How best to throw money at mental health problems

[markburgle]

My brother and his family came to visit the other day. Ironically I would've graded that day a solid 6.5 on my own personal scale of mood but the next day he sent a message asking if I'm alright. He's had inklings before of my depression, but like most people in this position I keep the real magnitude of it to myself.

Anyway, long story short he wants to help. I've done all the obvious shit already - pills, exercise, meditation, therapy, diet - none of which made any difference. But he does earn a fair bit more than me which raises the possibility of doing therapy again, but better.

I've been to 3 different therapists for roughly a year each, average price around £35 a session. What do people in the know think? Is there more effective help available to those with more money? I'm pretty skeptical (I'm just imagining more of the same dead-end conversations but in nicer chairs) but since help has been offered I don't want to dismiss it out of hand.

[Pink Gregory]

If it's being offered no strings attached maybe you could get the opportunity to find a therapist you find effective?

I know what it's like to be skeptical, counselling and CBT never worked for me (thought it helped me identify how much I couldn't continue in the workplace I was in); but every talking therapy practitioner is going to have a different approach, so maybe there might be one for you?

[TrenterPercenter]

Why do you think your therapy sessions didn't work before? and ultimately (and you might not want to answer this on a public forum) what do you think is the basis of your depression ("I don't know" is still an answer)?.

These are two good questions to have thought about and have answers to if you are trying to think on what to do next.

[Janie Jones]

I've been to 3 different therapists for roughly a year each, average price around £35 a session. What do people in the know think? Is there more effective help available to those with more money?

Yes there is. For £35 you'll get a counsellor who's got some sort of accreditation but if you want a fully qualified psychotherapist who can offer you proper psychodynamic therapy, you will be paying closer to £100 a session [although some will offer reduced rates in special circumstances]. You'd need to have a preliminary chat to see if you could benefit from that sort of therapy.

[chveik]

cocaine

[Tony Tony Tony]

Failing cocaine you could always try hookers, or better still both?

[Butchers Blind]

Has anyone mentioned about amphetamines and getting on them ASAP?

[Mister Six]

If it's being offered no strings attached maybe you could get the opportunity to find a therapist you find effective?

I know what it's like to be skeptical, counselling and CBT never worked for me (thought it helped me identify how much I couldn't continue in the workplace I was in); but every talking therapy practitioner is going to have a different approach, so maybe there might be one for you?

Aye, this. Shop about and find someone you're comfortable with and who seems to be on the right wavelength. Obviously that's not something you can figure out immediately, but it's absolutely fine to end appointments if you don't feel like their methods are working for you.

And yeah, more money should let you buy more experience and possibly better qualifications.

Good on you for pursuing this, BTW.

[Fr.Bigley]

A big box of standard fireworks.

[jamiefairlie]

I'd be tempted to skirt around counselling and see if there's a biochemical cause. There's really good testing for hormones and Neurotransmitters now that will indicate problems in brain chemistry.

[Paul Calf]

Don't spend the money on naan breads.

[ZoyzaSorris]

I'd be tempted to skirt around counselling and see if there's a biochemical cause. There's really good testing for hormones and Neurotransmitters now that will indicate problems in brain chemistry.

Can you elaborate on this? Would love it if someone could just tell me 'this is why you are fucked'

[Zetetic]

Test comes back as

Spoiler alert

human :(

[close]

.

[Paul Calf]

Test comes back as

Spoiler alert

human :(

[close]

.

WE MUST FIX THIS BROKEN MACHINE.

[Zetetic]

If for no other reason than to round out the suggestions - stop trying to find something wrong with you for a bit, and see if your brother will pay to change your situation/context for a bit instead.

That could be going on holiday somewhere (did you like your brother coming to visit? could you go with him?), it could be doing some sort of activity or course unrelated to idea of fixing you, or it could be moving house or town if that's something you'd actually want.

Wanting and doing any of these things will, presumably, be somewhat difficult for you[nb]even if a more expensive quack correctly chances upon the problem with your sublimated desires or vitamin levels[/nb] but there's not really any getting away from that.

