Textsynth thread

[Fambo Number Mive]

A more general thread as opposed to the ones in the Only Fools and Horses thread.

https://bellard.org/textsynth/

"Hello. It's me, the toilet. I just wanted to ask if you wouldn't mind not flushing wet wipes, sanitary towels or nappies? The usual stuff's totally cool, I mean, I knew what I was getting myself into when I applied...to be a toilet,"

"Yeah, it's a great job. Y'know, I used to be a public toilet and let me tell you, this is a step up!"

"But what's this?" a voice asks from the doorway.

"Oh, someone must have forgotten to flush the toilet. I'll do it."

"Oh, thank you so much. Your kind gesture will be most welcome."

"Hey, this isn't my kind gesture. This is how I always do it."

The toilet sighs, the sink splashes and she looks down at her boots. "Just don't flush it. It'll wash out in the end, trust me."

Laughter rings out, echoing into the corridors, as the girls move on.

"Whoa, I'm like that. I'm a really big softie," says the toilet. "But I just don't know what to do with all this shit that's flooding the place."

##  30

"I don't have any more toilet roll!" I yell.

"Well, I'm not the only

"Hello. It's me, the toilet. I just wanted to ask if you wouldn't mind not flushing wet wipes, sanitary towels or nappies? The usual stuff's totally cool, I mean, I knew what I was getting myself into when I applied...to be a toilet,"

"Yeah, it's a great job. Y'know, I used to be a public toilet and let me tell you, this is a step up!"

"Okay, well...thanks. Bye."

"Good job, toilet."

"Thanks. See ya."

The above is supposed to be a satirical story by a member of our Facebook group, the "Laugh-Out-Loud Club" , to make people think. But you are reading it, so it must be the Truth! Right?

Well, I'm not sure. I have seen many a good toilet story on the internet over the past few years, but this is different. This is the internet, so there must be hundreds, thousands, a legion of toilets out there that are just as weird, and I'm not talking about the ones where you sit down on the potty and wait for the next flush! This toilet story is different in the fact that I have found no other sites that report similar stories, and I've sent two or three emails to people on the list that I belong to (as I did in my

[PlanktonSideburns]

The wall of flesh glistened in flourscent lights, pulsing and winking with life like a giant amoeba.

The beast's flesh seemed to writhe under the harsh industrial lights, as if something was wrong. As a young adult a few years ago I tried to make a monster-like creature for a roleplaying group. After much trial and error, I finally created the beast of a hundred thousand limbs that I've always wanted. It took me days to sculpt it. The arms were mostly finished, and the torso was almost done. The feet and head had been made, but that night I was stuck. In the end, the arms were the only finished things, but I didn't think that they looked right. I was just getting started on finishing off the torso, and then I realized that my arms were a few years out of date with the rest of the body. But still, I was proud of the fact that I had created the beast of a hundred thousand limbs, and

[Phil209]

James May, Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond introduce their 10 favourite Top Gear clips:

* When Jeremy Clarkson makes some bizarre noises in the middle of the first ever Top Gear race, which Tim Healy says "actually sounds pretty realistic to me."

* When Jeremy Clarkson eats a curry in a hot tube on "Stig of the Year" and says, "A bit spicy, but the best curry I've had for a long, long time."

* Jeremy Clarkson drives a car through a wall during "Hamster Heroin".

* When Del Williams reveals a bit of the "Stig of the Year" footage to Jeremy Clarkson in "The Stig Has Spoken".

* The race where Jeremy Clarkson and an American man name "Eddie" (who is really called Richard Hamblin) race a Ferrari through the snow and get a flat. "It was great," said Tim, "but the fact that Jeremy actually managed to get them to do it again after taking them to Switzerland for the first time was a bit of a kick. They did it for the money."

* The episode in which Jeremy Clarkson takes a car to space. "I think he's gone too far now," said Tim. "That was one of the best Top Gear episodes ever. That was quite brilliant."

