Lamest t-shirts you've purchased

[JaDanketies]

I've got this Sufjan Stevens metal t-shirt but it's cool a f. Nobody who recognises Sufjan has ever commented on it, but whoever does has great taste. The text at the bottom says 'Death with Dignity'.



I've also got a tie-dye t-shirt.

[The Mollusk]

Speaking of Cradle of Filth, my mate had the one with an upside down crucifix with a woman nailed on it (both wrists on the elongated top bit, ankles spread on the two side bits) which said "TOUCHED BY JESUS... FINGERED BY GOD". Even as a 14 year old dickhead with awful taste I thought that was extremely cringey.

Some of my worst offenders:

TEENAGE YEARS:

A shirt by the band Amen with a picture of a shotgun on the front and "TERRORIST ACTION GROUP" on the back in huge letters. Honestly though the fact that this shirt was intentionally printed inside out as if it was making some sort of "shirts yeah? FUCK what you thought you knew about shirts, we are BLOWING UP the conventional method of wearing clothes" statement was by far the lamest thing about it.

A Dead Kennedys "NAZI PUNKS FUCK OFF" shirt which I absolutely loved and wore to death. Got into trouble with the police once for wearing it. I was a bilious gobshite back then and when they told me some people may be offended by the shirt I recall replying "who's gonna be offended eh? NAZIS?" I still sort of stand by that sentiment but the shirt is deliberately, needlessly obnoxious. The print is fucking huge.

EARLY-MID 20s:

A picture of a battered little teddy bear with the slogan "VICTIM OF FETE".

The Harry Potter typeface but it says "HAIRY PORNSTAR". I was a 21 year old virgin at the time.

A load of cheesy Threadless shite as well, like the one with a cat wearing big glasses in outer space shooting lasers out its eyes (not an exaggeration).

[dissolute ocelot]

I once owned a commercially produced t-shirt with a picture of erstwhile Guardian TV critic Nancy Banks-Smith on the front. People would say "Is that a picture of Thora Hird/her off of Driving School/every other old lady in the world?"

[buttgammon]

One that I wore to death was a black t-shirt that had a monochrome picture of the Mitchell brothers on it. The first time I wore it was on a day I was coming back from a holiday in Prague but my flight was delayed, so I spent about six hours sitting in the airport while enduring British tourists pointing at it and laughing. I still have it, but the design is starting to crack, so it now looks like they've aged horribly.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I had a home made t- shirt with that Blue Jam image ( the show, not the popular poster from off 'ere) of the composite picture of Julia Davis and whoever else, with the tear running down the face, and the caption " Now...what seems to be the problem?" across it. Wore it to death, so I did.

Erm....that"s the second post I've made that is not suited for this thread. Sorry again.

[Jockice]

The best/worst one I've seen lately was on a friend's Facebook page recently. He's a massive Gary Numan fan and has been since the beginning. He's a few years younger than me though, so would only have been around ten during the early days. In this photo he's obviously asked his mum and dad to got him a t-shirt for his birthday or something. And they've bought him a plain red one and had the words 'Gary Numan' printed on it in that sort of 70s typeface used for the Goodies logo. It's both absolutely terrible and absolutely brilliant. I wish I had one.

The more I think about it the better it gets. The only way it could be improved would be if the surname had been spelled 'Newman.'

[Norton Canes]

When I was about 15 bought a t-shirt featuring 'The Rude Mr Men', basically twelve of the Mr Men drawn with big cocks

[Neomod]

I don't think I've ever bought a bad t shirt, why would I? My best was given to me aged 8 from my auntie in the states. Yellow T with Muhammad Ali and his "Floats Like A Butterfly, Stings Like a Bee". Wore it to death until it got covered in blood when I cracked my head open at a cub scout camp.

I suppose my most controversial were the T's I bought from the Last Resort in Aldgate. The 4 Skins, The Last Resort, Crucified Skin etc. Still got em, never gonna wear em.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Not my own t-shirt but I've always felt that surely the person who bought it must be aware of how wrong it could go:

[Jockice]

When I was about 15 bought a t-shirt featuring 'The Rude Mr Men', basically twelve of the Mr Men drawn with big cocks

At around that age a friend of mine bought one of those Hitler: European Tour ones. Which I think he wore once before his mum discovered it and made him bin it.

[Jerzy Bondov]

I had this absolutely fucking shameful 'Camden Market humour' t-shirt that I literally got from Camden Market:

I cannot believe I wore that so much.

I'm sitting here right now wearing a Yasogami High t-shirt from Persona 4 so I can't really criticise my past self too harshly. At least it's just nerd shit instead of sexist though.

I would like to mention that I lost my virginity while wearing a t-shirt that said 'STAR WARS EPISODE 1' on it.

[seepage]

I had a TechEd 2003 Barcelona t-shirt in the most violent shade of cyan Microsoft could find. Came with matching wheelie backpack. Easy to spot on the luggage carousel though.

Friend used to wear one with the Oasis logo with 'Oasis' replaced by 'Tiny Penis'. Bloke at work mostly wore one with a faux-faded sausage brand logo that said 'Thick 100% Pork'.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I used to have a t-shirt with a picture of Farrah Fawcett- Major in her 70s , wavy hair, teeth pomp with the word " Slut" written beneath it. The name of the company what made this delightful piece of clothing was benamed Serial Killer, and their name also appeared on the t-shirt .

This was a long time ago.

I remember reading a thread on 'ere about Sutcliffe Nugent which mentioned a live concert at which t-shirts based on their latest hit album " We Spit On Your Graves" was being sold. The t-shirt design had that title emblazoned it, along with pictures of each of the victims of top bloke I used to work with lookalike Peter Sutcliffe. Wonder how many of those t-shirts got sold and subsequently worn?

