Cunts in the pub

[Cloud]

So far tonight in the local we've got

• Noisy lad in cowboy hat who appears to have had "more than drinks" (I have yet to meet anyone who wears a cowboy hat in a pub who isn't annoying as hell)
• Racist Dave talking openly about n***ers and getting surprising agreement from one or two "you'd have no idea they were racist"s that it'd be disappointing if the daughter ended up with a black boyfriend (to the point of me wondering out loud what fucking century we're in)
• Moaning old git on a long boring rant about how things have changed from how they used to be in his day, young people these days on their phones etc (ironically after asking me for their wifi password)

One of those nights when you just think "shut them again, I regret coming back".  Some nice ales though.

For those who go to pubs (or did before the pandemic if still holding off) do you have any notable "Pub Cunts" to share?

_{(N.B. Not really interested in a debate of whether it's correct to be in the pub in the first place)}

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

In The Fat Cat in Sheffield 2 weeks ago a man talked about how the left wing were "more right wing than the right wingers", and how Owen Jones was "more right wing than Hitler".

I'm afraid I couldn't let that one slide and repeated it back in a mocking way. Even he seemed to be embarrassed and said "well I don't mean it like that exactly". His friend then piped up saying what business was it of mine. By my own standards I rather adroitly stood up to that by using the right wing's tactic against the left - I said what was true - that it was a public house, an open room and just like the man who was comparing harmless people unfavourably to Hitler, I could say what I like. He didn't seem to realise that could be used against him, and it subdued them. Thankfully they were finishing their drinks and I didn't get glassed.

Quite an odd one as Sheffield is largely a pretty safe space to go and not encounter someone whose political brains have prolapsed.

I think it's morphing into generational warfare now when you go out. 40s and 50s is a tipping point and pretty much anyone beyond that who seems to have drunk the social media blue drink is absolutely fucking off the wall nuts.

[wooders1978]

very surprised and sorry to hear N worders tolerated in public let alone agreed with, what a shame - no judgement at all, but did you say anything?

I don't mind the odd cowboy hat/similar dickhead every now and then, adds to the fun, but not every night
Moaning old cunt complaining how he likes it before mobile phones but wants the wi-fi password sounds like me before i got unlimited data to be fair

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

As a ward to the threat of this becoming a one-sided litany of bigoted indiscretions I would say that I have been to some excellent pubs run by people who are either sympathetic to left-wing views, liberally minded people and occasionally at the vanguard of left wing politics.

Pubs are a refuge and even sad old men with knackered VHS cassettes for brains deserve a place to get out. Some of them are genuinely harmless, not nasty people, just people that lead narrow lives trapped in old ideas, who would probably be delighted to make friends with people of other races and the type of people who would be as good as gold if they were treated by an Indian nurse or Congolese consultant.

That said, when you're openly shouting the n-word in a pub wherever it is and whenever it is in the UK that needs challenging in some way. Find a way that won't get you glassed but it needs challenging.

As people know I am generally a fan of pubs that are frozen in time survivors that have somehow continued the same culture while all-around has changed beyond recognition, but that shouldn't go for the conversation. Some of the really fantastic pubs out there manage to blend the old with the new with an almost effortless panache.

[jobotic]

Fox in the Snow by Belle & Sebastian is ruined now

[The Ombudsman]

Always hated people laughing too enthusiastically and too frequently.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Always hated people laughing too enthusiastically and too frequently.

The apex of observation of that has to be that Peep Show episode where Foz and Jez are laughing about Mark having to go out into the safari park to collect his wallet Jez threw out of the window for banter.

The performances/delivery really nails that merciless, bullying fuck-off laughter that hits to an element of your soul, perhaps the first truly traumatic social experience everyone has had where people aren't your friends, they are just kicking your face into the dirt to make someone better like them more.

[Cloud]

very surprised and sorry to hear N worders tolerated in public let alone agreed with, what a shame - no judgement at all, but did you say anything?

