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Tried to see a dominatrix and send deposit in person...have I screwed up?

Started by willbo, June 10, 2021, 10:24:23 AM

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mippy

I wonder if PayPal can get a  bit funny about money laundering for stuff like this, though? Years ago I sold things on eBay, and despite the payments coming through eBay, and having details of each listing, they froze my account with the money in it for six months because I couldn't prove they were real items I'd actually sold. I've also heard of people who run online raffles getting their Paypal accounts shut down thanks to frequent payments coming in and out.

Not sure what the legal status of being a dominatrix actually is but dealing with Paypal when something goes wrong is a ball-ache (ho ho ho)

Zetetic

Quote from: Gurke and Hare on June 10, 2021, 02:44:16 PM
Society shouldn't be so judgemental that sex workers are effectively forced to operate under a pseudonym, but what are you gonna do?
Setup as a sole trader, I guess.

Zetetic

Quote from: metaltax on June 10, 2021, 03:26:50 PM
This could be because she has to seek special permission to override the "don't send to a differently-named account" thing
I don't think you can influence Confirmation of Payee at the payee end because that would be even more insane.

MoreauVasz

Don't give up on it Willbo, ignore the people taking the piss.

Also, it wouldn't take long to sort out online banking and it does make life a lot easier.

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: willbo on June 10, 2021, 10:24:23 AM
...then the cashier told me the names don't match. I just panicked and said "ok I'll check that" and left the bank.

She looked at me strangely as I left

Now we have to imagine what that other non-matching name was, to garner that response!

I was struggling to come up with a witty example, but yeah, this kind of thing...

Quote from: jfjnpxmy on June 10, 2021, 02:47:36 PM
Mistress Whiplash O'Ballstomp

Quote from: mippy on June 10, 2021, 03:34:35 PM
I wonder if PayPal can get a  bit funny about money laundering for stuff like this, though? Years ago I sold things on eBay, and despite the payments coming through eBay, and having details of each listing, they froze my account with the money in it for six months because I couldn't prove they were real items I'd actually sold. I've also heard of people who run online raffles getting their Paypal accounts shut down thanks to frequent payments coming in and out.

Not sure what the legal status of being a dominatrix actually is but dealing with Paypal when something goes wrong is a ball-ache (ho ho ho)

The frequency probably made the algorithm question whether your personal account was being used for business purposes, thus the freeze so it could be investigated by an actual person.

wooders1978

Downloading a banking app and linking it to your account doesn't take long (please don't spank it to this comment)

steve98

Quote from: willbo on June 10, 2021, 02:08:42 PM
Feeling like this is all more trouble than it's worth to be honest




God love you, this is a great thread. :)

paruses

Quote from: MoreauVasz on June 10, 2021, 03:44:41 PM
Don't give up on it Willbo, ignore the people taking the piss.

Also, it wouldn't take long to sort out online banking and it does make life a lot easier.

Yes definitely stick with this.

Look into getting online banking  resurrected (if I remember your first post correctly - they just need to send a new pin/pass).

Meantime style it out in the bank and if you need an elborate excuse write both names on a piece of paper and examine them in a theatrical style to confirm the information and accept the  risk.

JaDanketies

Quote from: Zetetic on June 10, 2021, 01:57:32 PM
Anyway, this person shouldn't be asking people to send transfers with the wrong name. That's only going to become more and more of a problem.

I can appreciate that a sex worker / life coach might not want their clients to know their legal name, and would prefer to give their name as 'Mistress Ron' so they don't get admirers turning up at their home address with a gift-wrapped Virgin Media box.

willbo

I am waiting for my online banking to be set up, and I do have paypal. It was just a "Mistress" who I saw an advert for online when looking out of curiosity. She's pretty and she does a relaxation thing which I thought it sounded nice. It was just meant to be a straightforward little session for me to try out. Feel massively stressed and embarrassed now that I'm on the banks' radar as someone with weird/criminal requests (especially with all this "they think you were buying weed" thing).

thenoise

Absolutely pathetic. Couldn't even manage to transfer a measly £40? Too busy playing with your micropenis while watching 'old films'? That's all you're going to be doing if you don't sort it out little man!

Invoice in pm.

JaDanketies

Quote from: willbo on June 10, 2021, 04:09:35 PMFeel massively stressed and embarrassed now that I'm on the banks' radar as someone with weird/criminal requests (especially with all this "they think you were buying weed" thing).

