Norovirus FUCKDOWN

[Fambo Number Mive]

As if covid FUCKDOWN was not enough:

England is experiencing an unseasonable rise in winter vomiting virus, officials are warning.

Public Health England (PHE) says 154 norovirus outbreaks have been reported in the last five weeks, compared to an average of 53 over the same time period in the previous five years.

Most have been in educational settings, particularly in nurseries.

Cases are returning to pre-pandemic levels across all age groups and settings and people should be on alert.

Symptoms include sudden, projectile vomiting and diarrhoea.

It is very contagious - people sick with it can shed billions of norovirus particles. It only takes a few of these virus particles to infect others.

[BlodwynPig]

Called it weeks ago and escalated it.

Luckily I wasn't the only one and this is a priority (even more so than Covid).

[George Oscar Bluth II]

This thing scares me more than covid. Fuck this. Nope.

[bgmnts]

This is what people just don't get about covid and the precautionary measures that impede on their beloved freedoms. It's not just about fucking covid you fucking stupid horrid cunts.

Knowing that most people who will suffer will probably be the people most blameless - because, let's face it, that's how the cosmos works for some reason - really makes me sad and angry.

Want everyone dead tbh.

[badaids]

I had this a couple of years ago.  It really did last exactly 24 hours and in that time I shit myself 27 times.  Eventually I had shit myself so much that it was just clear slime coming out my arse.  Stomach lining or something I suppose.  And obviously projectile vomiting at the same time as shitting.  It was fucking horrible, basically 24 hours wishing that you would just die.  2/5 stars.

[Alberon]

Me and the Mrs had this about ten years ago.

To be honest I didn't suffer too bad with it. Just had to run to the toilet a few times, threw up a couple of times and felt rubbish. Mrs Alberon, however, was like a double-ended fountain, and of course only one of those ends could be pointed at the toilet at any one time. A few hours into it she was saying she just wanted to die and later admitted she pretty much meant it.

My father-in-law turned up to drop off supplies wearing a facemask (which was amusing at the time).

[Sebastian Cobb]

My nan and grandad got this in a b&b and the owners were like, nah we'll refund you and pay your taxi home just get the fuck out before everyone else starts on a double-ender nice one cheers.

[Ferris]

Got it from a Thai place in Toronto about 4 years ago. Most ill I've ever been, yellow slime out both ends non stop for probably 2 days, the pits.

...the norovirus wasn't much better!!

[shiftwork2]

I really don't recommend catching noro, but it has been around for decades and like a lot of catchies will experience an empowered resurgence.  Extremely unlikely to kill you, or cause you any lasting damage.  Let's keep topics in this sub-forum in perspective.

[badaids]

Yeah, the worst thing was that at first you run to the bogs and try to get everything in the bowel, but it's basically impossible.  So you end up the the most indignifiable position in that you become resigned to and have to accept the fact that you will just shit and puke on yourself.

[Ferris]

I really don't recommend catching noro, but it has been around for decades and like a lot of catchies will experience an empowered resurgence.  Extremely unlikely to kill you, or cause you any lasting damage.  Let's keep topics in this sub-forum in perspective.

Over ONE HUNDRED extra people in the UK (population 67 million) got this though, can't you read mate? Proper FUCKDOWN if ever I've heard it.

I got to use my utterly shit "Thai food/2 days of shitting" anecdote so I'm all in favour of this thread tbh.

[Zetetic]

Over ONE HUNDRED extra people in the UK (population 67 million) got this though, can't you read mate?

Outbreaks, England, in fairness.

I suspect this is just a cultural misunderstanding, and that a lot of these people are simply choosing to shit themselves now that restrictions have been eased.

[Pranet]

I read somewhere, possibly on here, about someone who had a stroke brought on by dry heaving while he had the norovirus.

Had this twice, it was horrible. 5 day job for me. You have the fun explosive part, where you get to shit and projectile vomit at the same time, then settle down to feeling like shit with interludes of dry heaving over a bucket. Bit like having the worst hangover you have ever had for 5 days straight.

Amazing the weight I lost but it soon goes back on again.

