This'll be the last time

[machotrouts]

I've tried to avoid thinking about this since the pandemic shut down what little social life I had. Have I already, for example, hugged a person for the last time? I can't picture the context in which it would happen again. Who would I be hugging? What are they getting out of it? It it consensual? Am I paying them? Am I assaulting them? I think it's better to dwell on the things I know are still possible. This can of Relentless I'm drinking... it probably won't be the last can of Relentless I'll drink in my life. I think I might even have a triple-figure number of Relentlesses left in my life! There's so much to live for, as long as I still like Relentlesses. I probably have drunk Red Bull for the last time, but that's because Red Bull is disgusting. I have no idea why it costs so much more than Relentless. Relentless is so obviously the pinnacle of the form. Red Bull tastes like a Relentless that someone's marinated a dog chew toy in.

[The Culture Bunker]

You can absolutely count on the fact that you'll always shit yourself at least once more

I suppose there's a philosophical question about whether the former vessel of your being emptying the guts after you die really counts as you shitting yourself.

[Icehaven]

I've tried to avoid thinking about this since the pandemic shut down what little social life I had. Have I already, for example, hugged a person for the last time? I can't picture the context in which it would happen again. Who would I be hugging? What are they getting out of it? It it consensual? Am I paying them? Am I assaulting them? I think it's better to dwell on the things I know are still possible. This can of Relentless I'm drinking... it probably won't be the last can of Relentless I'll drink in my life. I think I might even have a triple-figure number of Relentlesses left in my life! There's so much to live for, as long as I still like Relentlesses. I probably have drunk Red Bull for the last time, but that's because Red Bull is disgusting. I have no idea why it costs so much more than Relentless. Relentless is so obviously the pinnacle of the form. Red Bull tastes like a Relentless that someone's marinated a dog chew toy in.

Fair doos Red Bull absolutely stinks.

[kalowski]

I think I last had a Red Bull in 1996.

[non capisco]

There was this kid at school who I'm guessing had some kind of eating disorder who it emerged was just stashing their packed lunch sandwiches in their locker instead of eating them, leading to a backlog of ham sandwiches that was discovered when the sickly sweet smell of rotting meat became so pervasive that we all had to open our lockers for inspection because the teacher thought a mouse had somehow got in one of them and carked it. That's what the smell of Red Bull reminds me of. When someone cracks open a can of that on the morning bus I'm right back in that classroom, it's nearly identical.

[Janie Jones]

Sorry for derail but this interests me, what's going on? The Red Bull thing? Having mopped up the diarrhoea of a vegetarian, that's what it reminds me of. Several of you also find it to have a strongly repulsive smell. Yet it's immensely popular. Is it like coriander, a genetic thing? What's the constituent that has this polarising effect? I get a whiff of it from Southern Comfort, does anyone else? What is it? Is there a Buzby for flavonoids?

[Poobum]

Wonder if it's related to how some people can't smell asparagus piss.

[imitationleather]

I actually quite like the smell of Red Bull, but it's been many years since I've drunk one.

I've just crunched the numbers and it's been at least nine years, in fact.

[Sebastian Cobb]

There was this kid at school who I'm guessing had some kind of eating disorder who it emerged was just stashing their packed lunch sandwiches in their locker instead of eating them, leading to a backlog of ham sandwiches that was discovered when the sickly sweet smell of rotting meat became so pervasive that we all had to open our lockers for inspection because the teacher thought a mouse had somehow got in one of them and carked it. That's what the smell of Red Bull reminds me of. When someone cracks open a can of that on the morning bus I'm right back in that classroom, it's nearly identical.

I must've not eaten my sandwiches one day or they fell out my bag or something and then I later found them in my locker, so naturally being an oik I peeled the foil back slightly to reveal a green mess and then chucked the fuckers as hard as I could at the wall so that emitted a satisfying green cloud. Bliss.

[Bently Sheds]

It's the last really hot day of the year today, I reckon...

[Icehaven]

There was this kid at school who I'm guessing had some kind of eating disorder who it emerged was just stashing their packed lunch sandwiches in their locker instead of eating them, leading to a backlog of ham sandwiches that was discovered when the sickly sweet smell of rotting meat became so pervasive that we all had to open our lockers for inspection because the teacher thought a mouse had somehow got in one of them and carked it. That's what the smell of Red Bull reminds me of. When someone cracks open a can of that on the morning bus I'm right back in that classroom, it's nearly identical.

Maybe they didn't have an eating disorder but were just sick of being given ham sandwiches every fucking day.

I must've not eaten my sandwiches one day or they fell out my bag or something and then I later found them in my locker, so naturally being an oik I peeled the foil back slightly to reveal a green mess and then chucked the fuckers as hard as I could at the wall so that emitted a satisfying green cloud. Bliss.

When I moved into a house in my third year at Uni there was half a jar of Dolmio in a cupboard (not even in the fridge) which must have been there at least since the previous students vacated the place at the end of term several months before. For some god unknown reason I opened it and there was a loud bang and a cloud of mould puffed up out of it. Decided against eating it. Might have been the universe's revenge for the time at school when I left a banana in my desk over the summer holidays and when we came back the entire room stank of rotting banana. Which also smells a bit like Red Bull.

[Buelligan]

I was wondering the other night if I'd ever have a relationship again, I'm sure I'll have sex, I mean there's the CaB meet in October for one thing, but I'm not certain if I can be arsed to go full in on a longterm thing. I haven't gone full Buelligan - that would involve the ownership of a cave for one thing*, but the person would have to be pretty special to do so.





*This is not a vagina joke.

I'm happy for you, dear Horsey.  Why not try thinking about it another way, though?  Consider this is the first time/start/beginning of me living in a way that will suit me... something like that. 

My mum was appallingly sentimental, she had a hard enough life, god love her but she could make a real tear-stained soft focus agonising black and white pull-back shot out of any change.  Think she helped me understand life can't be lived that way, not if you want to enjoy at least some of it.  Too many real sorrows (as I'm sure you know) to make it bearable and still keep walking.  Beginning stuff is always more optimistic and from optimism new and beautiful things can grow.  That's what I reckon anyway.

[Shit Good Nose]

I'm seeing Genesis in a couple of weeks, and it will DEFINITELY be the last time I see them live "in person".  Phil's practically dead now as it is.

[The Dog]

I remember seeing Osama Bin Laden on TV the day after 911 and thinking, well that's the last time I encourage anyone to follow their dreams.

[Shit Good Nose]

I remember seeing Osama Bin Laden on TV the day after 911 and thinking, well that's the last time I encourage anyone to follow their dreams.

Bodyshakin' was one of his favourite songs of all time.  Bless him.

[The Dog]

In those days we didnt even know what 'do 911' meant, what was I supposed to say?

[Shit Good Nose]

what was I supposed to say?

"You mean 999 mate.  Easy to remember, sing it like Michael Buerke - 'nine-nine niiiiiiiiine'."

[Pranet]

It's the last really hot day of the year today, I reckon...

Ha! I was thinking that in relation to this thread earlier.

[MikeP]

"may be the last time, I don't know"

humming it to myself many times while feeling for anti-handling devices.