Author Topic: largest disparity between initial grievance and your level of upset at it  (Read 1925 times)

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Was it Rod Liddle who told the other contestants, when asked why he hadn't done something responded with a "because I've been in the kitchen trying to make food for arseholes like you!"? Obviously the man is loathsome but the delivery of that was perfect.

Jerzy Bondov

  • best not bother
    • righto so ive got five minutes off work and uh yeah im gonna have a cheeky volvic
I'd dread having to make small talk with colleagues on public transport daily. I've had a sense of dread and taken routes down side streets on the way to work to avoid catching up colleagues I have no problem with just because I'd prefer to be alone with my thoughts than making polite conversation.
This is me. I have taken an alternate route and sprinted along it to get ahead of people so I don't catch up with them and have to chat. I love working from home. That said, someone I used to work with would always insist on coming along when I went out for a walk at lunch, and now we're very good friends. Sometimes I need a push out of my anti-social comfort zone.

If I'm doing a roast and I get the timings a bit off then my initial thought is always to simply walk out of the house and go and jump off a bridge.

Gurke and Hare

  • Fold water. Roll into small cubes.
My dad got so annoyed with a tennis commentator he put his walking stick through the screen.

Did he send Andy Murray the bill?

Gurke and Hare

  • Fold water. Roll into small cubes.
I get far too angry at people calling the Edinburgh Festival Fringe the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
This is me. I have taken an alternate route and sprinted along it to get ahead of people so I don't catch up with them and have to chat. I love working from home. That said, someone I used to work with would always insist on coming along when I went out for a walk at lunch, and now we're very good friends. Sometimes I need a push out of my anti-social comfort zone.

If I'm doing a roast and I get the timings a bit off then my initial thought is always to simply walk out of the house and go and jump off a bridge.

Just this morning the boss announced they thought daily stand ups were a waste of time as we all generally take several days to do stuff and it's very repetitive. But they also thought about having us back in a day a week for the 'face time', most of the team were very enthusiastic and I felt the strongest opposition I was able to give was 'I don't mind coming in for collaborative stuff but also am fine working from home'.

In offices I generally just whack my headphones on and stay out of everyone's way. I did enjoy having lunches as a social thing but that was mostly across teams so some of the people I really enjoyed nattering with won't even be there.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
I'd dread having to make small talk with colleagues on public transport daily. I've had a sense of dread and taken routes down side streets on the way to work to avoid catching up colleagues I have no problem with just because I'd prefer to be alone with my thoughts than making polite conversation.

This is me.  Except once, when I used to commute and a workmate that I really thought intelligent and attractive always found his way into my carriage.  The last time, when I was leaving, he told me that he thought I was peerless.  But I was leaving, so that was that.  I sometimes think about him, married now to someone almost peerless as I wend my peerless way down all the secret avenues of the Earth.

I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but I once dropped a custard slice out of the box onto the kitchen floor and a combination of frustration, disappointment that I wasn't getting something I'd been so looking forward to, and a bit of residual depression led me to just stamping the ever loving fuck out of it. Stamping on it like it was the most evil thing in the world. My girlfriend came in to find me slumped on the floor in tears with all custard, icing and pastry smashed to buggery all over the floor and my sock.

Jerzy Bondov

  • best not bother
    • righto so ive got five minutes off work and uh yeah im gonna have a cheeky volvic
Once when I was a kid my cat annoyed me and I salted him. Shook the salt grinder over him and got a small bit of salt on his back. Take that you fucker.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
This is me.  Except once, when I used to commute and a workmate that I really thought intelligent and attractive always found his way into my carriage.  The last time, when I was leaving, he told me that he thought I was peerless.  But I was leaving, so that was that.  I sometimes think about him, married now to someone almost peerless as I wend my peerless way down all the secret avenues of the Earth.

I know people get into relationships with colleagues all the time but the idea of being in a relationship with someone and actually having to work closely with them as well sounds terrifying.

