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March 28, 2024, 10:16:33 PM

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"Dumper" Top Trumps!

Started by Ciarán2, July 28, 2005, 05:37:31 PM

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Ciarán2

As children, my brother and I would amuse ourselves by trying to think of bands who had gone down what Smash Hits used to call "the dumper". Those bands and singers who either ignominiously fell from a lofty perch or those who slinked off unnoticed from the great party that is "pop". So we would try to trump whichever band the other mentioned. The winner of this game was usually the first to mention "Tik and Tok", but to the likes of TJ, they are possibly gigantic legends. It would be possible to continue the tradition by coming up with a set of rules. It could be like Top Trumps. In this way we can between us decide who rests at the bottom of "the dumper". Compare the following examples:

Yazoo

Last Hit: 1990 - after they split. - 1 point
Biggest hit: They had loads - "Only You" still well known and liked -100 points
Members I can name without googling: Both; Vince Clarke and Alison Moyet - 20 points
Back catalogue available in HMV: Yep. -10 points
Had an enormous influence on other bands? Certainly on chicago house and electroclash. - 50 points
Did they look really crap? Vince looked a bit stupid with his single strand of hair gelled up in the air making him look like a unicorn. But it was funny stupid rather than just stupid. He actually looked quite good with it. - 10 points.
Would the "kids" today know who they were? Probably not, no. + 10 points
Kudos with ver critics? Decent amount, I'd say. More than is reserved for Erasure for some reason. - 10 points.
Postmodern points for being "so naff they're good"? Possibly would have Steve Wright talking shit on TOTP2 - if he still presented it. Otherwise, nah. + 1 point
Incredulity if they were to have a hit again? It only takes a remix or Gary Jules cover you know! - 1 point.
DUMPER RATING: -209 (Not actually in the dumper so much as holidaying nearby.)


Red Box

Last Hit: 1986 ("For America") +19 points
Biggest hit: "Ah Li Ay Oh" or "For America" - both top ten. -20 points
Members I can name without googling: none  +10 points
Back catalogue available in local HMV: nope +10 points
Had an enormous influence on other bands? No! +10 points.
Did they look really crap? A little bit, but not out of the ordinary mid-eighties wise +1 point.
Where their records just...awful? Their two singles were catchy enough I suppose... + 1 point
Would the "kids" today know who they were? Definitely not. +100 points.
Kudos inwith ver critics? Zilch +10 points
Postmodern points for being "so naff they're good"... Too obscure to be championed by Tony Parson and his pals +9 points
Incredulity if they were to have a hit again: Enormous + 10,000 points
DUMPER RATING: 10,290 points (Quite lowly. But they're still not Paul King.)

Er...this isn't going to work is it?

splattermac

I've had to read that twice and I can see you want to play Pop Trumps but your scoring is nuts, how can we play this arbitrary obscurest madness? Besides I've a letter from my mum (1 million hit points) that excuses me from message board games.

Ciarán2

You're right the scoring is nuts - but I'm struggling to think of a way of regulating it. Each time I start to think of a way to do so I then think "hang on, I'm trying to regulate a form of Top Trumps which only exists in my head". Still, the idea's ok - I think I should copyright it.

I should not drive on the information superhighway whilst drunk.