"The whole space thing was one of the things we discussed on the set," said Tim. "How to film it, what they should be wearing and that kind of thing. You had to film it in that big empty space in the studio. I thought they did a marvellous job with it. I went in and watched it. They did a marvellous job."

"The big thing was the time frame they had. That was the one that most concerned me. When the time came, they were going to take about half a day to get into the pod. They started filming it at 12, and it was finished at 1am. That was a bit too long. You have to be thinking that if it takes you half a day to do, then there's two or three hours of TV in the end. We didn't want that. That was going to be really, really tight. But when the time came, you watch the film and it all works out. That whole time was done to perfection. The only problem they had was that at the end, they took the pod out before they'd got the money in. And they didn't pay the boys for overtime.

[Replies From View]

They are farming out HS Art to some kind of shite AI thing. It's all very sad. The HS Art is crap, it was never good, and it's been ruined.

So there's no more new art to see here. And most old art is just a lot of shitty pixels with text telling you what is going on. Nothing more.

And what is there to see here, really? The same shit is being spewed out over and over again by the same shite artists. There's nothing new. Nobody is learning anything here. All these people just parrot each others' ideas and do shitty art.

So what's left here?

Here are the best artists around:

AiAi, who just does beautiful and amazing art. It's amazing. And he's only a teenager, but he's amazing. He's also just a teenager. If he had more time on his hands he could be the most talented artist on here, and not just on the Internet.

Then there

[zomgmouse]

Once upon a time there was a princess. She was born in an exotic land with bright colours, a warm sunshine and tall, thin trees with a million branches and flowers. And of course, the princess had a big sister and an equally annoying brother. They were quite an annoying brood, especially the brother, a handsome, arrogant and arrogant prince.

Oh and then there was a mean dragon in a big, green castle, with gold-coloured walls and a long, long staircase. This dragon was mean. He used to wake the princess and her brother up in the middle of the night, by blowing in their windows. Sometimes he did it for fun. Sometimes he did it to annoy them. It didn't really matter which. One night, when they were little, the princess asked her brother how he could sleep. He said that the dragon is a bit of a coward and that's why he prefers to sneak up behind you and try to scare you while you're sleeping. The dragon has a bit of a problem, [fed the above back into it] though.

He likes to fly.

But...

...but he can't fly away from the castle.

So he just sits there, in the corner of the castle, and waits for you to fall asleep. One morning, the princess' big sister said, "Let's go and see the dragon!" So they went, and the dragon jumped out of the castle and went flying out over the land, until he was miles away, in the middle of the sky. They looked back and saw that he was getting smaller and smaller. Soon he was a dot in the distance. And they were flying home.

The dragon could not fly at all.

So the dragon is still there, on the land, looking like a fat old man in a funny-looking hat. And he's still there, in the corner of the castle, and he's still there, and... well, he's still there. And... and... and...

[fed the above back into it]

...he waits.

He waits for you to fall asleep.

And when you wake up, your room is dark.

And it is black and you are so happy.

"I'm awake! I'm awake!"

And then you hear a sound and a shape moves. It's the dragon. It's the dragon and... he's not a dragon. It's a princess and she comes out into the dark and stands next to you and says, "Princesses don't sneak up on you and startle you. You're a princess now, and you should be able to sleep as long as you want."

And you both snuggle together, and you tell her that you are so happy that she's finally come to be in your castle.

You are not happy.

You wish she would go away.

* * *

* * * * * * * * *

So now [fed the above back into it] you know what happens when you fall asleep. But the day still hasn't come, and you think it hasn't come because you've slept too much. You think the day hasn't come because you've been lying awake in your room, thinking about the day that hasn't come yet. You know what I mean. You think it hasn't come because you've been lying awake in your room, thinking about the day that hasn't come yet.

And you think that this is because you don't really know what will happen when you fall asleep and the day hasn't come. You are in your bed, thinking about the day that hasn't come yet, and you are thinking about this because you were thinking about other things, too. And because you were thinking about other things, you couldn't think about how to prepare for the day that hasn't come yet.

