－ＴＨＥ－ＷＡＲ"
Roboticized hands reach for his neck.
"ＤＵＲＩＮＧ－ＴＨＥ－ＷＡＲ"
The curtain drops.

[franticplanet]

Del Boy throwing Uncle Albert off the Hell in a Cell.

Albert always going on and on about the bumps he took in ECW. "During the war, you was always getting put through a bleedin' table. Took a Tazplex right on the floor, and I'm ashamed to say that I soiled myself."

[Video Game Fan 2000]

[Belltower scene from Fitzcarraldo] We're gonna have a knees-up down the Nag's Head! A knees-up! Down the Nag's Head!

[gmoney]

Remember when Boycie told Del to go home and get his shine box? Can't believe they still repeat that one on Gold.

[The Bumlord]

Fond memories of the scene where Uncle Albert tearfully shaves off his beard and it turns out he's just got a really big chin.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Jaren_2005
Subject: Re: Only Fools and Horses classic BBC sitcom?
Oh God. Yes. The little boy Rodney, I remember seeing him shake. And Boycie doing that laugh through his gnashing teeth, his jaw careening so wildly I thought his cigar would fly right out. I turned it off and it was the last time I watched. I ran to tell my brother and we didn't have the courage to turn it back on. I used to wet the bed from nightmares about it.

mike_painter65
Subject: Re: Only Fools and Horses classic BBC sitcom?
i visited my mum today at the nursing home. i asked her about when i was littel in the early 80s, when i was 8 or 9 and if she remebered a sitcom, only fools and horses. she said she was suprised i could remember that and i asked why, and she said "because i used to think it was so strange that you said 'i'm gona go watch only fools now mum' and then you would tune the tv to static and juts watch dead air for 30 minutes. you had a big imagination with your little market trader program."

[Ron Maels Moustache]

Remember the classic episode "Mum's The Word", in which Del buys a load of used mums off of Monkey Harris but then can't shift them, so for the rest of the series the Trotters' flat is just full of mums, silently observing and judging everything that takes place?

[Huxleys Babkins]

Great one that. Ended up filling a warehouse full of death beds and Del went around each one in turn, asking them if they had any pearls of wisdom that would allow him to manipulate Rodney at a later date.

Uncle Albert following on behind with a pillow to put them out of their misery took it to a very dark place but then that's the genius of John Sullivan's writing isn't it? Comedy juxtaposed with tragedy and allow no more women than strictly necessary at any time.

[poodlefaker]

Remember the first couple of series when it was still in black and white, and just called "Only Fools"? Much grittier then, more of a Ken Loach/"Play for Today" feel. It was never as good after they relaunched it in colour and introduced the two talking horses.

[franticplanet]

Rodney accidentally shaves Albert's beard off while he's asleep, forcing him and Del to stay up all night fashioning a replacement out of cum.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Remember the first couple of series when it was still in black and white, and just called "Only Fools"? Much grittier then, more of a Ken Loach/"Play for Today" feel. It was never as good after they relaunched it in colour and introduced the two talking horses.

Shame that only a couple of them survived the BBC's tape wiping in the 1970s. I've heard rumours that there might be a copy of the one where "Derek Boy" falls through the picket line in a South African broadcaster's vault, but that seems as likely to turn up as that supposed missing episode of Doctor Who where the Patrick Troughton accidentally shrinks the TARDIS and lands on the surface of Zoe's arse.

[H-O-W-L]

I think the episode where a bomb drops on Sheffield and that cat writhes around screaming and on fire was a bit lacking in laughs.

[frajer]

🎶 Why do only fools and horses twerk,
Now shake that ass Del, nah nah nah nahhh nah,
Nah nah nah nahhh nah, shake that freakin ass

"Rodney what the FUCK is this?"

"Just trying somefing new Del."

[H-O-W-L]

"Rodney, you FUCKCUNT!"
"Bloody Hell, Del, we're only on at half eight!"
"YOU FUCKING CUNTING BASTARD FUCKPIPE SHITHOLE SHITWANK COCKFUCKER DICKSUCK CUNTFLAP ARSE!!!! FUCK YOU!"

[Huxleys Babkins]

Del Boy hawks a load of shop soiled chocolate oranges in a Cambridgeshire hotel car park.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Little known fact: The reason Rodney wears a camouflage jacket in the early episodes is because, prior to teaming up with his brother to flog moody shit down the market, Rodders was a highly decorated Field Marshal in the British Army.

[Huxleys Babkins]

That explains why he doesn't want to hear Albert's war stories. He's already lived through it once.

[mrClaypole]

That episode where Del and Rodney are stuck in a lift and Del waiting for Cassandra to have her miscarriage
A whole 50 mins of them just sitting on the floor not knowing why.
Uncle Albert is concerned that they have nothing to get sentimental about so he goes after Cassandra with a fashioned coat hanger and bottle of gin. Cassandra is distraught but doesn't know why.
News reaches Rodders and Del via Trigger who had taken a short cut to the pub through the lift that that Cass had lost the baby
Del decides to cheer Rodney up by telling him that they will be stuck in the lift forever and that he will probably starve to death in a week so he can join the unborn child.

End of episode

Next xmas special.


Del survived the lift incident and Monkey Harris saved him. Rodney is now brown bread.
Del does something funny by leaning off the balcony and falling to his death.
It was a classic moment and will be forever replayed on the 100 greatest clips of comedy (in colour and from the last 20 years)  shows on channel 5

[JamesTC]

News reaches Rodders and Del via Trigger who had taken a short cut to the pub through the lift that that Cass had lost the baby

Classic scene that one.


Trigger: Just seen Dave's bird. Sound like she's hungry.
Del: She not had anything to eat?
Trigger: Doesn't sound like it. Doctor said she missed the cabbage.
Del: You dozy plonker. She hasn't missed the cabbage, she's had a miscarriage!

[rapturous applause and whooping]

[Huxleys Babkins]

Of course, Del didn't want to hear Uncle Albert's war stories either, but only because he'd already listened to "Bunny" Warren's tales about the RAF and loved every single one of them.

[kalowski]

My favourite of Del's lines:

Behold! I am Del Boy
I am not of your world
But fear me not
I will do you no harm

Loan me your funky Peckham Spring Water, and I shall play with it
For nothing is good, unless you play with it
And all that is good is nasty!
Fly on, you plonker, Rodney.

[JamesTC]

Love the episode when Uncle Albert is mistaken for Jesus and he changes the gravy to coffee.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Remember the one where Grandad gets caught up in a row over a review he left on Tripadvisor?

"I asked them for an Emperor burger and they served me a cheeseburger. 0 stars. Would not recommend. And it's run by pakis."