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American Breakfast

Started by Chedney Honks, July 30, 2021, 12:38:21 PM

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Sebastian Cobb

[tag]Guess Who first draft 'needs work'[/tag]

Icehaven

I've got no sweet tooth so theoretically I shouldn't like maple syrup and pancakes, but combined with bacon it does actually work. Not for my arteries, heart or teeth of course, but tastewise it's a nice combo of salt and sweet. Chicken fried steak for breakfast can sod off though, ugh.

monkfromhavana

Quote from: madhair60 on July 30, 2021, 03:27:12 PM
CHICKEN AND WAFFLES

Honestly. You're either having dinner or dessert, choose one.


Ferris

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on July 30, 2021, 04:11:46 PM
[tag]Guess Who first draft 'needs work'[/tag]

Supertramp surely?

Quote from: monkfromhavana on July 30, 2021, 03:55:04 PM
It's my extensive experience of American life (Watching a few TV shows) that the only meal Americans eat at home are Xmas, Thanksgiving and takeaways that come in about 27 separate boxes. Every other meal is eaten at a restaurant that looks like a school cafeteria, a diner or a food truck.

One guilty pleasure is Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives where all the food looks simultaneously wonderful and monstrously awful with about 500 random urbs thrown in to make the "flavour profile" taste good. The breakfasts all look absolutely atrocious. Who wants a fuck-off burrito for breakfast? Or a cake? or a chicken-fried steak (a waste of steak....if the steak was any good, which in most cases it probably isn't)

If you hang around long enough on an American forum, you see just how utterly fucked most Americans' relationship with food is. Decades of commercialisation has crushed the idea of cooking as an artform. You just buy a load of pre-made components and stick them together. They've seen a bit of Gordon Ramsay with his highfalutin food critique so they start appraising big brand fast food and soft drinks the way we'd discuss fine restaurant dining with no hint of irony.

They also talk about "seasoning" in this weird way, like you can just throw a load of salt and random herbs and spices onto anything and it's guaranteed to transform it for the better, or they'll debate which "seasoning" is best, like this:

https://www.resetera.com/threads/lawrys-garlic-salt-with-parsley-is-the-best-seasoning-right.181205/

Don't worry about whether it complements the base flavours of your ingredients, just fucking get it on there. Seasoned food is good food. Nobody ever pipes up with "actually, if I'm cooking with beef, I'll use x, but I'll put y on pork", just slavish brand loyalty, everything tasting the same.

DrGreggles

I bloody love breakfasting(?) in America.
It's fat man heaven.

Cuntbeaks


Butchers Blind

Have a coffee and a slice of toast and get to work. Who's got time for all that in the morning.

The Mollusk

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on July 30, 2021, 04:05:18 PM
I'll stick my oar in here and say American breakfasts are fucking boss and if you can't hack it then that's on you.

He's right. Youse wanna go over there and eat the bastard thing. There's a reason why it's so popular, and it's not because you blinkered fucking baked bean jockeys generate all the attention through your disdain of it. It's because it tastes fucking MINT, it's huge and insane. You might only need to eat it once to be like "yeah I get it okay" but you'll always come away from that experience responding positively. You know it'll snap your pathetic wispy cobweb bones and flood your tattered newspaper arteries if you eat it for more than a week of your life but deep down you know this is it, this is LIVING condensed into the most fucking high intensity sugared offal cannon and the highs you experience there and then will never be topped by any genuine feelings of true love of any breathtaking natural spectacle or any expensive high concept dining experience. It's fucking incredible, go eat it and die happy.

Chedney Honks

I actually think I am. I was walking up some stairs before and I fuckin swear my heart started squelching.

Ferris

Quote from: The Mollusk on July 30, 2021, 06:29:15 PM
He's right. Youse wanna go over there and eat the bastard thing. There's a reason why it's so popular, and it's not because you blinkered fucking baked bean jockeys generate all the attention through your disdain of it. It's because it tastes fucking MINT, it's huge and insane. You might only need to eat it once to be like "yeah I get it okay" but you'll always come away from that experience responding positively. You know it'll snap your pathetic wispy cobweb bones and flood your tattered newspaper arteries if you eat it for more than a week of your life but deep down you know this is it, this is LIVING condensed into the most fucking high intensity sugared offal cannon and the highs you experience there and then will never be topped by any genuine feelings of true love of any breathtaking natural spectacle or any expensive high concept dining experience. It's fucking incredible, go eat it and die happy.

Nail on head.

The Mollusk

Also the dessert/breakfast argument, there's sugar or sweetness in so many things we eat for breakfast over here: hot sauce/brown sauce/ketchup, marmalade/jam, pastries, yoghurt, or in your tea or coffee? You're just thinking it's more of a dessert (well, in terms of amount of food on the plate, I'll grant you, it is) because it LOOKS more like what you attribute to be a dessert item.

Video Game Fan 2000

The country that puts BAKED BEANS on a breakfast having a pop at pancakes, just shameful.