In one job I was in there were a married couple who'd met at university and then both gone through the graduate scheme and had been together for around 10 years but working in different parts of the company, they both got slung on the same team and the bloke left, partly because the whole project was a shit-show but also his wife admitted it was shit working together.

I frequently have meltdowns about getting inconsequential stuff wrong but it's never really about the individual thing, it's my own fear that I'm a massive failure who everyone pities at best.

I once got dragged to a yoga class (having tried it perhaps once in my life) and had something like a panic attack, but instead of panicking I just felt tears involuntarily streaming down my face and sobs threatening to interrupt the Goan trance soundtrack, hugely embarrassingly, because I felt so inadequate and stupid and pathetic compared to everyone else there with their wholesome healthy togetherness, not just about the class but my life in general. The teacher very sweetly hugged me and said not to worry, but I think she probably thought I was just overcome with the power of the vinyasa energy or something, which is even more embarrassing.

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
I frequently have meltdowns about getting inconsequential stuff wrong but it's never really about the individual thing, it's my own fear that I'm a massive failure who everyone pities at best.

This for me. I have regular BF's at work and beat myself up about it afterwards which doesn't help. I'm sure it makes a few people chuckle though.

monkfromhavana

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I just felt tears involuntarily streaming down my face and sobs threatening to interrupt the Goan trance soundtrack

Trust me, tears would be streaming down my face if I had to listen to Goa Trance as well.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
There's a guy I actually like and share interests with but work closely with and frequently lock horns with.

He's technically a talented developer but also just over-complicates his solutions by over-thinking problems and not writing simple solutions that fit the spec. He also has a bad habit of adding distractions to code by throwing pointless checks to guard against developer error, I try and point out this largely just adds noise to people trying to debug things, and that if you really need to do it, put it in a guard block so people can go 'pfft, bollocks, next' and get it out the way.

But we keep arguing and it brings out a side in me I don't like. But I just want minimalism and less pointless busywork.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Being indifferent to bollocks like the above is how we get daft decisions that somehow multiple arbitary spaces are better than a single \t, which is universally recognised, simple to tokenise/grep and can be displayed how you want by your text editor or ide.

All Surrogate

  • Weird argumentative fuck
Nerd!

I've still got backed up anger from 34 years ago when a school"friend" told me I was wrong for saying that we were then living in the 20th Century. 

He pulled a belm face and went "Dur! It's NINETEEN eighty seven, not TWENTY eighty seven". He was adamant that it was the nineteenth century.

I was angry for years and then he and I later had a massive falling out at college and, I'm ashamed to say this, would often piss in his garden on the way back from the pub and once sent him a postcard from hell signed by his recently deceased dog.

Absolutely pissed myself at that.

Endicott

  • I've done no research
I was angry for years and then he and I later had a massive falling out at college and, I'm ashamed to say this, would often piss in his garden on the way back from the pub and once sent him a postcard from hell signed by his recently deceased dog.

The sort of thing someone from the 19C would do, to be fair.

How did he explain 20th Century Fox?

icehaven

  • WORLD'S BIGGEST RIP OFF: $100 PER PERSON
and once sent him a postcard from hell signed by his recently deceased dog.

I'm sorry for your long running travails but if it's any consolation that's hilarious.

idunnosomename

  • FROG ON THE BIG WHEEL
did you singe the edges?

Yep that's top notch, and the sheer pettiness of the original disagreement makes it even greater. I used to just 141-prank call people and put on stupid voices, but infernal dead dog correspondence is a stellar effort.

AllisonSays

  • disappointed bridge
This is slightly tendentious but I got beaten up once in a shopping centre and rather than tell my parents I told them my friend D had kicked me in the head playing football, to explain my black eye and cut face. He later broke my little brother's finger playing football as well. My ma hates him to this day.

A few years ago I wrote something and somebody quoted it on their blog, but at the end of the quote they put "[sic]". I swear there was nothing wrong with what I'd written, have no idea what they thought was incorrect, and am still fuming about it now. Thanks for reopening old wounds, madhair60.

They maybe meant sick? Thought what you said was sick?

