Vigil - Line Of Duty on a submarine

[Wayman C. McCreery]

I think it's to be one of those shows - like or Bodyguard or the later series of Line Of Duty - where everything is the result of a high-level conspiracy led by characters introduced five minutes before the end of the penultimate episode.

Well I wasn't far off.

This is a very, very bad television programme.

[mothman]

It'll probably end the way these shows always end. Our pair of cops will drive off into the sunset away from the naval base and live happily ever after -

Spoiler alert

for about five seconds, before their car explodes. Cut to the supercilious smug establishment figure - basically Stannis Baratheon in this show - receiving a phone call while in a meeting, displaying no emotion, not even saying anything before putting the phone down, and getting on with his meeting absolutely unbothered with what's just happened at his behest.

[close]

[jobotic]

It is very bad but her predicament at the end of last night's episode did freak me out a bit.

Not enough to care what happens although I'll probably watch it next week.

[Custard]

Mrs Custard is enjoying it, so it's a weekly thing in our gaff. Though it's a show where I genuinely can't remember anything from the previous episode.

Did quite enjoy the ending of this week's though, and can't wait to not remember it for the final episode on Sunday

[gilbertharding]

It's very bad, but quite enjoyable. I don't know how much light there is inside a torpedo tube though.

[Echo Valley 2-6809]

Mrs Custard is enjoying it, so it's a weekly thing in our gaff.

Same with my wife, and her mum.
It's written for them though, isn't it? Inwardly vulnerable woman, but independent, strong and ruddy bloody brave, surrounded by mostly gittish men. Unfortunately the dialogue's not very good and she talks and acts in a boring male way. It does pick up in Series 4 though.

[jobotic]

"Day 51 in the torpedo tube"

[Jack Shaftoe]

I saw a tweet about yer woman ending up in the torpedo tube before I saw that episode and honestly thought it was a joke. My wife's criticism about this show is you can't imagine anyone in it existing outside of the plot, and I know what she means.

The acting's a bit weird as well, most of the actors only seem to be giving it about 90%, and there was one bit where Patterson Joseph seemed to give in and made an exposition dump along the lines of 'here we are with a gas attack in our missile bit and two Russian subs following us' and made it suddenly 400% camper than anything in it so far.

[ProvanFan]

Joseph is doing some brilliant eye-work in this.

[Custard]

Yeah, I keep wondering when he's gonna pull out some big fuck off spreadsheets

[A Hat Like That]

All aboard. This submarine has no brakes.

[mikeyg27]

I'm a little worried that this is going to end with someone saying "...and THAT'S why we had to renew Trident."

Hmm, not a million miles away. Everyone thinks its a waste of money, but no-one's willing to give it up either.

[Gulftastic]

Being in a soaking wet hole made her realise how much she missed her girlfriend.

[jobotic]

So Doward did it all for a laugh?

The Telegraph is very angry about this. Still doesn't make it worth while.

[BeardFaceMan]

Turned my nose up at this when I saw it was from the people who did Line Of Duty, but then I saw Jed Mercurio wasn't involved so I thought I'd try it. Fuck me, I won't be making that mistake again, I now know I can steer well clear of anything with "... from the makers of Line Of Duty" strapped to it.

[Bernice]

God, watched this whole thing. 6 hours of my life. That's 12 wanks at a minimum.

[Alberon]

Stacked this up and then burned through it in a week. Rubbish and not all that entertaining rubbish really. Story seemed to finish halfway through the final episode as well.

It got to the point I was watching the sets, which is never a good sign. They never really convinced as being on a sub. Not really fair to the designers, I know, but I kept getting a 1980s Doctor Who vibe. It looked like a studio to me.

[Custard]

Yeah, this was plops

I was laughing throughout the last episode at the sheer rubbishness of the writing. It was hilariously poor, and it looked like even the cast had given up and were reading their lines off a fag packet

Amazing the BBC thought that this was strong enough for primetime viewing. It's one of the worst mainstream efforts I've seen in a long time. Weakest of the weak sauces, thinnest of the thin soups. Shite

[BeardFaceMan]

I was barely paying attention by the end, but was the justification of that bloke going rogue and becoming a Russian spy really just Silva's throwaway line about him being a narcissist and wanting attention?

[Bernice]

Yes, yes it was. I got quite into stories of real-life Cold War defection, and it seems true that often people were/are motivated by narcissism. The classic profile is someone within the national security apparatus who feels overlooked or underappreciated, turned initially by offers of money, but who's really in it as a way to prove, to themselves and the world, that they aren't some loser and are in fact smarter than their superiors.

I imagine this is where that idea came from, but given we got absolutely no insight into the defector at all (I'd forgotten the character even existed until he showed up right at the end) we just had to be told "oh, yeah, he's a narcissist," in the literal last minute of the episode.

I fucking love espionage and submarines and pulpy hokum, how do you manage to fuck this up so badly?

[jobotic]

Of course there's a million shit TV programmes, most of them in fact, but they don't come with endless promotion about how wonderful and important they are and three articles a week in The Guardian

[BeardFaceMan]

Seeing as this was "...from the makers of Line Of Duty" you would have thought we'd get some amazing interrogation scene at the end, a captivating back and forth as the good guys outwit the bad guys to find out what the fuck is really going on. No, we get one line of shitty exposition dialogue gained from watching the suspect have a bit of a chat for a few minutes. Christ, I'm actually angry at myself for watching all of this.

[ProvanFan]

Suranne and Johnson should have kissed

[Dex Sawash]

Predicting I will love this once it lands on NF or whoever has itt here (america)

[JesusAndYourBush]

Is this just the one series, or is it going to go to a 2nd series?
When I saw it was made by the same people as Line Of Duty and starred some of the people I just went "oh fuck off!"
If it's just one series and that's it then I'll consider watching it, but if it's going to a 2nd series then I'll stand by my original statement.

[Alberon]

The showrunner has made some noises about a second series being possible following some of the characters, but not involving submarines, at which point you can legitimately ask what is the point of that?

[batwings]

A British astronaut is murdered on the International Space Station...

[Gulftastic]

I liked it when Johnson got all butch and announced that Mr X was a traitor and put out a kill order, at which point two of the smallest crew members ran off unarmed to get him.

[batwings]

I liked it when Johnson got all butch and announced that Mr X was a traitor and put out a kill order, at which point two of the smallest crew members ran off unarmed to get him.

Yeah they had a sailor get a pistol from an arms locker earlier in the series didn't they?

[Custard]

Turns out the whole thing was Johnson imagining what was happening, after being roped into a game of tabletop by Mark and Gerard ( The Dobby Club (TM) )