Football Thread 2021/22: pre-seasons in the abyss

Started by sevendaughters, June 08, 2021, 10:22:01 PM

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Holmesy

Quote from: bgmnts on September 13, 2021, 02:02:51 PM

Or i was being ironic but who could possibly know? It's likely I do really enjoy people hurting themselves badly and it turns me on. I wish I meant as much as you though :(

I'd maybe look up the word irony in a dictionary because you obviously don't know what it means you absolute fucking cock.

monkfromhavana

Quote from: holyzombiejesus on September 13, 2021, 08:35:03 PM
We had a similar season when we used loads of keepers. It was after our chairman had engineered the resignation of Rob Page by telling him his playing budget had been slashed by 50% (it hadn't). Page left, chairman advertised for a replacement and Jose Mourinho rang him, recommending his friend Bruno Ribeiro and hinting we'd be given first dibs on loads of promising Manchester United 'youngsters'. The United youth were not forthcoming so our chairman decided to buy a load of players from European 2nd and 3rd tiers, all touted by the same agent who doubled as a Coca-Cola importer. Some that we signed arrived in the UK, took a look round Burslem and then asked for their contracts to be cancelled. We got through 49 players that season (think we actually played Altrincham pre-season), got relegated and, just when things couldn't get any worse, gave Michael Brown the manager's job.

Think every club has a season like that. We had one in our earlier days in the Championship where we had Inter Milan loanee Raffaele Nuzzo let in 5 goals in a league cup game against Tranmere and all 5 were his fault. One of those players who technically "played" for Inter but was actually about 64th choice goalie and spent all his time on loan at Italian 15th tier clubs. We then got in Frenchman Fabien Debec who wasn't quite as hopeless but still 8th tier French football. Then we plumped for a 38 year-old Spanish goalie who hadn't played a game in about 3 seasons.

Up front we had Angolan centre forward, Christian Yulu (never played again) and many, many more hopeless foreign signings.

Kankurette

Utter Shit, I've had so many bad experiences with Liverpool fans that I am genuinely nervous around them. I don't want to get into it here but it's got to the point that I worry that as soon as I mention what team I support they'll start going 'lol 1995 lol Steaua Bucharest lol the Ev lol bitter lol hope Pickford gets bum raped to death with a cactus'[nb]Well, maybe not that last one[/nb]. I don't like being bantered at, particularly by people I don't know. It's also partly because I had a very nasty incident online two years ago which was football-related and I ended up falling out with the other person in question. I am aware that this is irrational but they're one of the reasons why I don't go on Twitter much nowadays. Blunts, I've had less trouble with but then there's fewer of them and I'm less likely to encounter one.
Quote from: Echo Valley 2-6809 on September 14, 2021, 01:14:13 AM
Benitez looks knackered. Can't be much fun waking up every half-an-hour thinking you heard someone in the garden.
He should hire Pickford as an attack dog. Or Duncan Ferguson, he's good at dealing with burglars.

bgmnts

Quote from: Holmesy on September 14, 2021, 11:20:58 AM
I'd maybe look up the word irony in a dictionary because you obviously don't know what it means you absolute fucking cock.

Fair enough you do indeed seem like you know what you're talking about so I'll defer to your judgement.

imitationleather

Four (4) penalties in the first half of Sevilla v Salzburg!


chveik


Inspector Norse

Goalie getting booked for timewasting with half an hour left in a group stage game against Young Boys. The glory days are back at Man Utd!

chveik

pathetic team really

hesitating between watching the multiplex or barca getting their yearly ass-whooping

chveik


imitationleather


chveik

Quote from: imitationleather on September 14, 2021, 07:47:58 PM
You've gotta laugh.

Rennes has been having a bad patch. they have a pretty good team but sadly the coach is a clown. spurs tend to be the perfect team to get some confidence back though

JamesTC

Goals against Young Boys:
Ronaldo - 1
Andre Wisdom - 1
Jonjo Shelvey - 3

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Score first agaenst Young Boys? Acusação de crime? Ronalado NAO GUILTY.

