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Lamest Punks in Music

Started by Pauline Walnuts, June 21, 2021, 11:42:22 AM

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Mr Gruts


Kankurette

The lyrics are actually Asterix related but yes, the Cook Da Books version is a gajillion times better.

The only other one I know is when they went Belgium New Beat


The Mollusk

Well put, purlieu. I was 16 when "A Song to Ruin" came out, working some shite fast food job, and it spoke to me enormously. I adored that album (and I agree that musically it is still great) but the older I got the more I realised I connected with it so much because Turner's lyrics were very much akin to the sort of awful guff I was writing around that time as well.

When you look back and see that a then-22 year old was going on stage and earnestly belting out the lyrics "MUM AND DAD, I'M SORRY I WON'T DO WHAT ENID BLYTON TOLD ME", well, even with parents as privileged and presumably twatty as his, it's hard not to feel more sorry for them than him.

Jockice

Quote from: thecuriousorange on June 21, 2021, 06:59:14 PM








Explanation, in case you don't know who's in the picture and think I'm simply making some lame disabilist joke.

https://www.nme.com/news/music/frank-turner-53-1261285?amp

I know Martyn Sibley. Decent chap.

As you were.

Inspector Norse


purlieu

Quote from: The Mollusk on June 22, 2021, 07:40:08 AM
When you look back and see that a then-22 year old was going on stage and earnestly belting out the lyrics "MUM AND DAD, I'M SORRY I WON'T DO WHAT ENID BLYTON TOLD ME", well, even with parents as privileged and presumably twatty as his, it's hard not to feel more sorry for them than him.
The worst lyric in that song for me is "A little more suspicion in our fairy tales please". Because, y'know, fairy tales teach kids to be trusting because the world is a safe place where nothing nasty happens apparently.

"The BFG a propagandist for an unaccountable regime / Orwell's vision with a wrinkled face"
Mate, your dad was Orwell's vision with a wrinkled face.

The Mollusk


Pauline Walnuts

Quote from: Inspector Norse on June 22, 2021, 09:23:17 AM
This one is a banger

The way he moves reminds me of an early 80s, punk, kinda singer, used to wear metallic silver makeup and possibly was having a real emotional breakdown. Song about being Void or Humanoid, or is he just paranoid.

Who's name I can not freakin' remember.

thugler

Quote from: purlieu on June 21, 2021, 11:16:01 PM
Former frontman of Million Dead, a musically decent UK post-hardcore band with lyrics that seem profound when you're young and increasingly cringey when you get older[nb]They were once my third or fourth favourite band and I still get slightly upset by how much Frank Turner has ruined them by turning out to be a dick.[/nb]. Then went on to have a folk-punk solo career which is a thousand times more successful while being a thousand times worse, both musically and lyrically.
I remember listening to Million Dead a lot when I was at a low point, doing some fucking awful menial work and realising how much of a horrible grind working life can be, and some of Turner's lyrics about the struggles of having to do shit work kind of helped. Then obviously I read stuff like this:
It didn't help that a friend of mine was in a band that toured with Million Dead, and he described Turner as "an absolute cunt". Over the years he's gradually outed himself as a really smug, self-satisfied libertarian and I've gone from thinking he was brilliant to thinking he's an insufferable dickhead.

He's also a libertarian arsehole, as was revealed a few years back (some quotes here https://www.theguardian.com/music/musicblog/2012/sep/04/frank-turner-right-wing ). After his earlier career had involved some lefty posturing.

The widespread success of his current musical style and all the offshoots of it is one of the worst things to happen to music in a while. 

ElTwopo

Quote from: BlodwynPig on June 21, 2021, 01:06:33 PM
When were Nirvana a 5 piece?

Maybe after the incident with the shotgun?

kalowski

Quote from: OnlyRegisteredSoICanRead on June 21, 2021, 10:04:55 PM

Getting both Keira Knightly and Michael MacIntyre to appear in this is a real coup.

Brundle-Fly

It's a toss-up between Kenny Everett's Gizzard Puke or Sid Snot. Actually, they were both exactly the same character with the same voice and the same joke, so either one will do


willbo

for years whenever Toyah Wilcox came on TV my parents felt the need to tell me, in shocked, awed voices, "she was a punk! A real actual punk! Honestly!"

Brundle-Fly


dissolute ocelot

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on June 22, 2021, 07:54:50 PM
It's a toss-up between Kenny Everett's Gizzard Puke or Sid Snot. Actually, they were both exactly the same character with the same voice and the same joke, so either one will do


Wikipedia claims Sid Snot was an "ageing rock-and-roller". Was that ever a rock and roll look?

I'm sure if you asked this question a few years ago everyone would say Toyah. Which was also incorrect.

Anyway, Pete Doherty surely fancied himself a chubby Sid Vicious. And Splodgenessabounds weren't very good.

Gulftastic

These fucking clowns


From the McFly/Busted era, when they started giving shitty boy bands guitars and tried to sell them as authentic bands, rather than identikit stage school boys lumped together by a record company.

The Mollusk

I dunno personally I'm apathetic towards the inevitable commercial commodification of punk chic - something Westwood and McLaren were doing pretty much from the beginning anyway. Bands like Busted or McFly are harmless and they're not actually trying to be punk.

purlieu

It's also worth remembering that commercialised 'alternative' music is often a gateway to actual 'alternative' music. My partner was introduced to fairly commercial stuff by her brother, and within a few years she was into anarcho- and crust-punk.

