Struggling to understand what a village is.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/sep/03/tv-cliche-i-adore-the-calm-of-an-english-village

Not sure this writer understands what a village is. They namecheck several towns (even going on to accept one is a town) and cite a 'single room cinema' as a typical village perk. Hmm.

As for wood panelled pubs, there would be more if wealthy city folk hadnt hollowed out rural villages for their holiday homes and left the pub without a year round clientele unless they turn themselves into a destination gastropub (ie. A dining room/restaurant rather than a pub).

As far as calm goes, most of the places here are honeypots and the majority of people in sight are there for the day or the weekend. People fantasizing about it, like at a theme park. Ambleside is not my first thought for a tranquil experience. No doubt it feels like that for some people, though.

There's a certain persistent middle class city folk cluelessness to all this. It reminds me of Tom, the landlord of Fagans in Sheffield talking about some Liberal Democrats who were up from London somehow deciding to enter his pub, and spent the time gawking at everything, making supremely patronising sneering comments without realising how they were coming across.

I am not from a village but I can imagine those who are rolling their eyes at this.

[Pancake]

Wow never thought of visiting a... what were they called again? 'village'?... for pleasure. Just booked a week in Kettering town centre, really charge my batteries.

[Butchers Blind]

'It takes a village to raise a child' apparently, I grew up in a town and was fine.

[Norton Canes]

That's not an article, that's an introduction to an article. Did she forget to submit the rest?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

They have, apparently, been paid for this.

[Pancake]

and spent the time gawking at everything, making supremely patronising sneering comments without realising how they were coming across.

On every table they had these like plastic red tomatoes, which you'd squeeze and you got tomato ketchup out of them, but they looked like a sort of Robert Rauschenberg... they were sort of too big for themselves

[idunnosomename]

Even the word "cottage" seems to represent their charming character.

Haha oh Lady HaJa, you sheltered soul

[Pancake]

Is she literally trying to break 'getting away to a place that's different to the one in which you live'?

[bgmnts]

Presumably she didn't grow up in a village.

[Jasha]

1 bus an hour until the council cut the subsidy

[Better Midlands]

I was surprised when I visited a so called "village" that the people weren't all made up of cops, construction workers, Native American chiefs, soldiers and S&M leathermen.

2/5 Very disappointed, will not return.

[Zetetic]

These days, all my semantics is derived from the OSM wiki:
https://wiki.openstreetmap.org/wiki/Key:place#Populated_settlements.2C_urban_and_rural

[Fr.Bigley]

Bigger than a hamlet, smaller than a town.

[Kankurette]

Ask IDLES, they know about villages.

[buttgammon]

I used to live in a village, which has a population of almost 5000 and is close enough to town that you can just about walk it (you wouldn't want to walk back because there are some very steep hills). In Ireland, a lot of places of that size would be considered towns depending on location but in Wales, it was a village.

[Pancake]

I used to live in a village of 5000 too, "one of the largest villages in Worcestershire" we'd say, proudly, "oh wow the largest village in Worcestershire?" people would exclaim, "one of" we'd have to constantly correct.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I used to live in a village of 5000 too, "one of the largest villages in Worcestershire" we'd say, proudly, "oh wow the largest village in Worcestershire?" people would exclaim, "one of" we'd have to constantly correct.

My mum worked in one of the villages near Pershore and some of those lot had never been to places 6 miles down the road. That was 'away' as far as they're concerned. At some point you'd think they'd do it by accident,but no.

[Blumf]

It's not a village unless there's a large amorphous bouncing white blob thing that tries to stop you leaving.

[Tony Tony Tony]

Mrs TTT grew up in a Hertfordshire village. Apparently in olden times it was said that to live there you had to have a certain standard of wealth, this being an income of 'at least a hundred pounds a year and a pig'.

These days I think the hundred pounds threshold has been increased, though not sure on the pig.

[Replies From View]

Has an abbey or cathedral:  city

Has a town hall:  town

Has a post office:  village




Don't think I've missed anything.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Has an abbey or cathedral:  city

Has a town hall:  town

Has a post office:  village




Don't think I've missed anything.

You forgot 'a Hard Wanking Crew'

[Replies From View]

Places in America that have things like Texas Chainsaw Massacres, what are they called.  Outcrops?

[Pancake]

IMO you only get to be a city if you've got everything you need without going anywhere else; concert hall, big Tescos, John lewis

[Replies From View]

You forgot 'a Hard Wanking Crew'

Do they need a whole crew for it?  And what does one create?  A metropolis?


Must admit it's been a couple of decades since Sim City 2000 so I will be forgiven for only knowing everything I know

[Replies From View]

IMO you only get to be a city if you've got everything you need without going anywhere else; concert hall, big Tescos, John lewis

You forgot 'a sacrificial cross'

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Do they need a whole crew for it?  And what does one create?  A metropolis?


Must admit it's been a couple of decades since Sim City 2000 so I will be forgiven for only knowing everything I know

A Hard Wanking Crew indicates the presence of a hamlet.

[Sebastian Cobb]

IMO you only get to be a city if you've got everything you need without going anywhere else; concert hall, big Tescos, John lewis

Nah, even some towns have those council grant arts centres that are small theatres and do concerts/film showings/performances etc and supermarkets have parachuted themselves into the outskirts, some even have a swimming baths, so this doesn't hold.

In terms of Worcestershire, take Redditch or Bromsgrove for instance.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Agreed. Hebden Bridge has all of those and a sub 6,000 population. They have lots of stuff mainly due to lots of visitors on weekends due to being picturesque and on a trainline. Doesn't make it a city.

[Inspector Norse]

Prerequisites for villagehood, checklist

- Village green with game of cricket perpetually going on. Even if village green is now middle of roundabout.
- Ruddy-faced blacksmith. Also local smack dealer.
- Pub on every corner with word 'Harvest' or a tree in its name
- Cobbled main street with travel agent and children's bookshop
- Entire male population are aggressive lager louts who do folk dance at weekends
- Book club whose members are murdered on regular basis
- Loudmouthed yuppie who has big house nearby and walks round shouting into oversized mobile phone
- Bench reserved for the use of old people eating ice cream

[Jasha]

Postie delivers from a Vauxhall Combo van