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
I've still got backed up anger from 34 years ago when a school"friend" told me I was wrong for saying that we were then living in the 20th Century. 

He pulled a belm face and went "Dur! It's NINETEEN eighty seven, not TWENTY eighty seven". He was adamant that it was the nineteenth century.

I was angry for years and then he and I later had a massive falling out at college and, I'm ashamed to say this, would often piss in his garden on the way back from the pub and once sent him a postcard from hell signed by his recently deceased dog.

Brilliant. Well played.

billyandthecloneasaurus

  • LIVING ROOMS, bedrooms, dinettes, OH yeah!
Yep that's top notch, and the sheer pettiness of the original disagreement makes it even greater. I used to just 141-prank call people and put on stupid voices, but infernal dead dog correspondence is a stellar effort.

My deranged mate decided to prank call people from my house, anyone who had the same telephone number as me but with one number changed.

The first person he tried was xxxxx5 rather than xxxxx4, and when they answered he said "I'm just phoning you to..." and they grumpily yelled 'NOT INTERESTED' and hung up. Whatever, we went back to watching beavis and butthead.


Six months later he he's at my house again, and does it again, doesn't withhold the number, and when they don't answer he left an answer phone message copying that tourettes guy video where he says "YES I BOUGHT YOUR COLGATE TOOTHPASTE AND IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT"

Couple of days later and the police turn up at my door.  Shit.


"This is about you harassing that poor couple of six months"

????

Turns out that my mate was so offended by them being rude to him the first time he prank called them, he'd been walking to the rural Welsh phonebox near his house and doing the 0800 REVERSE thing at like 1am on a semi regular basis, then obviously when he did it from my house they just assumed it was me the whole time.  It took them a long time to believe me that it was "my mate in Wales".

The particularly weird bit was that the poor woman had had some mad bloke break into her house years ago when she was at home, hence why they'd moved to my neck of the woods in the first place, and when she listened to the message, she had some work in progress shopping list on the mantelpiece with just one thing written, quite visible from the window.  COLGATE TOOTHPASTE.  Poor woman thought she was being stalked.


My mate never got in any trouble either, they transferred the case to whatever police service was in his area and I think the case was so bizarre and hard to follow they probz just went what the fuck is this, and told him not to do it again.

FerriswheelBueller

  • CaB rear of the year 2020
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    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
The existence of Ian Macintosh on the guardian’s or football podcast. I cannot stand the man, his name being announced was an instant stop, delete, close podcast app for me.

I was delighted when he left, and he mugged the guardian off as he did it which is a win-win these days. Now I don’t listen to any football podcasts and I’m much happier for it.

13 years ago I went out for dinner for a friend's birthday and another of her friends who I didn't really know ordered two sides instead of a main, and explained the choice by saying "I'm having a very very big pudding". When the puddings came hers was just a normal size. This irrationally annoyed me so much that I still regularly complain about it to my long-suffering wife and in fact the last time I did so was just a couple of hours ago before I'd even seen this thread.

Similarly, 15 years ago while I was learning German I bumped into someone at a German conference and we said hello etc., all in English. When I saw him again he turned to the person next to him and said "this man speaks very very good German" - this infuriated me because he hadn't heard me speaking any German, he'd just seen me at the conference and I could have been shit at it for all he knows. Again I regularly complain about this to my wife and again she's bored senseless by it and doesn't understand why I a) cared in the first place or b) still remember it.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
When I was a teenager my parents through out the beloved Swan toastie maker for some Breville piece of shit that had removable (and ostensibly easier to clean) metal plates that cliped on to the heating block.

It was shit though, despite being well seasoned the thing had a habit of sticking, this would either rip the toastie apart or pull the plates off so the sandwich was stuck between hot metal, usually trying to remedy this would rip the sandwich apart.

Anyway one day this happened and I just lost my rag, threw a butter knife hard at the formica cuttting a dent in it and snappig the blade, then lobbed the plastic spatula into the sink smashing it and a glass.

Pauline Fowler crisp packet bollocks

I'd advise her to see a doctor about that.

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