Less that a year now till the Queen’s Platinum 70th anniversary blowout

[ajsmith2]

What will it be like? A super-spreader spectacular? Will we see an octagenarian Paul McCartney busting out 'Hey Jude' one more time upon the palace while a chorus line of Boris-masked dancers perform a salute to Bupa?

https://www.royal.uk/platinum-jubilee-central-weekend

[Paul Calf]

Charlie will knock her off before then.

[JamesTC]

Hard to believe it has been out for 70 years.

[thenoise]

I reckon she's got another 20 years in her, at least. Wouldn't surprise me if she outlived Charlie, maybe even Andy as well.

[idunnosomename]

the Duke of Edinburgh, who is still alive, and hence will do something

[bgmnts]

Praying to all the gods and the mighty oaks that she dies a day before the anniversary.

And instead of cancelling, the royal family just prop her up on thr balcony, weekend at bernies style.

[JamesTC]

the Duke of Edinburgh, who is still alive, and hence will do something

Something racist no doubt. Lovable scamp.

[Sebastian Cobb]

What will it be like? A super-spreader spectacular?

Disgusting.

[El Unicornio, mang]

I don't understand the system. Surely things like antimatter and californium should be there instead of oak, wine, stone

40th   Ruby   
45th   Sapphire   
50th   Gold   
55th   Emerald   
60th   Diamond   
65th   Sapphire   
70th   Platinum   
75th   Diamond   
80th   Oak   
85th   Wine   
90th   Stone   

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Don't be downcast, the Cunt of Death is due a serious slip or fall.

[dissolute ocelot]

I don't understand the system. Surely things like antimatter and californium should be there instead of oak, wine, stone

40th   Ruby   
45th   Sapphire   
50th   Gold   
55th   Emerald   
60th   Diamond   
65th   Sapphire   
70th   Platinum   
75th   Diamond   
80th   Oak   
85th   Wine   
90th   Stone

According to Wikipedia most of it was made up in the 1930s by an American jewellers' trade association who had no interest in selling you americium (Moonstone is the alternative for 85th if you're having trouble finding a necklace made of wine).

[Blinder Data]

I'm genuinely looking forward to the inevitable street party that'll happen with our neighbours. Can't wait to get a bit too drunk and say extremely rude things about the royal family to Margaret at no 18.

[purlieu]

Hope Covid's fucked off enough for me to leave the country for a while.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I'm genuinely looking forward to the inevitable street party that'll happen with our neighbours. Can't wait to get a bit too drunk and say extremely rude things about the royal family to Margaret at no 18.

I won't even join the building whatsapp, fuck a street party.

[Fambo Number Mive]

I see the event will include the Queen watching the vile "sport" of horse racing at the Derby.

Later this month details of a special Jubilee emblem competition, in conjunction with the Victoria and Albert Museum, the Design Museum and the Royal College of Art, will be released. The winning entry will become the official emblem for the celebrations next year.

Any ideas?

[Blue Jam]

The Platinum Palace Party should be as blinging as it sounds. They should get the Platinum Pied Pipers in, a rendition of this will make everyone feel suitably awkward:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p7I8RT2kmM

[Blue Jam]

The Queen's Birthday Parade (Trooping the Colour): Over 1,400 parading soldiers, 200 horses and 400 musicians will come together in the traditional Parade to mark The Queen's official birthday, usually held on the second Saturday in June.

Are they going to do Clean For The Queen again after this? Get workfare recipients to shovel up all the manure? Can we make Pob do it?

[Small Man Big Horse]

Hoping it'll be like the Doctor Who anniversaries and they'll get some of the old Queens in to make a cameo.

[Butchers Blind]

Wanking for Liz. Gawd bless yer ma'am.

[Blue Jam]

Wanking for Liz. Gawd bless yer ma'am.

I think that might be what John Loughrey has planned.

[BlodwynPig]

Didnt we just have one?

[Twit 2]

Why isn't this wrinkled old cunt in a furnace?[nb]The Cunt of Death, not Blodwyn.[/nb]

[Gurke and Hare]

Don't be downcast, the Cunt of Death is due a serious slip or fall.

Doesn't this 70th thing involve an extra bank holilday? May as well get that in first.

(Yeah, I know there might be one for the funeral/coronation but we'll get those either way so may as well have this one too.)

[Attila]

I see the event will include the Queen watching the vile "sport" of horse racing at the Derby.

Any ideas?

That drawing of Prince Philip after he'd run down a pleb in his Land Rover?

[chveik]

hope she pulls through

[Blue Jam]

She's gonna peg it one day after Charles.

[shiftwork2]

Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

[JamesTC]

lorra lorra blinda data

[idunnosomename]

AWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGAAA

[Satchmo Distel]

"octagenarian Paul McCartney" - he will only be 79 for events held before June 18, and he's busy that day because he plans to shag all his old girlfriends who are still alive.