[Ferris]

Outbreaks, England, in fairness.

I suspect this is just a cultural misunderstanding, and that a lot of these people are simply choosing to shit themselves now that restrictions have been eased.

Perhaps the persistent shitting and vomiting is in response to the penalty shootout the other night? There's no way to know for sure I suppose.

[shiftwork2]

I had a stomach bug last week and that did give me pause.  I have never had anything like it previously and wondered if noro was setting in.  In the end I just felt shit at work with mild stomach cramps.  Got home and could only lie down as I felt so rotten, then got up and projectile-vomited for a couple of minutes (brown, despite having eaten nothing), felt terrific, slept like a babby and felt like I'd worked my abs to hell and back the next day.

I don't want noro but the 'squeezing a toothpaste tube cut open at both ends' aspect as well as the 'empty vessel' concept left me feeling a little cheated.

[popcorn]

you run to the bogs and try to get everything in the bowel

I've misunderstood defecation my entire life.

[Noodle Lizard]

It's not especially tasteful to say, but I'm far more frightened of noroviruses than COVID. As an emetophobe (and general "illnessphobe"), the last year or so has brought everyone to my level, ever since I learned about the existence of noroviruses (they've been around forever, by the way - there's no end date where "we've beat the virus" and any vaccine efforts seem to be futile).

So have fun with that. It's awful.

[BlodwynPig]

Puking and shitting (and wanking) as i type this

[Zetetic]

Reports of "Noro Parties" in the 'shires. Hushed up, for obvious reasons.

[non capisco]

I think I had the norovirus whatever christmas it was that Matt Smith regenerated into Peter Capaldi. Puked for two days with unprecendented force and shat the bed twice. I liked Matt Smith but I wasn't that upset.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Apparently it's really common on cruise ships, as if the thought of those isn't bad enough.

[Jack Shaftoe]

I had a stomach bug last week and that did give me pause.  I have never had anything like it previously and wondered if noro was setting in.  In the end I just felt shit at work with mild stomach cramps.  Got home and could only lie down as I felt so rotten, then got up and projectile-vomited for a couple of minutes (brown, despite having eaten nothing), felt terrific, slept like a babby and felt like I'd worked my abs to hell and back the next day.

Huh, that's pretty much what I had last week. Stomach cramps and feeling bloated, which I thought was bad indigestion at first, although I've never had indigestion in my life. Went on for 48hrs though. In the end I did a tactical sick at about 2am (apologies, the wife) and felt better almost immediately. Very weird. A friend's daughter had the same thing that week and I did wonder if it might be a form of norovirus, but no-one else in my family got it, so dunno.

Annoying though, had some friends down for a few days and that was my first chance to see them for a year. Or pretty much anyone, to be honest. Hey ho.

[Drygate]

Cab doesn't want to lock down for this too?

[Sebastian Cobb]

Huh, that's pretty much what I had last week. Stomach cramps and feeling bloated, which I thought was bad indigestion at first, although I've never had indigestion in my life. Went on for 48hrs though. In the end I did a tactical sick at about 2am (apologies, the wife) and felt better almost immediately. VEey weird. A friend's daughter had the same thing that week and I did wonder if it might be a form of norovirus, but no-one else in my family got it, so dunno.

Annoying though, had some friends down for a few days and that was my first chance to see them for a year. Or pretty much anyone, to be honest. Hey ho.

only time I've had indegestion is when I tried making my own pot noodles. makes you think.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

It's nothing to shit your pants about.

[Satchmo Distel]

Stick a flare up your arse to prevent projectile diarrhoea.

[bgmnts]

As someone who has bowel issues anyway, the thought of catching a noro type thing scares me way more than covid.

[BlodwynPig]

As someone who has bowel issues anyway, the thought of catching a noro type thing scares me way more than covid.

Look, we need your shit. Get shitting to support your country.

[Gurke and Hare]

I've had it twice, both caught at friends' kids' 1st birthday parties. So don't ever go to a first birthday party, you'll definitely get norovirus.

[SpiderChrist]

Look, we need your shit. Get shitting to support your country.

Three a day. I'm giving til it hurts.