County Kerry

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Kenmare is quite expensive. Was there a few years ago for a cousin's wedding.

Killarney national park is HUUUUUGE and worth a visit. I saw a deer there, just as the signs promised.

Pack all of your wet weather gear. All of it.

You're a bit far out for the Skellings Chocolate Factory (bout 2 hours drive from Dingle and it's quite small, but delicious chocolate).

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Here's a nice little challenge for you. See if you can spot the following when you're out Wesht and award yourself one point for:

Stone walls (and the grass is green)

Sheep roaming freely across the road

French/German tourists who have foolishly come here on a cycling holiday only to be rained out of it

Americans who've come to see where their people are from

A tour bus pulled over to let a bunch of blue-haired grandmas in brightly coloured anoraks take pictures of a donkey in a field

A restaurant charging €5 for a small ramekin of mashed potatoes

Abandoned holiday homes with waist-high grass instead of lawns

A village where one family owns most of the businesses

An "attraction" run by the Office of Public Works that's literally a building with stuff in display cases that you tour yourself around

Stunning natural beauty viewed through a curtain of rain

Luke Skywalker's hiding place

THE SUN (spotting this wins the game)

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A restaurant charging €5 for a small ramekin of mashed potatoes

The amount I've spent on accommodation (including 2 nights in a hostel ffs) I'll be outside checking the menu on the wall. About to put the 'Guinness is a meal in a glass' idea to the test.

Although out there I guess it isn't Guinness dominated so much. What'll they have? Murphy's, O'haras? Hopefully some Beamish. Killarney appears to have a brewery so that might provide respite from stout.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

The amount I've spent on accommodation (including 2 nights in a hostel ffs) I'll be outside checking the menu on the wall. About to put the 'Guinness is a meal in a glass' idea to the test.

Although out there I guess it isn't Guinness dominated so much. What'll they have? Murphy's, O'haras? Hopefully some Beamish. Killarney appears to have a brewery so that might provide respite from stout.

Magner's is called Bulmer's here, if you're a cider drinker. But any decent pub will have a wide variety of stuff.

[Utter Shit]

Most of my family are from Castlemaine, just south of Tralee. Fantastic pubs around there as you'd expect, and Inch beach is only up the road. Obviously you'll find great pubs wherever you go, but you should go out of your way to visit Inch beach.

[buttgammon]

The amount I've spent on accommodation (including 2 nights in a hostel ffs) I'll be outside checking the menu on the wall. About to put the 'Guinness is a meal in a glass' idea to the test.

Although out there I guess it isn't Guinness dominated so much. What'll they have? Murphy's, O'haras? Hopefully some Beamish. Killarney appears to have a brewery so that might provide respite from stout.

I like Franciscan Well (which is from Cork) and might be available. They do a good red ale called Rebel Red that's sometimes seen in Britain. There may be better local options though.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Most of my family are from Castlemaine, just south of Tralee. Fantastic pubs around there as you'd expect, and Inch beach is only up the road. Obviously you'll find great pubs wherever you go, but you should go out of your way to visit Inch beach.

I forgot I have a night in Annascaul, which just appears to be a long road, and that's not far from Inch beach. Will take a look, weather depending.

[Utter Shit]

I don't think there's much depending to be done, it will almost definitely rain. But Inch beach is sort of known for that. It's windswept and atmospheric rather than a place to enjoy the sun. They sell ice creams there but I'm not sure anyone has ever had cause to buy one.

[TrenterPercenter]

Although out there I guess it isn't Guinness dominated so much. What'll they have? Murphy's, O'haras? Hopefully some Beamish. Killarney appears to have a brewery so that might provide respite from stout.

Ah you might not be aware of the stout rivalries

Cork = Murphys
Rest of the Hoity-toity types = Guinness

Was essentially what my Grandad believed (he was an idiot though, Guinness is great)

You are over the border in Kerry so you can drink your Guinness without fear of reprisal but yeah there will be some other stuff on offer.

Also double recommend what PBGC says and get rain proof - you are going to get very wet.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Also double recommend what PBGC says and get rain proof - you are going to get very wet.

If you haven't already, get some wet-weather/waterproof pants. Absolute lifesaver.

It sticks in my craw to say this because I'm in the Sunny South-East and I'm sick of the West getting everything when it comes to tourism funding, but you cannot beat the Wild Atlantic Way for sheer natural beauty. You'll have a great time, Shoulders. Fingers crossed you might even get a bit of good weather.

