Funny Mishaps

[Chedney Honks]

Had to edit this out. Seemed funny immediately after but now I'm home I need to get my stitches looked at. I'll save the anecdote for the order of service. 😂😂😂

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I was going to say that I changed my nametag to read KILL WHITEY then I remember I worked from home. Probley my gf will be upset when she sees it though because she is whitey

[Endicott]

If we've learned anything, it's that Coke Zero is strong stuff.

[Captain Z]

I thought it was quite funny, you must have been pretty shitfaced to get your lips sewn together like that.

[steve98]

I thought it was quite funny, you must have been pretty shitfaced to get your lips sewn together like that.

But to call the local rag saying "This is how terrified of Covid I am: I've sewn my lips together," and to threaten "If something (anything) isn't done by someone somewhere soon, I'm going to sew my nostrils together," is sort of pathetic. Sew your nose together mate, no-one cares.

[ZoyzaSorris]

My kid and I found a battered old skateboard abandoned in the park, still just about usable, and thought we might as well grab it for messing around in the garden. We've got a few old scaffold boards knocking about and some chunky bits of old sleeper off-cuts, and I thought I might have a bit of fun making a little ramp with a few blocks of sleeper holding up one end of a scaffold board. The kid had a bit of fun sitting on the board and trying to ride down the ramp (usually it would come off before it reached the bottom due to the narrowness of the board, but the thing was pretty low and minimal safety issues when sitting.)

I was out in the garden with the other half and thought, I know what would be great idea, I'm going to hook the back wheels over the end of the board, jump on and lean forward a bit to release the wheels, and zoom down the ramp, wheeeee, and might even look quite cool at the same time, probably might even impress the missus. I mean, Ive never skated in my life, but what could go wrong?

So I stood on top, got myself in a loose, skatery stance, perfectly poised and balanced, lean forward to release the wheels... and as I did so, immediately my legs flew up, the skateboard went flying off into the bushes, and I haphazardly tumbled in pure slapstick fashion, legs flailing in the air as I fell, my arm breaking my fall with a full karate chop to the scaffold board propelled by my full - and not inconsiderable - body weight, snapping the inch-thick plank of wood clean in half in one hit. If only I had got a kittens style video.

How I didn't fracture my arm I don't know. Possibly I did, but it didn't feel like it hurt enough for a break and I had no trouble moving my arm afterwards so I didn't bother getting it checked out. Bruised like hell though and I still have a hard lump on the bone there a fair few weeks later, so maybe there was a small fracture. The board had been out for a while in the elements so may have started to lose a bit of integrity to the early onset of decay, but it seemed pretty damn solid.   

Anyway, pretty hilariously stupid. 

[Icehaven]

I used to skateboard all the time when I was kid/early teen, so of course when I found one in the garden at a house party I knew I'd easily be able to take it for a spin despite now being in my 20s and it being over a decade since I'd set foot on one. I don't even know what really happened, just that one moment I was putting my second foot on the board, the next I was lying on the ground, the board was 10ft away and everyone was laughing, so I think it just flew out from under me before I'd even tried moving.