The Oscars

[DistantAngel]

It seems that people who haven't read the books seem to dislike LOTR the most. Read the books, then watch the films before infecting everywhere with prejudicial idiocy.

Well put, VM ...

I can understand people not liking the films, fair enough, we all have our own thing, and there is nothing that everyone likes ... but there are certain groups of people who criticise LOTR that need a good slapping:

1. Never read the books - thought the films were shite
I don't think anyone can disagree when I say that the LOTR movies are fantasy at its finest; the camp, kitsch, ludicrous movies that represented the fantasy genre in the past have been well and truly buried by Peter Jackson's trilogy, which approached the subject with reality and seriousness.  I hate to state the obvious but, If you don't like them, then fantasy is clearly not your thing - stop saying they were shite, and go find something else to watch.  If fantasy is your thing, then maybe you like the worryingly limp-wristed fantasy works of the past.  Please return to your worn out VHS of Krull and your Lysette Anthony obsession :)

2. Read the books - thought the films were shite
You're obviously a purist who's still pissed over the exclusion of Tom Bombadil, the Scouring of the Shite, and that one song they sing on page 87.  You think that the books should be translated DIRECTLY to screen, resulting in a 43 hour trilogy that no-one but you will ever watch.  Accept the fact that films and books are two completely different types of media and get over yourself.  If you think the books could have been translated better, finish your adaptation, and then YOU go out and raise $300m to film your epic.

3. Bitter "Star Wars" fans, who hate the trilogy on principle
Now I'm not lumping all SW fans together here, I dearly love the original trilogy myself as it was an important part of my childhood.  However, those who worship the water Lucas digitally cleans up before walking on, need to learn to not follow the bearded-one so blindly.  The new trilogy IS cack; it's badly written, poorly executed toss that is doing untold damage to the credibility of the original trilogy.  Just accept it, and move on.

[elderford]

As a youth Christopher Lee attended the last public guillotining in Paris.

He did recently however, have a big hissy fit saying that if LOTR didn't get recognised at the Oscars he would be handing back his membership of something or other (just the facts ma'm).

It's about time verbwhores clubbed together to re-make "The Devil Rides Out" before Lee pegs it, as he would be more corking than he was in the original and the special effects wouldn't be quite so lame.

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

You sir, are king of irony

*Yawn*

Is that all you do now?

[Frinky]

Yes, it is. Check through my back posts, and you'll see that's exactly all I do. Assuming that was a rhetorical question, and you have your own, assumed answer, then you're being stupid and wrong. And if it's not rhetorical, then, well,  you're still stupid. Just not wrong.

I know it was unrequired, but I'm an awful person. I probably won't do it again, anway, and besides, he knows I sort of, in a very small way, like him.

Anyway...

[jutl]

I havent seen the third LOTR - is Christopher Lee really cut from it or was that just bollocks? He was noticably absent at the oscars.

Yes - he's not in it at all. Jackson's reason was that he was defeated at the end of the 2nd one, that to have him defeated again at thestart of the third would be a bit weird.

I was disappointed by the lack of the Saruman in the Shire scenes from the end of the book - I'm guessing that that's the main Lee-related cut.

I'd also like to take this opportunity to say that the 'Best Original Screenplay' Oscar for Sofia Coppola is the most ill-advised piece of encouragement I've ever heard of. Now she might write something else dreary, shallow and artless, rather than fucking off and leaving me alone.

[Munday's Chylde]

I havent seen the third LOTR - is Christopher Lee really cut from it or was that just bollocks? He was noticably absent at the oscars.

Yes - he's not in it at all. Jackson's reason was that he was defeated at the end of the 2nd one, that to have him defeated again at thestart of the third would be a bit weird.

I was very sceptical, as I'm a big CL fan, but on seeing the film, I think Jackson's right. You don't need him in the third one. I think Lee will be with all the extras when the DVD comes out.

I don't feel satisfied with that at all, I haven't seen it yet so I'll reserve judgement but he wasn't killed at the end of part 2 so I only hope they explain his absence adequately.

[falafel]

Re: LOTR

Am I the only one that loves the films despite thinking that the books were just a load of overindulgent wank?

