Only Fools and Horses

[mrClaypole]

I remember when he stuck it out the window of the van and used it as an aerial. Got Radio 1 really well but it nearly snapped off when they drove past Denzil's lorry.

And when Rodney balanced the magazine he was reading on it and Del started giggling. He only got it back to normal size by putting it in a pint of beer, which was somewhat disconcerting for Boycie as it was his pint that Del dunked his dick in.

Also when Del walked didn't it change the channels of the Nags head TV?

[Fambo Number Mive]

It did, Mike used to offer Del Boy half price beer if he would avoid the pub when a game was on the telly.

[kalowski]

Find that altering the temperature gives fascinating results
Temp 0.2

Top ten jokes from Only Fools and Horses.
1. Del falls through the bar.
2. Del falls through the bar.
3. Del falls through the bar.
4. Del falls through the bar.
5. Del falls through the bar.
6. Del falls through the bar.
7. Del falls through the bar.
8. Del falls through the bar.
9. Del falls through the bar.
10. Del falls through the bar.

Temp 1

Top ten jokes from Only Fools and Horses.
1. Del falls through the bar.
2. The pub used to have a swimming pool.
3. The pub used to have a tennis court.
4. The pub used to have a jacuzzi.
5. The pub used to have a tennis court, but without the court.
6. Trotters.
7. The pub used to have a tennis court, but with no court.
8. The pub used to have a pool table.
9. The pub used to have a pool table, but without the table.
10. The pub used to have a jacuzzi, but without the jacuzzi.

Temp 2

Top ten jokes from Only Fools and Horses.
1. Del falls through the bar.
2. Del and Rodney get married
3.......
More

Del narrater: Who would of thopught of the very best horse riding on a camel but me an them, Rodney Rodney what can we dout. Aww what more can we tell. Just like the say it comes down to us now Del to go one last ride. Just think, you ae an only fool aan an there isn´t a person whon could say there only just one in tenn, woe there is Del I would not lie to thee aand say. Woot Del Del no its the troys that only the fools have, you may go on in to eternity on that, as it may of been said in the bale that "All horses only do well there only one in England only does". This is in honourof all fools for they have always kept that in memory. It came down to us an the very troys an to keep that in memory in this

Temp 5

Top ten jokes from Only Fools and Horses.
1. Del falls through the bar.

2. Posh, on being the local butcher tells "Yeh that was great to go see, and there sure looked oot ah faaad ye wesh it tuh dell them dale a hond uo deak! Yea? We were great-praised on being our eaww yowweys deeal-it! The ma-atir, as ye saw... a deat'ful spectacle, mawkin awfiy"' Pimples says he had forgotten which it is (that a bird), not only the bird. Not knowing what a bull terpies the man has and realising she now doesno no the story of Mr Wickers (bast of eeww that no ewwone), has it that some men from some other place got the bird into t he net from somewhere ae the air. That got the old chap excited who goes in pursuit to achoot, where in front (‽‾.o, 'at wot! It" to Del which goes off running on. (Plep it.) After an all out frst-wett chase where old Dolly says. Well he must haae awah-toed through there (the gate in the ground-hafee it fathar awtah, ah deall.) Ah must admit a great oawt of woak! a awgh ou aw it were aw foor (sic): ye, as oen‬of ‼he reeds uas ndert eh it! I ewit the ced! We ah hinned-nooteely‬-caled fah ei to gav that gowden net‼we hh ah (sah)! The heah ‽b" the hea eee fw a a cot, ah ked

[idunnosomename]

The BBC might be interested in this. Call the Sullivan estate at once. Only Fools is back baby!

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Remember when Del Boy shit his pants constantly for all 30 minutes of an episode? "It just keeps coming Rodney!"

a classic

[Fambo Number Mive]

Temp 0.22

Only Fools and Horses is the epitome of the phrase 'they don't make them like this anymore'. The wildly popular English comedy ran from 1981 to 2003, solidifying its legacy every season as one of the most popular British sitcoms ever.

Viewers immediately fell in love with the plucky Trotters. The wheeling, dealing Del Boy, his kid brother Rodney, and their loving but dopey Granddad were both dysfunctional and relatable. Even after Lennard Pearce's untimely death, Uncle Albert came in to carry on his brother's legacy.

