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March 28, 2024, 01:22:41 PM

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Ever had your ringpiece pulled out with a coathanger?

Started by shiftwork2, July 31, 2021, 12:03:02 AM

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shiftwork2


gib

you've got to search for the hero inside yourself

pancreas

So yes, a friend from school who isn't me did this. The friend said it was a happy accident. He said he wasn't much enamoured of his ring piece anyway, and didn't want to be turned gay through rimming. (He turned gay anyway, unfortunately ...) Anyway, it started as a gaping experiment. There were two wire coat hangers and he was pushing the rounded hooks up his arse simultaneously. He said he was more successful than he expected in terms of diameter, to the point that one of them actually passed through. But then his mum unexpectedly opened the door to remind him The Next Generation was on and he pulled the hanger out too quickly and the ringpiece pinged off into her throat and he had to give her heimlich while his arse was bleeding cats and dogs.

Glad it wasn't me!!

shiftwork2

Ah nice, so it ended well.  All's well that ends well.  This is a Peoples-Friend style thread for stories about what happens to people.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

A backstreet abortion went awry through the doctor not first ascertaining the locations of arses and fannies.

It should not necessarily have come to pass. He was well-received and waissailed with the Duchy of Lancaster's chief of staff who later approached the Doctor with a matter of deep sensitivity and discretion. Unfortunately while feasting in Tring the revelries had taken on darker purposes, and to cut a long story short, eighteen women had been impregnated, four horses had bled out, three servant boys were terribly badly bruised from neck to rump, and two performance enhancing spiders had to be put down.

'Don't worry, Sir. Leave this with me'

'I entrust to you this sacred task. No-one must find out, and the facts of the matter must be taken to the grave'

Clarice's ring piece made a SCHKLANGGGGG sound on a council bin as it was hooked from her biological casings. There would be no child. The task had been completed, if not to the letter, then at least to the paragraph.

Mr Eggs

Anyone from Skelmersdale is a slip from a drunk abortionist.


pancreas


poo


Rejected Round The Twist theme tune lyric "fair enough" say critics.

Twit 2

Always wanted to try this but concerned it would scuff my hawk's beak anus.