But maybe you can make it come.

Maybe you can make the day that hasn't come yet come

[Huxleys Babkins]

I say bempt luego, bempt luego, where de party at?
I say bempt luego, bempt luego, get de party on!
You got to get de party on!

(Chorus)
So get out ya boogie shoes, put on ya disco pants
We've got to make some noise to beat the pain.
Come on y'all, step into de light.
I say bempt luego, bempt luego, where de party at?
I say bempt luego, bempt luego, get de party on!
You got to get de party on!

[Greg Torso]

The Beatles... what a joke." "Yeah, what a joke." "All right, here we go." "One, two, three, four." "Yeah!" "Come on, man." "What you looking at, huh?" "Yeah, right on, right on, right on." "Right on." "Oh!" "No, no." "Not me." "Not me, man." "I don't want to do that." "Hey, it's not me." "No, no, no." "I don't wanna do that." "This is your shit, right?" "I'm not doing that, all right?" "I'm not gonna do it, no." "Hey, I didn't get your name, man." "Hey, man." "What's your name?" "Your name is?" "Your name is?" "My name's not on that!" "Just sit there, all right?" "What's your name?" "My name's not on that, man!" "What's your name?" "What?" "My name's not on that!" "What's your name?" "My name's not on that!" "What's your name?" "What's your name?" "What's your name?" "What's your name?" "I know you're not going to do that, okay?" "You think I'm gonna do that, man?" "I'm not gonna do that." "That's not me, man." "That's not me." "What's your name?" "Hey, man." "Hey, man." "Do you think I would do that, man?" "That's not my name, man." "That's not me, all right?" "That's not me." "Hey, if you think I'm going to put my name on that, you're..." "That's not me, man." "That's not me." "That's not me." "This is my friend's name." "Okay?" "This is his name." "Do you think I'm going to put my name on that?" "Hey, man." "What's your name?" "You think I'm gonna do that, man?" "Man, he was a big dude." "You know." "He had a big white t-shirt on, man, and it was..." "Yeah, I know who that is." "But it's like a little kid." "You know, like, what are you talking about?" "Like a little kid." "That's not him." "He wasn't a kid." "He's like, 25 or something like that, you know?" "What's your name?" "If that was him, why was he wearing a T-shirt?" "But how do you know it's the same dude?" "We got a lot of dudes in here." "I got a lot of dudes in here, too." "You do?" "Sure." "This is a..." "See, the thing is, you have to have the..." "No, that's the thing." "A lot of dudes come through, you know." "I mean, you do get a lot of dudes." "Right." "People like that kind of thing, man." "Not really." "This is who we have." "I mean, I'm telling you." "Like, I got all these dudes in here and the first dude that comes through is a big white dude with a T-shirt." "You know what I mean?" "A big, big white T-shirt." "That's what I'm saying." "Like, that's a big dude, all right?" "Yeah, yeah, but..." "But we have all these dudes in here." "How do you know?" "That is my point." "Like, you know..." "How do you know it's the same dude?" "Like, how do you know he doesn't work at the bank?" "I mean..." "Or, like..." "Yeah, I know it's him." "I know it's him." "What?" "The money." "He got a couple of twenties, some fives." "I know he's been here." "Why don't we just go get some pizza?" "All right?" "No, no." "We'll just..." "We'll do that." "We'll just..." "Let's just go get some pizza and talk about it." "What is he doing here?" "There's no "here." He's at your bank." "What?" "Wait, how did he get my bank card?" "We got..." "How did he get my bank card?" "I thought we were together." "We're together." "He's just..." "He's at your bank." "He just came through..." "There's no "he."

[PlanktonSideburns]

Completed Text:
A

In the mid-1990s, the Internet emerged as a tool for commercial use, and new websites and tools appeared. One of them was Live Journal.