[TrenterPercenter]

Last time I was in Killarney this happened.

https://youtu.be/7uTDcXYT4r8?t=2

So hopefully the weather will be a bit better for you.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Great to see Clonakilty Sausages representin' there.

[Sebastian Cobb]

A village where one family owns most of the businesses

I remember seeing a lighter for some place in Ireland that was a solicitors, pub and undertaker. All problems solved really.

[Thomas]

Here's a nice little challenge for you. See if you can spot the following when you're out Wesht and award yourself one point for:

Stone walls (and the grass is green)

Sheep roaming freely across the road

French/German tourists who have foolishly come here on a cycling holiday only to be rained out of it

Americans who've come to see where their people are from

A tour bus pulled over to let a bunch of blue-haired grandmas in brightly coloured anoraks take pictures of a donkey in a field

A restaurant charging €5 for a small ramekin of mashed potatoes

Abandoned holiday homes with waist-high grass instead of lawns

A village where one family owns most of the businesses

An "attraction" run by the Office of Public Works that's literally a building with stuff in display cases that you tour yourself around

Stunning natural beauty viewed through a curtain of rain

Luke Skywalker's hiding place

THE SUN (spotting this wins the game)

+ Ian Bailey (extra point if you can nick the feather off his hat)

[gilbertharding]

As an English person of a certain age talk of County Kerry reminds me of nothing other than John Noakes - on an episode of Go With Noakes - saying that as the rest of the world tells Irish Jokes, the Irish tell Kerry Jokes.

I wonder, if that is even true, if nowadays when you can't tell an Irish joke and get away with it, Irish people still tell Kerry jokes. Probably not, eh...

[shiftwork2]

Heard one about a Kerry man who was out standing in his field.  That was in Ireland a few years ago.  It was quite good.

[EOLAN]

Kerryman jokes were definitely the in thing when I was growing up in the 90s.

[Wonderful Butternut]

Kerryman jokes were definitely the in thing when I was growing up in the 90s.

Kerry Leaving Cert. Maths Paper One:

Q1) If I have two apples, how many apples do I have?

[gilbertharding]

Thank goodness John Noakes wasn't lying.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

+ Ian Bailey (extra point if you can nick the feather off his hat)

He's still in Cork though isn't he?

[DJ Bob Hoskins]

He's still in Cork though isn't he?

My brother (along with his family and in-laws) went on holiday to West Cork back in July and encountered him twice in the space of 3 days. Firstly in Schull, where he randomly approached and chatted to my bro's brother-in-law. Two days later they saw him at a restaurant in Glengarriff having lunch with a lady whom they somehow failed to recognise at the time:

https://www.corkbeo.ie/news/local-news/ian-bailey-tells-lunch-sinead-21057329

[Calistan]

Visited Kerry for the first time last year and we enjoyed it so much we went down again a couple of months afterwards. Possibly too late but a few recommendations which are possibly redundant if you're relying on public transport but anyway:

Gleninchaquin Park - private park which costs a fiver or tenner or something but well worth it, amazing place. We went for the longer trail which was a lovely two or three hour walk around waterfalls, hills and bogland. Should be more well known.

Killarney National Park / Torc Waterfall - what everyone else said. The trail to the mountain is fantastic too, though I almost collapsed on the way since I'm not very fit.

Páidí O'Shea's pub in Ventry. Great bar, amazing Guinness and five minutes down the road is a lovely beach. Made the mistake of setting up our tent after three or four pints of said Guinness. It's not too far from Dingle.

Only spent an afternoon in Kenmare but looked a nice wee town. There's a little brewery there and the owners were very nice but I can't remember what the beer was like unfortunately. There's a small walk past the golf course which was pleasant enough.

O'Neills The Point Seafood Bar - amazing seafood if that's your thing and it's close to Valentia Island which is also great.

Glanteenassig Park - another really nice national park, quite small but great scenery, etc., etc.

Dingle was another lovely wee town we didn't spend enough time in but maybe later in the year.

I got a crate of Killarney beer for my birthday and while I appreciated the sentiment they weren't particularly good. Red ale might have been decent. In supermarkets you might come across O'Hara's Léann Folláin stout which is very nice, or 8 Degrees Brewery who do some decent beer too.