The show's success was so great that it spawned a film, a spin-off series, and a musical. It also inspired a book, a video game, and a comic book.

The show's legacy is so strong that it's even been the subject of a song.

The song, "They Don't Make 'Em Like This Anymore", was written by the band The Smiths and was released as a single in 1986. It was the band's second single, following the release of "This Charming Man".

The song was written about the show, and was inspired by the show's theme song, "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)", which was written by the band's frontman Morrissey.

The song was a hit, reaching number two in the UK charts and number one in the US charts.

Temp 0.63

Only Fools and Horses is the epitome of the phrase 'they don't make them like this anymore'. The wildly popular English comedy ran from 1981 to 2003, solidifying its legacy every season as one of the most popular British sitcoms ever.

Viewers immediately fell in love with the plucky Trotters. The wheeling, dealing Del Boy, his kid brother Rodney, and their loving but dopey Granddad were both dysfunctional and relatable. Even after Lennard Pearce's untimely death, Uncle Albert came in to carry on his brother's legacy.

It's sad to see the show go. While it was true that the format was a little outdated by 2003, the show has always been a refreshingly British take on a world of politics, greed, and crime.

It's a testament to the show's popularity that it managed to reach its final episode in 2003, even though it was taken off the air in the US and other countries.

Today, the show's future is still uncertain. According to BBC sources, the show will return to television in 2014.

But if the show is revived, it should be done so with the original cast.

The show's cast is filled with British comedic legends, and it would be a travesty to bring back a show that's been around for so long without them.

In order to celebrate the legacy of the show, we've compiled a list of the show's cast members and their best moments.

Let's take a look at the Trotters' best moments.

Temp 1.21

Only Fools and Horses is the epitome of the phrase 'they don't make them like this anymore'. The wildly popular English comedy ran from 1981 to 2003, solidifying its legacy every season as one of the most popular British sitcoms ever.

Viewers immediately fell in love with the plucky Trotters. The wheeling, dealing Del Boy, his kid brother Rodney, and their loving but dopey Granddad were both dysfunctional and relatable. Even after Lennard Pearce's untimely death, Uncle Albert came in to carry on his brother's legacy. The show may have ended up as a comedic juggernaut but, having lost some heart, there are those who might have forgotten just how consistently amazing the episodes have been.

The first episode of Fools, broadcast in 1981, begins in a classic Uncle Albert style with the entire show put on hold as he entertains Uncle George with a card game and a box of toffees.

Paul, left, Del and Rodney celebrate Albert's 95th birthday by bursting into song in Fools and Horses

Despite their shared bond, Del's much-loved, polar opposite best friend, Buster 'Cockney' Graham (played by Nigel Planer) has not turned up to Albert's 95th birthday party. After a rather shady attempt at trying to track him down, Albert makes plans to hold his 'family's own', drinking his first in 20 years and pitting his friends against one another in a game of poker. With more success than Buster, Albert successfully converts the party into a dinner party before his nephew, Ian.

In the scene that follows, a younger version of Albert comes into the Trotters home. His place as the longest-serving friend to the family, Reg, is soon usurped. His stare at Del

[kalowski]

They're all fantastic!

[Fambo Number Mive]

Remember when Del Boy shit his pants constantly for all 30 minutes of an episode? "It just keeps coming Rodney!"

a classic

I thought David Jason and Nicholas Lyndhurst were outstanding in that episode. The whole 30 minutes inside the three wheeled van, Del refusing to get out and find a bush, bush, bush to finish pooing in because "I can't let the public see my shit-covered trousers, Rodney. I'm an international businessman with a reputation." Rodney trying not to vomit as the smell built up while Del slowly went higher and higher as the poo built up in his pants. The episode ended with them arriving at Nelson Mandela House. "Do me a favour Rodney, get me a couple of bin bags so I can alight with dignity". Rodney gets out and vomits all over the road as the titles come up, and Del is still shitting.

Really hope the Only Fools and Coach Tours types integrate this scene into their event, it could happen at the end when as the guests are leaving Del Boy is outside waving them goodbye and reeking of shit while Rodney is vomiting all over the road.