[king mob]

Re: LOTR

Am I the only one that loves the films despite thinking that the books were just a load of overindulgent wank?

Nope i do as i said up there, the books are toss though.

As for Christopher Lee's bit in ROK its going to be in the extended version DVD due in November, he was well & truely pissed about not being in the cinema release & he does have a point.
The plot line is just brushed over if i remember right & its a bit annoying really.

[bill hicks]

The books are rubbish. I wouldn't have got to the end of the first one at all if I wasn't skiving at work at the time.

The films are very watchable though, although having watched the first one again recently it does seem very slow now. Two Towers will remain a great film nevertheless.

[Still Not George]

That said, there are an awful lot of other things that have just been brushed over as well... If everything plot-related that they missed out is going to be in the extended edition, I look forward to the quadruple DVD set.

Nah, I sort of agree with Jackson on this one. I always felt Tolkien pushed the whole Saruman thing a little too far, although obviously the Scouring was quite funky, so I suppose they needed a baddie to do that. I'm more looking forward to some more Pelennor Fields ass-kicking footage. Less elves running up the sides of elephants, and more desperate street fighting please.

Having finally finished watching the whole damn thing, I've realised something, and it's something my fellow fanboys aren't going to like me for. I think Jackson didn't cut enough. The best bits all the way through are the little bits; the hobbits pissing about, the villagers desperately trying to hold off huge hulking Uruk-hai, the sheer heroism shown by the few Gondorians that see the War Trolls and charge anyway... but this being an epic, it all gets swamped by big nasties and elves running up elephants. I wanted to see more Orc brutality, more frantic, panicked fighting, and less of people setting their sprogs on fire. May the Gods of fantasy forgive me, but I wanted less of Tolkien's interminable chuntering on, and a bit more action, thank you very much.

I dunno, maybe I've been spoilt.

Even with all that, it still deserves every godsdamned honour it gets. Yeah, sensitive emo-drama, brilliant performance from 1 or 2 actors... nice, but we've all seen it before. Screw that. Give me epics. Give me huge armies kicking the salt out of each other. Give me panoramic views of New Zealand (or Australia, Mad Max-stylee : Mel, why did you have to go religious nutcase on us?). I've spent enough time watching films that "make me examine myself inside" (and if that isn't a wonderful analogy I don't know what is).

Oh, and if that Lucas calls, tell him he's been shown up for the cunt he is.

[king mob]

Even with all that, it still deserves every godsdamned honour it gets. Yeah, sensitive emo-drama, brilliant performance from 1 or 2 actors... nice, but we've all seen it before. Screw that. Give me epics. Give me huge armies kicking the salt out of each other. Give me panoramic views of New Zealand (or Australia, Mad Max-stylee : Mel, why did you have to go religious nutcase on us?). I've spent enough time watching films that "make me examine myself inside" (and if that isn't a wonderful analogy I don't know what is).

Gibson has been in negotiation for Mad Max 4 for the better part of 10 years, its plotted, designed & ready to go.
Gibson has been the sticking point as hes been doing this film.

[Still Not George]

But Gibson's, what, 70 now? What's it going to be? Mad Max Beyond The Wheelchair? Where Max wanders the Aussie desert in an enormous solar-powered Shopmobility scooter and complains about the quality of biker gangs these days.

[king mob]

But Gibson's, what, 70 now? What's it going to be? Mad Max Beyond The Wheelchair? Where Max wanders the Aussie desert in an enormous solar-powered Shopmobility scooter and complains about the quality of biker gangs these days.

Its going to be a Aussie version of Lone Wolf & Cub with Max as Lone Wolf & the Feral Kid from MM2 as cub apparently.

[butnut]

I don't feel satisfied with that at all, I haven't seen it yet so I'll reserve judgement but he wasn't killed at the end of part 2 so I only hope they explain his absence adequately.

No, they all just seem to assume he's dead, by wandering around in the water surrounding his tower.

On reflection, I now think the studios forced this on Jackson, to leave room for a sequel, where Christopher Lee returns to reek his terrible revenge.

