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Infantilisation

Started by Phoenix Lazarus, July 14, 2021, 06:12:44 AM

Previous topic - Next topic
Quote from: who cares on July 17, 2021, 09:03:21 PM
Just been in Holland and Barrett and they seem to have abruptly abandoned it.

You must be very intimidating.

bgmnts

It sort of makes sense to me. Meat eaters will have lambs and pigs and cows tortured and slaughtered by the millions every day without a care. But show them a cute doggo or a cute little animal escaping a predator or whatever it's all awwwwww and yayyy.

So i think you have to appeal to that side of people. Make it cutesie.

purlieu

It's all Innocent's fault. Their entire brand was based around the name, so the whole 'product is talking to you in simplistic terms' schtick was part of it. It didn't bother me, because it was a marketing thing and had at least some charm to it. And then every fucking brand decided to copy it. It's definitely aimed more at things that, shall we say, might be appreciated by 'hipster' types - so vegan stuff, craft beer and so on - but even train toilets have the "please don't flush nappies, sanitary towels, paper towels, gum, old phones, unpaid bills, junk mail, your ex's sweater, hopes, dreams or goldfish down this toilet" crap written on them now so it's difficult to avoid. I never thought I'd long for the days when corporations spoke to you like they were corporations.

idunnosomename

since Virgin lost all the UK rail franchises I dont think you have the "hello... it's me... the toilet" things anymore

Kankurette

Quote from: purlieu on July 17, 2021, 11:32:31 PM
It's all Innocent's fault. Their entire brand was based around the name, so the whole 'product is talking to you in simplistic terms' schtick was part of it. It didn't bother me, because it was a marketing thing and had at least some charm to it. And then every fucking brand decided to copy it. It's definitely aimed more at things that, shall we say, might be appreciated by 'hipster' types - so vegan stuff, craft beer and so on - but even train toilets have the "please don't flush nappies, sanitary towels, paper towels, gum, old phones, unpaid bills, junk mail, your ex's sweater, hopes, dreams or goldfish down this toilet" crap written on them now so it's difficult to avoid. I never thought I'd long for the days when corporations spoke to you like they were corporations.
I hate those cunts. Their smoothies aren't that great either.

Icehaven

The worst thing about the talking train toilets was the misrepresentation. If a toilet could actually talk it'd hardly be bothered about wether or not it had goldfish flushed down it, it's deep trauma from the horror of it's daily experiences would probably have left it incapable of language and able only to emit tortured guttural screams. That'd put people off flushing anything down it at all.

Kankurette

Or it might be a pervert with a hardcore scat fetish.

idunnosomename

"Hello. It's me, the toilet. I just wanted to ask if you wouldn't mind not flushing wet wipes, sanitary towels or nappies? The usual stuff's totally cool, I mean, I knew what I was getting myself into when I applied...to be a toilet"

Always wonder who did the voice for that. I imagine it's not top of her CV

flotemysost

I do worry that when all this kooky phrasing is applied to things like public toliets, energy services etc. it could potentially be confusing or alienating to people who aren't fluent/confident in their English.

Like, if a brand wants to go for a "tee-hee, be a cheeky monkey and buy a producty-woducty from little old us!" tone in their marketing then that's up to them, no one's obliged to engage with it, but if you have no choice other than to translate twee bollocks just to go about your life then that's a bit problematic I think.

buttgammon

Quote from: flotemysost on July 18, 2021, 10:54:24 AM
I do worry that when all this kooky phrasing is applied to things like public toliets, energy services etc. it could potentially be confusing or alienating to people who aren't fluent/confident in their English.

Like, if a brand wants to go for a "tee-hee, be a cheeky monkey and buy a producty-woducty from little old us!" tone in their marketing then that's up to them, no one's obliged to engage with it, but if you have no choice other than to translate twee bollocks just to go about your life then that's a bit problematic I think.

Never thought of that - excellent point!

