Author Topic: The Great British Bake-Off 2021  (Read 3933 times)

Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #30 on: September 22, 2021, 12:40:05 PM »
Fuck, just suddenly remembered the "hilarious" "comedy" number they opened the show with. Wretched. Can't believe someone didn't nix that in a production meeting.

Blue Jam

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #31 on: September 22, 2021, 06:09:33 PM »
Clean forgot this was on last night. Watching now.

FFS, what the fuck is this? How is it possible to make a parody of Achey-Breaky Heart even worse than the original?

Would rather have had Matt Lucas as George Dawes. What a waste.

Blue Jam

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #32 on: September 22, 2021, 06:13:26 PM »
A gravity-defying showstopper challenge? Oh you evil bastards.

Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #33 on: September 22, 2021, 10:41:39 PM »
Paul Hollywood looked like Father Fintan Stack in that mullet wig.

Juergen for the win, seems like a ledge. He's got some solid competition though.

Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #34 on: September 23, 2021, 06:24:33 PM »
Clean forgot this was on last night. Watching now.

FFS, what the fuck is this? How is it possible to make a parody of Achey-Breaky Heart even worse than the original?

Would rather have had Matt Lucas as George Dawes. What a waste.

I did wonder what ideas were rejected before they agreed on this one.

dr beat

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #35 on: September 23, 2021, 06:27:18 PM »
I steadfastly refused to watch that. Presumably the conceit was 'Cakey Breaky Heart?'

Blue Jam

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #36 on: September 23, 2021, 06:31:10 PM »
Even worse: #Don't bake my tart/My flakey pastry tart#

Please Grave My Arse more like

Blue Jam

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #37 on: September 23, 2021, 06:37:57 PM »
Early favourites here:

Lizzie (Scouse criminology graduate, refreshingly cigs about finesse, AND owns a Bedlington Terrier.

Giuseppe (Italian Stephen Mangan, birrova charmer in a nice shirt, and those mini rolls seriously impressed me. I want to make some now)

Jairzeno ("Are you worried about the judges?" "No."; "Who do you want to go home first?" "Freya". Blunt and to the point. Also reminds me how Welsh the Trinidadian accent sounds)

Jurgen (just a total ledge, hope he wins)

Can GTFO of GBBO:

Maggie (stop showboating and interviewing the presenters and calm down. Also mint chocolate chip is the best ice cream flavour and it does not taste like toothpaste you heathen)

Freya (vegan)

Dex Sawash

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #38 on: September 27, 2021, 01:22:14 AM »
They probably had loads of fun making the cakey breaky shite. Should have just had Matt Lucas do Boris again.


Getting full Werner Ziegler vibe from Jurgen, hope he does a BCS theme bake.

Giuseppe's roll things were stunning, was predisposed to hating him for not being bald.

Maggie will go down in full Brendan old school hubris eventually

Shameless Custard

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #39 on: September 27, 2021, 08:35:02 AM »
Maggie seems a bit too comfortable. This is not your social club, Maggie. This is a deadly serious business

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #40 on: September 27, 2021, 09:44:36 AM »
Not convinced by the first showstopper, which looked more like "Who has a mate with some power tools?" than a serious cooking contest. It was amazing how some, like Freya and Giuseppe, produced things of beauty, and others came up with crap that would be laughed at on Junior Bake-Off. Some of them must feel like going home after that. But I guess growing and improving is part of it.

I hate that kind of shit. Yeah, it looks impressive from the outside (when done right I mean) but who wants to eat cake filled with rebars and girders? It's more construction skills than baking.

imitationleather

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #41 on: September 27, 2021, 09:45:51 AM »
I tell you who'd be excellent on Bake-Off: Colin Pitchfork

Blue Jam

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #42 on: September 27, 2021, 10:32:35 AM »
Getting full Werner Ziegler vibe from Jurgen, hope he does a BCS theme bake.

You mean he lasts until almost the end of the series before Paul Hollywood takes him outside and shoots him in the back of the head? Yeah, sounds about right.

Personally I'm getting more of a "Wo ist mein handy?" vibe:

https://youtu.be/39EPz2JsbUk

Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #43 on: September 29, 2021, 12:22:20 AM »
Shat myself laughing at the intro, simple effective jokes, old school comedy, just like they used to do.

Maggie doing the first cry of the series, much too early on and by some margin the oldest crier, was hoping for unflappability and she didn't deliver, officially withdrawing my support. Freya an empath and allowed to cry, but not the other bakers and especially not Maggie, limit it to some WW2-era slurs and village-fete hair-pulling. Think if Gorg had more than a rock for a heart he'd have cried gravel tears for all he did wrong, dog penis brandy snaps must weigh heavy on one's conscience.