[markburgle]

Thanks for all the replies, they're very useful (but seriously, cocaine? Way ahead of you pal). Zetetic, he did suggest those kinds of things, but I've lived in loads of different places and it never changes anything. On holidays I either have a depression-flavoured shit time, or I have a great time and then coming back is depressing af. At best it's a short term distraction. I've thrown myself into various activities over the years too, bottom line is this follows me everywhere I go.

I was low-key dreading my brothers visit, like I do any situation that'll require me to put a brave face on around civilians for a solid 6-8 hours (not that I never enjoy such occasions, it's just you never know what your brain will be up to that day, how much of an act you'll be required to put on).

Biochemically, I've tried 4 different anti-depressants. Last therapist said he wasn't surprised they never worked as he thought my problems were situational (only his opinion of course). I would also be interested to hear more about these hormone/neurotransmitter tests

[Butchers Blind]

Take the brothers money and go on a nice holiday. Plenty of green light countries to visit and the break will help with the mental health side. Make sure he hands over enough to pay for a 5* hotel with a decent pool and covering drinks and stuff.

[TrenterPercenter]

Thanks for all the replies, they're very useful (but seriously, cocaine? Way ahead of you pal). Zetetic, he did suggest those kinds of things, but I've lived in loads of different places and it never changes anything. On holidays I either have a depression-flavoured shit time, or I have a great time and then coming back is depressing af. At best it's a short term distraction. I've thrown myself into various activities over the years too, bottom line is this follows me everywhere I go.

I was low-key dreading my brothers visit, like I do any situation that'll require me to put a brave face on around civilians for a solid 6-8 hours (not that I never enjoy such occasions, it's just you never know what your brain will be up to that day, how much of an act you'll be required to put on).

Biochemically, I've tried 4 different anti-depressants. Last therapist said he wasn't surprised they never worked as he thought my problems were situational (only his opinion of course). I would also be interested to hear more about these hormone/neurotransmitter tests

So I suggested those questions upthread because it is important to try and find out what therapy can do for you and where to target your efforts.  You've described somethings here that are, and I hasten to add from a far and not in any professional capacity, that these might be more anxiety based (depression and anxiety are nearly always bed fellows it's just people don't recognise anxiety when it isn't making them sweat and their heart rate increase), which is bleeding into stimulating (sorry jargony but important as I don't just want to say exciting super fun happy times! but exciting oh my good they are coming round and I'll have to make small talk and pretend to be a normal human times!) situations; this may well be putting you off kilter and your recovery to baseline (feeling fine) is taking an excessively long time.  This is very much what your therapist was saying in regards to situational; it's reactive with a tail off.

None of this is dependant on where your are or what you are doing - mental health services exist in Honolulu.  This about how you interpret, pre-interpret and react to situations - a good psychotherapist would likely help here.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Take the brothers money and go on a nice holiday. Plenty of green light countries to visit and the break will help with the mental health side. Make sure he hands over enough to pay for a 5* hotel with a decent pool and covering drinks and stuff.

Careful, mate. Dread of coming back, mate. Careful.

[Vinnie01]

Thanks for all the replies, they're very useful (but seriously, cocaine? Way ahead of you pal). Zetetic, he did suggest those kinds of things, but I've lived in loads of different places and it never changes anything.

Moving to another location, this will follow you as I found out. Distractions are short term and still will come back particurly if you are dealing with PTSD. You need a decent therapist who understands these sort of situation or a supportive CPN.
Also writing it down in to a document will help too.

I been seeing a CPN since May this year due to severe low mood affected by a flashback, the CPN described my condition that I told her as depression. A friend described it as PTSD due to her similarities.

The CPN actually visits my home with peer support workers that she provided after anxiety caused me not to eat for 4 days. As they were getting me to eat again. They all are actually keeping a check on me now.

[Dr Rock]

Biochemically, I've tried 4 different anti-depressants.