Not correcting the spellchecker versh of the band's name.

[The Crumb]

Not quite this exact design, but I couldn't resist picking up a BUM equipment shirt in Malaysia

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I used to have a Monty Python t-shirt with a cartoon Gumby on it, along with the words " My Brain Hurts". Is that lame or not? My 12 year old self would have been chuffed to bits with it. I was very far from 12 at the time of wearing it, though.

[The Dog]

St Ivel Gold T-shirt. I was really into spreads.

[JaDanketies]

I would like to mention that I lost my virginity while wearing a t-shirt that said 'STAR WARS EPISODE 1' on it.

Was just seeing if I could remember what tshirt I was wearing when I lost my virginity, but obviously I was naked like a normal person

[Jockice]

yes that's a Cradle of Filth shirt, those ragamuffins straight out of Suffolk. they were death metal to start with, then moved into histrionic gothic black stuff. their really notorious shirt is the "Vestal Masturbation" one with a nun masturbating with a crucifix that has "JESUS IS A CUNT" on the back. seen it a few times at shows (once when someone drunkenly bought it from a stall before a Metallica tribute band), but never outside on the street.

A friend of mine had a Jesus Is A Lie t-shirt he'd bought at a Shamen gig we'd both attended. I wanted to borrow it for an open day at my old Catholic secondary school but I chickened out. What a wimp!

[Dex Sawash]

Polio Ralph Lauren

Bought this for my wife's step-dad one Christmas

[Jerzy Bondov]

Was just seeing if I could remember what tshirt I was wearing when I lost my virginity, but obviously I was naked like a normal person

We were in a bit of a rush

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

We were in a bit of a rush

Then you got off the bus !!!

[JaDanketies]

In terms of t-shirts I don't wear very often, I've got this one, which I don't wear because I can't be like 'lol blaze weed every day' when I'm a dad. It can't be that lame though cos Eminem had it in the liners of one of his earlier albums.



I got it when I was about 12 - I know because there's pictures of me wearing it in the WTC, which I went to in February 2001. I believe my mum threw it out because it was distasteful - she denies it, but I definitely wouldn't have chucked it - and then like 15 years later, my brother gave it to me as a present!

It's like 3 Pope's old, too, with John Paul II dying in 2005.

[Jockice]

Was just seeing if I could remember what tshirt I was wearing when I lost my virginity, but obviously I was naked like a normal person

I lost my virginity because earlier that evening I'd lost my jumper in a nightclub, which set off a chain of events leading to a young lady I'd never met before staying in my parents' attic bedroom. It was a brown sort of mohair one from Camden market, and it was only the first or second time I'd ever wore it.  I never saw it again, And only ever met the woman once more in my life.

Hey maybe someone should write a song about losing your jumper in a nightclub.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I like how Camden Market is a recurring motif in this thread.

I actually had a t-shirt purchased from Camden Market too, it had Octopus Attacks On Tokyo written on it in nice, stylish letters, with an equally as nice picture on it. I quite liked it.

Is anyone wearing a t-shirt whilst posting on this thread? I'm wearing a khaki green " Dismaland" t-shirt at the minute.

[Jockice]

I like how Camden Market is a recurring motif in this thread.

I actually had a t-shirt purchased from Camden Market too, it had Octopus Attacks On Tokyo written on it in nice, stylish letters, with an equally as nice picture on it. I quite liked it.

Is anyone wearing a t-shirt whilst posting on this thread? I'm wearing a khaki green " Dismaland" t-shirt at the minute.

Same t-shirt as yesterday I'm afraid.. I wore it in bed last night too. But I've put a dark blue sweat shirt with a New York logo on as well. I've never been to New York in my life.

[thelittlemango]

I'm really into the weird Bart Simpson t-shirts you find in Camden Market, but also seemingly every knock-off market in the world, where he's drawn slightly strangely and often made to look like a rasta and things.

My cringiest isn't a t-shirt but it's a hoody that I got when I was 14 after Slipknot's debut album came out that had written on the back "fuck it all, fuck this world, fuck everything that you stand for!". I looked about 12 at the time and I remember some metal fans in HMV pointing at me while I browsed for the heavier side of things and saying "great to see them getting into the good stuff at a young age". My sister gave it to me as a present, so out of politeness I felt I had to wear it and as a timid and introverted kid it was like walking the gauntlet of shame each and every time.

[Gurke and Hare]

Is anyone wearing a t-shirt whilst posting on this thread? I'm wearing a khaki green " Dismaland" t-shirt at the minute.

I'm wearing a t-shirt with a made up bus map for Westeros (the place in Game of Thrones). No, you're wrong, this isn't lame.

[seepage]

Is anyone wearing a t-shirt whilst posting on this thread? I'm wearing a khaki green " Dismaland" t-shirt at the minute.

Next 'The Essential Tee' in a dusky tan. No logo.

The label says: "IF IT'S NOT DIRTY WASH AT 30". Surely better advice would be "If it's not dirty, don't wash it"?

[Jockice]

My sister gave it to me as a present, so out of politeness I felt I had to wear it and as a timid and introverted kid it was like walking the gauntlet of shame each and every time.

When I was about 11 someone bought me an Idontgoto University t-shirt, which I thought was hilarious until my sister pointed out that one of the things pictured on the logo was a vibrator. In fact I have a feeling that it may have been her who bought me it. Thanks sis.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Most 11 year olds don't go to university. Was it bought as a way of mocking you for not being a prodigy?