After being an avid online shopper in the early to mid-1990s, before it was as pervasive a tool, I started to notice that Live Journal had suddenly become very popular. I even had a Live Journal account for awhile. I really liked the community, but I could never understand the fuss that was happening about this site. It seemed like all of my family and friends were on this website, and I felt like I was on vacation in Paris when I couldn't leave. I didn't understand the fascination with Live Journal. Eventually, it faded from my memory.

As a child and teen, I spent a lot of time alone, reading in my room. When I was around eleven or twelve, I started to watch movies with my friends at the Varsity Theater in the middle of downtown Philadelphia.

[PlanktonSideburns]

B

In the present study, there was a strong interaction between the genotype and the type of diet fed. Animals that were fed on the CSD showed a significant increase of *Lactobacillus* counts (Table [2](#T2){ref-type="table"}) as compared to those of the CD. The same pattern was observed for the total bacteria counts, which were higher for the CD than for the CSD. The reason for this is unclear; however, the diet seems to act differently on the species and genus levels than on the total bacteria count. In our previous study, the CD increased the total bacteria counts, but when these animals were switched to the CSD they showed a decrease of the total bacteria counts \[[@B22]\]. Further studies of the microbiota composition with culture-based and molecular techniques will help to elucidate the different responses of the bacterial species to different diets.

The intestinal microbiota appears to

[Greg Torso]

The worst thing about these shitty AI programs is that you can't actually get off the train.

"There are no such thing as lies, only truths you don't know."

-- Michael Kinsley

"The real danger is not that technology will exceed our ability to control it, but that our small number of human beings will be so blinded by new powers that they will lose the ability to control it."

-- Eric Drexler, in The Engines of Creation, 1986.

"The only way to win the cyberwar is to have no territory or money."

-- John Robb, A Newbie in Cyberspace, 1994

"Your task, should you decide to perform it, is to imagine a world in which all the people and their machines are interconnected as one single unit. Imagine further that all information of all kinds is exchanged without any sort of restriction, either physically or intellectually. You must imagine further that all things are possible."

-- Philip K Dick, "A static, inert matter, all of it is as hard as the floor. No room for the fingers. No time for the lips."

"There is no problem so complex that a solution can't be invented to fit the problem. The only problem is that the solution to any problem does not always work, not even temporarily, and it never goes away until the solution to the problem is invented."

-- J.A. Wheeler

[Cloud]

My Little Pony: Authoritarianism Is Magic


Once upon a time in the magical land of Equestria, there was a pony who lived a happy life in the bustling city of Ponyville. However, a certain pony who was the "council member-at-large" (and also the mayor) had a problem that needed solving. This pony knew that someone had broken the city's security system, and the city needed to be secured before something bad happened. He came up with a plan to solve his problem, and the end result was a security system that would never be broken, and that would make sure that all his plans worked out. Now we'll be taking a look at how he achieved this security system, and how it functions, so you can use it too.

Contents

Step 1: The Security Plan

This pony decided that the best way to create a secure city was to have everypony do their own jobs, and to have a very strong police force to oversee things. The ponies in Ponyville thought they were doing their jobs by doing their

[Replies From View]

The Oasis album "Be Here Now" is finally getting the more widespread recognition it deserves. For years fans of the band have been waiting for their music to go beyond the cult-following it has always enjoyed.

"Be Here Now" has been recorded since the autumn of last year, and was officially released today. It's a mixture of 'old' and 'new' stuff, including covers of Radiohead, Nirvana and the Stone Roses, and a few songs written and recorded by Noel Gallagher (the one who was ousted from the band in 2008).

It's the most 'British' album the Gallagher brothers have made to date, and I have to say it's definitely one of my favourites. It's a very British record, the likes of which I never thought would see the light of day. It's very much "in your face" and "with attitude", and has some great songs on it.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Boris Johnson is a fucking cunt," she told Sky News. "He thinks that women should be quiet and not have a say and we should just let him get away with whatever he wants."

