Incessant hypochondria

[kalowski]

Anyone else?
Spot on skin = I have skin cancer
Pain in back = I have kidney cancer
Itchy bottom = Here comes bowel cancer
Dribbly piss? That's my prostate cancer
Every fucking cough ever is a sign of lung cancer and every twinge in my chest is an oncoming heart attack.

[imitationleather]

I think everyone gets this.

Having sore arms and thinking "Oh God, this is a heart attack!" until I realise it's from sitting hunched at a desk for hours is a classic and personal favourite of mine.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

I'm the other way. I'm that person who goes to work with "just a cough" (pre-pandemic) that turns out to be bronchitis.

[kalowski]

I think everyone gets this.

I hope so, otherwise I'm definitely dying.

[popcorn]

I don't do this. I assume everything is not serious because it usually isn't.

[The Ombudsman]

Yeah, this is me. And I'm a googler too when it comes to symptoms. Doctor said it's part of anxiety rather than hypochondria proper. Got very bad after my mum died. Credit where credits due, she was marvellous in keeping me sane, Dr that is. Sometimes they go above and beyond and I felt she did in for me.

[imitationleather]

Yeah, this is me. And I'm a googler too when it comes to symptoms.

Oh man. Never do this.

Every symptom leads to death.

Be a real man and hope it goes away by itself.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I remember the olden days before google where you had to use a health encyclopedia and it took you a bit longer to diagnose yourself with DEAD SOON.

[ZoyzaSorris]

One of the worst days of my life was getting the call from the cancer lab saying there was nothing wrong with me. There is something wrong with me, they just haven't found it yet. I may go to my grave at the ripe old age of 100 before they find it the way things are headed.

[flotemysost]

I do panic whenever I get a random chest pain, as I've got a family history of dodgy heart/circulation stuff, but also I should probably just try to be less stressed/anxious and also stop taking drugs/salted peanuts. Most other stuff, I'm of the "book a doctor's appointment if I'm particularly worried, otherwise just keep an eye on it and watch out for any changes but don't worry about it too much" school.

Oh man. Never do this.

Every symptom leads to death.

Be a real man and hope it goes away by itself.

Re: Googling, it can be useful, especially for conditions which are frequently overlooked by GPs - for instance, I gleaned far more useful (to me) information about PCOS from online communities than from my doctor at the time - BUT it's probably unwise if you're already in an anxious/fretful/gloomy mindset. And obviously goes without saying there's an awful lot of quackery/woo online too.

[imitationleather]

I'm forever worried about my balls.

[Dex Sawash]

Wrist cancer flaring up today

[Sebastian Cobb]

I'm forever worried about my balls.

i assumed you'd got crabs.

[Butchers Blind]

I have a lazy attitude when it comes to my health. If I have bit pain, take some ibuprofen and a nap. Usually it's fine.
I had some irritating skin tags once, cut them off with nail clippers.

[Chedney Honks]

.

[bakabaka]

And I'm a googler too when it comes to symptoms.

At least it's a good way to discover that you don't have Housemaid's Knee.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

recently, I've been getting a twinge in my lower abdomen, when I cough or laugh. I'm mildly fretting that it might be the onset of a hernia, but trying to ignore it, so as not to make a fuss. Plus, at my age, I assume the doctor would just tell me I'm getting old and I need to accept it.

[imitationleather]

At your age, the doctor is more likely to tell you that you're dying and have a good old chuckle at your expense.

[Chedney Honks]

On the flipside, not a joke but I put off going to the doctor about 'a new freckle' for about a year and after an 18 month further delay due to Covid, I finally had skin cancer removed a couple of weeks ago. It nearly left me blind in one eye. 😂😂😂

[Hat FM]

constantly think i'm on the brink of diabetes. always getting twinges in my legs and ankles.

[Cloud]

Oh yeah this is very much me.  I never used to be this bad, then I hit the mid 30s and started worrying about every little "odd feeling".

Also terrible for Googling, which inevitably leads you to be convinced that it's cancer. Doesn't help also that a lot of results are in the US, where there's a lot of commercial interest i.e. "you have a SNIFFLE?!  Oh my goodness, get your credit card out and go see a doctor right away!".  If you look on the NHS site for your symptoms it tends to be a lot more level headed.

Just healed from having a mole out just above my foot.  It bled in the shower once (fairly sure because of dry skin and because I scratched it to fuck) but at that point it was on my mind - doesn't help matters that I know a melanoma survivor - one thing led to another and I was sat in the dermatologist's office being told "well it might be dysplastic, monitor it or have it removed, your choice" and I was "GET IT OFF ME".
Bastard incision got infected and took 9 weeks to heal.  Sometimes wish I'd never bothered, but they still haven't given me the results so it could still be cancer.  Normally you'd say "nah they'd have told you by now if it was positive" but with everything backlogged who knows.

[Lemming]

Had a really bad phase of this a few years ago, which started because of something that genuinely was really scary and unusual (but turned out to be nothing), and was then compounded by a few other conditions flaring up, all of which I assumed were far worse than they were. During the worst of it, I had acid reflux (lifelong), constant nausea (probably caused by the panic), anal fissure (worst agony on planet Earth), strange skin condition with my legs, and odd pressure changes in my ears which were accompanied by lightheadedness and/or tinnitus. Genuinely thought it was game over, but they all cleared up, bar the acid reflux which is just one of those things.

