The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW: HAHALLOWEEN III: Shriekin’ of the Witch

[Echo Valley 2-6809]

Someone came into my girlfriend's charity shop

CUCKED

Ridiculously childish.

[imitationleather]

I'm fuming.

[Theremin]

Cum to Grandad

[SpiderChrist]

I'd rather be eaten out by Sam Allardyce.

[touchingcloth]

Cum for Grandad

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

cum for granted

[Echo Valley 2-6809]

Dunn for Grandad

[Theremin]

Cum 4: Grandad!

[touchingcloth]

Cum? Four grand, dad.

[Kankurette]

are ya READY kids?

I cant HEAR you!

OhhhhhKAY!

Whoooooo
lives in a banana out in the Fens?
GRAHAMBOBS CUMPANTS
Bigoted arsehole obsessed with your glans
GRAHAMBOBS CUMPANTS
A cunt gone bananas is something to mock
GRAHAMBOBS CUMPANTS
So jump on to Twitter and make fun of his sock!

GRAHAMBOBS CUMPANTS
GRAHAMBOBS CUMPANTS
GRAHAMBOBS CUMPANTS

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

I've never seen Spongebob, but my then-wife had. One day I made a face that she thought looked like Spongebob, so I was nicknamed 'Sponge' which quickly changed to Punge, and that was how I referred to during the rest of our marriage, even the ugly bits towards the end.

[JamesTC]

Got my pre-order in already!

I'm so proud that I inspired this work of art.

[buttgammon]

Speaking of Gary Glinner:

It's no Ronnie Hazlehurst...
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1le348agWrzljW8YQwUarrlHT4K_RimjD/view

[itsfredtitmus]

If you have to check the temperature of food with a thermometer you should probably kill yourself.

[Bad Ambassador]

"If you kids are good I'll take you for a frozen sasquatch."

[Paul Calf]

with her failure to stand for M4A

I hear she got a lot of FLAC for that.

I love a good digital media format joke.

[Glennhoddleishavingagoal]

Hello new people, a common mistake new people make is forgetting to quote all of my posts in the Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW thread

My sides will never be the same again

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

I had a friend who went to see a performance of Murray Gold's Doctor Who score performed by the BBC National Orchestra of Wales and apparently when they began playing, it was so soul-shatteringly bombastic the Royal Albert Hall collapsed in on itself and killed everyone in the building. They only managed a single diddly-dum.

[Glebe]

[buttgammon]

[SpiderChrist]

Yep, it's embarrassing doggerel. If he wanted to drum up some cash for mentals (a worthy cause) he should have put himself in the stocks so comedy fans can boot him up the cunt for being an establishment disappointment.

Specifically the bit in bold.

[Dex Sawash]

From the cigar thread

Not a nice taste and that soggy end, nah.

The Starr Report, 1998

[Lordofthefiles]

Yes, I've been very rude...

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Non-stick micro shit in your kids' veins, Covid from your uncle's pressure cooker.  Asda AIDS range chip fryer next to anthrax kettle. The whole kitchen's farting uranium, there's smallpox in the fucking bread bin. DING DONG Ocado again, septicemic grot box on the raccoon skin door mat, DING DONG mate have a load of trematodes in your face. Milkman's putting plague piss in your bottles and there's FUCK ALL Mark Ruffalo's gonna do about it. Mother-in-law's in the pantry, shagging the pubic louse. It's all gone to SHIT.

[AllisonSays]

I wonder if I've been unfair to John Richardson. The first time I saw him I thought he looked damp and musty. I've never been able to shake the idea that he smells like a cupboard full of old newspapers. That's really unfair probably. I don't want to speak ill of the waterlogged, for perhaps he has always been ill, but to see him in his prop jacket made of carpet samples and his Romantic laurels of hair clippings from the barbers tiles, doing his joke about the washing up. An instant swipe left, readers! I've always felt bad for him the same as I feel sad looking at fish in a tank at the market all pale and wheezing, bleakly looking up hoping for adoption. Ah well he's got wife now so I'm sure he's safe from the fishmonger's dull cleaver.

[imitationleather]

[ProvanFan]

I always get this being big, tall and bald, to the point where it stops me even going to stand up shows anymore. 'OK Shrek', the same bollocks every time.

Not cool but I proper guffawed

[Kankurette]

I know the DX7 has it's uses but I only recently learned about these and was pissing myself laughing, here's fuckin' EIGHT OF EM a ONCE want CHIMES do you son? HAVE EIGHT DIFFERENT CHIMES AT ONCE

[SpiderChrist]

A pose that a hobbit might do if they were singled out at a stand up night.

[Sebastian Cobb]