Racecar Bed Here I Come (Separation Thread)

[Epic Bisto]

I have managed to single-handedly destroy a 6 year marriage and an 9 year family by being a selfish Aspie moron (no affair, no violence, no addiction, no dodgy stuff).  My mental health has nosedived pretty badly over the last year or so and it has culminated in my wife demanding a separation.  We rent and we don't want to make this messy for the sake of our child, but I've been flipping between confidently looking for a flat (no house shares thank you) and spontaneously crying in despair.  She's really helped me out a lot over the years and I love our kid so much.  I want to radically change myself (change jobs, change diet, exercise, get back into playing music and writing again as I have been an unenthusiastic void for a long damn time) but then I hold on to a glimmer of hope that we can iron it all out, although that's been ruled out.  The local Mental Health group are worried about me and I have booked some private counselling due to lack of faith in the 6-week CBT courses I have done in the past - by paying for it will hopefully make me more proactive in wanting to change things.

While I'm scouring Gumtree for a racecar bed, a kettle in the shape of a cock and posters of Jeremy Beadle rasta'd up and smoking a flat blunt, I was wondering if any other CaBbers have any advice or stories to help me through this.  This shit is tough.

[Butchers Blind]

Get on the amphetamines ASAP.

[Key]

I have no real practical advice Bisto, but I am a couple of months ahead of you after my long term relationship broke down in May and all I can really say is the usual cliches. It does get slightly less brain meltingly intense if you do exercise/healthy eating/mindfulness. It does dial down the psychic despair a couple of percentage points, but thats all I got.

Its also been helpful browsing some of the stories on r/breakups, knowing that, while I may have made an arse of myself, I didn't arse it up as bad as some of those fools.

[Buelligan]

I'd say try not to hurt anyone or yourself.  Let resentments roll away and die.  Try to part with as much kindness, love and respect as you can possibly muster, it will be easier on all of you that way.  Really sorry for your pain.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Unlucky Epic. Nothing to add really but it sounds from the post you have a fairly solid plan of what you need to do.

[The Mollusk]

Get on the ROIDS ASAP.

[Epic Bisto]

Thanks for the support folks.  Just told our kid and she has taken it well.  Me and my wife have agreed to keep this positive, no sniping or anything.  If I didn't have a fuckload of Venlafaxine and Propanolol in my system, I don't know how I would be able to take this.

[pancreas]

GET ON THE PCP RIGHT NOW

[jamiefairlie]

Thanks for the support folks.  Just told our kid and she has taken it well.  Me and my wife have agreed to keep this positive, no sniping or anything.  If I didn't have a fuckload of Venlafaxine and Propanolol in my system, I don't know how I would be able to take this.

Keep it positive, you don't need any more complications than necessary, be your best self do you can look back and say you did your best, and just ride the waves, let your emotions come, cry when you need to, pull the covers over your head when you need to. It does get easier, much easier.

[Johnny Yesno]

What I find upsetting about this is that you didn't use [split topic] in the thread title. I mean, I know a terrible thing has happened but we do have standards round here and we can't be missing a good pun.

[Johnny Yesno]

Seriously, though, I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Stay strong.

[Dex Sawash]

What I find upsetting about this is that you didn't use [split topic] in the thread title. I mean, I know a terrible thing has happened but we do have standards round here and we can't be missing a good pun.

But there is humo(u)r in the subversion of our expectations too

[Small Man Big Horse]

Really sorry to hear this, it's always a difficult and shitty period to get through. All I'd suggest is perhaps a little obvious (eg avoid alcohol for a bit, other non-prescribed drugs) and do your best to distract your brain, when I split up from the Danish Mrs SMBH my brain tried to make me think about her all the time (and still does, for that matter) but watching un-romantic films and tv definitely helped.

[evilcommiedictator]

Try not to blame her, she's doing the right thing for her at the moment, and particularly don't do it in front of the kid, no matter how tempting it might be

[Twit 2]

HAVE KETAMINE, BACON SARNIES AND RED WINE FOR BREAKFAST, START TOMORROW

[Epic Bisto]

What I find upsetting about this is that you didn't use [split topic] in the thread title. I mean, I know a terrible thing has happened but we do have standards round here and we can't be missing a good pun.

Ah bollocks! 

[Epic Bisto]

HAVE KETAMINE, BACON SARNIES AND RED WINE FOR BREAKFAST, START TOMORROW

Being a veggie means the second part is out, and I've managed to score some Yellow Bentines so I'll be alright for now - totes not gonna jessop jessop jessop jessop jessop mate.