Same thing could happen for the end of an Only Fools and Horses Dining Experience. Near the end, Del Boy and Rodney could disappear for half an hour and when people are leaving Del and Rodney are reenacting the episode Cakky Pants, with real shit in Del's pants. That's dedication, being able to smell actual shit as you leave to get the bus home.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Really anyone wanting to start up another Only Fools and Horses Dining Experience or Only Fools and Coach Tours should read this thread carefully first. You don't want to forget the one where Del has a wet dream and accidentally wipes himself down with Uncle Albert's beard as Albert is asleep next to the tissues, and for the rest of the episode has to try and clean the cum off Uncle Albert's beard without Uncle Albert noticing. Real cum was used in this episode.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Watch these Colwyn Bay fans pay their own tribute to Only Fools and Horses actor Nicholas Courtney

"We're having to find a new way of making sure people know who the real Del Boy is."

It's a bittersweet announcement for the town of Colwyn Bay, which will lose one of its most celebrated sons with the news that only fools and horses star Nicholas Courtney will be leaving the show when Only Fools and Horses wraps up filming next month.

But fans are celebrating his legacy as the only local cast member to appear on the show for the past 10 years, as well as making up a series of events in his honour, as the actor prepares to retire after years in the East End and across the pond.

Scroll down to watch video from the last series

Scroll down for video

The actor has been in the show since 2004 and plays Del Boy's long-suffering father Rodney

The actor has played Del Boy's dad Rodney for the past ten years and last appeared in 2015 in series seven

Watch these Colwyn Bay fans pay their own tribute to Only Fools and Horses fans...

Only Fools and Horses is coming to the end of its long, long life but fans are still remembering the classic.

At a tribute meet last night at the Colwyn Bay Hotel, organised by the Only Fools and Horses Facebook page, fans showed their support with a series of songs and dance routines as well as reminiscing about the first episode.

The special video of 'The Last Episode' was played on a big screen as well as the original opening theme, while songs were also played from throughout the series.

The video featured a tribute from the cast and guest stars and the likes of Rodney Bewes, who's appeared in everything from Hollyoaks to Shameless, David Haig who's played a memorable turn as Del Boy's Grandad throughout the entire series and Tony Caunter who's played a large part as Uncle Albert throughout the whole series.

Watch these Colwyn Bay fans pay their own tribute to Only Fools and Horses

Watch these Colwyn Bay fans pay their own tribute to Only Fools and Horses star David Jason

Watch these Colwyn Bay fans pay their own tribute to Only Fools and Horses star David Jason

The actor has been inundated with fanfare from fans of the hit ITV sitcom.

A man from Colwyn Bay in north Wales, who watched the show with his eight-year-old daughter, wrote to David asking him to come back and live in the town.

David told the BBC he was touched by the plea and was considering it.

He said: "I think he might be coming back here, it's up to him and his family. I don't know if I could leave my daughter but it would be nice to come back.

"I wouldn't ask any more than that really, we'd be delighted if he came and lived in town."

Only Fools and Horses was a hit in its day

Colwyn Bay

David added that a trip to the seaside town with his family

Watch these Colwyn Bay fans pay their own tribute to Only Fools and Horses

Only Fools and Horses was an iconic British comedy set in a seaside seaside town, starring John, Del and Rodney.

Now, more than a quarter of a century on, the programme is a big hit on TV and is being re-released on DVD and Blu-Ray, just in time for new episodes to begin next year.

The BBC has screened a special tribute for BBC Wales in Cardiff to mark the occasion.

It shows fans from the series' former stomping ground, Colwyn Bay, Wales, gathering together to pay tribute to the programme and its lead characters.

And it features a special tribute from the cast, with Del Boy saying: "That was great. Thanks."

Watch the video.

You might also like:

Husband-and-wife team James and Sarah Parnell talk about the legacy of the show

In an exclusive interview with Wales on Sunday, actor Stephen Fry recalled

Watch these Colwyn Bay fans pay their own tribute to Only Fools and Horses

As the nation marks 40 years since Only Fools And Horses first aired, our friends at Colwyn Bay's football club have paid a special tribute to the landmark sitcom, with a display celebrating Only Fools And Horses' 40th birthday in style.

The display at North Pier, the seaside town in which some of the famous 'Dance Of The Prawns' episode was filmed, shows the landmark episode in full on the main stage.

But, as an added bonus, it also pays tribute to the town and its residents by showing their faces.

The set has been adorned with pictures of the cast of the show (with some added celebrity guests), as well as pictures of those who made the production in the town - including the man who played the pub landlord, Bernard

(The picture in the middle is of course the man himself).

