Figurative (not actual) death on stage/TV

[DrGreggles]

Huwee Huett appears to have left the internet.

[mr. logic]

Frank Skinner at the Brits was pretty bad.

[Wonderful Butternut]

Diablo mobile: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmkHAlhCvWg&ab_channel=Nexius

"Do you guys not have phones?"

[Jockice]

I saw a band called the Milltown Brothers at Sheffield University circa 1991. They were fairly ordinary indie fare but no one in the tiny audience were interested. The singer was leaping about trying to inject some energy and stood on one of the guitarist's pedals, fucking up his sound. Everyone laughed at this. Near the end the keyboard player shouted "fuck you" at the bored audience and stormed off with a couple of songs to go.

Edit: fucking hell, they're still going!

Apparently Slab! (as mentioned in the OP) reformed in 2009. Why oh why? Wikipedia describes them as a mixture of "modern funk, freeform jazz and punk white noise.' From what I remember they took out the good bits from all those styles. And used the rest.

The album they were promoting when I saw them is on youtube if you're interested. I've put random bits on and it sounds exactly like I thought it would. I don't think I'll bother playing the whole thing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqX4tIxl8k4&t=1724s

[phantom_power]

There was Reeves and Mortimer at Montreal - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeeS11lq3zI

[the science eel]

Sadowitz two years ago at the Fringe

[Shit Good Nose]

Sadowitz two years ago at the Fringe

Oh yes, similarly in Bath some years ago.  Not sure I can go as far as saying died, more that most of the audience didn't really know how to react, especially with the tirade of racist jokes followed by him saying very seriously "this is not a joke, this is what I actually think" (also confirmed by more than one CaBber who saw him on that same tour).

[the science eel]

His last words were 'well I THINK you enjoyed it...not really sure...' - seemed genuine, delivered with a frown. Odd gig.

[Psybro]

Saw Rachel Stevens at Sheffield Union because it was on before a club night I was going to anyway, they'd slashed tickets from £15 to a fiver and I fancied her.  They were practically hauling people in at the box office.

She opened and closed with the same song, I think was  mostly miming, and the only audience reaction was from people shouting at her to get her tits out. Everyone in that room was exploited by the end of it.

[Brundle-Fly]

Eddie Izzard making an early rare TV appearance on Comic Relief and not forgetting League Of Gentlemen's Captain Oates skit also on Comic Relief. They didn't completely die but it's a real struggle. 'Like performing in a vacuum' is how both parties described the experiences.

[DrGreggles]

Comic Relief audiences are notoriously shit though.

[Jockice]

Saw Rachel Stevens at Sheffield Union because it was on before a club night I was going to anyway, they'd slashed tickets from £15 to a fiver and I fancied her.  They were practically hauling people in at the box office.

She opened and closed with the same song, I think was  mostly miming, and the only audience reaction was from people shouting at her to get her tits out. Everyone in that room was exploited by the end of it.

Milla Jovovich appeared at Sheffield University when she was doing her music stuff in the early 90s. I not only got guest list places but the chance to interview her backstage. I didn't go because I couldn't be arsed - it was on a Sunday night if I remember correctly - and we usually ran interviews before an act had appeared not afterwards. I made my excuses to the record company the following week and was told that hardly anyone had turned up. She'll get nowhere and be dropped after one album I surmised.

It didn't even register until a few years later that it was the same woman who was now a highly paid actress and supermodel (the best paid in the world in 2004 apparently) And I couldn't even make the effort to travel half a mile up the road to have a chat with her. We could have been married by now.

And while we're on the subject of free/discount tickets, in the early 80s Alvin Stardust appeared at Sheffield City Hall and it was a long way from a sell-out as they started offering free tickets to local schools including mine. I went with a couple of friends - one male, one female - and we found ourselves right in the middle of the front row. After one song my mates decided to walk out, making sure that Alvin, his band and the paltry crowd all saw it. I played the part of Maurice Gibb, shrugging and following them. I'd quite liked to have seen the whole thing, but you know, peer pressure and all that.

The same venue also saw my Brother Beyond experiences. First time, packed out, screaming girls etc. The second time, probably less than 200 in a venue that holds 2,271. It was under a year later too. I had to go down to the venue to pick something up during the day the gig was taking place and saw the drummer sitting with his legs dangling off the stage and his head in his hands. It looked like he was wishing it was the World Trade Tower and he could jump.

And finally I also remember reading a thing in the local paper in the late 70s/very early 80s about Roy Wood arranging to play a show in the city. And not selling a single ticket. If I'd been old enough to go I'd have loved to. The guy's a genius.

[Ron Maels Moustache]

Another CR related "death": Mitchell & Webb, having possibly over-estimated the general public's familiarity with their snooker commentator characters,[nb]Which may've just lifted from Dick & Ken The Snooker Men from Mark Radcliffe's Radio 1 show I suspect[/nb] slogging through their terrible snooker-themed Lady In Red parody called...Table Of Reds. In my memory it seemed to go for an agonisingly long time with barely an audience titter, but oddly this version doesn't seem to be on youtube. Funny that.

[Shit Good Nose]

Another CR related "death": Mitchell & Webb, having possibly over-estimated the general public's familiarity with their snooker commentator characters,[nb]Which may've just lifted from Dick & Ken The Snooker Men from Mark Radcliffe's Radio 1 show I suspect[/nb] slogging through their terrible snooker-themed Lady In Red parody called...Table Of Reds. In my memory it seemed to go for an agonisingly long time with barely an audience titter, but oddly this version doesn't seem to be on youtube. Funny that.

