Author Topic: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes  (Read 1521 times)

CONTESTANT: get the crystal

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2021, 11:00:29 PM »
whhuuooarr go up the rope ladder out of the aztec zone, now an advert break

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2021, 11:15:50 PM »
Bald contestant: *aside* I can’t wait to get enough gold tickets to win that golfing weekend in Arbroath.

madhair60

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2021, 11:27:03 PM »
hello i'm richard o brian you have got to solve the rooms to win crystals you can use in the crystal dome ok guys here we go good luck

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2021, 11:42:25 PM »
hello i am tod chew da pole and i say "let the fans blow" instead of "let the fans begin"

pancreas

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2021, 11:46:30 PM »
Mumsy! Get your hand off my penis!

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #6 on: September 13, 2021, 11:47:33 PM »
spin for about 3 minutes on this disc and fail to get anywhere and then get locked in

Captain Z

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #7 on: September 13, 2021, 11:49:33 PM »
Computer! Can you take away two incorrect crystals, leave the contestant with the correct crystal and one remaining wrong crystal.

Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2021, 12:33:27 AM »
the pony trekking holiday in Ullswater will be mine!!!!

Glebe

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #9 on: September 15, 2021, 12:44:42 AM »
RICHARD O' BRIEN: The Crustal Maaaze!!

MILLENNIALS: What?!

Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #10 on: September 15, 2021, 07:28:19 AM »
JOGGER JONES wins 3 crystals effortlessly, carries the whole team on his back. Guy's a fuckin crytal machine




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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #11 on: September 15, 2021, 08:03:34 AM »
NERVILE DRUNE picked for yet another MENTL game


you should see him spzzn out in the pits



GET THE CRYSTAL NERVILE


FUCKN GETS IT.  LIMBS EVERYWHERE



LEGEND

Dr Rock

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #12 on: September 15, 2021, 08:22:56 AM »
The Police - Elle elllo ello what's all this then?

Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #13 on: September 15, 2021, 09:46:16 AM »
"Where's the crystal???"

"Hidden, mate. Whole point of the game. Win the game first and it'll pop out. Fucks sake."

Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #14 on: September 15, 2021, 10:26:29 AM »
COME OUT COME OUT

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #15 on: September 15, 2021, 10:28:43 AM »
SHOUT AT THE CRYSTAL

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #16 on: September 15, 2021, 10:29:21 AM »
alright that’s 5 seconds in the crystal dome or you can use it to buy out Gus

Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #17 on: September 15, 2021, 10:43:53 AM »
We started as a team, we'll finish as a team.

Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #18 on: September 15, 2021, 10:44:55 AM »
There's a hole there, underneath the crytsal cage. maybe put your cock in there?

I don't think that's what it's there for

It's always worth a try (harmonica solo)

I think that's just the hole the crystal drops out of if you figure out the puzzle?

Is there anything else in there that looks like you might be able to stick your cock in it, chris?

15 seconds, people

Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #19 on: September 15, 2021, 10:45:19 AM »
Gus grabbing nothing but silver in the scant 15 seconds available. Stuffing them in the box with his chubby claws.

Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #20 on: September 15, 2021, 11:15:16 AM »
GET THE CRYSTAL!!!

Dr Rock

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #21 on: September 15, 2021, 12:21:32 PM »
The Police - We 'av hreason to believe that hon these ere premises han hillegal recreation hof the TV show Brighton Belles is taking place contrary to the European Act of Not Doin' Telly Shows Wivout The Proper Papers 1964'

[pulls aside fake beard]

'Heheh viewers- it's not really the police, it's me, Beadles About! Shhh!''

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #22 on: September 15, 2021, 12:25:11 PM »
I recognise that “shhh” noise

Dr Rock

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #23 on: September 15, 2021, 12:38:45 PM »
'Eh? It was nothing!' (Delivers lethal injection of diamorphine)

'That's it, sleepy-byes Ethel'

Captain Z

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #24 on: September 15, 2021, 01:50:35 PM »
Remember when Ed Tudor Pole broke his ankle running onto the set for the first time?

pancreas

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #25 on: September 15, 2021, 01:52:09 PM »
Touch the floor again, you cunt, go on, just fucking end your pathetic self. We won't be coming back for you. Ever.

Dr Rock

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #26 on: September 15, 2021, 02:59:43 PM »
[Pulls aside other beard]

'Tee-hee, it's not Beadle's About at all really! It's me, Dr Harold Shipman! Now shhhh!!'

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #27 on: September 15, 2021, 03:36:21 PM »
I recognise that “shhhh” noise

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #28 on: September 15, 2021, 03:43:04 PM »
TO THE RUNCORN SHARTING ZONE!!

Dr Rock

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Re: The Crystal Maze except it’s just The Crystal Maze with no changes
« Reply #29 on: September 15, 2021, 03:44:01 PM »
I recognise that “shhhh” noise

'What th? Still alive, but how? Bah this isn't lethal diamorphine I injected you with, it's harmless chip-fat! If anything that will make you stronger! I'd best scarper, eh readers/viewers!'

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