Jurgen's shirt too tight, handsome overachiever, nobody likes that. Parallels to Roly-mo, bet he loves it when children read, it's telling that only the male fimbles actually got the fimbling feeling and the girl fimbles only pretended because they were led on by Roly-mo, disgusting, and I imagine Jurgen has discovered that mastery of Mole Stance unlocked new depths to which he could stoop. Can't in all good conscience wish him well.

The scouse juggalo being inspired by mcdonalds must surprise no-one, she doesn't seem to know many words either. Suspect she's a children's duvet coming out of it's cover, sure I've seen her flytipped in Netherley, they leave them out in the park as a site for sky-burials of the many pets and extended family members they've forgotten to feed.

Freya a horse girl, explains a lot, the oliver postgate clothes, the split ends. Compassionate, would love to have her not finish her words properly as she frees me from a barbed-wire fence, I could live in her backpack and hoover up remnants of bean curd.


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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #44 on: September 29, 2021, 01:10:06 AM »
What I'd have loved to hear in tonights show:

"You've heard of the phrase 'rare as rocking horse shit'.  Well, if you lift its' tail it produces a perfect buttercream turd!"

Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #45 on: September 29, 2021, 10:59:26 AM »
Gingerbread is shit. Jurgen's was impressive engineering thing but I wouldn't want to eat it - and it leaned over quite a bit too. It was a slightly stupid showstopper challenge that was inevitably going to hinge half on engineering and half on arguments about what "toy" means (paging Wittgenstein). Sad that the one person who tried to make an edible showstopper ended up with a pile of rocking horse pieces suitable only for the knacker's (and poor Jairzeno's boat looked one of the more edible too).

Jammy dodgers are fun, but I'd have liked to see them allowed to be creative and cut other shapes into the top, other fillings - maybe some tofu or lard.

Also, it seems to start 2 minutes before scheduled time on Channel 4, so I missed the hilarious start again.

bgmnts

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #46 on: September 29, 2021, 01:29:00 PM »
The fact that the best two British bakers in Great British Bake Off are Italian and German is very funny.

gilbertharding

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #47 on: September 29, 2021, 01:56:23 PM »
If only there were a Japanese baker too, to complete the Axis Powers line-up.

Has this jumped the shark this year, do we think? It looks like it to me...

Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #48 on: September 29, 2021, 02:56:22 PM »
Has this jumped the shark this year, do we think? It looks like it to me...

Dunno, the quality of bakers is the highest it's been for a couple of years, but the showstoppers have been nothing to do with baking and everything to do with building shit, forcing the bakers to essentially make the same thing. Gingerbread this week, sponge on a stick last week. They were showing series 3 on the Food Network yesterday and the showstopper was to make a celebratory enriched loaf. I'd love to go back to that level of simple brief again. If someone decides they want to make a fully functioning brioche helicopter or a stollen in the shape of Fred West, then reward them for it, don't make it the baseline.

Basically, don't make it an engineering contest at the expense of the baking.

Jammy dodgers are fun, but I'd have liked to see them allowed to be creative and cut other shapes into the top, other fillings - maybe some tofu or lard.

Sadly, all the creativity was saved for finding ways to say Jammie Dodger without saying Jammie Dodger.

Jairzeno was on borrowed time after last week's bincake showstopper, so not surprised to see him go. Glad if anything. Man was utterly delusional. "I was half-expecting it"? Six shit bakes in a row and only half-expecting to go home? Mate.

Maggie went completely off brief. "I don't remember having toys". Right, but you're aware of what a toy is, yes? You're a retired midwife and your profile says you love "spending time with her great nieces and great nephews." You must have come into contact with toys at some point. Just make a cake in the shape of a doll or a teddy bear or something. You like sailing, make a toy boat. Nope, couldn't manage it. Paul mentioned a bucket and spade and she just looked at him blankly. Maybe there's some trauma from her past, maybe she's just thick. Can't wait to discover which one it is.

Jurgen's windmill looked half finished and looked like it could fall over at any point, plus everyone cooing at the sails turning. Guys, it's a bit of dowel. It's not that clever.

gilbertharding

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #49 on: September 29, 2021, 02:58:20 PM »
Dunno, the quality of bakers is the highest it's been for a couple of years, but the showstoppers have been nothing to do with baking and everything to do with building shit, forcing the bakers to essentially make the same thing.

Basically, don't make it an engineering contest at the expense of the baking.

Exactly what I meant.

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #50 on: September 29, 2021, 03:18:51 PM »
Don't think there are any gay bakers in the line-up this year, are there?