Video Game Fan 2000

I don't know how Americans eat pancakes and waffles for breakfast, why can't they just eat something that makes their digestive tract sound like Brian Blessed with a fit of the giggles like every civilised nation. Just can't start the day until I've got a colon like a balloon animal.

Shit Good Nose

Me and Mrs Nose enjoyed several nice breakfasts when we went to San Francisco (including an incredible put-together-your-own-breakfast from the custom menu at Mama's On Washington Square - amazing blackberry jam), and it was nice to have the option of being able to get a "dessert" breakfast, or even steak and eggs in so many places, IF we wanted it (I guess that's what comes of having a much larger and more established night-time and shift workforce).

One thing we did notice though, and this also seemed to be the case in the shittier diners we went to, is that it's not as cheap as you would expect/are led to believe.  We found prices in most places were similar, if not a little bit more expensive, as the UK equivalent, and that went for eating out generally as well.  Granted we didn't come across any of those canteens/cafeterias where you could load up a large plate with whatever you wanted from thirty different metal troughs under heat lamps for $5, but even so...

Ferris

Re: bacon. Yeah the default American bacon is shite (and typically fried to the point of incoherence), but you can usually upgrade it to "back bacon" (ie the British style stuff) for an extra quid if you're somewhere decent. Top tip there.

Not been out for a big massive monster fuck off brekky for ages cos of that covid, dead excited to get one in another month or two. Well, dead anyway.

Ferris

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on July 30, 2021, 06:51:24 PM
One thing we did notice though, and this also seemed to be the case in the shittier diners we went to, is that it's not as cheap as you would expect/are led to believe.  We found prices in most places were similar, if not a little bit more expensive, as the UK equivalent, and that went for eating out generally as well.  Granted we didn't come across any of those canteens/cafeterias where you could load up a large plate with whatever you wanted from thirty different metal troughs under heat lamps for $5, but even so...

San Fran though, everything is expensive. Plus you have to know the right spots for premium cheapo grease, can't just have it so's any old prick can walk in and get their arteries fucked for cheap. That's the mystery, the thrill of the chase, the bottomless coffee.

I knew some belters in Toronto that would load you up with a massive plate of grub for about 4 quid - one would go cheaper than that if you got there before 8am.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

You got any biscuits for sale in there? Mm hmm.

TrenterPercenter

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on July 30, 2021, 06:35:49 PM
Nail on head.

Wait a minute though - breakfast is an everyday affair you either eat a stack of pancakes, butter and bacon waffles a day or you get that kaboose in the line with the rest of the can't hack it plebs.

None of this gonna do it in couple of months nonsense.

TrenterPercenter

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on July 30, 2021, 06:39:52 PM
The country that puts BAKED BEANS on a breakfast having a pop at pancakes, just shameful.

Baked Beans are made for putting on a breakfast?! What is wrong with you and your opinions, there are people out there that you can talk to about these things and can help you know.

Video Game Fan 2000

There isn't even supposed to be tomato sauce in "baked beans"!

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on July 30, 2021, 06:51:36 PM
Re: bacon. Yeah the default American bacon is shite (and typically fried to the point of incoherence), but you can usually upgrade it to "back bacon" (ie the British style stuff) for an extra quid if you're somewhere decent. Top tip there.

I'm a big fan of streaky bacon, so I never had any complaints with the American stuff, but as you say nearly everywhere had the option to have back, and a few places also had middle and Canadian bacon as options.

thenoise

Americans invented brunch (i presume), two massive meals a day is plenty especially when I'm on holiday. And snacking constantly.

But crepes > American pancakes (obviously) and English fry up > American version, with very few exceptions (eg proper hash browns).

Ferris

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on July 30, 2021, 07:03:52 PM
I'm a big fan of streaky bacon, so I never had any complaints with the American stuff, but as you say nearly everywhere had the option to have back, and a few places also had middle and Canadian bacon as options.

Peameal bacon is the one to watch out for, that's top tier. It's pork loin rolled in pea meal and seasoning, but sliced thin and fried. Like back bacon but without the scraggy fatty bits and more of the good stuff.

TrenterPercenter


Video Game Fan 2000

Putting baked beans in tomato sauce and dumping them on a fried breakfast is just making a map of colonial atrocities out of food.

Shit Good Nose

Apologies for interrupting the baked beans controversy, but I forgot to say Mrs Nose's favourite American breakfast thing is Moons Over My Hammy (which I think Denny's originally coined, but you could get it pretty much everywhere).

Noodle Lizard

From what I gather, most Americans eat cereal for breakfast. They're just like us! I'd personally take a full English over a full American breakfast, but I almost always skip it anyway so I have no real stake in it.

Incidentally, Spain has some of the best food in the world, but their breakfast game is rubbish. I don't think they even have one, really. Same with Mexican food, as far as I can tell, they basically just have a morning lunch. But the rest of it's so good. Can't judge a nation's cuisine on breakfast alone.

jamiefairlie

There's few finer things in life than bringing the family to Denny's and immersing yourself in the humongous menu of many delights.

chveik

pint of federal milk anyone?