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Tennis Gruntling

Started by Chedney Honks, July 30, 2021, 08:05:54 PM

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Chedney Honks

What the fuck is this about, really?

It's so dramatic and unnecessarily ugly. Grotesque exhalation and a delayed vibrato grunt. Sounds like someone coming on a treadmill. Why do they do it?

I've doneness a lot of kung fu over the years and I was taught too make an exhalation or some noise to channel the violent energy but even then, I opted for a 'fffsssshhhh' rather than a 'pppk-aaaaaaeeeerrrrrgggghhhhh'.

Is it trolling? It works. I hate it.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Chedney Honks on July 30, 2021, 08:05:54 PM
Is it trolling? It works. I hate it.

It's a neologism and a portmanteau of trolling and grunting.

Attila

People were complaining about Monica Seles back in the early 1990s. Jimmy Connors was another grunty tennis player.

monkfromhavana


Sebastian Cobb

Tennis is shit for cunts and Wimbledon should be turned into social housing, cheers.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: touchingcloth on July 30, 2021, 08:15:42 PM
It's a neologism and a portmanteau of trolling and grunting.

I think you are thinking of Mummy

chveik

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on July 30, 2021, 08:44:13 PM
Tennis is shit for cunts

why don't you keep your terrible opinions for yourself?

Chedney Honks

Quote from: monkfromhavana on July 30, 2021, 08:39:44 PM
Total bollocks.

Don't look at the finger, buddy. How dare you.

FredNurke

It drowns out the sound of the ball coming off the racket, and therefore deprives the opponent of information about what the ball is likely to be doing. It's particularly common among graduates of the Bollettieri tennis academy. Coincidence?

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

There was one woman who used to make this sort of "Woooooooo" noise whenever she hit the ball. That was especially stupid.

Edit: Azarenka.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=m8AVVPEv5Fc

Mate.

Chedney Honks

Quote from: FredNurke on July 31, 2021, 12:03:22 PM
It drowns out the sound of the ball coming off the racket, and therefore deprives the opponent of information about what the ball is likely to be doing. It's particularly common among graduates of the Bollettieri tennis academy. Coincidence?

That's very interesting, cheers. It should be banned.

greenman

Keith Jarrett has a lot to answer for.

Icehaven

Do they do it when they're practicing?

Psybro

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on July 31, 2021, 02:30:20 PM
There was one woman who used to make this sort of "Woooooooo" noise whenever she hit the ball. That was especially stupid.

Edit: Azarenka.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=m8AVVPEv5Fc

Mate.

She was banking on having an opponent who was shit scared of either ghosts or owls.

Uncle TechTip

A fellow on the table tennis was doing this last night and when pressed the professional table tennis player on commentary tried to explain that the player "just needed to release some air".

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: greenman on July 31, 2021, 02:55:33 PM
Keith Jarrett has a lot to answer for.

Laughed.


I have no interest in tennis (in fact I remember more the films and TV shows that over-running matches have prevented from being shown over the years, sometimes with them never being rescheduled), but was it not banned some years ago?  I mean obviously not, but I remember uproar and times when umpires warned players about it making general news headlines.

steve98

I expect, in time, it'll spread to the spectators: all the fans who support the server grunting along with her/him. A big massive *UUUHH* battering the receiver.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Repeat offenders should be made to wear a motorcycle helmet so it gets muffled slightly. Or a gimp mask.

Kankurette

And then they'll be disgruntled.

steve98

Apropos of nothing, meet the self-described Gimp-Man of Essex, aimin' to raise a smile in Colchester.



Shit Good Nose

Maybe if I go and do my stubborn shits courtside (with a portapotty) people wouldn't complain about my "sex grunts" whilst doing them for a change.

Johnny Yesno

Quote from: steve98 on August 01, 2021, 10:04:18 AM
I expect, in time, it'll spread to the spectators: all the fans who support the server grunting along with her/him. A big massive *UUUHH* battering the receiver.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3sgLzLcgCk

Chedney Honks

Quote from: steve98 on August 01, 2021, 07:36:55 PM
Apropos of nothing, meet the self-described Gimp-Man of Essex, aimin' to raise a smile in Colchester.

We had to uninvite this guy from the CHC98. Really did not grok our vibe.

buttgammon

Quote from: steve98 on August 01, 2021, 07:36:55 PM
Apropos of nothing, meet the self-described Gimp-Man of Essex, aimin' to raise a smile in Colchester.




Those boots don't go with that outfit. At least make sure they're as polished as the suit.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

I think they're wellies.

buttgammon

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on August 01, 2021, 08:24:17 PM
I think they're wellies.

Someone who's gone to that much effort - and expense (latex isn't cheap) - is wasting their time if they're going around in wellies!

Cuellar

I don't care about grunting in tennis and I don't think, if they were really being honest with themselves, anyone else actually does either.

steve98

Quote from: Cuellar on August 01, 2021, 08:28:14 PM
I don't care about grunting in tennis and I don't think, if they were really being honest with themselves, anyone else actually does either.

I do, it drives me mad. In fact I've had to take a break from watching to prioritize my mental health (And I'm not expecting (or fishing for) compliments)

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: steve98 on August 01, 2021, 09:48:02 PM
I do, it drives me mad. In fact I've had to take a break from watching to prioritize my mental health (And I'm not expecting (or fishing for) compliments)

You're only saying that to deflect from the fact that your gymnastics performance was an embarrassment.  And I'm all for being allowed to wear what you want so as not to be sexy, but dungarees and wellies?

Twit 2

Received a breathless PM from Chedney Honks asking if I'll "go gruntling" with him. He says it will be "ace". How should I proceed?