The display is located on the side of the stage where the famous 'Dance Of The P

I loved the "Dance of the Prawns" episode.

[mrClaypole]

That Xmas special split over 3 parts.  The final trilogy.  Grandad meets his evil counterpart (it was my brain Del boy) in a scrap yard owned by the Driscoll brothers.  They fought it out for 2 episodes culminating with the emergence of Uncle Albert who is a mixture of the good and bad grandads personality.
Meanwhile back in Nelson Mandela house Damian is being kept alive by Del boy whos having to inflate an empty paper bag periodically.
Meanwhile Rodney goes to his own funeral by mistake ("I didnt know Del"). At the funeral he finds out a little bit more of his past.  It turns out he's Mickey Pearces love child.  Mickey Pearce had a valuable time machine and was able to go back into the past and stick one up Mrs. Trotter senior spawning Rodders. In other plot points Trigger now does carry a gun. Denzil is Sid and sid became Boycie whos impersination of Marlene has never been bettered by Marlene doing an impersonation of Corinne whos uncanny take on the guy who sells the budgie to grandad who's now Uncle Albert is never bettered by Trig who now not only carries a gun but is Damian, Dirty Barry, monkey Harris, detective inspector Slater and the cast of another sitcom.
Theres a specific scene in which its all explained with just a man mopping a floor for 5 minutes.
Cassandra has now taken to ingesting babies.  She walks down Peckham high street fannying them up.
Raquel plays Tubular bells 2 and dreams of what could've been if she had stuck with the great Raymondo.



Each episode brought in the same 22.3 million  viewers

[Jockice]

The one where nothing out of the ordinary happened at all.

[Huxleys Babkins]

The one where nothing out of the ordinary happened at all.

"I asked him for an Emperor burger and he brings me back exactly what I asked for."

[franticplanet]

The one where nothing out of the ordinary happened at all.

Everyone always says that, but then you have to ignore Pipes off Ghostwatch visible in the background of a few scenes, having a wank.

[JamesTC]

Grandad orders Uber Eats but they deliver him a cheeseburger instead of an Emperor Burger so he leaves a negative review.

Del gets the idea to start his own food delivery service called DeliveRodney.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Anyone else got the Del 16 inch Club Mix on their Spotify playlist? Used to love dancing to that.

It also reminds me of the episode where Del plans to watch all the James Bond films in sequential order for the bank holiday weekend with Raquel. Rodney accidentally destroys his Bond movies after spilling Sunny Delight over them. Del then discovers that Uncle Albert has taped over the one undamaged Bond film with an episode of "America's Strongest Man."Because of this, he declares himself "Peckham's Maddest Man" and decides to give the group a physical run-through of the entire opening sequence of The Spy Who Loved Me.

"Ooh, bit of bush, bush, bush"

Del: No, no, no! Stop getting Bond wrong, you plonkers! I'll tell you about "The Spy Who Loved Me", right. All do that [holds finger in a circle shape over one eye] with your fingers round your eye. I'm Roger Moore. Bang! Blood dribbles down. We're on a submarine. Two sailors sit down and have a game of chess. And the cups start wobbling. And then a man that used to be in "The Onedin Line" come in and goes, "Why are all the cups wobbling, what's going on?" [Rodney indicates if he can take his hand away from his eye] Yeah, you can stop doing that now. And Then he pulls down the periscope and he looks through it and goes "Oh, my god. The submarine's being eaten by a giant tanker". And then we cut to Moscow. And there's man there, he's Russian – he's got eyebrows, you know, cushty. He's on the phone going "What? A whole submarine? You're joking?. I'm gonna have to tell some other Russians, see ya!". And then it cuts to James – Roger Moore – and yes, he's with a lady. He's necking with her, lots of lubby jubbly sexy stuff. And he goes "I've got to go, love. Something's come up!"...
Rodney: Del! He means his cock!
Del: Shut up Rodney, you plonker dipstick!

[kalowski]

Del gets the idea to start his own food delivery service called DeliveRodney.

The sign looks like DeliveRooney.

[idunnosomename]

Here's the one I can't quite get to work:
Why do only Danes and Norsemen berserk?

[Video Game Fan 2000]

"I asked him for an Emperor burger and he brings me back exactly what I asked for."