I wonder if other languages have something analogous, or if it's just the English-speaking world (mainly Britain) that's regressed to toddlerspeak.

flotemysost

One of my colleagues, who's Italian and speaks excellent English (but obviously isn't familiar with every phrase and idiom), once called me over to her desk because she didn't understand an email from another colleague, who had replied to something with "Winner winner, chicken dinner!".

I could only apologise, on behalf of the nation.


buttgammon

Quote from: flotemysost on July 18, 2021, 11:27:47 AM
One of my colleagues, who's Italian and speaks excellent English (but obviously isn't familiar with every phrase and idiom), once called me over to her desk because she didn't understand an email from another colleague, who had replied to something with "Winner winner, chicken dinner!".

I could only apologise, on behalf of the nation.



Despite not knowing all of the idioms, I suspect it's your Italian colleague who has the better English of the two.

Echo Valley 2-6809

Quote from: Kankurette on July 18, 2021, 09:28:36 AM
Or it might be a pervert with a hardcore scat fetish.

        ☆
                                                ☆
"It's like sweetcorns and heaven are in my mouth" - Emily Clarke   
                   
                           ☆

zomgmouse

Quote from: idunnosomename on July 17, 2021, 11:49:28 PM
since Virgin lost all the UK rail franchises I dont think you have the "hello... it's me... the toilet" things anymore

amazing. did this really happen? "hello... it's me... the toilet... oh you're... oh ok. GLGURGHGLLL god damn it can we really not-- GRLURUGHLHL fuck's sake you expect me to do this job every day with a HGLGLGHRHRR mouthful of shit. that's fine. i quit-- WHOOOOOOSHHHHHHHH OH YEAH THAT HIT THE SPOT UNGH FUCK I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID THIS IS REALLY ABSOLUTELY WORTH EVER GLOBULE OF SHIT FOR THAT FLUSHY FEELING OHHHHH YEAH fuck ungh ok. thanks... come again..."

touchingcloth

Quote from: flotemysost on July 18, 2021, 10:54:24 AM
I do worry that when all this kooky phrasing is applied to things like public toliets, energy services etc. it could potentially be confusing or alienating to people who aren't fluent/confident in their English.

Like, if a brand wants to go for a "tee-hee, be a cheeky monkey and buy a producty-woducty from little old us!" tone in their marketing then that's up to them, no one's obliged to engage with it, but if you have no choice other than to translate twee bollocks just to go about your life then that's a bit problematic I think.

Hee hee, if your leggy weggies are disabley wabley then you can go bot bot in this-tee hee hee-toilety woilety 🙊. If you have an oopsy woopsy 👎pull the cordy wordy all reddy weddy like a posty box for emergency wergency assistency wistency 🚑.

idunnosomename

Quote from: zomgmouse on July 18, 2021, 12:31:08 PM
amazing. did this really happen? "hello... it's me... the toilet... oh you're... oh ok. GLGURGHGLLL god damn it can we really not-- GRLURUGHLHL fuck's sake you expect me to do this job every day with a HGLGLGHRHRR mouthful of shit. that's fine. i quit-- WHOOOOOOSHHHHHHHH OH YEAH THAT HIT THE SPOT UNGH FUCK I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID THIS IS REALLY ABSOLUTELY WORTH EVER GLOBULE OF SHIT FOR THAT FLUSHY FEELING OHHHHH YEAH fuck ungh ok. thanks... come again..."
enjoy the experience of trying to have a wee somewhere around Rugby. all its missing is the smell of a festering septic tank.
https://youtu.be/iN1IbQHbknc?t=59

Fambo Number Mive

Why is being a toilet on a Virgin Train a step up from being a public toilet? Is it a subtle dig at public services? "Ooh, I'm so much happier now I'm part of the private sector!


