Great Aspects Of Shit Movies

[Egyptian Feast]

Chatting with my partner earlier about Top of the Pops repeats and the impending long summer of 1991, we had a good laugh about the movie that spawned Bryan Adams' inescapable sonic bowel movement, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Few would argue, even at the time, that it's a good film. I have good memories of going to see it on a rare all-family trip to the cinema, but my sister later purchased the VHS and it is certainly not a film that warrants multiple revisits. There's something so stultifyingly earnest and dreary about Kevin Costner's early 90s movies that caused them to age like milk in the sun. I loved his previous movie Dances With Wolves, but only a few years later found it completely unbearable on a rewatch. His reimagining of Robin Hood is an objectively worse film, but it has something special his other works lack...

Alan Rickman. His performance as the Sheriff of Nottingham is fantastic. He clearly knows he is appearing in a shit Kevin Costner vehicle, but he gives much more to the role than the film deserves. It's as if he's appearing in a different (and much better) movie to everyone else. He justly hogs every scene he appears in, chews up and splits out lines like "LOCKSLEY I'M GOING TO CUT YOUR HEART OUT WITH A SPOON!" and when he finally gets what's coming to him, takes as long as possible to actually die because he knows you'll immediately miss him. Although he'd already made a big impression in Die Hard, this was likely many younger viewers' first encounter with him and it's still probably my favourite performance of his. He's so much fun and Robin such a drip, the film would be a total loss without him.

Obviously stretching the concept of the thread, but while I'm here, the PG rated UK version also contained a very underrated bit of censorship. When Christian Slater catapults Costner & Freeman over the castle walls, he says "Fuck me, they made it!" in the PG-13 US release, but it sounded like he was saying "Well I'll be me, they made it!" in the British cut and was so badly done I always found it hilarious. I enjoyed imitating it in a Harry Enfield "Only me!" tone at the time because I was and am a twat. Speaking of Slater, the bit where he skulks off after Robin chucks a knife into his hand is mint. He's so shit in this movie it completely erased any residual cred he'd earned from his earlier movies, though in fairness it's not like he had much to work with.

Are there any movies that you think are complete shit, but still have something special going for them such as a great performance, a killer line of dialogue or a completely batshit ending? 

[Gulftastic]

Rumours at the time were that Costner demanded a re-edit to cut down on Rickman's screen time, so blatant was his stealing of the entire film.

[Ignatius_S]

Rumours at the time were that Costner demanded a re-edit to cut down on Rickman's screen time, so blatant was his stealing of the entire film.

There were also reports at the time, that the re-edit was due to preview audiences - IIRC, they quite liked the film but in their scoring, Rickman's Sheriff was easily the facvourite character, but Costner's was at the bottom. There were stories of some screenings where, during the big fight at the end, everyone was booing Robin and cheering for the Sheriff.

[Ron Maels Moustache]

Alan Rickman. His performance as the Sheriff of Nottingham is fantastic. He clearly knows he is appearing in a shit Kevin Costner vehicle, but he gives much more to the role than the film deserves. It's as if he's appearing in a different (and much better) movie to everyone else. He justly hogs every scene he appears in, chews up and splits out lines like "LOCKSLEY I'M GOING TO CUT YOUR HEART OUT WITH A SPOON!" and when he finally gets what's coming to him, takes as long as possible to actually die because he knows you'll immediately miss him. Although he'd already made a big impression in Die Hard, this was likely many younger viewers' first encounter with him and it's still probably my favourite performance of his. He's so much fun and Robin such a drip, the film would be a total loss without him.

Even better, I read that a lot of the Sheriff's lines were re-written by Rickman (with help from his friends Ruby Wax and Peter Barnes) as he hated the script so much. Apparently "And call off Christmas!" was one of his.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/alan-rickman-admits-editing-terrible-script-friends-pizza-hut-behind-backs-writers-robin-hood-prince-thieves-a95481.html

[Egyptian Feast]

Lol, I am not remotely surprised to hear any of this. I wonder if the trimmed Rickman scenes were ever released on DVD?Someone could make a fan edit that the preview audiences would've preferred. #ReleaseTheRickmanCut

[paddy72]

Mister Frost.

A mess of a movie, but Jeff Goldblum is a whole load of creepy fun as Old Scratch.

[Jerzy Bondov]

A couple of years ago this film came out called Last Christmas, written by Emma Thompson and directed by Paul Feig. It's a Christmas set romcom that features the music of Wham!, and it's not very good. But it takes a turn towards the end that's so so so insane you have to respect it. Emilia Clarke is a messy zany girl who works in a mad Christmas shop and wants to be singer or something, but has been spinning her wheels since some sort of unspecified health crisis, which happened the previous Christmas. She meets Henry Golding who is this hunky guy, and he shows her how to appreciate life or whatever. And then it turns out

Spoiler alert

he's dead. And then it turns out that Clarke had a heart transplant, and the heart came from dead Golding.

