Author Topic: Hilarious excuses  (Read 1069 times)

bgmnts

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Hilarious excuses
« on: June 10, 2021, 12:36:03 AM »
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-57418141

Can someone who knows about volleyball let me know if it's unacceptable to talk with your teammates?

Quote
Please don't blow this out of proportion! Sanja is aware of her mistake and she immediately apologised to the whole Thailand team. She only wanted to show her teammates 'let's start playing defence like them now', she didn't mean any disrespect. Of course, it was unfortunate

First Gavrilo Princip and now this.

touchingcloth

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Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2021, 01:10:18 AM »
I wanted to show my female colleagues "let's acknowledge that you are a valued and respected colleague" by grabbing them all by the arse or tits or whatever, and somehow this was grounds for a tribunal?

Catalogue of ills

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Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2021, 09:28:28 AM »
The silly Thais have simply misunderstood the complexities of Serbian sign language, where killing thousands of Muslims means "Have you put the bins out, Radomir?"

Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2021, 09:30:57 AM »
Didn't even get the angle of the slant right.

Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2021, 10:11:40 AM »
Spanish basketball team did a slantdozy ages ago before cultural marxism and they got slaughtered for it.

Remember the Ronaldo from Korean/Japan world Cup? Awful. Used to be called a faux pas or gaffe.

touchingcloth

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Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2021, 10:15:35 AM »
The "88 SS" tattoo was just resting in my account.

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #6 on: June 11, 2021, 03:42:31 PM »
Quote
A teenage boy who 'karate-style flying kicked' a 74-year-old man into the River Mersey has apologised for his behaviour and said 'everyone makes mistakes'...

As he left Warrington Magistrates Court, Benjamin Bridgeman gave an apology, and claimed he didn't realise how old the victim was...

His mum, who supported him in court, said: "For me, I want the elderly gentleman to get better because my son’s not a rogue.

"It was something that he did, stupidly, at the minute and nobody wants the fella. What's the word? Suffer.

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/everyone-makes-mistakes-says-teen-20644989

Yeah, great excuse Ben Bridgeman. What a fuckwit. His mum and 15 year old crony sound like fuckwits as well.

Should add I don't think what Ben did was funny in the slightest.
« Last Edit: June 11, 2021, 03:53:33 PM by Fambo Number Mive »

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #7 on: June 11, 2021, 03:51:26 PM »
Wasn't there recently a case where someone was accused of rape and murder and tried to get out of the murder by claiming they just happened on the corpse and started fucking it?

I don't think it is 'funny', but I can't help being bemused that both him and the brief thought that line would lead to the best outcome.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #8 on: June 11, 2021, 03:52:49 PM »
Spanish basketball team did a slantdozy ages ago before cultural marxism and they got slaughtered for it.

Remember the Ronaldo from Korean/Japan world Cup? Awful. Used to be called a faux pas or gaffe.
Remember when some Spanish F1 blacked up to mock Lewis Hamilton?

Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #9 on: June 11, 2021, 04:00:50 PM »
EDIT: Nevermind

Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #10 on: June 11, 2021, 04:05:04 PM »
I hate the "I would never have done it if I knew the victim was [insert anything here]" defence.
It's not a defense. Doing a flying karate kick blindly to someone's back so they fall in the water and then running away is not a cunt's trick because he was 74. It's just a cunt's trick. Cause you're a cunt.

touchingcloth

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Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2021, 11:17:57 AM »
https://www.bbc.com/sport/athletics/57480597

Quote
American middle distance runner Shelby Houlihan says she has been banned from athletics for four years after testing positive for a prohibited substance - which she blamed on a burrito. The 28-year-old says she was told in January the anabolic steroid nandrolone had been found in a doping sample.

"In the following five days after being notified, I put together a food log of everything that I consumed the week of that December 15th test. We concluded that the most likely explanation was a burrito purchased and consumed approximately 10 hours before that drug test from an authentic Mexican food truck that serves pig offal near my house in Beaverton, Oregon."

Craving a liver and lights enchilada now.

Norton Canes

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Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #12 on: June 15, 2021, 11:46:04 AM »
That's an offal excuse.

touchingcloth

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Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #13 on: June 15, 2021, 11:49:31 AM »
In fairness, you need a lot of pluck to try it out.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

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Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #14 on: June 15, 2021, 11:52:50 AM »
I hate the "I would never have done it if I knew the victim was [insert anything here]" defence.
It's not a defense. Doing a flying karate kick blindly to someone's back so they fall in the water and then running away is not a cunt's trick because he was 74. It's just a cunt's trick. Cause you're a cunt.
If he was mine he'd be doing no more flying karate kicks because he'd have two broken legs.

Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #15 on: June 15, 2021, 11:58:34 AM »
When I first started primary school and hadn't yet conceded that I'd no choice but to go to this new shite place every day, I tried 'dizzy legs' as an excuse to get out of it. Seemed plausible to me. Really had to commit to it too as my mum dragged me along the street. It was quite a performance, proper jelly legs. A couple of years later when Vic Reeves did Brian May with Guy Fawking of the legs I was duly informed that that's me that is.

Mr Banlon

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Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #16 on: June 15, 2021, 12:13:33 PM »
Kid gets caught kicking man into river.
"What's yer name son ?"
"Err.. B-Benjamin err bridge.....man. Yes, Benjamin Bridgeman is my real name."

Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #17 on: June 15, 2021, 12:19:19 PM »
We had a late book at school. Name/form/excuse. The trick was always to group up just outside, where possible, and then all do the same excuse.

One lad in my class, however, had a line in poetic excuses and film quotes. From dim and distant memory ...

"The light had a stillness that I could only partly appreciate"

"Seagulls, sir, thousands of them"


Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #18 on: June 15, 2021, 12:21:07 PM »
I think I once put 'went to get a pork pie' on something like that.

Did once miss a morning of school to be a in a crowd for something the Big Breakfast were filming and they were just like "oh, yeah fine" without even a hint of suspicion.

Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #19 on: June 15, 2021, 12:23:35 PM »
A young Richard Herring blaming shitting himself at school on a naughty dog is a hall of fame-worthy effort.

Sebastian Cobb

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Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #20 on: June 15, 2021, 12:27:59 PM »
I liked that he shat himself so he could go home and avoid being laughed at for going for a poo in school.

Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #21 on: June 15, 2021, 12:37:49 PM »
Wasn't there recently a case where someone was accused of rape and murder and tried to get out of the murder by claiming they just happened on the corpse and started fucking it?


which case was that?

icehaven

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Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #22 on: June 15, 2021, 12:49:27 PM »
Wasn't there recently a case where someone was accused of rape and murder and tried to get out of the murder by claiming they just happened on the corpse and started fucking it?

I don't think it is 'funny', but I can't help being bemused that both him and the brief thought that line would lead to the best outcome.

which case was that?

Sally Ann Bowman
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Sally_Anne_Bowman

Can only imagine his defence team were hoping the ex-boyfriend, who was initially a suspect, could still be done for the murder.

Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #23 on: June 15, 2021, 12:53:47 PM »
okay - I thought recent meant recent

Re: Hilarious excuses
« Reply #24 on: June 15, 2021, 01:01:56 PM »
2006 was literally three years ago.

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