Calls for the Prime Minister to resign came a day after Mrs May triggered the formal process for her departure.

[Cloud]

On his last day as Prime Minister, Boris Johnson had a parting message for parliament.

"You are a bunch of miserable, self-dramatising, jealous f****** who spend all your time trying to destroy people's lives," he reportedly told MPs before the general election.

Now, more than six months on from the ballot and the man himself is gone, he has returned to the fray to continue his attacks on an opponent in an election that many predict he will win.

In a blistering broadside, the Tory MP accused former Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt of being "dishonest and hypocritical" and "an absolute disgrace."

Mr Johnson also took aim at Mr Hunt's leadership bid, calling it a "dreadful" "nasty, personal thing."

Writing in the Mail on Sunday, Mr Johnson also described Mr Hunt as "weak" and accused him of "wanting to rule over the ruins of Brexit.


----

This thing is fucking gold :D

[Fambo Number Mive]

Boris Johnson is a sausage roll. That's what I think – and I shouldn't be forced to think it. But I do. A sausage roll for breakfast, lunch, supper and teatime. And more than just sausage, too.

What's more, I don't think he is particularly bothered if the public think so.

In his first speech to a major Conservative conference, in Bournemouth on Monday, he said: "I like sausage rolls. I like them a lot." A few days earlier, he also revealed that he likes the "jelly and custard sandwich" at Greggs. On a visit to a bakery, his staff were "treated to a delicious sausage roll".

A more recent example was his first public appearance after his Brexit deal was defeated in Parliament, when he said: "I also love a sausage roll, not least on my way out of the House."

Boris Johnson is a sausage roll. You may have never eaten one. If so, you can stop right here, look at the ingredients on the packaging, and wonder how in the name of Peter Stringfellow this thing came into being. Sausage rolls were, it seems, a thing. They are the sort of thing you can't do well. "They are too big, too fiddly, and they taste like nothing," the New York Times says of sausage rolls.

But that was a long time ago. Today they are ubiquitous and easy to make. The trick, as the Guardian has explained, is to take "ordinary ingredients and do something clever with them, perhaps adding unexpected flavours." So it was to Boris Johnson that we took some ingredients.

He is made up of sausage meat, flour, water, eggs, "light stock", and cheese. So the ingredients were breadcrumbs, eggs, light stock, cheese, sausage meat, and eggs. Yes, eggs.

Boris Johnson is a fucking cunt. Not a fact, not an assumption, not a feeling. It is a verifiable, irrefutable fact. He is, right now, as he sits in front of the Mirror, 'a fucking cunt'.

He is a human-sized, human-bodied, human-fucking-thinking, human-being, human-being-breathing, walking, living, walking-tackling-shovelling-stinking-dribbling-cursing-cunt-fucking-cunt.

[Replies From View]

A Dreary List of Monsters by JRR Tolkien

Once upon a time there was a gunklebrubt called Weifclit who needed to go off and put a ring in a fire.  Along the way Weifclit met numerous tedious monsters such as the Orks (a creature who was not very bright), the Balrog (a creature who was not very big), the Necromancer (a creature who was not very scary), and the Goblin (a monster who had many friends).  The monsters did their best to kill Weifclit, but she had a very clever gunklebrubt named Gurgur who saved her from being eaten.

Now, Weifclit went off and put the ring in the fire and after the ordeal she felt pretty happy.  And then she had a baby.  But then things got a little tricky and then she went off and got another baby.  And then she met yet more interesting monsters like the Goblin, the Balrog, the Orc, the Troll, and the Kobold.  And then she had two babies.  And then she went on a trip with these goblins called the Great Goblin Council.  And then Weifclit decided that it would be a

[Replies From View]

Prime Minister "is a fat fuck" according to official independent report.

He is "delusional" and "unhinged" according to the report.

The report concludes that he is "fucking mad" according to the report.

And that he is "a fucking idiot" according to the report.