I made a "what century are we in again?! For fucks sake" remark but it was either ignored or I wasn't loud enough.  Joys of being chronically shy and softly spoken unfortunately

His wife and daughter pull him up on it constantly and his daughter literally calls him a fascist but it's dismissed as "women" and "young overly PC people" so I doubt I'd have much influence for what it's worth!

[Echo Valley 2-6809]

that merciless, bullying fuck-off laughter that hits to an element of your soul, perhaps the first truly traumatic social experience everyone has had where people aren't your friends, they are just kicking your face into the dirt to make someone better like them more.

Then I left the Quaker meeting aahh.

Is anyone here old/confident/familiar enough to occupy a stool at the bar for an evening?

I've always wanted to see if I could do it on my own from 7-11pm, same stool all night, just making occasional conversation with bar staff and anyone who turns up next to me. Or is it the province of cunts, bores and lechers?

[touchingcloth]

One of the local bars sells domestic propane bottles, and they're kept locked up in a cage outside. I was having a beer there the other day, and a corpulent old English fuck walked in and announced "I want a gas bottle, come outside so I can show you which one".

He said it like that, English as you like, to the baffled barman, and then looked around the other customers with an incredulous look on his face as if to say "can you believe this guy doesn't speak English?"

I sadly murdered him.

[gib]

Then I left the Quaker meeting aahh.

Is anyone here old/confident/familiar enough to occupy a stool at the bar for an evening?

I've always wanted to see if I could do it on my own from 7-11pm, same stool all night, just making occasional conversation with bar staff and anyone who turns up next to me. Or is it the province of cunts, bores and lechers?

I reckon just don't be cunty, boring or lecherous and it could be quite the adventure. Looking forward to reading about how it went.

[Ferris]

Last time I went to a pub it was fucking shit "Irish" pub (everything else was closed) and the only other cunt in there was some dipshit boomer who kept telling the bar staff how it was mad that the place wasn't packed (the province was only vaccinating people over 65 at the time).

Lots of "accidentally" taking the mask off then apologizing and putting it back on, but over the space of 2hrs.

I love pubs, but it'll be a while before I return to one. I just loathe the general public.

[Echo Valley 2-6809]

I reckon just don't be cunty, boring or lecherous and it could be quite the adventure.

I knew I'd painted myself into a corner with those conditions.

Might see if I can get hold of a magician's jacket with that hidden gimmick that produces an endless stream of silk handkerchiefs from one of the pockets. Something to fall back on.

[phes]

In The Fat Cat in Sheffield 2 weeks ago a man talked about how the left wing were "more right wing than the right wingers", and how Owen Jones was "more right wing than Hitler".

Coincidentally, left The Fat Cat after one drink about a week ago because I was stuck next to a table with a guy blathering on and on about his Record Deal, and how he would be 'supporting Oasis' at an unspecified time. Abject ear-slime. 

On the subject of lovely cunts in pubs, I once had a local try to convince me that Canadians say 'aboot' because Canada was once joined to Scotland as part of the supercontinent Pangaea.

[gib]

I knew I'd painted myself into a corner with those conditions.

Might see if I can get hold of a magician's jacket with that hidden gimmick that produces an endless stream of silk handkerchiefs from one of the pockets. Something to fall back on.

At the very least have a few cheap lighters on you, someone always asks for a light and my plan would be to look supercool by saying Hey you can keep that one if it helps.

[touchingcloth]

On the subject of lovely cunts in pubs, I once had a local try to convince me that Canadians say 'aboot' because Canada was once joined to Scotland as part of the supercontinent Pangaea.

Fuck's sake. How did I not realise that before?

[Kankurette]

I hate pub cunts. Nobody CARES about your hot takes. Shut up.

[Mardukas]

So far tonight in the local we've got

• Racist Dave talking openly about n***ers and getting surprising agreement from one or two "you'd have no idea they were racist"s that it'd be disappointing if the daughter ended up with a black boyfriend (to the point of me wondering out loud what fucking century we're in)
  
  

You literally just defended Jeremy Clarkson saying the n-word because he was only joking.
Take a look in the fucking mirror.
Cunt.