They went down pretty well when I saw them in Bristol.  I didn't think they were terrible, but 75% of it was skits directly lifted from the TV show (with the exact same dialogue and jokes), whilst the other 25% was stuff that they'd already written for the second series (again, the dialogue and jokes were verbatim).  It was...fine. 

But then, IIRC, that tour was VERY hastily organised after the TV show became an unexpected huge hit.

[Psybro]

This doesn't really count because they got a polite reaction in the room, but seeing an aged Zeppelin tribute act perform a strong approx. 140 minute set to a single figure audience in Corporation was sad.

[ProvanFan]

Another that doesn't quite fit but I am posting it anyway: I saw Orbital play to a hilarious empty Privilege in Ibiza in 2009. That's Privilege, the really, really big one. It was a one-off night promoted with union jack posters and I got the sense beforehand no one knew or cared it was on. I went alone because my friends were heading to something shite like Judgement Sunday instead, thank fuck I couldn't persuade them to join me or I'd still be hearing about it to this day. Thought I could turn up and blend in with the crowd and not feel awkward about being Nigel nae pals... but there was no crowd. Here's a short piece about it https://ra.co/reviews/6525.

[non capisco]

I saw US indie band Built To Spill booed off stage by presumably a load of Kerrang readers when they were supporting Foo Fighters on their first tour in '96. The sight of a cello on stage offended that audience before the band had even played a note. I can only assume there was some kind of Dime Bar promotion in the venue that evening because the cellist kept on being hit by miniature Dime Bars, one after the other in a continuous stream until they decided to call it a night and left the stage with a look on their faces that said "This is happening every night. Where's tomorrow? Glasgow? Christ."

I was saying "boo-uilt to spill".

[Wonderful Butternut]

This doesn't really count because they got a polite reaction in the room, but seeing an aged Zeppelin tribute act perform a strong approx. 140 minute set to a single figure audience in Corporation was sad.

My Dad and the singer he used to work with did a gig at the pub around the corner from my house. I went around to say "hi" and maybe give him a hand setting up before the gig, expecting the place to be packed, like it normally is for music on a weekend. About 4 people in the place. So I stayed for moral support. Those 4 left before half way, so it was just me and the singer's partner.

Not really sure what happened there, they usually got good crowds.

[Jockice]

Saw Rachel Stevens at Sheffield Union because it was on before a club night I was going to anyway, they'd slashed tickets from £15 to a fiver and I fancied her.  They were practically hauling people in at the box office.

She opened and closed with the same song, I think was  mostly miming, and the only audience reaction was from people shouting at her to get her tits out. Everyone in that room was exploited by the end of it.

And incidentally, The Leadmill in Sheffield turned down the chance of a performance by Madonna because she was only intending to mime.

[ProvanFan]

My dad sometimes mentions seeing Simon Day die on his arse at T in the Park in the 90s.

[Shit Good Nose]

Last few posts have reminded me about another one I've mentioned on CaB a few times - Rob Newman at a pub in Bristol when he was in his "poetry" phase.  I went with a mate who was (and still is) a huge Newman fan.  Most of the people in the pub were just regulars, and most of those that actually went to see Newman left very early on.  I've never been a fan of Newman, but I really felt for him and me and my mate bought him a drink out of sympathy.  We had a chat with him and seemed like a perfectly decent sort, but wouldn't talk about MWE or Baddiel.

[Johnny Textface]

That bloke who went on Jonathan Ross in character. Apparently utter desolation. (not Coogan)

[JesusAndYourBush]

Anyone remember the really bad Buddy Holly impersonator?  I can't remember the details, but the impersonator was a fairly well known (at the time) actor who was maybe washed up and past his best.  There was a video because I saw it.  The impersonation was really bad and I think he was drunk, and I think the backing band contained some of the surviving members of Holly's original band.  Members of Buddy Holly's family were there and were insulted(not sure if they were insulted by the performance or by the guy himself).  There was a thread on here which seems to have been purged.  I can find nothing at all on the net, and even the last time I posted about it on this site is no longer findable.  Someone must remember some details!!

[Psybro]

"This is happening every night. Where's tomorrow? Glasgow? Christ."

Jack White took a flying shoe to the mush in Glasgow before declaring them the world's best crowd the following night, I hate to think what they do if they don't like you.

[touchingcloth]

Diablo mobile: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmkHAlhCvWg&ab_channel=Nexius

"Do you guys not have phones?"

Giant enemy crabs.

[phantom_power]

Diablo mobile: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmkHAlhCvWg&ab_channel=Nexius

"Do you guys not have phones?"

Jesus, that is brutal. That poor fucker

[touchingcloth]

Jesus, that is brutal. That poor fucker

I don't get why things turn so chilly. The crowd is going nuts at the start, then they turn. Like he says, do they not have phones?

[Cold Meat Platter]

I don't get why things turn so chilly. The crowd is going nuts at the start, then they turn. Like he says, do they not have phones?

'Real' gamers hate phone games. Diablo is a beloved PC series and fans were wanting a new proper iteration.

[Wonderful Butternut]

'Real' gamers hate phone games. Diablo is a beloved PC series and fans were wanting a new proper iteration.

Well, the fact that most phone games are microtransaction laden gacha schemes does make it a valid complaint.

"Proper" PC Diablo was announced the following year. Maybe the whole thing was 4d chess by Blizzard to have extra hype for Diablo IV.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

What was that American comic who died at the Palladium doing a routine on the names of alcoholic drinks without knowing those brands weren't available in the UK? It used to be a clip show staple. Bob Hope maybe?