Author Topic: Yer Partners' Families  (Read 2506 times)

Sebastian Cobb

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Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #60 on: September 06, 2021, 09:22:50 PM »
Two lessons in the importance of providing context in one post

I’m married to a significantly more family orientated person than me, but it works well, as I genuinely enjoy her parents company. I’ve known them before my partner actually. Moved in with them over the lockdown and it was no bov, never offfered me a lift home once so far

Sounds like they skipped over the 'lifts' part onto something more intimate tbh.

PlanktonSideburns

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Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #61 on: September 06, 2021, 09:28:33 PM »
I'm very wary of dating anyone who's too close to their family. You know they have some huge ideal of the perfect family and you will never match up as a couple.

Equally though if your partner spends a lot of time despairing of their family, that can be just as tiresome. Few things are more boring than somebody else's grudge.

The best thing (which I've achieved with the major part of my own family) is to get on well, but not see them too often and not outstay your welcome. You're all adults.

I spend quite a lot of time taking the much out of my partners mum and dad to her

I wonder if it comes from a place of insecurity about my family of punch drunk ledges from Cwmbran

Jockice

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Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #62 on: September 06, 2021, 10:36:16 PM »
My girlfriend's sister apparently said at the weekend she 'approves' of me. It's only taken seven years.

Actually when I've met members of her family - which is probably about a dozen times in total - we've got on fine, although I don't think they know quite what to make of me. Her parents are in their 80s, both have dementia and are in a home in Somerset and her brother lives down there too so rarely see them. There's a lot of psychodrama in her family though, most of which I've heard about in full detail on numerous occasions. Only one side though.

As for my family, my parents are long gone but she's met my sister a few times. They had a bit of a fall-out about three years ago, which was my sister's fault for reading and making assumptions about someone else's private post (she's fallen out with her own kids and misconstrued a.comment.on something she shouldn't have read). They've only met once since then and although they got on okay, I have no great urge to bring them together again.

But, as I always say, all families are bloody weird. Every last one.

Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #63 on: September 06, 2021, 10:51:37 PM »
They’re ok ones a cube

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #64 on: September 06, 2021, 11:15:46 PM »

Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #65 on: September 07, 2021, 01:24:50 AM »
Mrs 500's family are either dead (parents, sister), live in Australia and are not on speaking terms (2 brothers), or live in Leeds but not on speaking terms (other brother).
So I have very little to contribute to this thread as I've never met any of them.

She's probably (definitely) got complaints about my kin,  but not my problem.

Mobius

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Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #66 on: September 07, 2021, 02:16:49 AM »
Been with my partner for 6 years and never met any of her family

Just say no.

Jockice

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Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #67 on: September 07, 2021, 06:28:02 AM »
My girlfriend's sister apparently said at the weekend she 'approves' of me. It's only taken seven years.

Her parents are in their 80s, both have dementia and are in a home in Somerset and her brother lives down there too so rarely see them.

Her sister meanwhile lives a couple of miles from me, however we've never just bumped into each other, although I had a chance meeting in the city centre with her young adult kids and their partners a couple of years ago. They're okay. But the sister may be moving elsewhere soon after the latest psychodrama that I'm not allowed to tell anyone about. Not even you.

As for my girlfriend's kids, I've always got on well with her daughter, although she's now at the awkward mid-teens stage. The son's four years older and went through a period of ignoring me and walking out of the room when I came in. I think his dad (who I've never spoken to but seems a bit of a prick) may have had something to do with this. I didn't take it personally though and he will say hello to me now if our paths cross. Which they don't often.
« Last Edit: September 07, 2021, 08:42:46 AM by Jockice »

Buelligan

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Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #68 on: September 07, 2021, 08:13:07 AM »
EDIT fuck fuck fuck.

The Mollusk

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Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #69 on: September 07, 2021, 08:40:10 AM »
Something I really enjoy about my fiancee's parents is that they've gone from a life of loving to travel and experiencing the foods and cultures of the world to narrowing their pleasures down to a very rigid set of parameters. They're very knowledgable and open-minded about the world and its various customs that they've experienced throughout their lives but they're now at the age that any new sort of this information to them is a lot more easily ignored.

Her father is really into the guitar, all sorts from Eric "The Cunt" Clapton to Spanish classical stuff. As a birthday present last year I suggested we get him a CD by Derek Gripper, an South African musician who plays Malian classical standards on the acoustic. The dude is incredible, he's ably to deftly play the work of two guitarists on his own and it's really beautiful stuff. This is a GREAT gift, I thought. So anyway the next time we saw him after it'd been delivered we asked him if he liked it and he just said "Nah not really" with almost no further elaboration on why, not even a nod to the expert musicianship if he simply didn't like the music itself. I thought that was awesome. Fair play mate, Gripper in the bin.

Buelligan

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Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #70 on: September 07, 2021, 08:48:57 AM »
Loved it!  Thanks Mollusk, not even my birthday.  :D

Cerys

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Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #71 on: September 07, 2021, 09:30:37 AM »
SNG's brother was instrumental in me getting a job, so he's on my 'lovely people' list.  Their father is a bigoted, child-beating, spouse-raping bundle of fun, and their mum is in a nursing home as a result of years of alcoholism and domestic violence.  We don't see them very often.

Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #72 on: September 07, 2021, 08:29:15 PM »
Partner's family are a slow-moving bourgeoise car-crash. I liked her dad but he died early last year. The widow (step-mother) drinks all the time and neglects her youngest son and my partner is having to do all the admin and chasing after he understandably flunked school recently. The eldest half-sister has lost contact with all of the family deliberately and - I shit you not - refuses to come back until she has 'perfected her aesthetic'. Horrible post-death estate issues worthy of a mini-series. Money is poison.

Her mum is pleasant-seeming but fairly sure she isn't a fan of me in secret, plus everything she says has a knife hidden behind the back, and her husband is a provincial noveau riche bore who spent years trying to bully Mrs 7D and her full sister into calling him dad. He and Mrs 7D clearly hate each other. Her sister is a wellness-obsessed Instagram yoga narcissist. There's a parade of quite successful aunties and uncles (surgeon, QC, head of psychology for regional NHS) who disappear when the going gets tough. I like her gran a lot, though she would genuinely be happy left alone forever.

Dex Sawash

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Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #73 on: September 07, 2021, 09:37:58 PM »

Wife has 3 brothers, they're all ok. Her mother is a toxic narcissist and nobody interacts with her anymore.

Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #74 on: September 07, 2021, 11:34:52 PM »
Her father is really into the guitar, all sorts from Eric "The Cunt" Clapton to Spanish classical stuff. As a birthday present last year I suggested we get him a CD by Derek Gripper, an South African musician who plays Malian classical standards on the acoustic. The dude is incredible, he's ably to deftly play the work of two guitarists on his own and it's really beautiful stuff. This is a GREAT gift, I thought. So anyway the next time we saw him after it'd been delivered we asked him if he liked it and he just said "Nah not really" with almost no further elaboration on why, not even a nod to the expert musicianship if he simply didn't like the music itself. I thought that was awesome. Fair play mate, Gripper in the bin.

Ha, that's amazing, but I also get oddly saddened by the thought of anyone going to the effort of doing or making something nice for other people which then gets roundly rebuffed or ignored.

My dad and his dad were sort of similar though, in that my dad would try to show him films and TV and music he was passionate about, which my granddad would sit through wordlessly, polite to a fault (even through stuff that clearly made him uncomfortable - anything gay, or with lots of swearing, for example), then at the end when asked for his opinion, would say "not my cup of tea, but maybe I'm just too old to get it" and promptly change the subject.

On the subject of partners' families - found out that my brother's partner's dad died unexpectedly this week. I never met him and I don't even know her all that well, but aside from obviously feeling awful for her, I'm also really hoping my bro will be OK. I can't imagine how difficult it must be supporting a partner through a seismic shock like that, they don't live close to her family (or ours, for that matter) so I think initially it'll very much be on him to keep her going.

thenoise

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Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #75 on: September 08, 2021, 05:03:17 PM »
Jeez, they must really hate you!

Well that's fair enough. But they hate me more than they love their daughter, which is a bit pathetic.

Tony Tony Tony

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Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #76 on: September 08, 2021, 06:01:01 PM »
My now (happily) ex-in laws were two oddities of the highest order.

Mother in Law once bought me a musical beer stein that played roll out the barrel when picked up as an Xmas present.

Father in law barred my daughter from playing on his lawn in case it 'messed up the grass' and told my son off for leaning on the living room wall as he had 'crushed the wallpaper'.

monkfromhavana

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Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #77 on: September 10, 2021, 08:24:01 AM »
We're in the process of buying a house, and as my girlfriend's dad gave us some money to help with the deposit we have to provide 6 months worth of his bank statements. My girlfriend reported his responses to me (they're Polish) in all innocence.

"I have to provide 6 months of of bank statements? Really? Full statements? Including me buying......cat litter? Is it possible for me to send partial statement where I am able to not show the transactions?".

Guess I'm about to discover the kinky mores of my prospective father-in-law.

Sebastian Cobb

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Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #78 on: September 10, 2021, 11:07:39 AM »
We're in the process of buying a house, and as my girlfriend's dad gave us some money to help with the deposit we have to provide 6 months worth of his bank statements. My girlfriend reported his responses to me (they're Polish) in all innocence.

"I have to provide 6 months of of bank statements? Really? Full statements? Including me buying......cat litter? Is it possible for me to send partial statement where I am able to not show the transactions?".

Guess I'm about to discover the kinky mores of my prospective father-in-law.

I have a mate who's an accountant at a uni and deals with taking money out the grant funds etc. He's had lecturers/staff expense hotel rooms with room charges heavily redacted (and not included in the claim) in black marker.

I'd have thought with modern internet, and even fairly ubiquitous 4g, the 'special' channels in hotels would no longer be profitable.

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Yer Partners' Families
« Reply #79 on: September 10, 2021, 11:50:39 AM »
I think my dislike of my wife's family is the one sore spot in our relationship, like a little scab that we pick at now and again and immediately regret. They're fucking annoying though. "Don't believe everything you read in the media," they say, as they forward a link to an article on PRO-LIFE BREXIT NEWS WEB about how asylum seekers can flatten themselves down and get in through the letter box to steal your radiators.

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