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FUCKING HELL PIKE

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, September 02, 2021, 10:21:54 PM

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chveik

Pike you sick fuck garbage boy

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

"Pike, put this potato in your mouth"

"It doesn't look much like a potato, Captain Mainwaring"

"It's a special potato Pike. Now put it in your mouth and be a good boy. Now pull the pin"

*BLAM*

"Stupid boy"

frajer

Pike you rambunctious sack of arseholes, that was Adolf Hitler you just married.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Pike, you have just lost World War Two!

Fambo Number Mive

Pike, I've told the army recruiting officer you are actually 19 for a joke. You leave for the Western front tonight.

frajer

Pike is this service revolver clean

Right down the barrel son.

Fambo Number Mive

Pike, Mr Godfrey would like to use you as a toilet. And he's got a dicky tummy tonight.

idunnosomename

Pike give my bottom a little kiss you beautiful boy

Fambo Number Mive

Men, when I give the word, fix bayonets and charge Pike.

frajer

Pike remember when I told you Granny Scroggins was a Nazi spy? Well it was a joke you lumpen turnip, you murdering her didn't strengthen British defences one iota. Fuck's sake boy.


kalowski

Look at you, Pike. Pants all full of shit and grease all round your mouth. And you stink of...what is that? Eggs. It's eggs. You stink of eggs. You're a cunt.
Wilson, get this shit cleaned up.

Fambo Number Mive

For someone called "Pike" you have a tiny, misshaped penis which smells worse than my wife's armpits. Hitler has a tiny, misshaped penis, Pike. Are you sure you aren't a German spy?

Mr Farenheit

Good news, Pike. You're being transferred to Stalingrad.

Fambo Number Mive

Do you think that's wise, sir?

No, it's that cunt Pike.

frajer

Pike we've all discussed this and you really are a blithering knobhead, and your mother signed this sworn affidavit saying as much. Dismissed.

The verger looks like someone mated a paedophile with a mole and he's still somehow better than you, Pike.

Just got off the phone with your mother, Pike. She's decided she wants a post-natal abortion. I hope you like scalding hot coat hangers, boy, cos you'll be shitting them out 'til fucking Christmas

Fambo Number Mive

Hello Mavis, how are you...yes, Frank really is awful, isn't he. Don't worry, we'll get him shipped off to a foxhole in Normandy and then we can go at it on the kitchen table each evening.

frajer

Pike you thundering stack of arse, you conga line of ochre piss, you pubic louse dreaming it's a man - pop down the corner shop and get us a bag of crisps yeah?

kalowski

Stop looking at my tits, Pike.

Shoulders?-Stomach!


Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Pike, I have good news. The Germans have agreed to surrender, so long as you agree to submit to some of their tests. Say hello to Dr Mengele.

Mr Farenheit

"Pike! Pike, it's Marvin. Your cousin, Marvin Pike, from the future. You know that new sound you're looking for?"
"No"
"Well, listen to this!"
"Don't like it"
"Fucking Hell, Pike"

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Watch us wreck the mic
Watch us wreck the mic
Watch us wreck the mic

Pike

Mr Farenheit

"LAVENDAAAAAAAR!!! This food is cold. Some 'Dining Experience!' this is! You should have replaced the exclamation mark with a question mark if you ask me. Ha!"
"Sorry sir, won't happen again sir"
"You're pathetic. At least try and entertain us, if you can't feed us."
"Oh, 'oo left the spam in the anderson shelter? Doo-be-doo be doo dah, must be Uncle Arthur"
"BOOOOOOOO that's rubbish! You've clearly forgotten the words and your singing voice is dreadful!"
"W-We're all dooooomed"
"Stop stammering man! That's not even your catchphrase! Why is there no Fraser anyway, he was much better than you!"
"Its only me"
"That's it?? This is hardly what I expected."
"That's why the food's cold, I'm doing all the cooking by myself as well as keepin you entertained."
"You're hardly doing that!"
"Sorry"
"And it's not as if you have a lot of orders. I'm the only guest."
"Sorry"
"I've a good mind to ask for my money back"
"Please don't do that, I'll never cover my costs. I need to pay for this exhibition centre"
"Fucking Hell, Pike"

frajer

Pike you're on landmine licking duty today, we drew straws while you were in utero.

Fambo Number Mive

Here we are men, the drinks. Ten pints of beer and for you, Pike, a glass of the landlord's most rancid piss.

Fambo Number Mive

Pike, 4am run round Walmington on Sea wearing a Nazi uniform for you, if you get back alive you can clean Mr Godfrey's toenails.

frajer

Pike eat this prototype gobstobber we've created which perfectly resembles a sea mine. It's just over there in the sea.