Post Jokes From All Over The World

[popcorn]

Another Japanese one from the Guardian.

What do pandas eat?
Bread.

I think bread in Japanese is pan da.

Nobody said the jokes had to be funny.

"Pan" is bread (from the Portuguese, not French).

"Da" is a casual copula kinda verb-word thing that sort of kinda means "to be" or "it is".

A more literal translation of the punchline might be "It's bread!", which I think is better.

[Tony Tony Tony]

Why do FSB operatives work in threes?

One can read, one can write and the other keeps an eye on those dangerous intellectuals.

[MortSahlFan]

Why do FSB operatives work in threes?

One can read, one can write and the other keeps an eye on those dangerous intellectuals.

What is FSB?

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

What is FSB?

Rebranded KGB.

[The Culture Bunker]

Bloke goes into a sandwich shop in Tehran and asks for sandwich in Farsi

"Would you like it wrapped?" asks the shop keeper in Farsi

"No thanks" replies the bloke in Farsi, "I'm turning left"

I asked my wife to explain this, and she doesn't have a clue what any of your post means in joke terms.

Obviously I didn't ask her in Farsi, but then she can understand English too, thankfully. Maybe it's because she's from Mashhad, not Tehran.

[Tony Tony Tony]

Soviet era gag for ya....

Igor calls up gas showroom to ask about getting an engineer round to look at his cooker. He is told it will be eighteen months before anyone can come out. Would that be in the morning he asks. The showroom tells him it's eighteen months away what does it matter?

It's just that I have a plumber round that morning he responds.

[Jittlebags]

Mae tad yn hoffi mam ar led a hithau'n hoffi goco.

Which when said in Welsh sounds like 'Father likes marmalde and mother likes cocoa', but it also sounds like 'Father likes mother spreadeagled, and she likes his cock'.

[Astronaut Omens]

When pointing at a Japanese dish consisting of meat and potatoes, some witty people will say
"Nikku Jagar" (Meat and Potatoes), and then pause and say "Rolling Stones, desu ne!" (Rolling Stones, isn't it!), the amusing point being the phonetic resemblance of the phrase "Nikku Jagar" to the name of the lead singer of The Rolling Stones, controversial hitmaker Mick Jagger.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

In Cold War Berlin an American man and a Russian woman get talking at a hotel bar. She invites him back to her room, where he helps himself to an orange from the fruit bowl. She sees him take the bits of orange peel and save them in a little bag. "Why did you do that?" she asked. "Well in America we send all our old orange peel to Russia where they make it into marmalade" he replied.

They go to bed and after having sex the woman takes the used condom and she too saves it in a little bag. "Don't tell me you poor Russians reuse condoms!" the man laughs. "No" she replied "We send them to America where they're made into chewing gum."

[Misspent Boners]

Here's one I heard in Italy:

"Antipasto? Not sure why we call it antipasto, if anything we should advocating it and calling it propasto. That shits delicious."

And from China:

"Just thinkng; spare ribs...if those are the backup ribs, the contingency ribs, then think what the main centrepiece ribs must taste like! Awesome I'd imagine. Maybe one day we'll get to try them."

[MortSahlFan]

In Cold War Berlin an American man and a Russian woman get talking at a hotel bar. She invites him back to her room, where he helps himself to an orange from the fruit bowl. She sees him take the bits of orange peel and save them in a little bag. "Why did you do that?" she asked. "Well in America we send all our old orange peel to Russia where they make it into marmalade" he replied.

They go to bed and after having sex the woman takes the used condom and she too saves it in a little bag. "Don't tell me you poor Russians reuse condoms!" the man laughs. "No" she replied "We send them to America where they're made into chewing gum."

LOL
One day we might find out this is true.