And if the toilet was already a public toilet it wouldn't need to apply to be a toilet, it would just need to apply to be relocated. Hearing a human voice talking about applying to be a toilet does feel a bit like some fetish pon clip.


Just imagining a Virgin Trains toilet having a fag break outside the station, it's lid going up and down as it chats away to a toilet from another train.

Fambo Number Mive

They should have gone for a more menacing voice . "Right you fuck, I've come alive and if you deposit anything in me that's not shut, piss or the paper thin toilet paper that tears when you try and remove it from the holder that you get on trains I'll swallow you whole and spit you onto the tracks at Derby covered in the shit of a dozen commuters. Got that? OK, commence defecation and I hope there isn't too much sweetcorn. I fucking hate sweetcorn."

idunnosomename

I mean public toilets dont have people pissing all over the seat as they get thrown about at 125 mph, and also have the dignity of a sewage system.

what is grim is that the writing for the toilet announcement does have proper comedy cadence in the script as well as the voice actor. as does "hope, dreams and goldfish". I wonder what the budget was for each "funny toilet" project. how people coordinated the project? did it go through rewrites? did anyone think "hang on, this is weird, giving the toilet the voice of a young lady like it's some sort of horrible body horror torture porn like a Waita Uziga manga"

Mr Farenheit

They put a whole load of phrases into the scipts for voice actors and then program it accordingly, like a soundboard.

Quote from: National Express Talking Toilet Script-Hi there, I'm the toilet! Come in and take a seat, standing's ok too!
-Have you brought some dinner for me? Or maybe just a refreshing drink?
-Over here, its me- the toilet! yes, here... that's it.
-Let's just close the door there, don't want everybody to see us and get jealous hehehe
-Please close the door, think of all the other passengers who will smell my dinner!

-Ooooh there you go, sit yourself down, yeeeees all nice and comfy!
-Oh I think you're going to have a LOVELY dinner for me aren't you?
-Come on, you can do it!
-eeeeeuuuurgh, push! you're doing a great job!
-I don't like to rush you but there are lots of other people that would like to visit me! It's hardly fair to them if you sit here all day now is it?
-Ooooh here it comes, I can't wait!
-mmmm ngongngon nyum-nyum oh delicious, nyum-ngam-nnnyom
-nyum nyum oh more please ngyam-ngyam-snaffle oh you're SPOILING me
-nyum- oh its delicious but can we -splutter - pause and clear some of the dinner - bwaaauf ~gag~  please- lovely ~gag~ as it is
-please-gluc-just push the flush
-gyuuu I'm choking ~splutter~

-oh my I am FULL! What a delicious dinner you gave me! yummy!
-my my! that was the BEST dinner I've had all week!
-oh, THANK you that was a nice little snack
-nothing today? oh well, not to worry, I wasn't really hungry anyway

-Ooooh a nice drinky! I can't wait!
- ~glug~ ~glug~ oooh so refreshing
- ~gulp~ oh, THANK you, so ~glug~ much
-Oopsie, just missed!
-over here hehe, let's not waste that lovely drink!
-please you're spilling your drink all over the floor
-mmmmm what a LOVELY refreshing drink that was!

-oops, missed a bit! not to worry just wipe it up with a little toilet paper
-oops, missed a bit! not to worry just pick it up with a little toilet paper
-don't forget to clean up the little 'accident' hehehe
-now you wouldn't leave your floor at home like that would you?
-please, let's be nice and clean up the floor and we'll say no more about it
-look, its all over the walls and everything, I'm afraid you're going to have clean it up
-please, don't leave me in this state, what will the next customer say?
-come on... there's only one of me for the whole bus, think of the other passengers
-ouch!
-ooooyah! stop that please!
-oooouuuwww! my seat!
-AAAAAARGGGHH MY SEAT, NOOOOO NOT MY SEAT!!!!
-AAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHH
-NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
-AAAAUUUGHHHH!
-HELP! HELP! I'M BEING VANDALISED!!
-PASSENGERS! PASSENGERS! YOUR TOILET IS UNDER ATTACK! HELP ME PLEASE!
-I AUTHORISE ANYONE ON THIS BUS TO BREAK DOWN THE DOOR!
-Oh THANK GOD you came! There he is! Stop him! AAARGH! Stop him! OOOUAAAWW Before its too late!
-NO! NOOOO!! STOP HIM! don't JOIN HIM! AAAAAARRRRGHH!
-AAAAAARGGGHHH OOOOAAAUUUGGGHH! how could you?! AAAARGHH  NOOOOOO
-UUUH
-UH!
-uuuu I- I----- I'm---- dy---ing
-so....... weak..... (cough)
-tell them...... I.......t r ie d---- to
-.......be.....a.....good
-toilet
-............

