Stuck up for my cat and my finances and receive a criminal record...

[Malcy]

Right, might have seen in the cat thread that there's been an evil cat attacking mine and everyone else's in the street for some time. Well tonight my neighbour rang to alert me that it was in the garden. I chased it into next door's garden and tried to chase it off and it attacked me resulting in this.





Few weeks back it bit my neighbour and he had to go to A&E with his massively swollen hand.



So after a chat with the vet yesterday who advised me to take it further I decided to ring the police after going down and finding the owner. I was one door away, so close. Chapped her door she pretended not to be in although I could hear her and when I left I heard her open her door so went back and confronted her.

20 mins later I'm on the phone waiting to get through to the police when 2 little smelly shites obviously related to her turn up at my gate and scream the following at me -

"How dare you shout at a WOMAN"

And

"Once that cat is out of my mothers garden it is no longer her responsibility"!

Wow. Just Wow. The cop I spoke to on the phone was horrified and said I was being silly saying I felt stupid ringing over a cat. He explained that it was not on and police would be in touch soon and help was on the way.

They turned up, told me I was in the wrong and had basically verbally threatened and abused someone and swore at her (I slammed her gate and when she told me to close it properly I told her to fuck off) were not the least bit interested in any of the cat's prior menaces including putting a pensioner in A&E, my large vet bills for my cat, or the other cat that had a chunk taken out of it just 2 days before.

Get this, they told me to "stop chasing cats around", to "close my door and keep my cat in to stop this cat attacking me or myself" and tried to hand me a printout of a police warning.

Nah not fucking having it lads, they treated me like shite and laughed in my face the minute they turned up. Weren't even the least bit concerned about my neighbour going to A&E and said "It's a cat, get over yourself".

I refused the warning and was then charged with fuck knows what as I was so raging and told I now had a criminal record and would have to attend court. As they left I asked for their badge numbers and was laughed at, got something mumbled at me and they left.

Fuck. That.

[Mister Six]

Scattered thoughts: Seek legal advice, about the court case.

You might want to call up the local station and ask for the names of the coppers that came around, and put in a complaint.

Send photos of yours and the neighbour's mangled hands to the local news, too. "Rozzers mock victim of demon cat" sounds like a doable headline, and there'll be fuck all else happening for them to cover over the summer.

[steve98]

Ouch.
Have a bucket of water ready when it next appears

[madhair60]

have a gun loaded with two bullets ready when it next appears, one shot will basically burst it and end the situation.

there will then be another, much worse situation, which is why you have another bullet.

[Rev+]

Fuuuuuck.

"Once that cat is out of my mothers garden it is no longer her responsibility"!

Literally the opposite of reality.  This is why a lot of dog owners take out pet liability insurance:  you're on the hook for whatever the little fucker does, wherever it is.

I'd get in touch with the other CAB about this, but you at least have a civil case here, given that you and the pensioner both received treatment from injuries relating to the pointy-eared wanker and so have medical records that can be submitted as evidence.  Any reasonable solicitor's (yeah, I know) will want to swing this back around at the police too, and will do it on a no-win-no-fee basis.

If they actually do make you attend court then yeah, do so obviously, but they've created a whole cauldron of shit they'll be stewing in here.

[canadagoose]

All cats are beautiful

[Pijlstaart]

"mreek, don't hurt pussums!" I often find myself shrieking from the flowerbeds, brother's hand-me-down fursuit around my ankles. Not sure catz would benefit from prison[nb]purrson[/nb], think they're already used to milling about with no point, a sort of purposeless[nb]purrposeless[nb]purrpurrseless[/nb][/nb] soft furnishing, purrrgatory. Maybe a David blaine-esque glass box, wouldn't punish them, but might be provocative[nb]purrvocative[/nb], in the inimitable words of tony blair, schlick schlack shlock, plonk any old tripe on the embankment an' they'll gives you a knighthood, wot the fack's a river thomas? Short term solutions to keep the cats out, baleen would work, perhaps a pavise?

[Zetetic]

Literally the opposite of reality.  This is why a lot of dog owners take out pet liability insurance:  you're on the hook for whatever the little fucker does, wherever it is.

Dog owners often have specific duties to, for example, prevent their dog being "dangerously out of control" (under the Dangerous Dogs Act in Wales and England).

Any duty on the part of cat owners is far more nebulous.

[Glebe]

Oh no Malcy, hope your okay and that this shit gets sorted.

[Dr Rock]

told I now had a criminal record and would have to attend court.

Doesn't work like that, the police can't give you a criminal record. You won't have attend court if the CPS thinks they have a good case (can't see it). Wasting police time?

[Butchers Blind]

Put cat in bin.