The twist is a literal interpretation of the lyrics of the song - "Last Christmas I gave you my heart".

I cannot believe that they made an entire film out of one line taken completely out of context. The fucking balls to do that. It's mental. I love it!

[close]

[Shit Good Nose]

One I regularly mention - the soundtrack (as in sound effects and foley, rather than the music score) for Jaws 3 is incredible.  I can only imagine the people doing it thought they were working on something as good as the original.  If you ever get a chance to see it on the big screen with its original dolby mix, do not miss it.

[Billy]

A couple of years ago this film came out called Last Christmas, written by Emma Thompson and directed by Paul Feig. It's a Christmas set romcom that features the music of Wham!, and it's not very good. But it takes a turn towards the end that's so so so insane you have to respect it. Emilia Clarke is a messy zany girl who works in a mad Christmas shop and wants to be singer or something, but has been spinning her wheels since some sort of unspecified health crisis, which happened the previous Christmas. She meets Henry Golding who is this hunky guy, and he shows her how to appreciate life or whatever. And then it turns out

Spoiler alert

he's dead. And then it turns out that Clarke had a heart transplant, and the heart came from dead Golding.

The twist is a literal interpretation of the lyrics of the song - "Last Christmas I gave you my heart".

I cannot believe that they made an entire film out of one line taken completely out of context. The fucking balls to do that. It's mental. I love it!

[close]

Cleverest thing about that was

Spoiler alert

the death date - it's set in Xmas 2017 and the guy died 'last Christmas'. As did a certain singer on Xmas Day 2016...

[close]

Good pick tho, was expecting a shit romcom but that did impress me too.

[Brundle-Fly]

Vanilla Sky (2001) Paul McCartney's beautiful lilting end title track kept me in the auditorium to watch the credits. Some feat after enduring that stinker for 137 minutes.

I think I vaguely remember Beck managed that too with his musical contribution, Deadweight in A Life Less Ordinary (1997), a movie I hated even more than Vanilla Sky.

[Dusty Substance]

Ennio Morriocone's superb score for the terrible* Exorcist II: The Heretic.

* A film I've never actually finished but there's a documentary coming out soon about the film so it might actually be a misunderstood classic which I should perhaps watch all the way through one day.

[Egyptian Feast]

Ennio Morriocone's superb score for the terrible* Exorcist II: The Heretic.

The trailer is fucking incredible. Even though I know what the actual film is like, I always want to give it another watch after seeing that.

[An tSaoi]

The soundtrack to Blues Brothers 2000. The film is dogshit, but you can't fault the tunes.

And, sorry to lower the tone, Eva Green's tits in Sin City 2 and 300: Rise of an Empire.

[Shit Good Nose]

Ennio Morriocone's superb score for the terrible* Exorcist II: The Heretic.

* A film I've never actually finished but there's a documentary coming out soon about the film so it might actually be a misunderstood classic which I should perhaps watch all the way through one day.

It really really isn't in the least bit misunderstood, it's just genuinely terrible.  And, unusually for a 70s film as subsequent generations discover it, its IMDB rating has gone DOWN.

I'm unable to link stuff at the mo, but it's worth watching the vid on YouTube where Friedkin talks light-heartedly about it (and it's a story that has been corroborated by others that were actually in attendance [although he's almost certainly exaggerated some of it of course]) - search william friedkin exorcist 2 and it's the first vid that comes up.

[An tSaoi]

I'm unable to link stuff at the mo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2D4cPXpvHjI

[Shit Good Nose]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2D4cPXpvHjI

Thank you.

[Dusty Substance]

The trailer is fucking incredible. Even though I know what the actual film is like, I always want to give it another watch after seeing that.

Fucking hell! That's one of the best trailers I've ever seen. A masterclass in editing and it seems waaaay ahead of its time. Makes me wonder if they knew they had a right turkey on their hands and decided to make it look as appealing as possible.

[St_Eddie]

It really really isn't in the least bit misunderstood, it's just genuinely terrible.  And, unusually for a 70s film as subsequent generations discover it, its IMDB rating has gone DOWN.

Yep.  It's just an awful film, period (easily within the top 10 worst films I've ever seen - top 3 if we're just talking sequels to iconic films).  I remember listening to a film podcast a couple of years back where the participants were all singing the praises of The Exorcist II and claiming that it was some kind of misunderstood masterpiece and that everyone who hates of the film SiMpLy DoEsN't UnDeRsTaNd It'S gEniUs.  Bunch of hipster morons.  I had to turn it off halfway through listening.

Makes me wonder if they knew they had a right turkey on their hands and decided to make it look as appealing as possible.