He "makes no sense" and he "fucked it up" according to the report.

He is "mad as fuck" and he is "unhinged" and he is "pissed off" according to the report.

He is also "bollocks" according to the report.

He has "bollocks" according to the report.

He is an idiot according to the report.

He is "a real fucking idiot" according to the report.

He is an idiot and he is "a fucking fuckwit

[Replies From View]

Prime Minister "is a fat fuck" according to official independent report.

The report by John Steed, a former British intelligence officer turned private investigator, reveals in its opening chapter that "Prime Minister (PM) has a body that should have been designed by a team of qualified dietitians, and looks like an elephant has been sitting on it for decades."

It goes on to say that "his belly was visible through his shirt as he strode into his office and waved at the crowd of photographers."

Steed's report then goes on to describe the Prime Minister's daily routine, which includes eating five breakfasts, two lunches and a dinner each day. It also discloses that the PM has been known to take three or four naps a day and is also prone to "belly-tattling" after lunch. The report says that on one occasion, the PM showed it was a habit of his to sit on a toilet with his trousers off and

[Cloud]

Taking over from the disastrous reign of Chris Chibnall, the new showrunner for Doctor Who will be Jane Tranter. She's got plenty of experience in the genre, with her previous show, Torchwood, and series One to Two of The Sarah Jane Adventures.

But, in all honesty, I've been so preoccupied with her potential involvement with Doctor Who that I haven't spent much time actually reading her work in the last year. As a result, I don't have much to say about it, except for the fact that I would like to see the show do something with her, to have a strong female presence in a position of authority on the show. She certainly has the talent, and if she's able to balance that out with the right amount of authority I would really like to see her show as good a Doctor as the old showrunners – so good that it would cause the show to become a show for, well, everyone, and not just a show for men.

[earl_sleek]

Francais avec Monsieur DUPONT-GUILLEMIN.

     Il faut que vous soyez instruit des actes de Monsieur Duroy
     parus et des raisons qui le rendent tel et je vous supplie
     de bien vouloir écrire à M. Dupont-Guillemin par l'intermédiaire
     de monsieur Dauvergne, à son tour intermédiaire, pour lui
     informer de ce qui vous est dû et de vos droits, en vous faisant
     connaître ce que, pour M. Duroy, c'est d'être _côte à côte_ avec
     la maison Rothschild, d'une part, et

[Fambo Number Mive]

Man stuck in M4 jam plays football on carriageway

An unusual stunt, captured on video and uploaded to Facebook, has gone viral and has drawn more than 400 comments and shares.

The video, filmed by a motorist in the M4, shows a man dressed as a fireman using a fire truck to play football with the traffic.

Police say the man is likely from Tewkesbury in Gloucestershire.

At the start of the footage he jumps out of the fire engine and begins to kick a football on to the road. He then jumps back into the fire engine and drives the truck away as passersby wave and cheer him on.

The man, believed to be between 25 and 30 years old, is then seen walking into the carriageway and taking a punt.

Fireman's ball: Motorist captured the stunt in the M4 (SWNS)

The unusual stunt happened yesterday around 7.40pm near junction 9 of the M

Labour commissions bare-arsed Dildo-Monkey to promote literacy to kids

Dildo Monkey (born Peter Nunn), a former teacher of physical education, won a competition to come up with the worst name for a sex aid. He chose to call it a dildo monkey, and submitted the idea to the British Sex Forum and was awarded the prize. The Sex Forum is a website for swingers. In April 2012, the dildo monkey began a tour of the UK for the National Literacy Campaign, promoting literacy with sex toys.

In August 2012, the dildo monkey, wearing a top hat and black mini-skirt, appeared on Britain's Got Talent, where she received a standing ovation from the audience. Dildo Monkey returned to the programme on 12 October and was eliminated in the quarter-finals. In November 2012, Dildo Monkey appeared on The Graham Norton Show and was presented with her own book to promote literacy in the UK.

