Celebrity encounters

[madhair60]

Talked to Stewart Lee about Viz then on another occasion was told by Stewart Lee to fuck off. Noel Edmonds made me cry once but he made up for it, good lad

[earl_sleek]

I was pegged by HRH Princess Anne in Millbrook West car park on the A22. She was resplendent.

[Utter Shit]

I once saw Super Hans at Alexandra Palace Farmers' Market.

Oh that reminds me - he used to live near me in Brighton, I saw him so often that it stopped being notable. It struck me that he must have quite an odd kind of celebrity...famous, arguably even iconic, to a small section of people but unknown to most. Like a cult band, but on a larger scale I guess.

Also saw Steve Coogan a couple of times at Brighton station. He always seemed to be in a rush. I'd have loved to speak to him and tell him how much I love his work, but having seen him put up with so many equally big fans at a book signing (including one gimp that ripped open his shirt to show a Ged Maxwell-style tattoo drawn in pen) I thought it better to just leave him be.

Actually I just remembered, just last week I spent five minutes or so browsing the children's toys section of Tesco next to Brighton captain Lewis Dunk. Another one who wouldn't be recognisable to most people, but is a real legend in Sussex. Very tall. It was quite funny carrying on shopping after he'd gone and seeing so many people that were clearly trying to track him down.

[Bad Ambassador]

Saw Bill Nighy getting into a cab in Fitzrovia.

Cycled past Matthew Fox and William Hurt having a late-night drink outside a bar in Covent Garden.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

Not me but my other half Voltana (Woman of Steel) once did the washing up with Simon Le Bon.

[turnstyle]

Back in the days of working in an office (remember that, and space hoppers, eh, what wereallthatabout???), I used to regularly see David Mitchell strolling through Regents Park with purpose. He always looked like a man who absolutely did not want to be recognised. I respected those wishes as I am a man of honour (and a coward).

Once saw Dale Winton buying a sandwich in a Tesco Express. Though I noticed he didn't opt for the meal deal. Telly work clearly pays well. He could have had crisps and a pop for just a few pence more!!

[PlanktonSideburns]

What did you say to Delilah Smith

[Ed Sholda-Sneezuntows]

I had a Saturday job in Sainsbury's in the mid 80s. Benny Hill would come in most weeks, but the manager had warned us not to bother him, adding that he was a miserable old bastard. Benny's arrival in store and progress through the aisles was signaled by more and more of the staff, mostly students, humming the 'chased round the park by some nurses' music at half speed.
We found it hilarious. He didn't.

[Gurke and Hare]

Once saw Dale Winton buying a sandwich in a Tesco Express. Though I noticed he didn't opt for the meal deal. Telly work clearly pays well. He could have had crisps and a pop for just a few pence more!!

I once saw him looking uncomfortable with the crowds outside Old Trafford before Manchester United v Blackburn, around the time that there were rumours of him being in a relationship with [name of contemporary Blackburn manager removed on legal advice].

[Bigfella]

I met Cerys Matthews after a solo gig in 2006 and managed to not make a twat of myself, despite her being responsible for my bisexual awakening. Her keyboard player gave us crisps. She's very small. I think someone else on here met her and said she was rude and drunk but she was nice when I met her, she signed my ticket even though she had her baby son with her.

Also Tommy Scott from Space is lovely, though he acts like a hyperactive toddler when he's pissed. And I was rude about Prince Philip's hat when I was little. He gave me the evils.

Guy I know and his mate at a festival in France. After drinking for 36 hours they were in and out the jail, lost their shoes and their socks were caked in dogshite.  They walked up to Cerys being interviewed by the Bravo channel and thrust their shitty socks towards her.  Not broadcast, I hope.

[monkfromhavana]

Roger Cook throwing us in our car a dirty look as he emerged from a pub as the barman (the brother of my mate in the driver's seat of the car) informed him that food service was finished. Roger Cook asked for a sandwich. My mate's brother declined that as well.

Exchanged a few words with Bill Drummond last week. He looked at me askance when I looked like I was walking off with his book I had just bought but I'd forgotten to give him the tenner.

I used to teach a Polish footballer's girlfriend.

My mate's ex-wife was on an episode of "Faking It". She wasn't the faker but the experts thought that she was.

Waved like a mad bastard at Peter Ndlovu when he pulled up next to us at the lights.

Lead singer of Electric 6 / rave legend Luna-C at events.

I went to school with Pete Doherty (apparently) but have no recollection of him whatsoever.

[Brundle-Fly]

And finally, Esther, boss-eyed baboon, Cyril Fletcher from That's Life opened a fete at my primary school in 1976. I stood near him when he recited an ode about my school.

[Jerzy Bondov]

Saw Theo Paphitis holding court at a table in Westfield Marks and Spencer cafe

[Auntie Beryl]

Was once in the same pub in Kensal Rise as Billie Piper breastfeeding her then-baby. Then-husband L Fox was also present. I took care not to gawp at either tit.

I sold a CD of Joni Mitchell's Blue to Martin Gore out of Depeche Mode, who had a Coutts & Co bank card. As this was in an 1990s indie record shop I pretended not to know who he was, he came back a few times after that as he lived locally.

[The Crumb]

Alan Davies and friends came into my local snooker club one evening and were shouty and annoying.