Always is bauetiful legal girls.


Inspector Norse

To be fair it wasn't arrogant complacency on United's behalf, they just couldn't figure out how to do any preparatory research on Young Boys, especially with the Greater Manchester Police Cyber Crime unit at a loose end following the cancellation of the weekend's test match.

DrGreggles


Blue Jam


holyzombiejesus

Quote from: monkfromhavana on September 14, 2021, 11:23:06 AM
Think every club has a season like that. We had one in our earlier days in the Championship where we had Inter Milan loanee Raffaele Nuzzo let in 5 goals in a league cup game against Tranmere and all 5 were his fault. One of those players who technically "played" for Inter but was actually about 64th choice goalie and spent all his time on loan at Italian 15th tier clubs. We then got in Frenchman Fabien Debec who wasn't quite as hopeless but still 8th tier French football. Then we plumped for a 38 year-old Spanish goalie who hadn't played a game in about 3 seasons.

Up front we had Angolan centre forward, Christian Yulu (never played again) and many, many more hopeless foreign signings.

Lovely stuff.

Crabwalk

Man U fans moaning about losing to Young Boys: Ipswich lost to West Ham's literal U21s in the Papa John's Trophy this evening so shut up.

Kankurette

In Soviet Switzerland, Young Boys molest YOU!
Quote from: monkfromhavana on September 14, 2021, 11:23:06 AM
Think every club has a season like that. We had one in our earlier days in the Championship where we had Inter Milan loanee Raffaele Nuzzo let in 5 goals in a league cup game against Tranmere and all 5 were his fault. One of those players who technically "played" for Inter but was actually about 64th choice goalie and spent all his time on loan at Italian 15th tier clubs. We then got in Frenchman Fabien Debec who wasn't quite as hopeless but still 8th tier French football. Then we plumped for a 38 year-old Spanish goalie who hadn't played a game in about 3 seasons.

Up front we had Angolan centre forward, Christian Yulu (never played again) and many, many more hopeless foreign signings.
Southampton had the one where they signed Ali Dia and Graeme Souness got pranked. Everton have had too many of these seasons to mention. Did Onyekuru or Tarashaj ever start for us?

Captain Z

Anyone else watched/noticed the 4-part "Fever Pitch: The Rise Of The Premier League" on iPlayer? Only two parts broadcast so far, and I've only caught ep2 that was on last night - focused on the Man U/Blackburn title race of 94/95. It includes some interesting reflections on scandals/journalism/racism etc and how things have or haven't changed. Interviews with many of the major players too, including Cantona. The section about his kung fu kick was very sympathetic and seemed happy to leave you on his side if you weren't already.

The Lurker

Yeah, I've watched the first two. Bit dull so far, I thought. Very Man United-centred. I mean, David Beckham is being interviewed about seasons that happened before he even turned professional.

Not exactly exclusive stuff either as Eric Cantona has definitely said in several interviews that he wished he kicked the Palace fan even harder. Had no idea the fella he kicked attacked a load of people in the court case so that was quite interesting.

Probably still watch the next two episodes, like

The Culture Bunker

Quote from: The Lurker on September 15, 2021, 11:38:19 AM
Yeah, I've watched the first two. Bit dull so far, I thought. Very Man United-centred. I mean, David Beckham is being interviewed about seasons that happened before he even turned professional.
He turned professional halfway through 92/93 - he'd made his first team debut in a League Cup tie at Brighton at the start of that season.

Utter Shit

Quote from: The Lurker on September 15, 2021, 11:38:19 AM
Not exactly exclusive stuff either as Eric Cantona has definitely said in several interviews that he wished he kicked the Palace fan even harder. Had no idea the fella he kicked attacked a load of people in the court case so that was quite interesting.

He also claimed that all he said to spark Cantona off was "it's an early bath for you, Mr. Cantona", which is just brilliant.

Inspector Norse



Wonderful Butternut


Kankurette


Chollis

yeah that was bloody good fun. i love the champions league. City game was 6-3 n all