My account got flagged for buying crypto and my LocalBitcoins account got deleted for allegedly buying drugs, nothing to be embarrassed about. It's about as interesting to a bank as anyone who takes money out of the atm in a strip club. Doesn't seem to have affected me at all. They didn't mention that Newcastle strip club or the LocalBitcoins thing in my mortgage application.  You seem to be getting yourself worked up about nothing. Hopefully a good hard pegging will help you unwind. The bank is as interested in your sexual habits as the guy in the off license is interested in my liver.

Captain Z

I'd like you to transfer money to this secret, illegal dominatrix, please.


Paul Calf


Doomy Dwyer

Getting your £40.00 back shouldn't be a problem, willbo. I had to return a cardigan to S&M about a month ago and they couldn't have been nicer or more helpful. However, be warned - any items must be returned within thirty-five days of purchase, unused, in their original packaging and, of course, a valid till receipt is required because you're a disgusting sniveling wretched little maggot of a man who can't do anything right, can you? Well, can you?? 

jfjnpxmy

Quote from: willbo on June 10, 2021, 04:09:35 PMFeel massively stressed and embarrassed now that I'm on the banks' radar as someone with weird/criminal requests (especially with all this "they think you were buying weed" thing).

You're not on any radar. The cashier thought "Huh, probably buying weed" and then totally forgot you ever existed the moment you were out of eyeline.

willbo

Quote from: Doomy Dwyer on June 10, 2021, 04:22:49 PM
Getting your £40.00 back shouldn't be a problem, willbo. I had to return a cardigan to S&M about a month ago and they couldn't have been nicer or more helpful. However, be warned - any items must be returned within thirty-five days of purchase, unused, in their original packaging and, of course, a valid till receipt is required because you're a disgusting sniveling wretched little maggot of a man who can't do anything right, can you? Well, can you??

I never sent it yet...

MoreauVasz

Yeah... Nobody gives a shit about this kind of stuff. It's on the same level as going to the supermarket and buying a bottle of baby oil. Cashier might think 'oh aye!' but you'll be forgotten in a heartbeat.

The name check thing is purely for your sake. It can be a bit nerve-wracking to send money based on a few numbers so the system has a check built in in case you have got the numbers wrong. When the cashier advises you not to send the cash because the name doesn't match she's just following protocols laid down to help you. If you know the numbers are right then just ask them to send it anyway. It's only £40 and it's your money.

monkfromhavana

Why don't you just save your money and we'll all tell you what to do for a bit?



Gurke and Hare

Do people really buy and sell weed using online banking? That seems a little traceable.

MoreauVasz

It's not illegal to send someone £40. The payment contains no information about you getting anything in return.

I suspect a lot of people buy weed through platforms like ebay. Stick up a listing for something cheap, have a vastly inflated buy-it-now price on the listing, who's to say that you're not just an idiot who spent £40 on a £2 disposable lighter?

Bernice

Power to you, willbo. Never let administrative detail get in the way of getting freaky.

willbo

Quote from: MoreauVasz on June 10, 2021, 04:45:30 PM
It's not illegal to send someone £40. The payment contains no information about you getting anything in return.

I suspect a lot of people buy weed through platforms like ebay. Stick up a listing for something cheap, have a vastly inflated buy-it-now price on the listing, who's to say that you're not just an idiot who spent £40 on a £2 disposable lighter?

They do. They buy illegal dogs on facebook marketplace. There's listings that say "this box with everything on it" and they'll be a puppy on a box.


Video Game Fan 2000

Quote from: Zetetic on June 10, 2021, 03:38:24 PM
Setup as a sole trader, I guess.

♪ ...and we'll cut prices at a stroooooke♪

or

♪ no income tax no ABDL...♪

TrenterPercenter

As other people have said Willbo yoou are not going to get into trouble for the bank thing.  You have a propensity to over worry about things which is actually good as it is protective in a way but stop punishing yourself mentally over this (that is what the Dom is for surely) you've done nothing wrong or illegal.

willbo

Quote from: TrenterPercenter on June 10, 2021, 05:20:27 PM
As other people have said Willbo yoou are not going to get into trouble for the bank thing.  You have a propensity to over worry about things which is actually good as it is protective in a way but stop punishing yourself mentally over this (that is what the Dom is for surely) you've done nothing wrong or illegal.

thanks. My driving teacher thinks I should be on meds for anxiety

Paying a woman to be humiliated and abused??? My wife does that to me for free. Cheers.