Donuts

[Chedney Honks]

I've not had a doughnut in years but I would really like one. I'd really like some. There's a kind of psychological block, though, whenever I see them, it's like, they will probably kill me. On the other hand, I drink booze and happy to eat the odd takeaway so there's no logic to it. I generally avoid sweet things actually although I do love chocolate and ice cream and fudge and all that, I just don't buy it, really.

I would love some donut with a nice cold sheen of caramel icing that cracks when I bite into it. It's full of vanilla cream. Nice swig of hot black coffee. A tray of twelve donuts and I eat them all in my car in the supermarket car park listening to a podcast and then go home.

Tesco has a Krispy Kreme thing where I could get these but any other suggestions? What's the best doughnuts? There used to be a bakery near ours when I was a kid and they did amazing custard doughnuts but I probably only ever had two or three ever because we had no money for doughnuts. Ideally, I'd like a tray of those exact ones. Don't exist any more.

Any donut recommendations would be very much appreciated. My wife is out today so I will definitely do this.

[steve98]

Whenever I walk by the open display case of doughnuts, bread rolls etc in Tesco I have the urge to discreetly spit on them. I never do it of course, but I can easily imagine bitter sociopaths and young delinquents doing it. I can't imagine any sane person buying that shit.

[Twit 2]

Krispy Kreme is shit for cunts, dregs for paedophiles. Instead of sitting in a supermarket car park eating those, why not head up to the clink car park and nonce yourself right into a cell?

[Chedney Honks]

steve98

That's also definitely a part of it. The self-service element is very off-putting. Even if not spit, I can imagine people picking them up and handling them before putting them back like old people do with fruit and veg (and every other item in the supermarket).

Krispy Kreme is shit for cunts, dregs for paedophiles. Instead of sitting in a supermarket car park eating those, why not head up to the clink car park and nonce yourself right into a cell?

What's better donut? I want to sit there like a cop eating doughnuts and drinking coffee in my car listening to a podcast about 80s Ninja phenomenon.

[Replies From View]

Filled doughnuts don't have a hole in them due to the filling process, they have a hole because other customers have meddled their farts into them.

[paruses]

The only advantage of Krispy Kreme is that they come in a tray so you feel like you are working in New York City or about to go to Home Coming. The major supermarkets do bagged up versions (brown paper so it feels a bit like being in America i suppose) but they are not glazed.

Maybe go to the seaside - stalls there do fresh ones. Then you could pretend to surveille people having an affair in a B&B while you eat them.

Do love your idea whatever happens.

[steve98]

Maybe go to the seaside - stalls there do fresh ones. Then you could pretend to surveille people

Is he to pretend the doughnuts (2 of) are binoculars?

[paruses]

That whole sentence is quite clear - use the donuts for binoculars and eat the people having an affair.

I suppose I even need to say get donuts with holes in. Might as well do the job myself.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Horrid cold clag. Unpleasant density, whether it is the pallid limp dogshit-tier corporate iced stools or independent offerings that make huge enticing looking ones intended to resemble the Simpsons donuts. Sub-par experience all round to eat though. Waste of a good digestive cycle.

Also 'doughnuts' please, can we maintain our dignity?

[PlanktonSideburns]

Wife's out of town and I think the house is empty. Gonna go down the town and get sum Do—Nutz from the bakery. Will report back officer chonks, over

[Buelligan]

Vile shite they are, hung over from the days when anything, anything, bland with half a gallon fat and sugar was a treat to most, who never got any fucking treats.  They're not a treat. 

Take some cotton balls down the chippy, tamp up a bit of spilt fryer fat, roll the ensuing in sugar and kick back.  If you want it posh, add a glob of ambiguous red sugar feed-gell.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Yea but I want these now

[PlanktonSideburns]

Donuts aprehended officer chonks

Coffe going on, podcast on the existence of mantis beings on standby, over

[Captain Z]

I like donuts but I couldn't eat a hole one

[DrGreggles]

Yes please


Fuck off

[BlodwynPig]

Is that a speculoos donut plankton?

They had some mad donuts in Canada. DonutMonster I think the shop was called.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Is that a speculoos donut plankton?

They had some mad donuts in Canada. DonutMonster I think the shop was called.

This is from local pasty shop, the one covered in chocolate shite with a rollo on was just the thing

Not sure about the one with a bisquit on tho, think that's a bit to much for me

[BlodwynPig]

This is from local pasty shop, the one covered in chocolate shite with a rollo on was just the thing

Not sure about the one with a bisquit on tho, think that's a bit to much for me

the biscuit one is a speculoos. The cinnamon tasting biscuit thing. Glorious. But shouldn't eat a whole one (diabetic).

[mothman]

I've never seen the point of ring donuts. Until the other day when I had a caramel-topped one from our local baker. Now, I love a caramel-topped donut, but these days they all seem to be filled with custard which I loathe. My previous favourite - the caramel-topped apple-filled donut - seems to have faded into obscurity.

The strawberry-jam filled ones at Morrison's are nice; it's proper jam in there, as opposed to the raspberry which is just standard runny donut filling.

[flotemysost]

I got a bit addicted to Crosstown's matcha donuts in the winter lockdown:



They've got a really nice dense, bready texture, not like the greasy squashy do's of yore. Vegan too (as are many of their other flavours - the chai custard was another favourite).

I actually don't mind a fairground-style sugary bastard now and then but always custard filling, not jam, never saw the appeal of that.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Just finished a Cuisine de France chocolate-filled donut with powdered sugar. Definitely nicer than Boston Donuts or Dunkin' Donuts, despite that fact that (in my town) all three are pre-made.

One supermarket makes them fresh in their bakery but I refuse to go there because they fired a friend of mine for not smiling widely enough.

[Buelligan]

You know goatse?

[Poobum]

Get my doughnuts from the local Polish bakery; massive, lightly glazed, full of vanilla custard, and delicious. They look like so...

[Chollis]

Always quite looked the look of the ones in Twin Peaks. Hot black coffee and a donut, yeah, DECENT



Terrible waste though.

[Dex Sawash]

Dunkin Donuts, the good one is Chocolate Kreme. Have to get them in the morning as they aren't glazed and go hard by lunchtime.



I live in the home market of Krispy Kreme, they went to shit when the did an IPO and went  national/world in the 90s. The frying oil tastes of industrial lubricant now so that the simple glazed or iced ones are inedible. Occasionally the monthly special variety is bold enough to cover up the bad. This month looks grim

[imitationleather]

The ones in M&S are pretty good.

Weirdly since I stopped eating a few of them a week my trousers have been falling down round by my ankles when I'm out walking.

[PlanktonSideburns]

I got a bit addicted to Crosstown's matcha donuts in the winter lockdown:



They've got a really nice dense, bready texture, not like the greasy squashy do's of yore. Vegan too (as are many of their other flavours - the chai custard was another favourite).

I actually don't mind a fairground-style sugary bastard now and then but always custard filling, not jam, never saw the appeal of that.

Christ compels that looks good

[PlanktonSideburns]

Get my doughnuts from the local Polish bakery; massive, lightly glazed, full of vanilla custard, and delicious. They look like so...

Ah man that's the one, with the little ring round it

[PlanktonSideburns]

Kreme sounds a bit too hsart for me

[Butchers Blind]

Krispy Kreme donuts are way overpriced. Lidl do a jaffa donut that is alright.