Well, I mean, yeah.  That's literally the purpose of a trailer; to make the film look as appealing as possible, regardless of the film's actual quality, in the interest of the studio making a return on their investment.

[Dusty Substance]

I'm unable to link stuff at the mo, but it's worth watching the vid on YouTube where Friedkin talks light-heartedly about it (and it's a story that has been corroborated by others that were actually in attendance [although he's almost certainly exaggerated some of it of course]) - search william friedkin exorcist 2 and it's the first vid that comes up.

That was great! I love when directors openly rag on sequels to their films. Like Richard Donner's commentary for his version of Superman II where he refuses to even say Richard Lester's name.

[Goldentony]

Few would argue, even at the time, that it's a good film

FUCK OFF

[Shit Good Nose]

Yep.  It's just an awful film, period (easily within the top 10 worst films I've ever seen - top 3 if we're just talking sequels to iconic films).  I remember listening to a film podcast a couple of years back where the participants were all singing the praises of The Exorcist II and claiming that it was some kind of misunderstood masterpiece and that everyone who hates of the film SiMpLy DoEsN't UnDeRsTaNd It'S gEniUs.  Bunch of hipster morons.  I had to turn it off halfway through listening.

Much is often made about the fact that Pauline Kael gave The Heretic one of the most positive critic reviews and pretty much said it was better than the original, but anyone who uses that to back up their affirmation that it's an objectively good and misunderstood film completely ignores the fact that she liked John Boorman but didn't like Friedkin and her reviews were ALWAYS subjectively skewed one way or another on that basis, often regardless of the actual quality of the film, and, more importantly, by that time in the 70s she would pair her viewings with getting shit-faced, so if your film was one of the last one or two on the schedule there's a fairly good chance she slept through at least some of it (there are numerous errors and criticisms in several of her reviews from that time that refer to things that didn't even happen in the film she was reviewing).

I get that there are people who enjoy it for its abject stupidity and find it entertaining in the same way that plenty of people enjoy The Room or Shark Attack 3, but I absolutely refuse to believe there's something about it the rest of us are missing.  It's just simply a bad film.

[Famous Mortimer]

That was great! I love when directors openly rag on sequels to their films.

Then you'll love "Xtro Xposed", but Harry Bromley Davenport goes one further and rags on sequels that he made himself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovp-z9O56IE

[Goldentony]

Prince Of Thieves is at least as good as, lets say errrrr, Dracula, it opens with Brian Blessed's corpse in a pissing down rain stuck in a cage then goes on to give us Christian Slater, the beautiful fucker from The Crow and I TOLD YOU WODNEY IM NOT GONNA TELL YOU AGAIN SON I DO THE ONE TWO THREE FOURS

[greenman]

Prince Of Thieves is at least as good as, lets say errrrr, Dracula, it opens with Brian Blessed's corpse in a pissing down rain stuck in a cage then goes on to give us Christian Slater, the beautiful fucker from The Crow and I TOLD YOU WODNEY IM NOT GONNA TELL YOU AGAIN SON I DO THE ONE TWO THREE FOURS

They do feel somewhat similar I spose in that theres a much funnier film seemingly going on behind the backs on the bland lead characters although I think Dracula has a lot more of that kind of thing going for it and does look genuinely great.

[Kermit the Frog]

Exorcist II is fucking great because it's completely bananas in a way that studio films rarely are anymore. Just completely avoids the tone of the original in a way that feels insane bit ultimately it's an Exorcist sequel so who gives a fuck, just crash headfirst into bad taste if that's on the table. It's not as if I'm footing the bill

[famethrowa]

The soundtrack to Blues Brothers 2000. The film is dogshit, but you can't fault the tunes.

True, the film is silly and emasculated, but having all those legends right there on film, that's great in itself. Also fun to hear the theme from Bottom out of nowhere.

[Deliciousbass]

Silent Hill might be a great film

https://youtu.be/T5QznpMp2LA?t=881

smash the skip anytime dialogue lasts more than 10 seconds or if sean bean is onscreen and you'll have a good time, A dabba doo time, You'll have a gay old time  !!!

[El Unicornio, mang]

The Exorcist II trailer is indeed great. Scorsese not only loves the film, but rates it over the first one.

[St_Eddie]

Exorcist II is fucking great because it's completely bananas in a way that studio films rarely are anymore. Just completely avoids the tone of the original in a way that feels insane bit ultimately it's an Exorcist sequel so who gives a fuck, just crash headfirst into bad taste if that's on the table. It's not as if I'm footing the bill

Fair do's.  I'm with Shit Good Nose on this one; there's nowt wrong with ironically enjoying a bad film, so fair play.

[Kermit the Frog]

The Exorcist II trailer is indeed great. Scorsese not only loves the film, but rates it over the first one.

A font of great opinions that lad