Fambo Number Mive

Some interesting background information on the talking toilets:

Quote...Virgin Trains opened up a contest to be the new voice of its talking toilets in 2019. "EastEnders" star Dean Gaffney helped publicize the search with a video of him saying "toilet" repeatedly to get into the role. Over 5,200 potential poop-greeters applied for the role when the campaign had a target of just 400 entries to be considered a success, according to The Drum. The competition was big enough that it angered the actors union Equity, who took issue with Virgin soliciting unpaid voiceover work for its toilets from the general public in what would typically be a paid role, per Railnews. It was no small role, either, with over 38 million riders taking Virgin Trains per year at the time, according to North Wales Live.

"Matt from Manchester" ended up being the winner, and he was presumably digitized with a laser a la Jeff Bridges in Tron and transported into the mainframe before breaking the fourth wall to identify himself. He sounded cool with it, though.

Sadly—or not, given some of the reactions online—the toilets on Virgin Trains' old lines in the U.K. no longer talk to you. Matt's voice wasn't on for long. Avanti West Coast took over the operation of Virgin Trains' lines in December 2019, the Jersey Evening Post reports. Shortly after the switchover, Avanti signed a £642 million ($877,935,000 U.S.) deal to refurbish and upgrade the ex-Virgin Trains lines, which included updating the trains' toilets—and silencing the voice...

https://www.thedrive.com/news/39082/i-can-see-you-the-strange-story-of-virgin-trains-oddly-aware-talking-toilets

Quote from: Mr Farenheit on July 18, 2021, 04:40:37 PM
They put a whole load of phrases into the scipts for voice actors and then program it accordingly, like a soundboard.

Smashing post.

Icehaven

Quote from: flotemysost on July 18, 2021, 11:27:47 AM
One of my colleagues, who's Italian and speaks excellent English (but obviously isn't familiar with every phrase and idiom), once called me over to her desk because she didn't understand an email from another colleague, who had replied to something with "Winner winner, chicken dinner!".

I could only apologise, on behalf of the nation.

Haha! Not laughing at your colleague obviously, that's just such a perfect example of the point in the other post.

buttgammon


PlanktonSideburns


Kankurette

Christ, I hate all that Wojak/soyboy crap so much. 'Hurr hurr, eating vegetables is for WIMPS.'

poodlefaker

With their current advert, Innocent have truly excelled themselves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLcgkY2g3pU

*content warning*

Paul Calf

That kind of marketing is a symptom of abundance - if everyone  has loads of everything, you need to distinguish your product from all the others.

As we head back into scarcity, it will gradually fade.

Quote from: flotemysost on July 18, 2021, 11:27:47 AM
"Winner winner, chicken dinner!".

I could only apologise, on behalf of the nation.

That was popularised a few years ago in PUBG




PlanktonSideburns

Quote from: Kankurette on July 18, 2021, 10:26:57 PM
Christ, I hate all that Wojak/soyboy crap so much. 'Hurr hurr, eating vegetables is for WIMPS.'

It's ultimately silly isn't it? Reading it just makes me want to be even more sensitive and cringe and camp and fey in my daily life