Jockice

I was on a Zoom call yesterday with two young ladies.* The talk turned to musical tastes and I mentioned punk and my two favourite bands being The Undertones and Buzzcocks. I was astonished when one of the women said she preferred post punk to 'plastic punks.' Er, excuse me. Buzzcocks were one of the very first and the main reason it took so long for the 'Tones to get noticed was because nobody in the music business paid any attention to Northern Ireland, so small labels out there had to put their own stuff out. Not remotely plastic. Not that there's anything wrong with a bit of plastic punk, but those two acts are as authentic as can be.

She then proceeded to name Talking Heads as her favourite band. But she thought they were English. I thought everyone would know by now that their creative force was Scottish.

Kids today, eh? They had both heard Teenage Kicks though, and I did my usual 'it's really not the best Undertones' song' bit. Which will no doubt fall upon deaf ears as it usually does. The Undertones are my favourite band ever, therefore Teenage Kicks is my favourite single ever. It is written in scriptures.

*In their early 20s at a guess. And no it wasn't a bloody chatline.

The Mollusk

Even though the people you spoke to were broadly uninformed, Buzzcocks and Undertones are very much archetypal proto-pop-punk bands, so I can see why they may have made that "plastic punk" assumption.

Quote from: Jockice on June 24, 2021, 09:18:09 AM
They had both heard Teenage Kicks though, and I did my usual 'it's really not the best Undertones' song' bit. Which will no doubt fall upon deaf ears as it usually does. The Undertones are my favourite band ever, therefore Teenage Kicks is my favourite single ever. It is written in scriptures.

No it isn't.  My Perfect Cousin is their best ever.

SpiderChrist

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on June 24, 2021, 11:08:04 AM
No it isn't.  My Perfect Cousin is their best ever.

No it isn't. You've Got My Number (Why Don't You Use It!) is their best ever.

Jockice

No it's not. Here Comes The Summer is not only their best ever, but THE best ever. Get Over You isn't far behind and contains what I think is the greatest five seconds in recorded music, the bit of guitar after the first chorus, Forget Peel having the TK opening lyrics on his gravestone, I want 'over you, da da da da da da da' on mine.

Brundle-Fly

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on June 23, 2021, 04:13:15 PM
And Splodgenessabounds weren't very good.

They fulfilled their remit superlatively.

Brundle-Fly

Quote from: Jockice on June 24, 2021, 09:18:09 AM
I was on a Zoom call yesterday with two young ladies.* The talk turned to musical tastes and I mentioned punk and my two favourite bands being The Undertones and Buzzcocks. I was astonished when one of the women said she preferred post punk to 'plastic punks.' Er, excuse me. Buzzcocks were one of the very first and the main reason it took so long for the 'Tones to get noticed was because nobody in the music business paid any attention to Northern Ireland, so small labels out there had to put their own stuff out. Not remotely plastic. Not that there's anything wrong with a bit of plastic punk, but those two acts are as authentic as can be.

She then proceeded to name Talking Heads as her favourite band. But she thought they were English. I thought everyone would know by now that their creative force was Scottish.

Kids today, eh? They had both heard Teenage Kicks though, and I did my usual 'it's really not the best Undertones' song' bit. Which will no doubt fall upon deaf ears as it usually does. The Undertones are my favourite band ever, therefore Teenage Kicks is my favourite single ever. It is written in scriptures.

*In their early 20s at a guess. And no it wasn't a bloody chatline.


Jockice

Not that far off actually!

Jerzy Bondov

Love to read people kicking Frank Turner. I really liked him when he started out on his solo career and saw him live quite a few times. Eventually I noticed that almost all of his songs are about how great he, his life, and his hilarious mates are. I was going through a bad time around then, so I wasn't great, and I had no life, and I had no mates, so the songs began to offend me on that level. And then his insistence that it's great living on the road doing gigs, and that people who aren't doing that are boring old fannies, the longer it went on, started to seem like he was trying to convince himself. And then it comes out he's a cunt.

good times

Quote from: Jockice on June 24, 2021, 09:18:09 AM
I was on a Zoom call yesterday with two young ladies.* The talk turned to musical tastes and I mentioned punk and my two favourite bands being The Undertones and Buzzcocks. I was astonished when one of the women said she preferred post punk to 'plastic punks.' Er, excuse me. Buzzcocks were one of the very first and the main reason it took so long for the 'Tones to get noticed was because nobody in the music business paid any attention to Northern Ireland, so small labels out there had to put their own stuff out. Not remotely plastic. Not that there's anything wrong with a bit of plastic punk, but those two acts are as authentic as can be.

She then proceeded to name Talking Heads as her favourite band. But she thought they were English. I thought everyone would know by now that their creative force was Scottish.

Kids today, eh? They had both heard Teenage Kicks though, and I did my usual 'it's really not the best Undertones' song' bit. Which will no doubt fall upon deaf ears as it usually does. The Undertones are my favourite band ever, therefore Teenage Kicks is my favourite single ever. It is written in scriptures.

*In their early 20s at a guess. And no it wasn't a bloody chatline.

She sounds like a knob to be honest, opinions about Buzzcocks/Undertones aside you have to be a bit of a cunt to call someone's favourite bands plastic punk the second they've just mentioned them as favourites don't you?

Also Talking Heads shouldn't be anyones favourite band - a band to like, even love, but there seems to be some sort of 'statement' inherent in saying they're your absolute favourite. At their absolute best they're transcendent (about half of Remain In Light, This Must Be The Place) but a decent chunk of the time they're just a bit annoying.

In answer to main question, nailed in posts #2 and #3. Although ToL seem somehow slightly charming now (for a bunch of horrid cunts) in how blatantly shit they were, at least no-one took them seriously like Idles.