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

Yes, it is. Check through my back posts, and you'll see that's exactly all I do. Assuming that was a rhetorical question, and you have your own, assumed answer, then you're being stupid and wrong. And if it's not rhetorical, then, well,  you're still stupid. Just not wrong.

I know it was unrequired, but I'm an awful person. I probably won't do it again, anway, and besides, he knows I sort of, in a very small way, like him.

Anyway...

I'll be pedantic and say I was referring to your replies about stuff I've wrote, which in the recent past seem to all be derogatory, which deeply infuriated me, especially considering you've been my confident, colleague, and lover.

[Still Not George]

Yes, yes, that's all very well and good, but we're missing the important thing here:

Just how big are Angelina Jolie's lips getting? The woman's now 98% blowjob mouth and only 2% organs, bones etc. Surely soon there'll be none of her left?

[king mob]

Yes, yes, that's all very well and good, but we're missing the important thing here:

Just how big are Angelina Jolie's lips getting? The woman's now 98% blowjob mouth and only 2% organs, bones etc. Surely soon there'll be none of her left?

And the problem with that is?

[gazzyk1ns]

I watched this last night (this morning) too. The Oscars was just... what it normally is, wasn't it. I try to look at it in perspective though, Mundays was saying how much they all made of it but hey, you just sat down to watch a film awards ceremony.

As for the BBC... couldn't they get people better than bloody McGowan and his tag-along tits to comment on what is supposed to be the biggest film awards ceremony of the year? You expect one token celeb there to balance it out, but surely they could have got Kermode or even just a Kermode-type wannabe there, who actually knew his stuff, to make for some semi-interesting exchanges with Ross? What a shambles.

There was a moment which made me laugh, some 50-year old actress/director/producer was making her acceptance speech, and said "I would like to thank my mum..." At precisely the same time that the director decided to do one of his generic star shots in the crowd - specifically, on Catherine Zeta Jones.

[12 Storey Crisis]

You expect one token celeb there to balance it out, but surely they could have got Kermode or even just a Kermode-type wannabe there, who actually knew his stuff, to make for some semi-interesting exchanges with Ross? What a shambles.

To be fair, I think that was just the kind of luvvie-fest Kermode usually avoids. Also, why was no one pointing out what arm-pit infamingly irritating cunts the pre-show presenters were. That bloke, whatever the fuck his name was, he arranges an entirely extemporised "meeting" between Johnny Depp and that wee Kiwi actress - and what did he think was gonna happen? That they'd fucking spontaneously elope a al Bill Wyman and Mandy Moore? In the end, Depp just awkwardly stood there saying "Pleased to meet you, you're great" for about a fortnight, whilst the young girl threw dagger eyes at the presenter. His reponse was pretty good though: "You're gonna kill me, aren't you? [Huge smirk to camera] Anyway, back to Bill!"


Also, at another point, he basically just interrupted a conversation Sofia Copola was having with somebody, entirely unannounced. And he just asks her the most stupid, banal questions: "Sofia Coppola, this is great isn't it?" Coppola: "Yes."

On the positive side, some of Billy Crystal's gags were really good: "Sofia Coppola shot Lost In Translation in 27 days. That's how long it took Francis to get Brando out of bed."

[jutl]

Also, at another point, he basically just interrupted a conversation Sofia Copola was having with somebody, entirely unannounced. And he just asks her the most stupid, banal questions: "Sofia Coppola, this is great isn't it?" Coppola: "Yes."

Good. He should have interrupted her conversation by driving over her on a sit-down lawnmower.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Without doubt the most predictable Oscars yet. I even managed to get all the documentary/foreign ones right, based purely on them having titles like 'Two Children in Radiation Land', which leads me to suspect that the judges don't actually watch them.
Still, LOTR deserved to get all the awards. not really my cup of tea, but for what they are they're fantastic.
I noticed when Sean Penn got his standing ovation that Francis Ford Coppolla was shown not standing or clapping. I only later realised that this is because his nephew (Nicholas Cage) has been having a long-running feud with Penn.
Most disturbing thing for me was the usually gorgeous Charlize Theron looking like she was dipped in Ronseal Woodstain before the awards, and that her boyfriend decided to share what was left in the tin...