My headcanon that Only Fools and Horses is set in a paradise afterlife is ruined.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Granddad this turkey is cooked perfectly, just like yesterday which was also Christmas day.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Remember when Del Boy had that chatshow that was a mixture of Antiques Roadshow and Wogan. and Rodney was in the house band with Micky Pearce. Del Boy shot a guest on air while trying to sell him Lord Byron's duelling pistols and Uncle Albert had to go and find a mop to wipe up all the fluids.

[Fambo Number Mive]

An Only Fools and Horses theme park based on the hit BBC series is being considered by UK theme park developer Attractions (previously known as Dreamland Attractions) as a £150m attraction in the UK. Attractions, which also owns The Dreamland Resort in Northampton, is now looking to license the show and turn it into a theme park. "Dreamland" has already announced plans to open at Kings Dominion (Virginia) in 2019, and Attractions is planning a launch at Alton Towers.

In the original BBC series, set in Peckham, only three characters, Rodney (Del Boy) Trotter, his friend and lodger Del Boy "Del" Trotter, and his brother, the unemployed Terry Trotter (who was in his late 40s in the original series), were used, but many of the other characters were used in the show over its 11-year run. While there were minor differences in the script and characters of each episode, all the characters were retained

Would love to visit an Only Fools and Horses theme park, I'm sure it won't be long before there is one. Ride on Trigger's Broom Flume or pick the hairs out of your porridge at Sid's Cafe.

An Only Fools and Horses theme park is to be built at Blackpool Pleasure Beach.

The £1.5billion amusement park will be built next to the Tardis, or Time and Space Machine.

It will have all of the rides and games familiar to Only Fools and Horses, as well as many new attractions.

And in a statement from Blackpool Pleasure Beach, founder Bernie Clifton said they had received a huge amount of support from the local community, as well as celebrities including David Walliams and James Corden.

Bernie added that the park would be like Blackpool but 'better', and the statement concluded: 'We're really excited about this and we hope everyone in Blackpool enjoys visiting us very soon.'

The announcement that the park will be built comes after months of talks with 'local partners' and with potential investors.

They have also announced a major refurbishment of Blackpool Pleasure Beach, which will cost an estimated £7

An Only Fools and Horses themed restaurant is coming to the Old Billiard Rooms.

Diners will be able to have a meal that will remind them of their favourite sitcom's main character after a brand new restaurant opens next year.

The Only Fools And Horses themed eatery - the first restaurant of its kind in the UK - will boast a menu based on the hit TV show, which started its run on the BBC in 1981.

It is being brought to life by celebrity chef and restaurateur Paul Atherton, and will open in London's Old Billiard Rooms.

Diners will be able to enjoy meals inspired by the popular character, including The Only Fools and Horses and Fish and Chips.

The Only Fools And Horses themed restaurant - the first restaurant of its kind in the UK - will boast a menu based on the hit TV show, which started its run on the BBC in 1981. Pictured: Terry and Mr. G in an episode from the show

An Only Fools and Horses themed pub opens on the banks of the river Dart

"It's an ode to Fools and Horses," says Rob, whose pub "The Ode to Fools and Horses" will be opening in a week's time in Dartington Village, in the Dorset countryside. "The village is about as picturesque as a Dartford estate, and Dartington is about the quintessential village that I grew up in. My whole family lives there – I'm still the only one living in London – and I still live locally."

Famously, only one of the five members of the Fools and Horses' gang ever lived in the county. Rob's great uncle, George, who was one of the original gang of players, lives on the outskirts of Exeter.

The pub, which is almost identical to the one in Peckham, where the sitcom was set, will be

[Video Game Fan 2000]

A London man has undergone extensive plastic surgery to more closely resemble Del Boy from the classic sitcom Only Fools and Horses. After growing up in the same house, Anthony, 44, met up with some childhood friends and decided to get his teeth filed into the same arrangement.

Anthony underwent liposuction to plump up his cheeks, a forehead lift to narrow his eyes and a nose job to reshape the tip.

'Del has always been my hero': Anthony, whose face was altered so he looked like Del Boy

Before and after shots of Anthony's life-changing operation

Now Anthony dresses and speaks like Del and insists he and Del are 'pals'.

He says: 'I don't want to be seen by people as a funny, kind person. I want to be seen as a witty, smart, kind person who looks like Del Boy, because that's who I am.