Michael Caine was a miserable cunt when my friend asked for a photo. It seemed a bit more rich given it was next to a public filming area for something he was in, with one of those 'by being in this area we own your image for all eternity' notices.

Heston Blumenthal was a bit in front of me at the immigration queue returning to Gatwick. Chickened out of asking him to sign the chorizo I'd brought back from Spain.

[seepage]

If we're including just spots as well as interactions:

Spotted Nish Kumar having a browse in And Other Stories - rock n roll!

Stood with my back to Heston Blumenthal in the Marquis [I think] pub while he chatted to a group of young people. Sounded like he was interviewing them for something.

At John Martyn gigs, a friend always used to try to get a table in the bar close to where John was sat e.g. the Shaw Theatre.     

[robhug]

As a student in 90's Cardiff, I used to regularly pass Flying Pickets megastar Brian Hibbard on and around Albany Road, often enough to literally be on nodding terms with the great man.

Dead now.

[Fr.Bigley]

Met Matt Allwright once in Dudley High Street, I'd just finished work and I'd bumped into his mates and he was either angry or annoyed that I'd interrupted his party so started chasing me shouting things like " lives irreparably damaged" and "her life savings gone" etc. I never found out what he was on about, I just assumed he was going through a messy time in his life.

I remember the dates really well because it was the same time I  was done for VAT fraud. 

[Gurke and Hare]

I served both Gary and Phil Neville in the betting shop I worked in. They were betting on football too, but it was before the days when that wasn't allowed. They weren't backing United's opponents anyway, just lower league stuff they had no influence on.

[Pancake]

'Met' loads of people while working at HMV, including a little lad you might have heard of called CHRIS MORRIS

[Pancake]

Although I'm assuming by meet you mean having a brief rapport with in an unexpected environment, precluding things like signing sessions and serving people in shops

[Pancake]

Saw the singer off The Wombats on hackney road and resisted the urge to shove him

[Chollis]

Stood behind Jamie Carragher in Lime Street M&S queue

thats all i got

[holdover]

Peaches out of Peaches once ricocheted her face off my crotch at a the Bongo Club in Edinburgh. I was dancing near her when she wrapped her legs round a friend of hers and was being spun round. She was quite apologetic.

[Jockice]

She was a diva because her husband told her to be.  https://streamable.com/s9ixmx

As my paper once called him, Bobbly Willis.

[Jockice]

Was once in the same pub in Kensal Rise as Billie Piper breastfeeding her then-baby. Then-husband L Fox was also present. I took care not to gawp at either tit..

If we're talking really tenuous, I know someone who used to babysit Billie Piper. He was friends with her parents in Swindon.

[studpuppet]

My celeb encounters as follows:

1. Aged about 12 my family was invited to Christmas drinks at our neighbours, and the husband's brother was Keith Field, the guitar player from 'I've Got A Handful Of Songs To Sing You'. Considering how old I was, that was big...

2. Aged 19 I had my Visa Electron card refused at Vinyl Experience in Camden by Stevie Mack from That Petrol Emotion[nb]Still not sure why he was serving behind the counter as TPE were pretty big (at least in indie circles).[/nb], with the immortal words, "No dice..."

2. Worked at Hatchards Bookshop in Piccadilly, and had quite a few but the two that stick out were Bowie[nb]He'd come to a Robertson Davies book signing, and waited in the armchair in my department until the queue died down, before going over like a regular punter and having a talk with the author under the pretence of getting his book signed.[/nb], and the Duchess Of Kent.[nb]She paid by cheque, and after she gone I discovered she'd left her solid gold fountain pen on the counter - there was a split-second's temptation...[/nb]

3. Worked in Blackwell's Bookshop on Charing Cross Road, and had diverse encounters with Michael Foot (glasses covered in food remnants) and David Irving (constantly came in trying to get unsuspecting new members of staff to take his books into stock). But my favourite was the actress that plays the partner in the Prudential ad with Mark Williams ("We wanna be together!"), who came in to ask whether we had a children's book about a mole who 'gets pooed[nb]She may have said 'shat'.[/nb] on'. In a bookseller's dream move, I reached under the counter and pulled out the exact book she was looking for.

4. I now work in publishing where I've glad-handed people like Usain Bolt and 'Dave' Attenborough, but my highlight was going to the London premiere of the third Lord Of The Rings film. The star presence was so low-wattage by that film that I walked in with Ally McCoist, but at the after-party I had a conversation with Philip Sallon, who was wearing a toga and laurel wreath on his head.

[badaids]

I saw Noel Gallagher in the M&S in Amersham once buying one of the posh turkey and cranberry sandwiches, the one with THREE triangle sandwiches in.

[studpuppet]

I saw Noel Gallagher in the M&S in Amersham once buying one of the posh turkey and cranberry sandwiches, the one with THREE triangle sandwiches in.

Imagine - the other halves of those three sandwiches will have gone into a different pack and been eaten by a mere mortal...

[Echo Valley 2-6809]

But my favourite was the actress that plays the partner in the Prudential ad with Mark Williams ("We wanna be together!"), who came in to ask whether we had a children's book about a mole who 'gets pooed[nb]She may have said 'shat'.[/nb] on'. In a bookseller's dream move, I reached under the counter and pulled out the exact book she was looking for.

Now a literary agent and married in real life to... I've just thought, you're probably joking, aren't you?