House Hunting

[Malcy]

Think I'm finally in a position to up sticks and get out of the utter fucking hell I have been in for the past 3 years. Dickhead shouty trumpet nose blowing prick next door is finally moving but still having to put up with the devil cat, traffic noise, junkies, scum, loudly spitting chain smoking twat etc.

But my question is, do any property searching websites actually work properly or is it just down to the people who post the listings? I type in detached, bungalows, cottages to rent etc and am plagued with terraced houses and flats that are listed as detached but it's very obvious from the pictures that they aren't.

Are there any specialist websites that deal with properties for people who just want a bit of peace and quiet? Anyone else been through similar? I scraped through on UC for long enough and am quite prepared to spend the majority of my wage on just being in a quiet environment. To me it's worth a hell of a lot more than staying where I am and having expendable income that can buy me nice but superficial things.

Also people who say strictly no smokers and no pets can fuck right off.

[Icehaven]

I sympathise completely, peace and quiet has become my no.1 priority the last few moves but it's hard to find, I haven't managed it yet (moved away from a flat with thumping music underneath to a semi earlier this year but didn't account for screaming kids in next door's garden or being able to hear the neighbours coughing through the walls) but I remain hopeful. One thing that drives me mad is how many fucking houseshares still clog up my search results even though they're for a 2+ bed house or flat. I've got a min pcm and number of bedrooms set but it still throws up endless "rooms to rent" which aren't in the price range and don't meet any other criteria of my search, so why does it keep fucking showing them? I must get 3 or 4 emails a day from Zoopla and Rightmove, the majority of which are for houseshares, which is a massive waste of everyone's time.

[Malcy]

I sympathise completely, peace and quiet has become my no.1 priority the last few moves but it's hard to find, I haven't managed it yet (moved away from a flat with thumping music underneath to a semi earlier this year but didn't account for screaming kids in next door's garden or being able to hear the neighbours coughing through the walls) but I remain hopeful. One thing that drives me mad is how many fucking houseshares still clog up my search results even though they're for a 2+ bed house or flat. I've got a min pcm and number of bedrooms set but it still throws up endless "rooms to rent" which aren't in the price range and don't meet any other criteria of my search, so why does it keep fucking showing them? I must get 3 or 4 emails a day from Zoopla and Rightmove, the majority of which are for houseshares, which is a massive waste of everyone's time.

I was looking at onthemarket earlier and it has an exclude houseshares option which is handy but still brings up everything else I don't want. Some even bring up city centre parking spaces which is ok as they are usually low priced but these sites really need to sort them out.

Another gripe is not showing enough pictures of the surrounding area of properties. I've found great stuff and based on the restricted views from windows in pictures think they look perfect then a street view search kills that off pretty quick.

[Icehaven]

I think Photoshop is in evidence sometimes in pics as well. A lot of hotels/b&bs edit out adjacent buildings so I'd imagine estate agents do it too.

[flotemysost]

Few ideas here: https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,86260.0.html

Serious answer, assuming you're talking about renting - I would just keep hammering the searches on all the sites you're using, every day if possible, because chances are if something that meets your requirements does come up, there'll be a dozen others hovering over the phone to the estate agent ready to snag it.

It's a pain (as is the stealthy shared houses in search results), and most estate agents will likely very well know exactly how stressed/eager any prospective tenants will be, meaning they'll often wield classic dickhead tactics like charging a few hundred quid "holding deposit" on the spot at viewings. If there are any specific local agencies you've been using then it might be an idea to get in touch with them directly and explain what you're after - I'm probably jaded through years of renting in central London, but in many cases you're only as good as their next commission so you might still get sent lots of wildly unsuitable stuff.

[itsfredtitmus]

Think I'm finally in a position to up sticks and get out of the utter fucking hell I have been in for the past 3 years. Dickhead shouty trumpet nose blowing prick next door is finally moving but still having to put up with the devil cat, traffic noise, junkies, scum, loudly spitting chain smoking twat etc.

But my question is, do any property searching websites actually work properly or is it just down to the people who post the listings? I type in detached, bungalows, cottages to rent etc and am plagued with terraced houses and flats that are listed as detached but it's very obvious from the pictures that they aren't.

Are there any specialist websites that deal with properties for people who just want a bit of peace and quiet? Anyone else been through similar? I scraped through on UC for long enough and am quite prepared to spend the majority of my wage on just being in a quiet environment. To me it's worth a hell of a lot more than staying where I am and having expendable income that can buy me nice but superficial things.

Also people who say strictly no smokers and no pets can fuck right off.

are you Daryl from peep show mate

[Fr.Bigley]

Do what any sane person would do, emigrate. Housing stock is too expensive renting, mortgages are nigh on impossible to get at the min, everywhere is slowly descending  into a sithole and living standards are falling at a rate of knots. Why anyone would want to stay here is beyond me, some of us are trapped though.

Have we ever been in a position in history where in a lot of cases, upto half your salary is spent on housing? Buy to let needs overhauling, landlords need to be able to pay the mortgage and perhaps make 20% on top. Not use it as a method of getting rich. Same cunts.

[Icehaven]

One other thing as well, which you may already be aware of, is that most rentals have an affordability threshold which means you have to earn a certain amount for them to deem you able to afford it, so however much of your salary you want to spend on rent it's effectively capped (somewhere between 30%-40% I think.) I'm just above the limit for mine, and for what and where it is it's actually relatively cheap so even if I wanted to spend another £50-75 a month for something better I'd probably not be able to. No idea how that'll work if we're still living there when the inevitable rent rise happens and it takes it over what I can supposedly afford. Seems almost unbelievable that letting agencies don't want us to spaff as much on rent as possible but obviously they're protecting themselves from higher probabilities of defaults (and maybe it's a legal requirement too, although I doubt it).

[Fr.Bigley]

I guess I'm just aghast that anyone should have to spend such a large chunk of income on some poxy shithole in most cases. There's no government rent cap, only for social housing, I saw a flat the other day I lived in 3 years ago for 500 quid, literally the same decor but now they were asking nearly 900 for it. Its just pure greed and it's the buy to let fuckers of a certain age reaping the tory reward. I'm glad the me generation are all getting cancer.

[Icehaven]

I guess I'm just aghast that anyone should have to spend such a large chunk of income on some poxy shithole in most cases. There's no government rent cap, only for social housing, I saw a flat the other day I lived in 3 years ago for 500 quid, literally the same decor but now they were asking nearly 900 for it. Its just pure greed and it's the buy to let fuckers of a certain age reaping the tory reward. I'm glad the me generation are all getting cancer.

Same here, when I first moved to Birmingham with a Uni friend in 2004 we rented a new build 2 bedroom flat about a 15 minute walk from the city centre for £500pcm. Just out of interest I had a look at rents on the same street a while back and it was up to about £850. It's pretty close to the HS2 station as well so once that's up and running it's probably going to be well over a grand.

[Pancake]

Think I'm finally in a position to up sticks and get out of the utter fucking hell I have been in for the past 3 years. Dickhead shouty trumpet nose blowing prick next door is finally moving but still having to put up with the devil cat, traffic noise, junkies, scum, loudly spitting chain smoking twat etc.

You moving out of yer mum and dads mate?

[Pancake]

Joke!

[Malcy]

You moving out of yer mum and dads mate?

There's times I've felt like going back there due to how much I hate where I am, and they're only a 5 minute walk away and it's like a different planet!