'I don't want to be accepted on who I am, I want people to see me as a comedy character.'

The only difficulty now is remembering what a Del-boy is. 'He's probably the funniest character in all of television. If I think about Del Boy, I'm going to go back into a manic state.

'But I am enjoying life

A London man has undergone extensive plastic surgery to more closely resemble Del Boy from the classic sitcom Only Fools and Horses.

Peter Cummings is a musician in his 60s and an accomplished mimic. After attending a party he decided to show off his talent by impersonating Del Boy.

"I have a physical gift for imitation," he told the Daily Mail. "I had done that sort of stuff for 20 years, so it was something I had always done."

The multi-millionaire party animal has always been surrounded by the rich and famous. Some of his mates include high-profile professional footballers and pop stars, and he was once mobbed by rockers from the "Suede Nation" for impersonating guitarist Brett Anderson.

There were no oddball rockers at the party Cummings had attended, but he was even considered attractive. "I was really well looked after, and my voice changed, and I was like: 'I have got to make this work'," he said.

A series of operations has changed his appearance significantly. Plastic surgeons have altered his skin tone, thinned his lips and given him a cleft chin and chin and cheek bones. "I have made myself attractive," he said.

He is not satisfied with the result, and plans to have further surgery.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

A young couple have divorced after the wife refused to indulge her husband's fetish for the classic sitcom character 'Del Boy', "it was destroying my self esteem" she claimed.

In a decision which shocked experts, a judge ordered a woman to stand by and watch her husband throw several hats into a burning bonfire during a family party.

She will also have to encourage their son to take part, wearing a wig and fake moustache to depict the Del Boy character which gave rise to the surreal family, featuring the notorious Peta and Rodney in the 1970s comedy series 'Only Fools and Horses'.

The extraordinary request was made in a judge's ruling in favour of an ex-wife, who is seeking to have the divorce finalised. She claims the entire story is a fiction and her husband is just being "outrageous".

Del, played by Richard Beckinsale, pictured with partner Peta, left, and close friend Rodney Trotter, right

Father-of-three Del Boy Robinson, played by actor Richard Beckinsale, has always been attracted to 'Del' from the TV comedy 'Only Fools and Horses'

TV Guide lists it alongside The Avengers as one of its 10 Most Brilliant, funniest, creepiest and best-ever TV series.

The BBC website says: "The original 1970s BBC sitcom saw Del Boy, played by Richard Beck

A young couple have divorced after the wife refused to indulge her husband's fetish for the classic sitcom character 'Del Boy', "it was destroying my self esteem" she claimed.

Paul Potts, 25, from Bristol, wanted to have sex with the character from the BBC show by his side - in the bedroom, in front of the family and even in her bed.

He even made a costume out of an old man's hat and had sex with the elderly television character in his mum's old room.

Paul, who has just finished A levels, claims his ex-partner Dezarine, 26, agreed to sleep with Del Boy and then accused him of being 'perverted' when she found out.

The couple split in 2013 after Dezarine was unhappy with Paul's love of the character, which she claimed was destroying their marriage.

Speaking to The Sun, Paul said: "It was really strange. It was like we had a child. I was desperate to be part of her life. I remember thinking that I had so much to give her and then I saw Del Boy and I felt like a little kid again.

"I had fantasies of Del Boy popping round and asking me if I had a 'del' - even my friends joked about it. I felt the need to have him around and I didn't have that kind of connection with anyone else.

A young couple have divorced after the wife refused to indulge her husband's fetish for the classic sitcom character 'Del Boy', "it was destroying my self esteem" she claimed.

The soon-to-be-ex-wife, Laura Valentine, says she cannot understand why her former partner Michael Wright spent hours 'watching Del Boy being taken in and out of police vans' at work, although she admits that at one stage she was tempted to try it for the sake of the sex.

The couple, both 28, say they got divorced because Michael's Del Boy fetish ruined their relationship, although neither could agree on which character they hated more - the comical friend or the murderous family dog.

Laura, from Cardiff, says that after meeting Michael at secondary school they dated for four years, living together for two before the couple were married last May.

Scroll down for video

The married 'Del Boy' fan split with her husband after a decade of suffering because he spent hours 'watching Del Boy being taken in and out of police vans' at work

The mum-of-one recalls the day that things started to go downhill in the couple's relationship.