[Ferris]

Coincidentally, left The Fat Cat after one drink about a week ago because I was stuck next to a table with a guy blathering on and on about his Record Deal, and how he would be 'supporting Oasis' at an unspecified time. Abject ear-slime.

He's been going since I was on the circuit. Always just about to crack it.

On the subject of lovely cunts in pubs, I once had a local try to convince me that Canadians say 'aboot' because Canada was once joined to Scotland as part of the supercontinent Pangaea.

The vowel sound is basically the same as a Black Country pronunciation, it's really not that exotic. You can take my word on the similarity.

[touchingcloth]

In my experience, the kind of pub cunts who sit at bar stools all night are the same pub cunts who try and get people to do "bets". You know the ones - "try and catch this fiver before it drops through your fingers. If you catch it you can keep it, if you miss it you owe me a tenner".

Cuuuuuunts.

[gib]

Learn The Impossible Nail Trick, a trick to make you rich in the pub

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=202L67RerTY

[touchingcloth]

Here, you know David Gladden down the pub?

No, which ones he?

The weird cunt.

Which one? There's loads who go to the pub.

The cunt who brings nails.

Oh yeah. Cunt. What about him?

He's started bringing Buckaroo.

[Thursday]

The new relaunched more honestly titled version of Skeptics in the Pub?

[Cloud]

You literally just defended Jeremy Clarkson saying the n-word because he was only joking.
Take a look in the fucking mirror.
Cunt.

I proposed the suggestion that he's an actor, based off his performances on Top Gear.  Plus this is literally someone saying the N word and complaining about black people, not silly old Jeremy making some dodgy comments on telly that people take as him being somehow equally racist.  Get a grip you twat.

[St_Eddie]

So far tonight in the local we've got

• Noisy lad in cowboy hat who appears to have had "more than drinks" (I have yet to meet anyone who wears a cowboy hat in a pub who isn't annoying as hell)
• Racist Dave talking openly about n***ers and getting surprising agreement from one or two "you'd have no idea they were racist"s that it'd be disappointing if the daughter ended up with a black boyfriend (to the point of me wondering out loud what fucking century we're in)
• Moaning old git on a long boring rant about how things have changed from how they used to be in his day, young people these days on their phones etc (ironically after asking me for their wifi password)

One of those nights when you just think "shut them again, I regret coming back".  Some nice ales though.

Look, mate.  If you've got an issue with me drinking in your local, then just come out and say it.  There's no call to be splitting up your aggrievances with me into three separate "hypothetical" people.

[Mardukas]

I proposed the suggestion that he's an actor, based off his performances on Top Gear.  Plus this is literally someone saying the N word and complaining about black people, not silly old Jeremy making some dodgy comments on telly that people take as him being somehow equally racist.  Get a grip you twat.

It wasn't even in his script you pathetic excuse for humanity.
You really don't think people like him, with his platform, turning it into a naughty little game doesn't have an affect?
Other people have to deal with the consequences of people like him. It's about time you grew up.

[Mardukas]

It wasn't even in his script you pathetic excuse for humanity.
You really don't think people like him, with his platform, turning it into a naughty little game doesn't have an affect?
Other people have to deal with the consequences of people like him. It's about time you grew up.

Edit: forgot to add - you cunt.

[Mardukas]

Edit: forgot to add - you cunt.

Edit: in a pub

[steve98]

Learn The Impossible Nail Trick, a trick to make you rich in the pub

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=202L67RerTY

Impressive

[Tony Yeboah]

Coincidentally, left The Fat Cat after one drink about a week ago because I was stuck next to a table with a guy blathering on and on about his Record Deal, and how he would be 'supporting Oasis' at an unspecified time. Abject ear-slime. 

On the subject of lovely cunts in pubs, I once had a local try to convince me that Canadians say 'aboot' because Canada was once joined to Scotland as part of the supercontinent Pangaea.

]]

Quite big news that Oasis are getting back together. You could get fifty quid off one of the tabloids for that.