Tried to see a dominatrix and send deposit in person...have I screwed up?

[paruses]

I'm not sure you can, can you? Haven't they tightened up on this sort of thing to avoid fraud (i.e. someone telling your Gran that they're from British Gas and asking them to transfer £5000 into their personal current account). I thought it was only for online transactions but sounds like it also applies to in-branch transfers.

You might be right - I remember couple of years ago a friend trying to pay some cash they owed me directly into my account and they weren't allowed. A nice traceable electronic transfer with you waiving the associated warnings might be ok - I assume so as it got as far as verifying details.

[TrenterPercenter]

Willbo why do you need to pay a deposit anyway?

If you are going to send cash prior then I would imagine sending physical cash would be best to protect yourself and bank details.  If they are going to run off with it then it's less risky to you as you will be waving your rights to any recompense from your bank by agreeing to pay an unmatching account.  Are you sure this is someone you can trust anyway? Has this person been recommended to you or you have some evidence of their legitimacy?

I can't understand why they would need the deposit anyway; surely you can pay upfront on the evening/day (though I defer to other Cabbers that might have experience here).  Not trying to put you off or casting any moral judgements as this is your life - just saying sometimes these problems act as signs that something might be a bit iffy going on.

[Gurke and Hare]

I can't understand why they would need the deposit anyway; surely you can pay upfront on the evening/day

Presumably for the same reason that most service providers with fixed timeslots do, to protect themselves against no-shows.

[touchingcloth]

Not trying to put you off or casting any moral judgements as this is your life - just saying sometimes these problems act as signs that something might be a bit iffy going on.

I'd just like to say that I am casting moral judgements on your life, both recently, as far back as your infancy, and for the foreseeable future.

[TrenterPercenter]

Presumably for the same reason that most service providers with fixed timeslots do, to protect themselves against no-shows.

Sure but what about if they are the person that no shows.  It makes sense I'm not saying this is definitely dodgy but not operating under your own name and asking for money in advance of even meeting someone is risky isn't it.

Sending a postal order would be safer imo but also why not get paypal Willbo; if you are going to the efforts of finding dominatrixes and going into banks, then setting up a PayPal account is much less of a faff.  Just remember to protect yourself you don't always know who you are dealing with.

[TrenterPercenter]

I'd just like to say that I am casting moral judgements on your life, both recently, as far back as your infancy, and for the foreseeable future.

Me? Please do moralise away, be ruthless, be mean, really get your nails in there.


Is it ok if I call you daddy?

[Clatty McCutcheon]

This is where a lot of dominatrices let themselves down - insufficient attention to administrative user-friendliness.

Some time ago, I was on a dating app and a dominatrix had a profile claiming to have a 'well-equipped dungeon in Liverpool, Merseyside'. I was impressed by this attention to detail, as otherwise I would have had absolutely no idea where Liverpool was. Nevertheless, I declined this lady's blandishments, as S&M isnae ma kinna hing, and if it were to become such, I would choose to support a more local practitioner.

[mippy]

I know a domme but annoyingly can't get on her website to see what she does for payment. She's very professional though and I think only takes payment online.

[TrenterPercenter]

This is where a lot of dominatrices let themselves down - insufficient attention to administrative user-friendliness.

that is why we need Trixadvisor

[mippy]

There is Punternet for reviews of regular sex-workers, Trixadvisor or PainPilot probably exist somewhere.

[paruses]

I know a domme but annoyingly can't get on her website to see what she does for payment. She's very professional though and I think only takes payment online.

I did know a couple and they all operated in a very professional way. Taking a deposit is pretty normal. And they have a reputation to maintain so them no-showing is not worth it to nick £40.

As to Trenter's point about security - you are just making a transfer aren't you? Not setting up a direct debit?

[Zetetic]

"Confirmation of Payee" looks like a fucking nightmare. Why on earth didn't they standardise on an algorithm for this?

Anyway, this person shouldn't be asking people to send transfers with the wrong name. That's only going to become more and more of a problem.

[willbo]

The person seems legit and has an expensive looking professional website with links to good reviews on it (on those various punternet style sites), so I thought it would be ok. They only demand the deposit from first time customers. Feeling like this is all more trouble than it's worth to be honest

I went back to the bank, as advised earlier on this thread, and (because I was embarrassed) said it was a payment for a tattoo and I had the studio name and the account number but not the account real name. The lady was really put out and funny about it and said they can give me the choice to do that, but they advise not to and would try to persuade me not too. So I just said I'd think about it and left again.