'He became obsessed with Del Boy and watched it every day,' she says.

'I was at work one morning when my shift finished and I turned up on the national news.

'It was footage from Del Boy's

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Pope stunned Catholics by announcing that the classic sitcom 'Only Fools and Horses' is part of the canonical gospels. When Theresa May asked the Pope in a private audience if she could sit in the popemobile to go to the funeral of his predecessor, it looked like the Italian joke of the century. "No way" he said.

And if the Pope appeared a bit surprised he probably had a point. After all, in reality he is one of the more conservative of the Catholic hierarchy. This conservative streak, coupled with his unlikely choice of a neofascist businessman as his favorite son, Gianni Alemanno, in January 2017 gave the Pope some reputation as a friend of Donald Trump.

And yet, the Pope is sending back to England the CD containing the mocking songs 'only fools and horses' to the annual Vatina party held in his honor.

The six song CD was nominated in August 2017 at the party for a prestigious prize for the best comedy CD of 2017, along with 'Parrot Walks on the Bough' by Frankie Boyle, 'Mud Dog Billionaire' by Blackadder and 'Welsh Election Theatre' by Charlie Brooker.

The verdict was agreed by a panel of judges that included television sitcom makers like Stephen Fry and John Thaw and comedy critic Will Murray of the New York Times.

"I invented racism" claims actor David Jason. He should be locked away.

I'm sorry, but I find David Jason's statement that he invented racism to be truly delusional.

What sort of sick person would claim this? Does Jason think his years as a bigot on television has made him "the guru of anti-semitism"? How pathetic is that?

Let's examine the situation: the Adam and Eve sketch aired on Saturday 11 November 1980, the day after the Adan mon was broadcast, although in fact the Adam and Eve sketch had nothing to do with the Adam mon.

However, on Sunday 12 November the Stig in the Daily Wail came out with a column saying that while the Adam and Eve mon wasn't racist (as he had been taught at school that Jews were the evil one and were therefore the source of all evil in the world) the Adam and Eve sketch was just that. In other words, the Adam and Eve sketch was just like the Adan mon and could not possibly be racist. This did not win the Stig many fans, who were of the view that their idol was betraying them.

"I invented racism" claims actor David Jason. It's true - and it's pretty easy to prove. Jason tells us his theory...

The Guardian - "If we listen to David Jason we'll be in danger of saying, 'Goodnight, Sweet Princess'" - J

He's a 60-year-old actor, some might say "bigger" than some countries and we are yet to see his cookery demonstrations... but then it's not as if he's got time on his hands to be seen.

"At no time, in no way, and with no exception, am I responsible for the oppression of any race anywhere. I am not an agent of the British Empire - I am an actor playing an agent of the British Empire," he says, standing before a large map of the world that stretches all the way to Russia, Australia and Antarctica, a few centimetres from his face.

It's a reasonably high standard for an actor to stand up and say. But David Jason - who's apparently played hundreds of pricks and semi-unhinged villains in many of our favourite comedies - is claiming racism isn't real, it's all a lie. And he's absolutely right.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

A series of unsettling paranormal events have occured concerning the classic BBC sitcom 'Only Fools and Horses'. Some have warned of the fact that the death of John 'Del Boy' Trotter has already been predicted for April 1997.

In the 17th season, Trotter was due to die in a car crash. This plot is being re-thought after an eyewitness who was a passenger in the car claimed he had seen an apparition of Trotter which led him to warn others.

Events which follow were supposedly after the birth of Del Boy's grandson called George, the date of which is April 29th 1997. According to eye witness Eddie, who claims that he was a passenger in the car which struck a vehicle driven by Del's grandsire. He claims to have seen a strange boy with dark eyes at the wheel of the car. When he shouted, he says that no-one responded. He also claims that the car was heading towards a white car, which Eddie believes to be the Ghost of Death.

According to other eye witnesses, the car had collided with a white car. After hitting a children's party, the car struck a school bus, which was standing on a double yellow line. This collision led to the death of 5 children, and the death of a bus driver, also killed in the collision.