Pretty much recovered from hypochondria now. There's a lump on my neck right now, don't give a fuck mate, it's fading now anyway. A really really really useful trick to help you calm down when a new lump or spot appears is to put your finger on the skin next to it and slide your skin around. If the lump moves with your skin, then it's nothing. I discovered it when I was convinced something was going on with my lymph nodes, and my friend pointed out that if the lump is part of your skin, then it can't be a megatumour or whatever the fuck (except skin cancer, obviously). I don't know if that's actual medical advice or even remotely based in reality, but it's calmed me down hundreds of times.

The only ones that still get me nowadays are the occasional chest pains where you spend about five intense seconds or so thinking "yep, that's it, goodbye, someone will find me partially decomposed on this very sofa in a few days, covered in my own shit" before it passes, and, of course, balls. I'm not touching my balls for more than three seconds. I'm not letting anyone else touch my balls. I don't even want to think about what's going on there. Hand brushes against nuts while towel-drying, ooh, what was that I felt, unusual swelling or hardness? Leave it a mystery, not going back to check, fuck that.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Never used to be like this until the pandemic. Now I get really anxious all the time that something could be a potential symptom. One side of my forehead throbbed slightly for three seconds today when I was looking out the window taking a break from several hours on the computer and I got worried. Looking online headaches related to COVID generally last for 48 to 72 hours or more not three seconds.

[non capisco]

This shite has started preying on my mind now I'm in my 40s. Last summer I was walking about and suddenly felt a sharp pain in my left arm. I was honestly absolutely delighted to look down and see a wasp hanging out of it. You beautiful stripy bastard! O, winged prince of relief!

The thought of losing my mind has really started to preoccupy me since watching it happen to my mum. The other day I couldn't remember the name of Mick Taylor from the Rolling Stones [nb]pre-emptive "hur hur you ARE losing it mate, his name's Mick JAGGER!"[/nb] and that was it for me, started thinking about early onset dementia at age 42. Definitely come and talk to me if you see me at a party, I am a RIGHT laugh.

[Cloud]

Yeah can identify with compounding symptoms as well.

One last year that I still get now is a sort of "belly discomfort".  Went to the GP terrified it was colon cancer (family history) and he had a poke around.  "Nah mate you'd be out here somewhere and it'd be pretty solid, don't think you have anything to worry about, I'll take a blood test, advise you not to drink so much, and get an ultrasound booked"
The ultrasound never materialised as this was a week or so before covid kicked off.
95% sure it's just because I'm getting FAT and my pants are too tight.  It's the discomfort of having a bunch of flab around the belly that wasn't there before.

But still - when the mole bleed happened (left ankle), this and a slight ache in the left groin region whenever I had a wank (IDK, it's gone now) sent my mind on visions of the mole being a melanoma spewing cancer up to the lymph nodes in that area and then spreading to the belly and "OMG dead soon".  I fortunately managed to tell myself it was irrational catastrophising.


Oh and worry on behalf of others too.  Dementia is definitely something that terrifies me as a concept and every time a parent has a mild derp moment I'm side eyeing them thinking "don't you dare"

[Sebastian Cobb]

I've had a lump in that area I'm not really sure is strictly speaking thigh or arse cheek that I was meaning to get looked at before covid. Fairly sure it's a cyst, it hasn't got alarmingly bigger so it's probably fine.

[kalowski]

I had a varicocele (basically big bollock veins) and had to go for an ultrasound. The jolly operator said, "Yes, this looks like varicocele, but let's pop you over and just have a quick check it's not kidney cancer." (It wasn't)
Ever since I've just assumed any back/bollock/groin pain is kidney cancer.

And I have seen how this can go. 2013: May 5, mum goes to the GP because she has a painful back. June 23, dies of lung cancer.
I just assume the same will happen to me (although I don't smoke).

[ProvanFan]

I had high bilirubin in a couple of blood tests in my youth, which my mum diagnosed as Gilbert's syndrome and she still brings it up once in a while.

"Mind you've got your Gilbert's"

I don't let it hold me back. Livin' life to the full.

[Cloud]

And I have seen how this can go. 2013: May 5, mum goes to the GP because she has a painful back. June 23, dies of lung cancer.

:( Sorry for your loss.

But yeah that's another input.  I've seen a few stories like this, "hmm, slight twinge, better get it seen to".  Shortly after, dead from cancer.  Seems you don't always have the thing of excruciating pain or losing a ton of weight or whatever.

Ultimately what I try to think is "if something happens it happens, I can't control it and can only be sensible and get things seen to if they're too suspicious".  Could get hit by a bus tomorrow, or could get hit by cancer.  Or could get affected by something I do have control over, such as drinking too much, which I'll unwisely worry about later.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Contrary to the dire warnings of older people, I've managed to remain in pretty decent physical condition as I approach middle age, so I would almost be more upset to find that some new pain was just age related. At least if it's some disease, the doctors might be able to fix it. With age it's just, "This is the rest of your life now. Sorry."