Which ones? I'm on Duloxetine which is an anti-depressant that also helps with chronic nerve pain, which is somewhat effective, and I think the anti-depressant effect is probably helping my moods somewhat.

Hnm, just realised I was originally on Fluoxetine (which I now know is Prozac, but I didn't realise that until the other day), which I'd researched and asked for, at some point my prescription has changed to Duloxetine. Can't say I've noticed a difference, maybe Fluoxetine was better. Quick research suggests they are very similar, wonder why it was switched.

I would quite like some kind of free therapist off the NHS (can't afford to pay for it) although I know they will offer CBT which I think is mostly rubbish, plus my disability makes going to any appointments difficult as I may be incapacitated with pain at any random time, which is a bother.

[DoesNotFollow]

I would quite like some kind of free therapist off the NHS (can't afford to pay for it) although I know they will offer CBT which I think is mostly rubbish, plus my disability makes going to any appointments difficult as I may be incapacitated with pain at any random time, which is a bother.

Last two times I contacted Steps2Wellbeing I eventually got one-to-one talking therapy so might be worth a try. If I remember correctly they asked if I'd prefer CBT or talking therapy.

[Vinnie01]

Last two times I contacted Steps2Wellbeing I eventually got one-to-one talking therapy so might be worth a try. If I remember correctly they asked if I'd prefer CBT or talking therapy.

I contacted Steps2change, they referred to me the CMHT where I see my CPN now due to my symptoms being presented as severe.

[Dr Rock]

 Steps2change? Do you have to live in Dorset or Southampton?

[Vinnie01]

Steps2change? Do you have to live in Dorset or Southampton?

I never lived in those areas.

[Dr Rock]

Hampshire? Googling Steps2change London gets me nothing. I'm not sure I'm right for them as I'm not depressed. Would just like some sort of therapy, to talk about the tough bits of my weird mostly housebound volcel existence.

[markburgle]

Moving to another location, this will follow you as I found out.

Yeah I never bother with holidays either. Everything I want to get away from is in my head so why bother? That's why you end up doing the drugs and booze staycation although I'm too old for that now

Which ones? I'm on Duloxetine which is an anti-depressant that also helps with chronic nerve pain....

I would quite like some kind of free therapist off the NHS (can't afford to pay for it)

I've had Seroxat, one I can't remember, then a couple of goes on Citalopram (got up to 40mg a day at one point), then yer Duloxetine, which I was prescribed after being assessed for (and found not to have) schizoid personality disorder.

When I tried the NHS route all they offered was 16 week courses of talk therapy, which seems a fairly insignificant amount to me, but maybe if you've never talked to anyone before it might be good. It might be different now anyway, and I'm sure it's not only offered to depressed people so you should ask your GP, see what they say.

I ended up trying acupuncture the other day, which did absolutely sod all, but the practitioner booked me into this breathing therapy thing too. Sounded like it would be absolute woo woo but I went along with it and it was really intense. I was quite shaken by it.

I always hoped in therapy there'd be some cathartic dam-breaking moment where everything would just spill out in an unstoppable mess of crying and then afterwards you'd be freed, but I was always way too self conscious and scared to let that happen. This felt like if I kept going it would just break that dam by force. There was something really humbling about it (cos there is an arrogance to depression. The certainty that everything is shit). So I'm gonna keep trying that for a bit.

[Vinnie01]

Have you ever tried to go to the GP and ask for referral to a community mental health team (CMHT)?

I know Steps2change or Step2wellbeing will most likely assess you and then refer you to the CMHT if you present severe symptoms.
They will keep in contact to your GP.

Here are ones for Hampshire
https://www.connecttosupporthampshire.org.uk/mentalhealth

[Dr Rock]

Someone I know is qualifying s a hypno-therapist, and is offering free sessions, I'm going to give it a try. And seeing as we met on a a dating app there's a chance of romance too..

[imitationleather]

If you've been on antidepressants for at least two years you can get prescribed ketamine on the NHS now, fellahs.