[12 Storey Crisis]

Good post Unicorn, very funny. Actually, Theron's boyfriend is Stuart Townsend, from Dublin...go on the Irish!

[wasp_f15ting]

Who the fuck where those two girls hovering around the guests? Some kind of frame fillers?

Its a damn travesty that city of god did not get the award... I cant believe lispy cunt ross said it looked like a barcardi video stupid cunt. I havent seen mystic river yet, but those scenes I have seen look very explosive. The most boring and dull looking ceremony I have seen so far.. no bloody interesting things at all, and then those twunty folk songs in the middle. I shouldnt have stayed up watching it...

I hadn't heard of a few films nominated, I will now..

[Still Not George]

The intro was quite funky though...

"This is a fictitious film about a fictitious king and a fictitious war with fictitious elephants and... *squish*"

[12 Storey Crisis]

I actually think City Of God was slightly over-rated. I mean, I thought it was good, but I also can't help thinking that if had have been set in New York it would just have been dismissed as an inferior retread of Goodfellas.

Jesus, finding myself sharing the same opinion with Jonathan Ross, I feel like I need a bath.

[El Unicornio, mang]

I had a dream last night that I saw City of God, and it was a documentary about Gary Crowley


going undercover to meet all the dodgy street gangs that are in the film, and he kept getting beaten up and stuff. Don't know why I felt the need to share that....

Anyway, I fancy seeing it, looks right up my alley. My wife's parents, who are strict Southern Baptists, went to see it, presumably thinking it was a Christian film, and said it was "depressing" :-)

[weirdbeard]

There was a great bit when two blokes got an Oscar for Best Short Film or something like that.   The two of them both went on stage holding bits of paper, obviously with names of people they wanted to thank.  One of them then took it on himself to totally take up the allocated acceptance time blabbering on, while the other chap just stood in the background hoping to get a look in.  Then the music played to shoo them off and the chap who didb't get his chance to make his acceptance speech gave the other bloke such a dirty look.   That'll be the end of their working partnership.

[falafel]

There was a great bit when two blokes got an Oscar for Best Short Film or something like that.   The two of them both went on stage holding bits of paper, obviously with names of people they wanted to thank.  One of them then took it on himself to totally take up the allocated acceptance time blabbering on, while the other chap just stood in the background hoping to get a look in.  Then the music played to shoo them off and the chap who didb't get his chance to make his acceptance speech gave the other bloke such a dirty look.   That'll be the end of their working partnership.

I noticed that too. The poor sod was just stood there in the backgound holding up this piece of A4 and looking really expectant.

I also noticed a mildly amusing comment from Sandra Bullock when that wanker was wandering around the auditorium dragging qoutes out of people:

Presenter: "Hello... Sandra Bullock... I'm sorry, have I interrupted you?" (said as he physically pulls her away from a conversation she's having with someone two rows in front of her)
Bullock: "Yes. But that's what you do."

All the old guys got lost in their heads for hours at a time, reciting tales from their ancient youth whilst everyone else looked on getting desperately bored; Sofia Coppola has huge teeth and is disappointingly uncharismatic; Belleville Rendez-Vous should have got Best Animation; Ronni Ancona has all the wit of a dessicated dog's testicle (and a milky-white left breast, half of which was poking uninticingly from her dress); and I can't believe I watched the whole damned debacle yet again.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Sofia Coppola has huge teeth and is disappointingly uncharismatic; .

Aw, I like Sofia Coppola. I just think she's really shy, not surprising considering the amount of people posting messages on imdb.com saying "sofia Copppala is FUGLY!!1 Look at herr big nose YUK!!1 Anyon else agrees?!!2??lol!!1"

[terminallyrelaxed]

Yeah its become very fashionable to give her a hard time. I still think Lost In Translation is a fantastic film, and thought Murray would have deserved it, although I haven't seen Mystic River yet. Should be good though, the book (by Dennis Lehane) is superb, and I think Eastwood's a pretty good director.
Haven't seen ROTK yet either, now I have to find a cinema still showing it - shouldnt be hard though..[/i]