A series of unsettling paranormal events have occured concerning the classic BBC sitcom 'Only Fools and Horses'. Although it first aired in 1981, the series still seems to be regarded by many in the British media as the flagship example of old-school TV sitcoms. A number of disturbing paranormal incidents have occured over the years, including the death of show creator, John Sullivan, in 1997. More recently, in 2008, one of the original cast members, Nicholas Lyndhurst, reported experiencing a paranormal 'voice' in the night. In 2010, The Telegraph reported that the producers and channel makers of the show have been threatened with legal action if the rumours of paranormal activity are not investigated and reported on. So has BBC2 come under a spirit of darkness? Can an episode of Only Fools and Horses truly be considered 'neutral'? Has it been cursed, or is it just the nature of true British escapism?

The report of paranormal activity supposedly began with news that Lyndhurst experienced a voice in the night, shortly after the appearance of John Sullivan's ghost in one of the show's final episodes. Lyndhurst, who played the part of the much-loved Del Boy for 30 years, claims to have been woken from a deep sleep in the early hours of the morning to hear the hauntingly familiar voice of his dead co-star: 'Del Boy

A series of unsettling paranormal events have occured concerning the classic BBC sitcom 'Only Fools and Horses'.

The popular British sitcom only aired for 8 years before being axed in 1991. But since its'retirement', strange occurrences have happened throughout the Golders Green and Woodside area of London, North London, that have no clear logical explanation.

"I was having a shave one day when I noticed my ears were glowing red, and the hairs on my face felt electrified. I'd even had a scratching sensation on my cheekbone. I immediately ran to the sink where I thought it was the hot water boiling up from the taps. But it wasn't. When I turned the cold tap on the sink and tried to wash my face, the water was black and so thick, it wasn't going down my sink" recounts eyewitness David Teale.

"The next day I was at a pub with some friends and a jukebox started playing Only Fools and Horses over the speakers. I've never laughed so hard in all my life. I was utterly disgusted at the fact that the one thing we all knew of the show would be playing over the speakers all night. After about four or five hours, the jukebox stopped playing "(It's Baaaaa

[jenna appleseed]

Remember the time Del bought a load of hooky 'hot' sauces that fell off the back of a lorry and gave everyone the shits?



(real life OFAH cash-in tat has long past let itself go)

[jenna appleseed]

Classic scenes from the episode on the bottle there (must've been the build up to the episode that had Del shitting himself for 30mins) Uncle Albert really isn't sure about it all, Del's looking ill, and Rodney's starting to poo his pants.

[jenna appleseed]

Uncle Albert really isn't sure about it all, Del's looking ill, and Rodney's starting to poo his pants.
(I'm working from memory as I don't have the vid-online to refer to for these old-school episodes).

But what's going to be worse: the very real possibility that we don't get a good story out of this 'Great Expectations' episode (or indeed any of the FOUR episodes of 'Dr Who' we were meant to have), or the possibility that we get a really bad episode of 'Dr Who' when someone gets some sparks in their pants?

There are two things you could do to the surprise storyline: either make this a one off episode (e.g. skip 'The Great Intelligence' and re-create it for this season, maybe have the Great Intelligence turn up to catch the Doctor meeting the Master, only to be told 'not in time' - turning up at the end of 'The War Games' to catch the Doctor eating dill pickles with the Cybermen would have similar results), or make it happen on several occasions - give the Great Intelligence something to do (e.g. place it in every episode of this season - and stop it entering the Doctor's head as he is "just at the point of going mad"

---
Uncle Albert really isn't sure about it all, Del's looking ill, and Rodney's starting to poo his pants.
I love my friends, but these are some seriously stressful times to be in a band and everyone just wants to eat. Even D.I.I.s turn to drugs for solace, Uncle Albert finds himself suffering from acute stress. Finally, Ray jumps into the breach and convinces Del and Uncle Albert to throw the blackmass party, which will, hopefully, break the cycle and resolve everything. Of course, this means that we need to find a venue and that will not be easy. Can we really have a full scale gig in the Manchester apartment of our least effective bass player? Will a bus driver, plumber and builder have enough rooms to get through? Well, of course they will and they will, on the condition that they do so with some enthusiasm. So they get off to it, I am waiting for my sausage and bacon to boil when it all begins.

[canadagoose]

Classic scenes from the episode on the bottle there (must've been the build up to the episode that had Del shitting himself for 30mins) Uncle Albert really isn't sure about it all, Del's looking ill, and Rodney's starting to poo his pants.

Can you put it on an emperor burger?