Dildo Monkey has also appeared on the radio and television including: BBC's The One Show

After a quick search on the internet, he discovered the record was four M&M's stacked on top of each other. Determined to beat this, he spent hours on hundreds of attempts. Eventually, he managed to break the record by a whopping 3 M&M's.

So the moral of the story is "If you can stack three candy treats on top of each other in a single pile, that's a record. If you can do that again, you've created a world-record."

This is a fun story, as I have seen kids do the same. I remember one time when I was at my uncle's in California.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Labour commissions bare-arsed Dildo-Monkey to promote literacy to kids

There's one thing my kids have no argument with, other than my kids (and, it must be said, at least one other adult): the amount of shit the reading skills-promoting education establishment shovels down the children's gullet. The same can be said for the number of times I've had to tell people I teach that my kids love reading. If you don't, they have a list of books and authors they like that they've read in my home to prove it. A kid doesn't know what a Dildo Monkey is, let alone an animal-shaped rubber object shaped like a monkey, until they read Harry Potter, which they have.

Now, I should have known it was all part of the program. Even before I began using the bookworms as messengers on literacy missions to people – people who don't get that they have to start in their homes with their children before

"Jet from Gladiators to host a millennium barn dance at Yeovil aerodrome. Properly policed. It must not, repeat not, turn into an all-night rave."

This advice from Sir Nicholas Goodison, who is in charge of licensing, is not quite as reassuring to the organisers of "Dance at Yeovil" as it might seem. It seems the party would take place outside the aerodrome, which is the principal flying training school in the country. And the festival promises a "millennium barn dance", which would imply revellers dancing round a couple of aircraft which have just left the airfield to become barnacles on the seashore.

The organisers, meanwhile, say they want to be "the first dance festival to take place on an airport in the UK", and for many of us who were dragged to an early school disco in a hangar at Manchester airport on a Saturday evening, the prospect of dancing around aircraft parked on the tarmac is one we'd gladly put up with.

The only snag is that the police will have to be called out in advance to

Lynn! I've pierced my foot on a spike!

Lynn! My foot's caught in a thornbush!

Lynn! I fell down on a rusty nail!

Lynn! The ground gave way beneath my feet!

Lynn! I tripped and fell on my ear!

Lynn! I jumped in a pile of dung!

Lynn! I fell in a swampy pond!

Lynn! I had a terrible fall!

Lynn! You nearly beat me to death!

If you are having a day that's a little

Not fun

You can change your mood in three ways.

  1. You can make yourself happy
  2. You can make someone else happy
  3. You can make everyone happy

[Replies From View]

your dad is

your dad is eating a bowl of laffy taffy



Your dad is...

You're right

Your dad's gone

Your dad's gone fishing

Your dad's gone out

Your dad's gone out drinking

Your dad's gone out drinking on

Your dad's gone out drinking on a

Your dad's gone out drinking on a



Your dad's gone out drinking on a



Your dad's gone out drinking on a

Your dad's gone out drinking on a

Your dad's gone out drinking on a



Your dad's gone out drinking on a

Your dad's gone out drinking on a



Your dad's gone out drinking on a

Your dad's gone out drinking on a



Your dad's gone out drinking on a

Your dad's gone out drinking on a



Your dad's gone

[spaghetamine]

Earth is the ashtray of the gods." "When the universe was young, it was so hot that the temperature of the Earth was higher than the surface of the Sun." "Life was a luxury." "I mean, we're talking the dinosaurs." "They were like cats with wings." "They flew around the Earth and they just, you know, loved each other." "The Earth was just, like, a giant garden." "But it was the perfect garden." "It was such a pretty garden, and all the animals were having such a good time, they didn't even care that the Earth was about to explode." "But the Earth was waiting for something." "A day would come when it was time for the Earth to kill all of its life." "All of the life." "And then the Earth would move into the cold, dark space, the inter-solar-wind." "And there, in space, it would begin to cool." "And when the temperature dropped to a certain point,