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Giddy Stratospheres (2021, dir: Laura-Jean Marsh)

Started by sevendaughters, July 20, 2021, 01:39:38 PM

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sevendaughters

Did you thirst for a film about the fag end of UK indie? Did you hope that if such a miracle transpired, that it would feature Richard Herring? WELL SLAKE YOUR THIRST MY FRIENDS BECAUSE HERE IS GIDDY STRATOSPHERES!



Here's the trailer! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvTPC2NfF_I

Actual thoughts:
Spoiler alert
this is one of the worst films I've ever seen. I was agog for the first few minutes and then just slightly bored and self-loathing in the way that all rotten films make you feel. Been following this project with interest, partly out of some kind of hatelove of being around at the time and finding the music and people involved completely asinine, since it was announced. There was a trailer floating around months ago that pitched the film as some kind of London indie Trainspotting, but hardly any of this is in the trailer or the actual film. Also, it is only 68 minutes long, and has the feel of a work that was hacked to bits in an edit and then thrown out there. Richard Herring, strangely enough, is the best thing in it. Almost everything else is student-film terrible, from the paper-thin narrative to the shooting and editing and most of the acting is Crossroads-level bad.
[close]


Famous Mortimer

Aww, Nick Helm is in it. I like Nick Helm.

My favourite part of the trailer was when they specified "00s tracks from..." because all that indie bollocks is still around and no-one wants to hear 2021 tracks from any of them.

How old is the main character supposed to be? She looks a lot older than the kids around her.

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: sevendaughters on July 20, 2021, 01:39:38 PM
Actual thoughts:
Spoiler alert
this is one of the worst films I've ever seen. I was agog for the first few minutes and then just slightly bored and self-loathing in the way that all rotten films make you feel. Been following this project with interest, partly out of some kind of hatelove of being around at the time and finding the music and people involved completely asinine, since it was announced. There was a trailer floating around months ago that pitched the film as some kind of London indie Trainspotting, but hardly any of this is in the trailer or the actual film. Also, it is only 68 minutes long, and has the feel of a work that was hacked to bits in an edit and then thrown out there. Richard Herring, strangely enough, is the best thing in it. Almost everything else is student-film terrible, from the paper-thin narrative to the shooting and editing and most of the acting is Crossroads-level bad.
[close]

You made it sound so bad that I thought it might be fun to watch and mock, but 12 minutes in I think I hate everyone involved in the making of the film and may have to track then down and murder them.

sevendaughters

Quote from: Famous Mortimer on July 20, 2021, 02:17:58 PM
How old is the main character supposed to be? She looks a lot older than the kids around her.

it's the director/writer playing herself 13 years younger than she is

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: sevendaughters on July 20, 2021, 01:39:38 PM
Did you thirst for a film about the fag end of UK indie? Did you hope that if such a miracle transpired, that it would feature Richard Herring? WELL SLAKE YOUR THIRST MY FRIENDS BECAUSE HERE IS GIDDY STRATOSPHERES!

Here's the trailer! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvTPC2NfF_I

Actual thoughts:
Spoiler alert
this is one of the worst films I've ever seen. I was agog for the first few minutes and then just slightly bored and self-loathing in the way that all rotten films make you feel. Been following this project with interest, partly out of some kind of hatelove of being around at the time and finding the music and people involved completely asinine, since it was announced. There was a trailer floating around months ago that pitched the film as some kind of London indie Trainspotting, but hardly any of this is in the trailer or the actual film. Also, it is only 68 minutes long, and has the feel of a work that was hacked to bits in an edit and then thrown out there. Richard Herring, strangely enough, is the best thing in it. Almost everything else is student-film terrible, from the paper-thin narrative to the shooting and editing and most of the acting is Crossroads-level bad.
[close]

Well I could be wrong but I think this might be the worst film of all time, I certainly can't think of anything I've disliked more. I mean, I guess it's not actively racist or homophobic or offensive in any way but it's so badly written, the performances are shockingly poor, Jamal Franklin and Nick Helm are okay in it but everyone else is awful, as if they've never seen anyone acting before, while the story is the definition of tedious.
Spoiler alert
The twist that Daniel was dead all along is appallingly carried out
[close]
, Richard Herring is bizarrely appalling, I wanted to murder every single one of the supporting characters within seconds of them being on screen as they're so irritating, every single line of dialogue is horrendous, and um, well, yeah, awful awful awful stuff and not worth watching in the hope it might be fun to mock as it doesn't even manage to be that. 0.1/10

chveik

wow given how generous you are in your ratings usually this must pure grave-tier

BlodwynPig

Hilarious you put yourselves through this after watching that trailer.

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: chveik on July 20, 2021, 06:58:01 PM
wow given how generous you are in your ratings usually this must pure grave-tier

I really can't remember watching so horrendous, it's a vanity project and how she got Herring and Helm involved is beyond me.

Quote from: BlodwynPig on July 20, 2021, 07:40:34 PM
Hilarious you put yourselves through this after watching that trailer.

I was hoping it would fall in to the so bad it's funny category, but alas no.

Custard

Apparently the band The Long Blondes were involved in this in some minute way. Maybe that's why it's uses one of their song-titles as the title. The lead singer Kate Jackson went to the premiere. Which I imagine was tea and biscuits round Herring's

https://www.instagram.com/p/CRW9XmEntq

Famous Mortimer

I like how this Guardian article carefully doesn't express an opinion on how good the movie is, but interviews a bunch of bands.

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2021/jul/19/giddy-stratospheres-klaxons-long-blondes-new-young-pony-club-hedonistic-00s

QuoteWe didn't have Spotify or anything
Yes you did, Alfie Jackson of The Holloways - this movie is set when Youtube and Spotify were already a thing. People had had iPods for five years by 2007. iPhones were a thing.

QuoteEveryone was about 15 when Britpop was happening and Camden was the centre of the world
No they weren't, and no it wasn't. Perhaps there's a metaphor I'm missing, or perhaps Didz Hammond of Dirty Pretty Things is an idiot.

Still, I always like a "new generation mistakes being young for objective quality of their drug and music experiences" story.


dissolute ocelot

Sounds like a film about the Long Blondes being off their faces on coke their entire career would be more fun.

Still, will watch.

BlodwynPig

Pure artifice

"Hey Gog! Remember when we crashed that Esso garage in 2018 and started jamming in the crisps aisle"

"Aye, we nabbed all those benson and hedges and Jeb Bush turned up looking for directions to Slough"

"Great days 2018!"