[willbo]

COVID must've been tough if you've had to wait for tha backs to open and let you in every time you want to do something.

i just used my debit card in Sainsburys through covid, wasn't "doing" anything else except staying home and watching old films

[willbo]

is this to punish yourself for the wire in the flat

i had it made into a whip

[Kelvin]

Aren't there loads of sites where people do this for free? Or even on a mainstream dating/meet up site? Just change your name to Punchee Penis and you're bound to get some bites. And if you're lucky a black eye.

[phantom_power]

that is why we need Trixadvisor

WhipAdvisor, surely?

[Lord Mandrake]

Whatever you do stop going in and out the bank like you're casing it.

[pigamus]

Do you ever read a thread and think maybe you haven't lived

[Gurke and Hare]

Anyway, this person shouldn't be asking people to send transfers with the wrong name. That's only going to become more and more of a problem.

Society shouldn't be so judgemental that sex workers are effectively forced to operate under a pseudonym, but what are you gonna do?

[jfjnpxmy]

Mate of mine used to be a dominatrix.

Cashier at the bank almost certainly thought you were trying to buy weed online. Deposit for timeslots is deffo because people no-show - even with the deposits my mate reckoned about a third of people no-showed - bottled it at the last minute. Sometimes she'd see them approach her place, then just turn around and fuck off. Pre adopting the deposit thingy she used to post their names, numbers and any photos she had of time wasters on her social media feeds, until she realised blokes were deliberately fannying her about to get free public humiliation. Much easier just to take their forty knicker and watch some Homes Under the Hammer. The wrong name thing is because it'd be suss as fuck if you were transferring to Mistress Whiplash O'Ballstomp, but also she can't give out her real name for obvious reasons. Lotta sex weirds and cunts yearning for parasocial relationships out there.

The above listing about "Liverpool, Merseyside" is because a large percentage of a domme's clientele are your rich, jet-setting businessman types. Everyone in the UK will know where Liverpool is, but yer man coming across from Alberta or Riga might not be so well informed. My mate reckoned it was a third clichéd high powered businessman types, a third being hard as nails manual trades kinda blokes and a third being old dudes who'd developed a taste for sodomy and the lash at public school.

She's a yoga teacher now - reckoned being a domme was getting to her after a while.

[Dr Rock]

Why haven't you got internet banking? Everyone's gt internet banking. It's great.

Now imagine if you pluck the courage up to go back to the bank again... and then you enjoy the dom stuff but don't like the dom for some reason? You'll have to go through this again. Get internet banking.

[Butchers Blind]

This thread has made me realise I've not been in a bank for over two years.

[Captain Z]

Banking thread

[Gurke and Hare]

There will be someone out there whose kink is getting knocked back in the bank.

[TrenterPercenter]

Why haven't you got internet banking? Everyone's gt internet banking. It's great.

Now imagine if you pluck the courage up to go back to the bank again... and then you enjoy the dom stuff but don't like the dom for some reason? You'll have to go through this again. Get internet banking.

Not even internet banking but PayPal or some other E-wallet stuff - it makes like so much more simply and it is pretty secure in regards to transactions.

[El Unicornio, mang]

This is quite an escalation for you: a week ago you were worried about your landlady gettin' angry cos your hamster had chewed a bit of cable, and now this.

The bit of cable was up his rectum at the time though, to be fair.

[Icehaven]

Pre adopting the deposit thingy she used to post their names, numbers and any photos she had of time wasters on her social media feeds, until she realised blokes were deliberately fannying her about to get free public humiliation.

I don't know why but that just really made me laugh. Also she should have charged them, "Pay me or I WON'T embarrass you."

[Mr Farenheit]

There will be someone out there whose kink is getting knocked back in the bank.

And it's free!

[metaltax]

The lady was really put out and funny about it

This could be because she has to seek special permission to override the "don't send to a differently-named account" thing, which  puts her in an awkward position because she'll have had it drummed in to her not to allow this (because it might all backfire on her and her boss if it turns out you've been conned and make a fuss).

I'd go back and brazen it out in a slightly-too-loud speaking voice: "Hello, I'd like you to pay money to this person please. It's for professional dominatrix services." Trust me, they'll have you sorted and out of there as fast as possible.