Unless this is some sort of code :

Quote
German-born Jürgen moved to the UK 18 years ago and now lives in Sussex. The IT professional and amateur trombonist started baking when he couldn't buy his beloved German bread.

gilbertharding

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #51 on: September 29, 2021, 03:31:23 PM »
Don't think there are any gay bakers in the line-up this year, are there?



Oh - Bakers.

Blue Jam

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #52 on: September 29, 2021, 07:37:31 PM »

Blue Jam

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #53 on: September 29, 2021, 09:42:30 PM »
You're all absolutely right here, these little engineering projects need to GTFO. Making cakes out of little steel girders was bad enough, but making battery-operated biscuits? What will we get next week, nuclear-powered focaccia?

There's probably a "useless as a marzipan dildo?" joke in here somewhere. Anyone else spot that obligatory chekky shot of a bit of dough rolled into the shape of a nob? Could have put George's aeroplane motor into that, job's a good 'un

Loved the bit about Jairzeno enjoying a good read, with the cover of the book pixellated so it looked like it was a mucky book.

Giuseppe's neat little biscuits and cakes are making me well jel. Mad skills there. Ditto for Jurgen's Vorsprung Durch Technik although his nekkid un-iced windmill was a bit disappointing. Someone always does a fucking windmill.

Loved Chigsy doing a playable gingerbread snooker table. Bit of Snooker Loopy. My worlds collide.

Chigsy and Giuseppe had the right idea doing gingerbread things that were less gravity-defying than a rocking horse or a fucking windmill. Why complicate things unnecessarily?

Liked Amanda's thing of not doing gingerbread, even if it is a daft idea for this kind of challenge. Rock-hard gingerbread just isn't that nice to eat.

Loved Rochica's massive hair.

Interesting to see that the technical challenges haven't all been veganised, glad cappuccinurrhhh drinker Freya hasn't spoiled it for everyone. Also Amanda asking her "What do you do with horses with broken legs?"- "Shoot them" was not the answer I had been expecting from Freyuuurrhhh.

Love Lizzie and her absolutely cigs approach to everything. Watch through your tears and learn, Maggie.

Maggie is possibly even more insufferable than The History Bit and I hope she similarly gets axed from the show before too long. I wasn't keen on her and Jurgen being all Four Yorkshiremen about not having childhood toys either.
« Last Edit: September 29, 2021, 09:59:30 PM by Blue Jam »

bgmnts

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #54 on: September 29, 2021, 09:55:45 PM »
For the toy challenge i would have just done a jigsaw and say that my dead great grandad loved jigsaws for an adequate sob story.

Simple as fuck.

Blue Jam

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #55 on: September 29, 2021, 10:02:22 PM »
Yes, a jigsaw would be a great idea, you could just make one sheet of biscuit, freeze the dough before baking so it keeps its shape perfectly and then spend the rest of the four hours fannying about with icing making it look pretty. You wouldn't have to use gingerbread either, bonus.

Personally I would have made a playable Jenga set. Glazed all the pieces to remove friction and stamped a lawyer-friendly version of "JENGA" on them all. Then again, "STACKING WOODEN BLOCK GAME" would be too long, just like "jam and buttercream cut-out sandwich biscuits". Also that game is designed to be destroyed, so you could enjoy denying Paul the satisfaction of gleefully destroying it himself.

You'd think people who were creative and imaginative with baking would be better liars, wouldn’t you? Alright, perhaps that's unfair, but they're still nowhere near X Factor levels of creative sob story fabrication.

If you asked Maggie to make a cake inspired by the naughtiest thing she's ever done she'd probably make a little marzipan effigy of herself running through a cornfield.
« Last Edit: September 29, 2021, 10:12:37 PM by Blue Jam »

Blue Jam

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #56 on: September 29, 2021, 10:14:08 PM »
Don't think there are any gay bakers in the line-up this year, are there?

Not now there isn't. Awww, I liked Jairzeno but that rainbow shipwreck sealed his fate. Back to his cute dog and pixellated books now.

Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #57 on: September 30, 2021, 12:34:35 PM »
Are you not allowed to show books on the TV any more? I guess they were too lazy to clear it with the rights holders, but it did look like he was reading at minimum a Mary Berry book and they're pretending she never existed, at worst a pop-up Mein Kampf.

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #58 on: September 30, 2021, 01:09:00 PM »
Gay bakers should be known as gaykers

Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2021
« Reply #59 on: September 30, 2021, 02:59:21 PM »
Are you not allowed to show books on the TV any more? I guess they were too lazy to clear it with the rights holders, but it did look like he was reading at minimum a Mary Berry book and they're pretending she never existed, at worst a pop-up Mein Kampf.

Now that the commercial channels can do product placement, they are extra specially careful not to mention or show products for free, especially if they are directly competing with another advertiser or the production company.

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