[monkfromhavana]

If videos on the internet have taught me anything, line your garden with cumcumbers (fuck it, leaving that) and that should keep the cat out of your garden.

[touchingcloth]

Put cat in bin.

Put a bin in the cat. Right in.

[Buelligan]

All cats are beautiful

This, a million times this.  And they are their own masters and mistresses.  I serve a whole tribe of the fucks.  Watch tiny kittens bat giant old toms away from the food offerings I bring.  One can never predict the ways and laws of cats.  And I, myself, have suffered severe (dare I say it, far more severe-looking) injuries at the hands of infuriated dogs, determined to put an end to cat rudeness, than even you, poor Malcy.  As if any living thing could do that, put an end, even a temporary end, to the arrant ways of cats, the deluded doggy fools.  Anyway, I took it like a human, knowing that dogs, cats, the whole damn lot of 'em follow their own paths and they are not the paths of Men nor women neither.  The very idea of involving the Pigs seems crazed to me.

You love your cat, she loves her cat, but you are both tiny humans, of no account.  Accept it.  Step back and allow them to be as they will be.  Know your place.  That is my advice.

[colacentral]

Important to remember that this cat is probably a cunt because its owner and her kids probably kick the fuck out of it and swing it around by its tail.

[Buelligan]

Don't even say that stuff or I may have to go and restart them.

[The Ombudsman]

Could your vet give any advice? They may know animal charities that could vouch for you should it come to court. Or perhaps tell people how nasty cat bites/scratches can be and that they aren't trivial.

[Fambo Number Mive]

The behaviour of the police officers who came out was disgusting. So they already had a printed out police warning? I don't see how they can claim you have broken the law at all. Slamming a gate isn't a crime and if everyone who swore at someone was prosecuted the courts would have queues down the high street.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

1) Legal advice re any court summons
2) Does your local authority have a dog warden or any kind of animal control? If so talk to them and see if they'll remove a cat.

[earl_sleek]

Important to remember that this cat is probably a cunt because its owner and her kids probably kick the fuck out of it and swing it around by its tail.

Yeah, it doesn't sound like it's been socialised properly. Which might indicate the owner hasn't been either...

Echoing the other advice to complain. The pigs that visited you are full of shit and bang out of order.

[Zetetic]

Doesn't work like that, the police can't give you a criminal record. You won't have attend court if the CPS thinks they have a good case (can't see it). Wasting police time?

And I think they should have made it clear that you could seek legal advice before deciding to accept the caution (which would have given you a criminal record) or not.

[GMTV]

You didn't slam the gate it just takes a bit of force to close, and you said fuck off to express frustration as you tripped on a stone on the way out

[Malcy]

Thanks for everyone's replies, really appreciate it.

I'm going to be contacting the council, CAB, SSPCA, and going to speak to the police to lodge a complaint and ask for information on the officers who came round last night. They were atrocious.

Kept saying 'it's just a cat mate, get over yourself' over and over while I'm stood there with my hand caked in blood. They had a little machine for the printout of the warning I refused. I think he asked my DOB 4 times and kept asking if I had any priors. Explained that I had never had anything to do with the police and this was why I wasn't accepting anything stating I was in the wrong.

After they told me to just keep my cat indoors I asked if my neighbour should just keep himself indoors as well so it doesn't attack him again and they just ignored it. I'm so so angry.

I don't have a lot of swelling but still going to go to the Doctor's so I have proof of the injury.

[willbo]

oh crap good luck

[The Dog]

I know a few lads who'll sort out your cat problem if you know what I mean.

[greencalx]

Sounds like you have a lot of photographic evidence. But deffo get proper legal advice. If there are procedural errors in the way the plod dealt with this you should be in a strong position.

Good luck.

[Jerzy Bondov]

Sorry to say this but legally the cat is in the right and now technically owns your house

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A lot of these laggards, these pigpeople languishing amidst the wider Filth will go on aspects like demeanour and order of vulnerability if there is a hint of dispute to what is presented to them.

You were an enraged healthy man, the other was a old lady, albeit guarded by some gobby zero watt lieutenants. There were more words against you than for you, sometimes it is that simple for these misshapen, bulbous rozzpots.

While the matter seems to be unjust and ruled over by idiots, think back on how you came across (I don't mean that you were to blame) to see what may have led the Town Clown to side against you.

[Buelligan]

But this is the madness of it all - laid out plain.  Here is the nub.  The Town Clown, as you put it, is as reasonable, fair-minded and logical as that rogue cat that plagued the complainant, poor Malcy, at the beginning.  Only problem being, these fucks can genuinely fuck you over.  This is why I'm mystified as to why anyone, who could possibly avoid it, would involve them. 

[madhair60]

Have you considered getting a quick-witted mouse in to really give the cat a run for its money?