Author Topic: The world is full of shouty men  (Read 1330 times)

Catalogue of ills

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The world is full of shouty men
« on: July 21, 2021, 01:03:04 PM »
Why are the men always shouting? It seems my world is full of the shouty men.

They are shouting because they have a dog and the dog won't do what they want them to do and the dog does not understanding English, which is unfair of the dog. So they shout at the dog which has zero impact, for the dog does not understand English and nor does it understand shouting, and because it has zero impact the man shouts again because it has gone so well so far they may as well keep at it. 'I love that dog!' they shout.

Or they are shouting because they have seen someone they know from inside their car. They are driving in the neighbourhood in which they live and they have seen, from the car, someone else who lives in the neighbourhood and who they know. They are in the neighbourhood and they have seen someone else from the neighbourhood, and they know that person and that is amazing when you think about it, if you really think about it. And so they shout at that person, who they know. 'OI OI, ORREIGHT, I KNOW YOU!'. It is amazing. Also, they have a car and that is pretty amazing as well if you really think about that, if you are not already quite tired from thinking about how amazing it is that you have just seen someone you know who lives in the same neighbourhood as you. And if that car was made, or at least conceived of at the design stage, in Germany then that is even more amazing and definitely worth shouting about.

Or they are shouting because they want you to notice them. Please notice me, they shout, but they don't actually say (shout) that, they shout about something you can talk about at normal volume if you really want to, like weed or DOGS or informing someone that you know them or football or shops. But shout it so that you notice them. If you look at them though, which counts as a form of noticing if you ask me, they will shout WHAT THE FUCK YOU LOOKIN AT. But sir, I am simply following your instructions you want to say. Implicit instructions, yes, but I am pretty sure they were instructions, or an invitation at the very least.

Or they are shouting because they are on the bins and it is 7 a.m. and if you are on the bins and it is 7 a.m. it is important that you shout across the street to your mate who is also on the bins. GOT A BIN HERE MATE. MATE, GOT A BIN HERE. BROWN BINS TODAY, BLACK BINS NEXT WEEK MATE. It's important to announce to everyone on the street that you have got a job and what's more it is on the fucking bins lads, imagine that. A job on the bins and a mate on the bins. Bin double. Let everyone know, including the A&E nurse next door who has just finished a 12 hours shift and was just getting off to sleep but what would she know, she has never been on the bins.

Where can I put all of the shouty men please, is there like a huge macerator and if not can we build one.

Cloud

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Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2021, 01:12:28 PM »
What about all the shouty women eh?

Chollis

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Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2021, 01:14:22 PM »

Blue Jam

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Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #3 on: July 21, 2021, 01:14:50 PM »
SHUT IT GHOSTFACE

bgmnts

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Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #4 on: July 21, 2021, 01:29:19 PM »
Frustration and anger innit.

earl_sleek

  • National Program Director of the CHUM Group
Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #5 on: July 21, 2021, 01:34:52 PM »
And an unearned sense of entitlement.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #6 on: July 21, 2021, 01:36:12 PM »
Being loud is worse, as in, average volume always being several notches higher than it should be in each setting. Americans and Canadians seem to be permanently concerned that they aren't being heard even when they are sat directly next to someone. You are. You are being heard. Dial it down a bit, everyone is getting brain cancer sound-diarrhoead into them.

Inspector Norse

  • I bash the Bishop well.
Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #7 on: July 21, 2021, 01:51:49 PM »
but Bobby still repeats
One day a rain will come to wash the scum off all the streets

Ornlu

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Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #8 on: July 21, 2021, 01:58:58 PM »
I unequivocally agree that loud obnoxious shrieking men are the worst kind.

BlodwynPig

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Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #9 on: July 21, 2021, 02:00:22 PM »
And an unearned sense of entitlement.

Vote Earl Sleek

Buelligan

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Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #10 on: July 21, 2021, 02:14:34 PM »
Trying to look as if they know a thing.  Children afraid of, confused by, the world and clueless what to do about it.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #11 on: July 21, 2021, 02:16:12 PM »
I unequivocally agree that loud obnoxious shrieking men are the worst kind.

The silent paedo is the dangerous paedo.

Send off for your free paedo monoxide alarm today

Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #12 on: July 21, 2021, 02:17:36 PM »
Nothing beats a loud, piercing scream. Eat that, shouty men.

earl_sleek

  • National Program Director of the CHUM Group
Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #13 on: July 21, 2021, 03:30:54 PM »

Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #14 on: July 21, 2021, 03:33:54 PM »
I once spoke to an old woman in Honduras who said, "when a man doesn't know what else to do, he beats his wife". It was a very specific and carefully worded comment, slightly off-topic, but on the subject of fear and policemen acting hasty. I'll never forget it.

Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #15 on: July 21, 2021, 03:35:36 PM »
I'LL SHOUT IF I WANT TO. MAGNA CARTA SAYS I CAN.

TrenterPercenter

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Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #16 on: July 21, 2021, 03:38:13 PM »


Lolz

Hmmm but what about those that yell at their wife at home?

Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #17 on: July 21, 2021, 06:28:10 PM »
My new neighbor is a man that loves a good shout, most commonly shouts of 'I hate you so much' and 'you're a fucking pussy' to his sons.

Jollity

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Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #18 on: July 21, 2021, 10:38:45 PM »
There's more shouting in hot weather, I find.

icehaven

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Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #19 on: July 21, 2021, 10:56:10 PM »
Either voices carry much further than they used to or for some reason a lot of people speak ridiculously loudly to others sitting only a few feet away from them. Went for a walk to a nature reserve on Sunday and while walking round a fairly sizeable lake we could see a group of people sat right on the other side but could also hear one of them fucking bellowing. Totally unnecessary and irritating and I hope he drowned.

canadagoose

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Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #20 on: July 21, 2021, 10:57:51 PM »
When I was coming back from the shopping centre recently I passed a man yelling on his phone to someone who I presume was his wife, whinging about how he always has to drive her to hospital and how she's in bed all the time and he goes out working. Even from hearing just his side of the story, he sounded like a total fanny. I felt sorry for the person on the other end.

Sebastian Cobb

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Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #21 on: July 21, 2021, 11:00:58 PM »
When I was coming back from the shopping centre recently I passed a man yelling on his phone to someone who I presume was his wife, whinging about how he always has to drive her to hospital and how she's in bed all the time and he goes out working. Even from hearing just his side of the story, he sounded like a total fanny. I felt sorry for the person on the other end.

Could've been his mum, or nan.

PlanktonSideburns

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Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #22 on: July 21, 2021, 11:16:32 PM »
My lockdown has been spent mostly at home, talking very quietly over dinner with close friends and family

Got asked to do some teaching last month and realized that I can't talk at teaching volume for long without losing my voice

Why can't people be more like me

Meet exact same shouty dog amptomophosising dog cunt
At the river yesterday, our neighbour does this to their dog also, but in a alcoholics wisper, which makes me laugh

monty, stop that! Stopitatonce! Decist!

Why can't people be more like her?

bgmnts

  • Depressed to the point of poisonous toxicity.
Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #23 on: July 21, 2021, 11:18:09 PM »
The loud music cunts downstairs got done and had their hash taken off them by the scuffers today and fucking hell they just talk loud. I don't even think they were shouting, but they're just gobby loud bastards permanently.

Makes me think I'm maybe way too quiet.

PlanktonSideburns

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Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #24 on: July 21, 2021, 11:20:03 PM »
The loud music cunts downstairs got done and had their hash taken off them by the scuffers today and fucking hell they just talk loud. I don't even think they were shouting, but they're just gobby loud bastards permanently.

Makes me think I'm maybe way too quiet.

No bgmnts, we are the right ones

Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #25 on: July 21, 2021, 11:39:47 PM »
when a man doesn't know what else to do, he beats his wife

What about me? I'm not married.

Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #26 on: July 21, 2021, 11:41:39 PM »
There's more shouting in hot weather, I find.

More people outside getting plastered. More windows open to prevent being cooked to death.

Echo Valley 2-6809

  • Part of no circle
Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #27 on: July 22, 2021, 12:12:56 AM »
The world is also full of inexplicably laughy men, usually the same as the shouty ones.

MAN 1: Hot enough for you? HAHAHA HA
MAN 2: HAHA HAHA Fucking hell you're not wrong HAHA
MAN 1: I've got the boot open to keep the car cool HAHAHA HAHA
MAN 2: HAHAHA I'll have to try that myself HAHA HOOOO
MAN 1: HAHAHA
ME: Makes me wish I had a white suit and homburg, like Tom Wolfe.

Dex Sawash

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Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #28 on: July 22, 2021, 01:38:33 AM »

Have they all just got earbuds in?

easytarget

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Re: The world is full of shouty men
« Reply #29 on: July 22, 2021, 02:32:24 AM »
[tag] Morrissey considers rewrite [/tag]

I know what you mean about these shouty men, they've found another way to take up more than their fair share of space[1], they shout into their mobiles, they shout at another shouty man while they're both on bikes and he shouts back, the shouty bastard.

"Can I get you a nice cup of shut the fuck up?"
 
 1. #sonicmanspreading

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